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Nicole's Internet Troubles

[Episode starts with Gumball and Darwin in their room on Elmore Plus]
Gumball: You know the best thing about our friends uploading their selfies? It means I can Shotofop them to make them look slightly weird. [Gumball and Darwin look at altered selfies of their classmates and come across a Sussie one, altered to make her more human-like] Oh, wait—no, Sussie looks kinda better there.
Darwin: Now let's upload them!
[Suddenly, Nicole bursts into the room, carrying a box full of random items]
Nicole: BOYS!! GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER NOW!!
Gumball: What is wrong with you?! I clenched so hard, I tore the seat!
Nicole: I was reading "Responsible Parenting" magazine. [holds up a magazine showing a live-action mom covering her children's eyes as they look at a computer]
Gumball: "Responsible Parenting" magazine? That's the magazine equivalent of having a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign over a medieval torture chamber.
Nicole: Well, there's lots of good advice in there. Such as 95 ways to protect a turkey and how to baste your children! Uh—no, wait. Uh.....
Gumball: And what's the scare hoax of the month? [mockingly] Someone found a bazooka in their kid's Halloween candy? Rap music made my nephew eat his own face? Video games played backwards will summon the prince of darkness? [He and Darwin laugh]
Nicole: No, it's about protecting your children from the dangers of the internet.
Gumball: Okay, fair enough. I've got nothing sarcastic to say about that.
Nicole: Good. So when you're online, make sure to leave the spell checker on!
Darwin: Okay.......why?
Nicole: In case someone tries to hex you with a chain letter!
Gumball: What? [Nicole pops USB sticks into their mouths]
Darwin: [takes the USB stick out of his mouth] What are you doing?!
Nicole: Updating your antivirus!
Gumball: [inspects the USB stick] How on earth is that supposed to help?! By the way, you put it in upside down.
Nicole: [takes a can of bug spray out of the box] It's like a vaccine. You expose yourself to a little of the virus to build up immunity. [sprays the computer. Gumball and Darwin cough]
Gumball: Now what are you doing?!
Nicole: Your keyboard's full of crumbs! Do you want your computer to have bugs? 'Cause that's how you'll get bugs!
Gumball and Darwin: Huh?
Nicole: Now, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to put the parental lock on.
Gumball: [sighs] Okay, fine. [She tries to put a torture mask on him] Aw, c'mon! Mom!
Nicole: But that's what the magazine said I should do!
Gumball: They meant parental locks on the computer!
Nicole: Oh, right. [The torture mask is now on the computer] There!
Gumball: No. Look, Mom, I-[Notices she's left] What?
Darwin: Where'd she go?
Nicole: [from outside] I'm setting up the firewall!
Gumball: [he and Darwin shudder] No, no, no, no-[an explosion is seen, knocking them backwards. Outside, Nicole has set up a literal wall of fire outside the house]
Nicole: Right. That should do it. [calls to Gumball and Darwin] Any questions?
Gumball: Yes. [yells to Nicole] Can you hear me all the way back there in 1836?
Nicole: Yup! [beat] Wait, what?
Gumball: Get back in here! I think it's our turn to inspect your computer.
Nicole: What do you mean?

Work Computer Inspections

[At the Rainbow Factory, the boys check Nicole's computer, which is riddled with pop-up ads. Gumball angrily gestures at her.]
Nicole: [scoffs] It works fine! [opens up a word processing window under all the pop-ups and attempts to type.]
Darwin: Mrs. Mom, that pop-up window is twenty years old! [points at a pop-up with a picture of an old dog reading. He exits the window, which turns to dust and blows away.]
Pop-Up Dog: Thank you.
[The boys watch in horror for a few seconds, then Gumball exits all the pop-ups.]
Nicole: [gasps] What kind of dark magic forgetter is this?! Oh—wait, there is one more problem with this computer. Sometimes it asks me to right-click to do something, but when I do, nothing happens! Can you fix that?
Gumball: Hmm. Show me.
Nicole: Look! [Repeatedly snaps her fingers at the computer] Even when I get closer! [She brings her hand closer and keeps snapping. Gumball pulls Darwin aside.]
Gumball: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Darwin: Uh-huh. That that little doggy just bit the dust?
Gumball: Alas, yes. But, also....
Darwin: That it's us who need to teach her about safely using the computer!
Gumball and Darwin: Mm-hmm.
[Behind them, Nicole screams in frustration and keeps snapping.]

The Internet Mindset

Gumball: Okay, let's assess the damage here. What do you mainly use your computer for?
Nicole: Oh, you know, same as everybody. Write emails, check stuff, read movies...
Gumball: You mean watch movies, right?
Nicole: No, I read them. [Some other employees in the background mumble in agreement.]
Gumball: Okay, just show us what you normally do.
[Nicole takes a seat, cracks her knuckles, and begins typing: pushing one key at a time. Many hours later, Gumball and Darwin are half-asleep while she is still typing.]
Nicole: Oh...I can never find the at!
[Gumball moves her finger over to it and yawns.]
Gumball: So this is how you type an email?
[Nicole pulls out a phone book.]
Darwin: What is that?
Nicole: My contact list.
Gumball: Wait, so you keep everyone's email address in there and then type it into the computer?
Nicole: Yeah, easy-peasy! Then, I just press send.
[She does. It is then revealed the "email" she sent was really a Christmas e-card with her face pasted to many Christmas pixies dancing.]
Gumball: "Pixi E-Mail?" What is this?
Nicole: It's my mailbox! I saw a Christmas promotion for it at the post office. And, saves on stamps!
Darwin: Mrs. Mom, normal emails are easier.
Nicole: Oh sweetie, I wouldn't want to put all the elves who live inside of the computer out of work, would I?
Gumball: Who are you sending this to?
Nicole: Oh, Mic in maintenance.
[Mic receives the e-card, which reads, "The toilet is overflowing again." He sheds a single tear.]
Gumball: OMG, you're such a mom!
Nicole: Hey, watch your tongue!
Gumball: Well, what do you think OMG means?
Nicole: I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess, I would say, offend my grandmother.
[The boys can't help but laugh at this]
Gumball: We need to teach you a little more internet lingo! What does TL;DR mean?
Nicole: Toilet.....doctor?
[They laugh again]
Darwin: Do you really think people on the internet talk about toilet doctors so much they have to abbreviate it? [They laugh harder]
Nicole: Very funny. You're lucky you two are my baes.
Gumball and Darwin: What?!
Nicole: My baes. My babies! That's what it means, right?
Gumball: [wincing] Mmmmmm...yes. Yes it does. But I'm a bit worried about the way you talk online. Let me look at your posts. [Nicole pulls one up] Oh, my word.
Darwin: [reads the post] Jackie Wilson: "Tough morning today. Anniversary of the day my grandad went missing at sea." And you answered with a photo of a sad kitten saying "ROFL?"
Nicole: Yeah! Receive our feelings and love!
Gumball: [cringing] Right. ...What else do you do?
Nicole: Sometimes I download cooking videos! [The printer is shown, printing out numerous screenshots of a video. Soon, their desk is covered in printed-out screenshots.]
Gumball: I just got the "I read movies" thing.
Darwin: Okay...so, what do you do at lunchtime?
[Lunchtime. Nicole is scrolling through a clothes shopping website while Gumball and Darwin are eating sandwiches.]
Nicole: Oh, I check out stuff I'd like to buy, but I never buy anything though.
Darwin: Why?
Nicole: Because I'm scared of getting my money stolen! It's happened before!
Gumball: It's good to be careful, but you see that little fellow right there? [Points to the "Safe" lock] If the padlock is on, it means you're safe.
Nicole: Oh, okay then. [Clicks on a pair of high heels] So, what do I do next?
Gumball: Just put it in the basket.
Darwin: [Dives down and shoves the wastebasket out of the way] NO!!! [Gumball and Nicole glance at him and resume] Huh? Really thought she was gonna chuck the computer away there.
Nicole: Guys, please. I know I'm slow, [makes a goofy face] but I'm not Interweb Explorer slow!
Gumball: [gasps excitedly] She made a browser nerd joke! She's learning! I guess there are two types of people in this world, Darwin: those who need everything spelled out for them...
Darwin: What's the second type?
Gumball: [sighs in frustration]
Nicole: Okay, so what do I do next?
Gumball: You just have to pay.
Nicole: And you promise I won't get my money stolen?
Gumball: Yeah.
[Nicole takes some cash out of her wallet and places it into her computer's disk tray.]
Nicole: [dropping on the last few coins] And ninety-nine cents. [The boys watch in dismay as she closes the disk tray, and the computer growls and shuts down.]
Gumball: Okay, so now you hold your hand out in front of it. [Nicole does] Good. Now, you slap your forehead with it until you realize. [She repeatedly slaps her forehead.]
Nicole: Realize what?
Gumball: That you just lost twenty-six dollars and ruined the computer at the same time. [Nicole slaps her forehead in true realization.] And, there it is.

Social Media Blunders

[Some time later. Gumball and Darwin have visible bags under their eyes, and are half asleep.]
Gumball: Okay, so what else do you do?
Nicole: Well, sometimes I like to share how I feel on Elmore Plus! [One of her posts is shown; it's a picture of a blue munchkin next to a quotation reading, "I'm not perfect, but at least I'm not fake."]
Gumball: "I'm not perfect, but at least I'm not fake?" Why are you posting these?!
Nicole: Because, they're funny! And look at all the little thumbs up I get!
Gumball: Mom, your profile is public!
Nicole: Well, what's wrong with that? I got nothing to hide!
Gumball: Yeah, well what about that?
[Scrolls to a post titled "Birthday Burger" with a photo of her, Anais, and Mary celebrating Nicole's birthday at Joyful Burger. Nicole is holding up her credit card, while Mary is holding a birthday card. Quattro is in the background of the shot, and he appears to be on Nicole's back.]
Nicole: So? I'm just sharing a photo of my birthday meal.
Gumball: That's not all you're sharing!You've pretty much gift-wrapped your identity for internet fraudsters. [Zooms into the date posted] First, it's your birthday, so they know when you were born. [Zooms into the card Mary is holding] Secondly, they know your address from that birthday card. [Zooms into Nicole's credit card] And finally, they know your credit card number! Front and reverse! [Zooms into Quattro] And on a separate note, you look like you have a tiny guy on your back.
Darwin: Also, please stop with the quotes from these little munchkin things! They're scientifically proven to destroy brain cells.
Nicole: Nonsense! [Scrolls through more posts with the munchkins, each with increasingly dumb captions] Are you seriously implying that casually engaging with such harmless fun will [starts to deteriorate] accerelate the deterioration of my...my....gray sack in the head that....makes the thinkings come! Mmm.....Nicole forget what saying and how to swallowing! [She starts to drool. Darwin pushes a paper cup under her to catch it.]
Gumball: Please tell me you have a strong password at least.
Nicole: [Goes back to normal] Oh, my password is very safe. Look. [types it in]
Gumball: 7, E, R, 3, dollar sign, at. Okay, uppercase, numbers, unusual characters, that's pretty strong.
Nicole: Great! [presses enter]
Darwin: But you did just post it on your timeline.
[Nicole realizes. Sure enough, we see the password on her timeline, and it has already received some smiles]
Gumball: I think I have a solution.

We're Doomed!

[Gumball sets a keyboard with only three keys on the desk.]
Gumball: There. This one is to close without saving, this one is to install malware, and the last one is to erase all your work. This should streamline your output and make you ten times more productive at being self-destructive.
Nicole: Oh, please! I'm not that bad!
Gumball: True, you're not that bad. You're the WORST! You're the reason your IT guy lost his mind and bailed!
[Quick cut to the IT guy jumping out the window and running out of a room where he has written "NICOLE" numerous times on the walls.]
Nicole: At least I'm not as bad as the rest of the guys in this office!
[They look to the Soulless Office Worker, who takes a sip of coffee and sets the cup down on the disk tray. Then, they look over to the Flight Attendant, who is covering her computer screen with white-out.]
Darwin: What....are you doing?
Flight Attendant: I'm I'm correcting a spelling mistake, duh!
[Then, Gumball walks over to John, who has set his computer screen down on the copier.]
Gumball: Uh....
John: What? I'm printin' out my report!
[Next, they look over to Phil, who is talking on the phone.]
Phil: Yes, yes, I have tried a reboot! All right, I'll try again. [He kicks the computer twice.] Yeah, no. Still nothing.
[The computer screen breaks through the copier, and John scratches his head. Gumball and Darwin turn away and start to laugh.]
Gumball: You know what's really funny about this?
Darwin: Yeah! These guys are fully grown adults!
Gumball: They're in charge! Of, like, everything! They drive cars!
Darwin: They vote!
Gumball: They're responsible for the planet!
[Suddenly, they gasp in horror.]
Gumball and Darwin: We're doomed.

Hashtag Trending

[The song starts, on an internet-looking background.]

Gumball: We made it through the ice age


The plague and two world wars


But now we're facing doom


With computers in the hands of dinosaurs

Gumball and Darwin: Feel the doom impending 'cause stupidity is hashtag trending

They go online, click every link


Like puppets of Big Brother Inc.


Surrendering their privacy


To every pop-up ad they see

Feel the doom impending 'cause stupidity is hashtag trending

Believe in posts and share fake news


Until their brains have turned to ooze


Befriending every fraud and bot


So that their minds are sure to rot

Gumball: Y POLA BEARS LIE ABOT GLUBLE WARMIN


Click on link bello SIGN UP NOW


Makeur hairs gro Want 2 b mor viewtiful face


Free stuffs avalaibul in place


Doctorate with no graduating


Singuls in ELMORE NO W8TING


Click here to stop ur crush from unfriending


Acountvoroficatian code brakedown


C313F4_R31E4H613129

Gumball and Darwin: Feel the doom impending 'Cause stupidity is hashtag trending

But they're the ones that make the world turn


And there's nothing we can do except watch it all... burn.

Back to Basics

Gumball: There's no avoiding it, Darwin. If we were any more done, we'd be a Harlem Shake meme! They cannot be trusted with computers.
Flight Attendant: Uh, guys? It says I have to press Enter to upload my photo, but when I do, nothing happens. Look. [Types out the word "Enter"] E-N-T-E-R. Ugh.
John: [Scooching backwards on his swivel chair] Oh, hey. It says I need to back up, but I've run out of space.
Leonard Daniels: It says I've got an internal error, but....I just had a heavy lunch!
Phil: It says I need a driver, but I came by bus!
Soulless Office Worker: And mine says "Bus Error", but I came by train!
Gumball: Yeah, I don't think you're quite ready for this.
[Takes away his computer, and Darwin replaces it with a toy typewriter. Phil's computer is replaced with an abacus, the Flight Attendant's phone is replaced with a chatter telephone, and Leonard's computer is replaced with a toy xylophone.]
Leonard Daniels: Oh! [Happily plays it, but accidentally pokes himself in the eye with one of the mallets. Gumball and Darwin facepalm in frustration. Episode ends.]
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