The Virus/Transcript

The Virus Army

[The episode starts with tons of virus organisms on Gumball's fur, then one of them stands on a hill-like lump of fur]

Virus: Brothers, we've mutated many times over for this moment, but now we are ready. Today, we take this body; tomorrow, the REST OF THE WORLD!

[The virus army starts cheering and raising their fists]

Virus: None will be safe from our infection! Our glory will be greater than the pox, the plague and bad flu combined!

[One virus grunts as he pounds his chest]

Virus: [Raises his fist] Follow me to the nostril!

Virus Army: Hoorah!

[The army follows the leader as he charges, but they all stop when the ground starts to shake]

Virus: Huh?

[Scene changes to the school corridor where Teri is forcing Gumball to wash his hand; Darwin stands nearby, watching them]

Gumball: [Struggling] Get off! Why don't you clean your own hand, you clean freak!?

Teri: Wash it now, you disgusting biohazard!

Gumball: [To Darwin] Man, for a paper girl she's surprisingly strong.

Darwin: I think it's more like you're surprisingly weak.

Gumball: [To Teri] I don't want to wash it! [continues to resist Teri's efforts]

Teri: What is your problem?!

Darwin: [Sighs] He got a high five from Penny three months ago and refused to wash it since.

Teri: [Shocked] Don't tell me you haven't showered in ninety days.

Gumball: Of course I've showered, I'm not an art student. I just wrap my hand in swimming trunks to keep it dry.

Darwin: Ask him how often he washes those.

Gumball: You don't wash swimming trunks, they clean themselves when you swim. [Puts his hands on his chin] Right?

[Teri backs away from Gumball in disgust]

Teri: Ewwww! When Penny hears that, she'll be so horrified that her antlers will turn white.

Gumball: Please don't tell her!

[Gumball stares at his hand, pondering]

Gumball: What if I just cut it off and keep it in a memory box?

Teri: [Grabs Gumball's hand and drags it into the fountain] Just wash it!

Gumball: [While his hand gets washed] Noooooooooo!

[High-pitched "Nooo" sounds are heard from Gumball's hand, followed by drowning sounds]

Darwin: Did you hear that?

Gumball: What?

Darwin: Kinda sounded like a choir of gnomes going down a waterslide.

Gumball: What, like- [Imitates the sounds almost perfectly]

Darwin: Yeah... exactly.

Gumball: Nah, didn't hear it.

[Camera zooms into the sink where the Virus Leader, the only survivor, is lying flat on his face]

Virus: [Wakes up] I will find you, and when I do, I swear on my fallen comrades, I will infect you, and I will destroy you, and then I will take over your family, your friends and I won't stop until nothing is left alive on the surface of the Earth! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

[Camera zooms out, showing an empty school corridor]

Virus: [High-pitched voice] DO YOU HEAR ME?!

The School Library

[The school bell rings and the scene changes to the school library where Gumball and several students are playing Space Invaders. When the librarian walks past, all of the students pretend to do homework]

Gumball: [Turns flat and makes a bad impression of Teri] You may want to clean up the alien slime on your laser gun. You could get sick from that!

Darwin: [Turns flat and imitates Teri as well] I always carry my intergalactic antibacterial gel in case I need to interfere with people's lives.

[Both of them snicker]

Teri: [Appears out of nowhere] I'm right here, you know!

[Gumball and Darwin scream]

Gumball and Darwin: Sorry.

[Teri closes the Space Invader game and uses the internet]

Gumball: Hey, I just picked up the proton bazooka!

Teri: If you think germs are so funny, then maybe you should look at THIS!

[Teri enters a website using the keyboard]

Gumball: OH MY GOSH, what is that?

Teri: That's my mom. This is her website. She's a doctor.

Gumball and Darwin: Oh.

[Teri goes to another page]

Gumball: OH MY GOSH! WHAT IS THAT!?

Teri: That is what happens to a finger if you don't disinfect a cut.

Darwin: It looks like a purple foot covered in mayo!

[Teri squirts some sanitizing gel onto her hand]

Teri: And that only came from a paper cut!

Darwin: GIVE ME THAT! [grabs Teri's bottle of sanitizer and rubs it all over himself, growing multiple arms in the process]

Darwin: [to Teri] Can you do my back?

Gumball: [Makes a impression of Teri] Oh no, evil germs are out to get us! [Changes back to his normal voice] The germs are fine, man! They're part of life, that's Mother Nature trying to make you stronger!

Teri: Oh really? You do know that the keyboard you just used has more germs on it than a toilet seat?

[Gumball sighs and licks the keyboard then the camera zooms into the keyboard where the Virus can be seen]

Virus: YES! My chance for revenge! [Bacteria start appearing behind him] Huh? Stay back, bacteria, he's mine!

Green Bacteria Minion: Come on, virus, there's plenty to share!

[Bacteria starts charging towards Gumball's tongue]

Virus: I SAID GET BACK!

Bacteria Minion: [While the Virus hits them] Right at the flagella! Right at the ribosomes! [The Virus grabs one of the bacteria and uses it as a weapon] Dude, not the cytoplasm! [The Virus smacks another bacteria] It hurts me too you know! [The Virus throws the bacteria towards a giant blue bacteria] Ahhhhh!

[One of the bacteria gets past the virus and reaches the tongue]

Virus: Hey! I said get back!

[The Virus catches the bacteria and shoots him like a torpedo towards the other bacteria, causing a big blue explosion]

Virus: Hahhaha! [Turns around] Huh? [Sees Gumball's tongue and it's leaving in the keyboard] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

To the Infirmary

Gumball: Nearly there... just focusing... and... yep. You're right. There's definitely no hair on your butt. [places microscope back] I don't think you'll ever grow a beard, man.

[Darwin whimpers]

Teri: You do know there are more germs on a pair of buttocks than the toilet seat, right?

Gumball: [scoffs] I don't care. I'm one of those people who never get sick anyway.

Teri: What, a liar?

Gumball: No, I just tell my body not to get sick.

Teri: [sarcastically] Oh really? And how do you do that?

Gumball: The power of the mind over the flesh. I can control any part of my body. Watch.

[He moves his ears all the way down to his chin. He then rotates his arms and torso as his legs move straight up and down.]

Gumball: You believe me now?

Teri: Uh, yeah, sure.

Gumball: Good, 'cause now you're gonna have to take me to the infirmary.

[Scene changes to the infirmary. Gumball is on the bed, stuck in his pose.]

Joan: [examining Gumball] Well, your heart's in your stomach and you'll be breathing out of your arm for a while but apart from that you're hunky-dory. [Fixes Gumball's arms]

Gumball: Ow!

[Gumball and Darwin hug, sighing with relief.]

Teri: What? Where did you get your diploma? The World College of Ducks? 'Cause you're a certified quack! You haven't run a blood test, taken a temperature or even an x-ray!

Joan: He's fine, he just needs to walk it off.

Teri: I'm talking about me! [points at Gumball and Darwin] I've been in contact with these germ-bags all day! [weak voice] I can feel myself getting ill...

Joan: Hmm, like Monday, when you thought the foam in your mouth was rabies only to discover it was toothpaste? Or Tuesday, when you thought you broke your leg even though you don't have any bones? Or yesterday, when you thought you'd gone deaf because nobody had spoken to you for five minutes?!

[Teri inhales angrily, and sighs as she droops her head]

Discovery

[The scene changes to the school lab. Gumball, Darwin and Teri are using microscopes.]

Gumball: [To Teri] You know, I think I've actually found a disease you suffer from. Attention-seeking-itis. [gasps] Dr. Darwin, is there a cure?

Darwin: [deep voice, pretending to be a doctor] Yes, getting a life.

[Gumball and Darwin snicker, Teri plucks a strand of hair from Gumball]

Gumball: Ow!

Teri: I just needed a hair sample. [looks at the strand through the microscope, then gasps]

Gumball: [sighs] Lemme guess, you found a deadly virus previously unknown to science, and it's coming after us.

Teri: Yes, exactly.

Gumball: [sarcastically] Oh no! What should we do, Dr. Darwin?

Darwin: [pretends to be a doctor again] I recommend a high-dose treatment of sarcastic looks.

[Gumball and Darwin fold their arms and look sarcastically at Teri]

Teri: Could you at least look at it?

[The boys do not respond. Teri sniffs, and draws a tear on her cheek]

Gumball: [sighs] Alright, whatever. [looks through microscope] What the pox? [sees the Virus, who seems to be insulting Gumball] Dude, she's right! There's a virus. And he's making rude gestures at me with those little tentacles!

[Darwin looks through the microscope as well. He sees the virus grow wings.]

Darwin: What does it mean when a virus grows wings?

Teri: [panicks] Let me look. [looks through microscope]

[The Virus starts flying towards them.]

Teri: [gasps] It's mutated and gone airborne.

[Teri grabs a pencil, erases her mouth and draws a surgical mask in its place.]

Darwin: Give me that! [grabs pencil and also draws a mask on his face]

[Teri tries to speak, but is muffled.]

Gumball: Hold on. [draws Teri a tiny mouth]

Teri: [small voice] We need to hide in a sterilized environment. [erases mouth again]

Finding the Cure

[Scene changes to the Watterson living room. The kids are on the couch. Each are wearing protective gear: Darwin is in his fishbowl; Gumball has a plastic inflatable ball over his head; Teri is folded inside a clear plastic paper sleeve. Gumball is browsing on his laptop.]

Gumball: Which virus do you think it is?

Darwin: Let's read the symptoms.

Teri: [sighs] What's the point? We'll never know which virus it is if it's always mutating. [whispers] They're the worst, they always find a way to get you.

Darwin: Then we need to fight fire with fire! [concentrates]

Gumball: What are you doing?

Darwin: Trying... to... mutate! [cracks the fishbowl] Ah!

[The laptop beeps]

Gumball: [gasps] An email from free online medication without prescription!

[He clicks on it.]

Laptop: Virus detected. Initiating virus protection protocol-

[The laptop screen glitches, and it shuts down.]

Gumball: Hmm, maybe it's just rebooting.

[The laptop starts growling and moving on its own.]

Gumball: Uhh, did you see that?

[Darwin and Teri have leaped out of their protective gear and the couch. The laptop starts attacking Gumball.]

Gumball: Can I get a little help over here?!

Darwin: Try to turn it off and on.

[The laptop bites at Gumball, and tears off the ball on his head. It spits it out and jumps at Gumball again]

Gumball: Ahh! Darwin! Unplug it! [runs away]

[The laptop growls at Darwin, and starts barreling towards him. Darwin screams as the laptop nears, but then Teri charges in and douses the laptop using a mug of water. The laptop's screen turns blue, then shuts down.]

Darwin: Ah! I told you PCs were unreliable.

[The Virus' face appears on the TV screen]

Virus: You thought you had escaped me, but you thought wrong. I am a warrior who can never be defeated. I have mutated and now I'm gonna take-

[Gumball mutes the TV]

Gumball: Let's get out of here while he's still talking [his hand goes towards the doorknob]

[A compact disk flies at the door, embedding itself into the wood. The Virus starts launching CDs from the stereo]

Gumball: Huh? Get down! It's a multi-changer! [They take cover behind the sofa]

Darwin: How did he get into the stereo!?

Teri: He's mutated and infected the entire electrical system!

Escape

[Several appliances start floating and moving towards the sofa.]

Gumball: Every electrical device in this house is coming after us, it'll be safer if- [an electric razor attacks Gumball] Ahh! [sits up; his eyebrows are missing] Aww man, not the eyebrows!

Teri: How exactly do you feel about that? Angry? Surprised? Upset? I can't tell.

[Gumball grows his eyebrows back]

Teri: Oh.

Darwin: On my command! Three! Two! One!

[The music stutters, and the disk slot on the stereo opens]

Darwin: Go!

[The kids run into the kitchen]

Teri: How did you know that would happen?

Darwin: My mix-tape is all scratched up. It always jams. [screams; the waffle iron has clamped onto his foot] The waffle iron!

Gumball: Oh my gosh! Your leg! Is it burning?

Darwin: [calmly] Nah, I overreacted. It's warming up really slowly. [removes the iron from his foot]

[The toaster starts shooting bread at them, so they take cover behind the fridge door]

Gumball: But what do you want from us?

Virus: [using the boombox] I want my vengeance! You washed away my army, and now you shall PAY!

Gumball: [to Teri] I told you I shouldn't have washed my hands. [to the Virus] Well you're not gonna destroy us with pastry! [gets a mouthful of pastry in his mouth]

Virus: The pastries were just a decoy, my friend.

[The microwave crackles and shoots rays out, burning the Robinsons' roast turkey next door. Gumball, Darwin, and Teri run out to the backyard]

Gumball: Shh, what's that sound?

[Scene changes to the shed. A rotary saw blade flies out the door. Gumball and Darwin duck. They look down, and Gumball gasps. Teri appears to be decapitated.]

Gumball: Teri... are... you okay?

[Teri does not respond]

Gumball: She's not answering.

Darwin: I think it's for the best. 'Cause if she tried to talk, she'd sound like [makes gurgling sounds].

Gumball: [sobs and kneels] I'm so sorry, Teri. I shouldn't have made fun of you.

Darwin: [sobs and kneels as well] At least, she doesn't need to worry about germs anymore.

[Teri suddenly sits up, head intact]

Teri: Watch out! [Gumball and Darwin scream in surprise] No, behind you! [points]

[The lawnmower bursts out of the shed. Gumball, Darwin, and Teri dodge it. They jump over the fence, and the lawnmower plows right into the fence]

Gumball: [panting] That was close. We should be safe out here, there's no electrical stuff.

[The lawnmower bumps into a parked car. A wave of electricity washes over the car and it starts. The virus' face appears on the car's sattnav.]

Sattnav: System online. [The Virus laughs evilly]

Gumball: Oh man, he's mutated again!

[Several cars nearby also start, then they barrel towards the kids, who then run away.]

Gumball: I've got an idea! [flips a stop sign towards the cars]

[The cars completely ignore the sign, plowing into it as they continue the chase]

Gumball: I thought he'd at least slow down at the stop sign.

[The cars surround them]

Teri: Quick! Down the alley!

[The cars follow them down the alley, and corner them. Gumball steps forward and berates the Virus]

Gumball: Hey, Virus!? Where's the honor in this!? Five cars against three kids? I thought you were a warrior, not a coward!

Virus: Who are you calling a coward? I don't need an army to take you down!

Gumball: Then come out and fight me like a man!

Virus: You're on!

[The cars turn off; one of the cars get the hood flipped open, revealing the Virus]

Virus: I hope your body is ready, because I'm gonna turn it into a cesspit of pain. Not just regular pain, it will be a seven-course banquet of pain. There will be a starter of suffering, a fish course of torment, and excruciating dessert! And just when you think you're full, you'll be served... a coffee and biscotti of misery!

[Gumball simply steps on the Virus, producing a "SQUISH" sound and subsequently ending the episode.]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition