The Stories/Transcript

Would You Rather?

[The episode begins with Gumball and Darwin riding the bus to school. They are playing a game of "Would You Rather?"]

Gumball: Okay, ready? You gotta choose, or you'll never find true love! Would you rather... have skin that smells of cheese, or a tongue that grows leg hair?

Darwin: I have trouble seeing how either of those choices would ever allow me to find true love.

Gumball: It's a game, dude! You have to choose. You know, like, would you rather pass wind through your nose, or smell with your backside?

Darwin: Ugh, okay, whatever. Smell with my backside.

Gumball: Would be pretty bad every time you sneeze.

Darwin: Okay, can we change the subject? [To the other students] Anybody, please!

Molly: Ooh, ooh, I've got a story! So, I was staying the night at my grandma's house in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, when I was woken up by this weird noise. Drip, drip, drip. It was coming from the kitchen. I crept across the hallway, it was getting louder and louder! Drip! Drip!

[Gumball is holding onto Darwin in fear, while Banana Joe bursts into laughter]

Banana Joe: Sorry, I just got the butt sneeze thing.

Molly: I turned the handle, pushed open the door... and...

[Gumball and Darwin are perspiring; Their teeth chatter]

Molly: and...

[Sarah's head is melting]

Molly: and...

[Banana Joe's mouth is agape]

Molly: Well, someone had left the faucet on, so I tightened it up and went back to bed.

Gumball: [Releases Darwin after a brief pause] I don't get it. What's the payoff here?

Banana Joe: It was the faucet all along! Hahahahaha! Actually, it's not that funny.

Gumball: [Sarcastic] No it was great! We were expecting there to be something good, and there wasn't. What a twist.

Molly: Oh really? Well you're gonna love my other stories. So I got this uncle, and he's a huge practical joker. And last time I saw him, guess what he did? He made me a sandwich! [Laughs loudly]

[Gumball and Darwin give her a blank stare. Molly carries on through a series of overlapping stories, with her classmates growing increasingly bored]

Molly: And there was this one Christmas where I didn't wake up 'til like seven AM, and then everything... On my sixth birthday we had pizza, and... One time on the street, I saw a dog! I've got a million stories just like that.

[The bus passes by Gary Hedges, who is walking his dog]

Molly: Hey! A million and one. You know why my favorite color is blue? No? Me neither. I asked my mom for a red apple 'cause I don't like the green ones, and she only... And she showed me her new necklace, and I had no opinion on it anyway... I ordered a cheeseburger, but when I opened up the cheeseburger-

Tobias​​: Hey Ocho, what's the most annoying sound you can make?

Ocho: [Emits a noise akin to that of a dial-up modem]

Tobias​​: Ahh, keep going, it's so much better than her.

Molly: ... Joyful Burger, and they gave me exactly what I-

Darwin: [To Gumball] I wish life was like in movies. Right now, we'd be going through some cross-fade montage instead of suffering through every...single...word.

Molly: ... We all thought that was ironic...

[The bus is now parked at the school. Carmen, Alan, Tobias, Darwin, and Gumball disembark out of the school bus, looking weary]

Gumball: [Looks around] Wait... What are we doing at school?! [Drops to his knees] NOOO! That journey was so boring I thought the whole day had passed, [Cries, pressing his face to the cement] but it's still morning!

Molly: Hey, did I tell you about when my brown crayon ran out? Don't worry though, this story has a happy ending.

[Gumball picks himself up, displaying a hostile demeanor]

Gumball: Does it involve the main character being slowly run over by a bus?!

Molly: Noo, [Giggles] I used felt-tip pens instead. True story. Which reminds me of another stor-

No Escape

[The school bell rings. Gumball and Darwin are walking in the hallway, with Molly close behind]

Molly: And the thing is, it was my favorite pencil as well. One of the red ones- [Continues to ramble on]

Gumball: [Whispering to Darwin] Feels like we've been walking down this corridor for half an hour now. It's like a... a superpower. She can distort time and space using only boredom!

[It is shown that Gumball and Darwin are unable to move forward due to a lack of friction]

Rocky: Nah, I just buffed the floor.

Molly: That's what I'm talking about now-

Gumball: [Irritated] Somebody's gotta man up and put an end to this!

Molly: So they're like-

[Gumball takes a deep breath and turns to confront Molly, which results in him spinning around in circles until he is stopped by Darwin]

Gumball: Thank you.

Molly: Well I mean, I guess they're similar to-

Gumball: Alright girl, listen up! Because... [Loses his nerve, pushing Darwin in front] Uh, D-Darwin has something he wants to say to you.

Darwin: [Hushed] Wait, what?

Gumball: [Hushed] Tell her, dude. You know, how you think her stories are...

[They look into Molly's exaggerated puppy-dog eyes]

Gumball: You know... [Bluntly] Straight up awful!

Molly: [Gasps]

Darwin: I though we were both chickening out. That was like headbutting a kitten! [To Molly] Uhh, he meant "awful" as in they... fill us with awe!

Molly: Ah, ha! I thought I was boring you for a second.

Darwin: Noo, your stories are great. It's just, maybe they could be um-

Gumball: Shorter. Better. Over.

Darwin: H-He means they just need a little editing. Come with us.

[In unison, the three exhale repeatedly, propelling themselves backward. They go to the library in order to use the computer]

Darwin: Okay, so Gumball used this editing software to make your stories more... uh, to the point.

[A doctored video of Molly starts playing on the monitor]

Molly: Uh, so yesterday- [Numerous clips of her being cut off or breathing flash by] True story.

[Darwin notices Molly's dismay and forces a laugh]

Darwin: [Fibbing] Yeah, just kidding. Your stories are perfect the way they are.

Molly: [Cheers up] Oh good! I hope you would tell me if I was boring.

[Gumball tries to speak up, but Darwin grabs his lips, causing his head to explode]

Darwin: Bless you.

[Gumball and Darwin are now in their classroom, alongside Molly and a number of classmates]

Molly: And I woke up, and I wasn't in my own bedroom, but then I remembered I was on vacation-

Gumball: [Sighs; To Darwin] My brain is full. Every time she says something, I have to forget something else to make room for it! If she says another word, I'm gonna forget my parents. Do you really want that on your conscience, whatever your name is?

Darwin: I'm sorry, I just don't have the heart to hurt her feelings.

Molly: Have you ever-

[School bell rings]

Gumball: Home time at last!

Darwin: You mean lunchtime.

Gumball: [Gruffly] I hate you.

Darwin: It's not me, it's time!

Gumball: I hate you both.

Molly: I guess I'm just-

Last Resort

[Gumball, Darwin, and Molly enter the cafeteria, sitting together at a table]

Molly: Last night I had the craziest dream that my pajamas had pockets, and then I woke up and they did have pockets. I mean-

Darwin: [Whispers] Maybe we should just try and tune her out.

Gumball: [Whispers] Okay.

[Gumball and Darwin each push a hand into the side of their head, adjusting the frequency as their eyes turn to static. While Molly is speaking, they briefly tune in again whenever she says something interesting]

Molly: That time, and there was this explosion-

Gumball and Darwin: [Gasp]

Molly: of interest in my stamp collection.

Gumball and Darwin: [Sigh]

Molly: That always reminds of the time I did a backflip-

Gumball and Darwin: [Gasp]

Molly: and then the pancakes were done.

Gumball and Darwin: [Sigh]

Molly: I saw a murder-

Gumball and Darwin: [Gasp]

Molly: of crows... And there was a tsunami-

Gumball and Darwin: [Gasp]

Molly: of homework... End of the world!

Gumball and Darwin: [Gasp]

Molly: And I was like, it's not the end of the world if you run out of margarine. And so we went to the store and bought some more-

[They both groan, but Gumball prevents Darwin from tuning her out again]

Gumball: Hold on, dude. If we keep doing this to our brains, we might do some real damage.

[The side of each brother's face droops and becomes disfigured]

Darwin: How many fingers am I holding up?

Gumball: What?

Darwin: You're going to have to look down. I can't move anything below the neck.

Molly: I say that like three times a day-

Gumball: Thirtyleven. Ah, I'm glad we stopped before it was too late. [Bites into a paper napkin, then dabs his mouth with a sandwich]

Molly: My third favorite sentence is, "Not for me, I'm allergic."

[A whistle blows; Gumball's class is in the gymnasium with Coach Russo]

Molly: And I was in the kitchen making toast, and my dad smelled the toast and he ate it. True story.

[Jamie grins while holding a dodgeball. She approaches Gumball and Darwin, as the rest of the class hide behind Molly]

Molly: Hey did I tell you about my birthday party? I didn't have one, but I-

Gumball: I'm sorry dude, but she's gotta go. I'm gonna push her in front of Jamie.

Darwin: No, wait. What if we, you know... pass the ball?

Gumball: I don't care about the game! I'm talking about Molly!

Darwin: So am I. I-I just thought it was a good analogy on theme with the, you know, dodgeball and... Doesn't matter. What I meant was... [Steps around Molly] Hey guys! Have you heard Molly's stories?

Molly: I picked up the ace of hearts, and-

Banana Joe: [Somber] Yes, and I'm afraid there is only one way to ensure we never have to hear another.

Molly: I think if anyone else had-

[Dramatic music plays as Banana Joe approaches Jamie and steels himself for her throw. The dodgeball decapitates him and his body drops to the floor. Gumball and Darwin watch in horror as Carmen and Alan step out next, holding hands. They exchange gentle smiles when Carmen gets knocked off her feet and Alan pops upon colliding with the ball. Leslie gets one right in the face, and his petals fall off. Sarah gives a stoic two-finger salute before a ball sends her head flying. Tobias gets blown back severely. Finally, Bobert's blow causes him to short-circuit. As he sinks into a pile of dodgeballs, he slowly gives a thumbs up. Now, it’s Gumball and Darwin's turn. They grab hands and brace themselves, when Molly dives in front of them.]

Molly: [Slow-motion] NOOO!

[It strikes her in the head and she falls]

Gumball: Molly! [Kneels, holds her neck] But why? Why save us?

Molly: [Looks up; Weakly] Because you listened to me.

[Molly closes her eyes and lowers her head, however Gumball and Darwin are only afforded a moment of silence before she recovers]

Molly: That reminds me of a story! We were camping, and-

Gumball: [Slow-motion] NOOO!

Hide-and-Seek

[The next day, Molly is on the school bus and searching for Gumball and Darwin. She is unable to find them, as they are wedged between her and the bus seat]

Molly: Guys? Guys?

[In the school hallway, she continues her search, passing by a familiar looking blue garbage can and orange alarm bell]

Molly: Guys? Gumball? Darwin?

[Next, she is seated at a table in the seemingly vacant cafeteria]

Molly: Hello?! [Stands and walks off-screen]

[Gumball and Darwin appear in the background, disguised as a water cooler and a fire extinguisher]

Gumball: Quick! Let's get outta here, find the most remote place in school, and hide there until she graduates to college.

[Gumball and Darwin sneak into a bathroom with an "Out of Order" sign on the door]

Gumball: [Hushed] Shh, don't raise your voice.

Molly: [Emerges from the stall behind them; Hushed] Okay. You guys want some fries?

Gumball: Thanks. [Eats fry; Eyes go wide]

Darwin: [Sees Molly; Screams silently]

Gumball: Dude, what was that?

Darwin: You said don't raise your voice.

Gumball: [Sighs] Why are you here?

Molly: This is my special dark place.

Gumball and Darwin: What?

Molly: A special dark place. You know? It's where you go when no one wants to talk to you because you have nothing interesting to say, and you feel really boring and awkward. Don't you have one?

[Gumball and Darwin are shown with tears streaming down their cheeks]

Gumball: [Sniffles] Of course. Everyone's got a special dark place. R-Right Darwin?

Darwin: Y-Yeah, mine is in uhh... [Voice trails off as he points towards his rear end]

Gumball: Wha?

Darwin: Never mind.

Gumball: [To Molly] Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you come and join us in the playground in ten minutes?

[Gumball and Darwin leave the bathroom and head down the hall]

Darwin: [Uneasy] What are we doing?

Gumball: We're giving Molly a proper story to tell! Something with danger, comedy, action, romance, or literally anything happening at all.

Darwin: And an ending.

Gumball: Yes! And a gosh darn ending! Who's with me?!

Muffled Voices: Yes!

Gumball: Who said that?

[Gumball opens the nearby locker. Alan, Carmen, Anton, Tobias, Carrie, Sarah, Banana Joe, Rainbow Octopus, Leslie, Bobert, and Colin move out of the locker, followed by Principal Brown]

Gumball: What the? What are you all doing in there?

Banana Joe: We're hiding from Molly.

Gumball: You do realize there's like a hundred lockers in this corridor?

Nigel Brown: We panicked.

Chain Reaction

[Molly exits the bathroom and makes her way through an empty hallway. Turning a corner, she is spotted by Carrie, who flies off to signal Bobert]

Carrie: [Gives a thumbs up] Okay.

[As Carrie disappears, Bobert runs around the corner. He casually returns, intercepting Molly by the drinking fountain]

Bobert: Hello Molly.

[The fountain sprays Bobert and he goes haywire, rocketing in the opposite direction. He crashes to a halt just as his face comes into contact with Carmen]

Alan​​: [Gasps] How dare you kiss my promised! I shall have my revenge on your treachery, Bobert!

Carmen: Alan, don't fight over me!

[Alan unties his knot, using the air stream to launch himself into Bobert. Together, they fly over Molly's head and collide with Tina. Tina steps on a deflated Alan and faces Bobert]

Tina: [Snarls] What kind of girl do you think I am?! [Futilely tries to slap Bobert] Oh whatever.

[Tina whacks him with her tail instead, and he smashes into the opposite wall]

Bobert: Engaging defense protocol. [Activates his combat mode]

[Tina charges at him, and they grapple as Molly gets out of the way. An errant laser destroys the wall near Molly, revealing Principal Brown and School Nurse in the Nurse's Office]

Joan: [Spanish] Principal Marrón, no podemos ocultarnos nuestro secreto de la Miss Simian. [Subtitle] Principal Brown, we can no longer hide our secret from Miss Simian.

[Principal Brown appears to be pregnant]

Nigel Brown: [Spanish] Oh Nurse! Caramba! Hemos sido descubiertos! [Subtitle] Oh Nurse! Gasp! We've been discovered!

[School Nurse picks up a vial and throws it past Molly. It shatters by a door across the hall]

Mister Small​​: [Opens the door] Oh, hi Molly, how ya doin'?

[Upon exposure to the released vapors, Mr. Small raves incoherently and starts convulsing violently. He starts locker-surfing and his spasmodic movements send him racing up the corridor and off-screen. He then trips Coach Russo, who lands on her back. The floor collapses beneath her, and she proceeds to fall through several more while Molly watches from above. The severed gas and electrical lines trigger an explosion, and Molly rushes outdoors to the playground where Gumball and Darwin are waiting. Carmen, Principal Brown, Sarah, Mr. Small, Tobias, Leslie, Masami, and Carrie stare out the windows, all covered with dirt from the explosions]

Molly: Guys! Guys! You'll never guess what just happened!

Gumball: [Eager] A story? Please tell us!

Molly: Well, I was walking down the corridor, and I saw that water fountain.

Gumball: Yeah, and?!

Molly: Oh nothing. I just forgot there was a water fountain there. And then I saw Carmen, Alan, Tina, and Bobert, and I'm pretty sure Alan and Carmen are more than just friends. Gossip! [Gumball and Darwin appear to be dumbfounded] Oh, and you shoulda seen Principal Brown. He had a bellyache. And then Mr. Small said hi to me, but to be honest, I was kinda distracted by the coach. She was doing some plumbing.

[Gumball and Darwin are sharing a vexed expression]

Molly: But the best part of the story, is the end. Because clearly you guys set up all that stuff so I'd have something interesting to tell. That means we're friends. True story. [Kisses both of them on the forehead]

Gumball: We're gonna hear that story for the rest of our lives, aren't we?

Darwin: At least it has a happy ending.

[The episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition