The Sorcerer/Transcript

Peer Pressure

[The episode opens in the school cafeteria. Gumball and Darwin, seated at a table, are in the middle of a conversation]

Gumball: Right. How 'bout this? I can guess the time.

Darwin: Okay, what time is it?

Gumball: [Strains his mind] Friday.

Darwin: Dude, I don't think that counts as a special talent.

Gumball: How about this? I can bend spoons using my mind. [Grunts; Twists a spoon with his hands]

Darwin: Uh, I thought you were gonna use your mind.

Gumball: I did. My mind told my hands to bend the spoon.

Darwin: That doesn't count.

[Gumball sighs, and they head to the playground. On a bench, Gumball is lost in thought, observing some pigeons]

Gumball: Oh-oh-oh! I can talk to animals! [Approaches a bird; Cooing] Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?

Darwin: Dude, that's not talking to animals, that's talking at animals.

[Gumball and Darwin are at the sports field, along with Coach Russo and some of their classmates]

Gumball: I can crack my neck! [Demonstrates; His head hangs limp] Once.

Darwin: [Fixes Gumball] Why is it so important for you to have a special talent all of a sudden?

Gumball: Because everyone else has one!

[While Gumball speaks, the students in question display their abilities]

Gumball: Carrie can go through stuff. Clayton can shape-shift. And even Alan can float! I'm like a superhero whose only power is converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Darwin: That sounds cool!

Gumball: It's just breathing, dude.

[The bell rings, and school lets out. Gumball and Darwin are on the steps leading to the main entrance]

Darwin: You could learn a talent. How about art?

Gumball: We both know how that ended last time.

[During the flashback, Gumball is in the art room with Mr. Small. Above them, a model of planet Earth is suspended from the ceiling and engulfed in flames]

Gumball: I call it, "Global Warming."

[The rope snaps, and the globe rolls across the floor, spreading its fire. Screaming, the class races for the fire escape, but the door is actually painted on the wall]

Banana Joe: Aah! What is that?!

Gumball: That's my second piece. It's called, "No Escape."

[As the blaze intensifies, the memory ends]

Gumball: People just aren't ready for me.

Darwin: How 'bout your party trick?

Gumball: Oh, this? [Stands; Talks out of his backside] That's not so much a talent as it is a medical condition.

[They both sigh, and a noise from above catches their attention. Mrs. Jötunheim flies down on her broom, landing at Hector's feet]

Mrs. Jötunheim: Hi, honey.

Hector: Hi, Mom. What's for dinner?

Mrs. Jötunheim: Broccoli for me, trees for you.

[She casts a spell, causing Hector to vanish, then takes off once more]

Gumball: [Gasps; Quietly] That's what I'm gonna do!

Darwin: I'm not sure making school children disappear is a talent you want to have.

Gumball: No, dude! I'm gonna learn magic!

Darwin: [Incredulous] What?

Gumball: You know, I'll be like that boy in the book who was told he was special by a bearded guy who took him to a big castle to learn magic.

Darwin: Oh yeah! The nice boy with the scar and the spectacles.

Gumball: [Scoffs] No! The butt-kicking one with the snake and no nose.

Darwin: Oh yeah... No wait, what?!

Witch Trial & Tribulation

[Gumball and Darwin walk up to the enormous cavern that Hector calls home. Inside, his mother can be heard cackling loudly]

Darwin: [Worried] Dude, this sounds like trouble.

[Inside the cave, Mrs. Jötunheim is shown browsing the internet via crystal ball]

Mrs. Jötunheim: Ah, what's next? [Reads headline] "Ten ridiculous objects wuggles use instead of magic." [Swipes up; Cackles] They eat turkey for the winter solstice instead of children?

[Her laughter persists until an error message pops up]

Mrs. Jötunheim: Ah, derpadabra, I've lost the witch-fi.

[Lifting the ball up, she backs out of the chamber]

Mrs. Jötunheim: Tsk. Come on, there's gotta be a signal around here somewhere.

[Mrs. Jötunheim enters the tunnel where Gumball and Darwin are waiting, concealed by shadow. She turns around and recoils upon seeing them, dropping the crystal ball]

Mrs. Jötunheim: AHH! [Huffs] What are you doing here?

Gumball: Teach me!

Mrs. Jötunheim: Oh, I'll teach you... [Blasts them outside with a spell] Some manners!

Gumball: But I brought all this witching stuff! [Collects his backpack] Eye of newt, toe of frog, wool of bat.

Darwin: [Contrite] They'll never let us back in the zoo after this.

Gumball: [Imploring] Please, ju-just give me a chance.

Mrs. Jötunheim: Beat it! You don't have what it takes.

Gumball: No! I'm gonna prove to you that I'm worthy! Try me.

Mrs. Jötunheim: No!

Gumball: [Ranting] Witch trial! Witch trial! Witch trial! Witch trial!

Mrs. Jötunheim: [Exits the cave] All right, okay, fine. You can come in. Just stop screaming that on my doorstep.

[Inside, the brothers are hand-washing an assortment of dishes]

Darwin: I really don't see how this will teach you magic.

Gumball: Uh, duh! It's teaching our hands to make perfect circular motions for spells. Right, Mrs. Jötunheim?

Mrs. Jötunheim: [Off in the distance] Ehh.

Gumball: See?

[The two are now in a corridor, sweeping away some dust]

Darwin: I think she's just using us to get her chores done.

Gumball: Why would she make us sweep the floor, if not to teach us how to fly on a broomstick?

[In the washroom, Gumball and Darwin are fighting to clean a living, monstrous latrine, with toilet brushes]

Darwin: Yeah, I know what you're gonna say. This is teaching us how to wave a wand or something.

Gumball: [Interrupts] Bup-up-up! Sounds like someone needs a little motivational song.

[He uses his brush as an imitation guitar and imitates a riff while rock music plays in the background. During the song, they continue to work through the supernatural variations of otherwise menial tasks]

Lyrics: So you've got a new ambition to become a great magician

But first you must do time for Mrs. Jötunheim

You need to beat away the dust if you want to earn the trust

Of the wizard and the druid, so get out your cleaning fluids

If you wanna a crystal ball, be sure to clean it all

Do your chosen focus to learn the hocus-pocus

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoo

Get down and do the graft to be a master of the craft

You gotta clean the decks if you want to learn the hex

Perfect your washing motion to get good at making potion

Clean the fridge and then the oven to join the witches' coven

You don't wanna be a doctor, a lawyer, or a dentist

You wanna study magic, be a sorcerer's apprentice

If you wanna be a witch, well, here's the sitch

Put in the hours for magical powers!

Magic Misdirection

[Exhausted, Gumball and Darwin decide to rest for a moment. All of a sudden, a strange energy envelopes them both]

Gumball: Wait... I think I can feel something!

Darwin: You're right! I can feel my magic powers growing!

Gumball: The power, it's happening!

[Their muscles bulging, the two develop at an accelerated rate, turning into bearded giants. Laughing all the while, they begin to cast powerful spells with reckless abandon. Meanwhile, back in reality, Mrs. Jötunheim walks in on the brothers spacing out amid the fumes of several spilled cleaning products]

Mrs. Jötunheim: What the?! What are you doing?! [Magically cleans up the mess] You don't have enough brain cells to afford to fry them like that!

Gumball: Wait, what? We haven't learned any magic?

Mrs. Jötunheim: No.

Darwin: What?! Why?!

Mrs. Jötunheim: Because you, uh... haven't finished cleaning the basement.

Gumball & Darwin: Ohh.

[They run off]

Mrs. Jötunheim: [Calling after them] Just don't open the door of forbidden secrets!

[They quickly return]

Gumball: [Prying] Why?

Mrs. Jötunheim: [Bluffing] Well, 'cause it's, uh... really, really... boring?

Gumball: Hmm. [Glares at her suspiciously; Sneezes] Sorry. There's been a lot of dust today. Okay, we won't touch that door.

[Gumball and Darwin leave again, and head down the basement stairs carrying a mop and bucket. After passing by a large, ominous looking door, they stop, and so does the ambient background music. Both of them walk backwards, and the music reverses as well. After some more back-and-forth, the two approach the door]

Gumball: That boring door looks like the most amazing thing I've ever seen. [Reaches for the skull-shaped ring pull]

Darwin: [Angry] What are you doing?! She clearly doesn't want us to go in!

Gumball: [Picks up a cloth] I'm just... polishing the handle. [Opens the door a crack; Sarcastic] Oh, no! It opened by mistake.

[A dark shadow appears on the other side, accompanied by a loud roar. In an instant, Darwin is pulled through the gap, and the door slams shut. Gumball goes upstairs to Mrs. Jötunheim, who is playing an online game on her crystal ball]

Game Voice: Magical!

Gumball: [Nervous] Soo... I've got a question. Do trolls like, uh, normally eat people?

Mrs. Jötunheim: Normally, trolls bait people to make them angry. They feed on people's anger.

[Gumball sighs in relief]

Mrs. Jötunheim: And then they eat them. [Concerned] Wait, please tell me you didn't feed the troll.

Gumball: I... didn't feed the troll?

[The aforementioned creature crashes through the room and makes for the exit]

Gumball: It fed itself... on Darwin.

Mrs. Jötunheim: [Frantic] This is terrible! A troll on the loose, and a missing child! This could lead to... [Hushed] a witch trial!

Gumball: [Scared] You mean with pitchforks and flaming torches?

Mrs. Jötunheim: No, way worse! With lawyers and court fees! And it's my money that's gonna burn.

Gumball: It's okay, I'll help you using the magic you taught me.

Mrs. Jötunheim: Oh yeah, about that...I wasn't training you, I just tricked you into doing my chores.

Gumball: [Gasps] But how?! [Slyly] Was it some kind of magic mind trick?

Mrs. Jötunheim: Nah, just a regular mind trick.

Gumball: [Disappointed] Oh.

Mrs. Jötunheim: Ah, come on. [Hands him a wizard hat] Put this on, it'll give you magic powers. [He puts it on but all the trash he stuffed into it earlier falls on him]

Troll Baiting

[Elsewhere, in Elmore, Mr. Small is casually crossing a bridge over the flood control channel. A deep voice addresses him from somewhere down below]

Troll: Global warming isn't real!

Mister Small​​: [Leans over the railing; Vehement] I'm sorry, but there are scientific proofs that—

Troll: I think you mean, "There is scientific proof." Don't they teach grammar at yoga academy?

Mister Small​​: For your information, yoga is a very physical and noble activity!

Troll: No need to get so excited, hon.

Mister Small​​: [Face turns red] I am a MAN!

Troll: Hard to tell with that voice and that ponytail. You don't have to get all defensive.

Mister Small​​​​​​​​​: I’M NOT BEING DEFENS-

[Mr. Small screams when the troll's hand reaches up to grab him. He is immediately freed by a well-aimed magic missile, which leaves an unusual cloud of smoke upon impact. Mrs. Jötunheim and Gumball ride by on brooms]

Gumball: Lite?

Mrs. Jötunheim: You only have the demo versions of my powers. Every spell you cast has a watermark. Now, you take care of the troll while I erase Mr. Small's memory.

[Mrs. Jötunheim lands on the bridge, using her wand to blow a puff of sparkling green mist at Mr. Small. His eyes turn pink as he coughs, laughs, then falls unconscious. She gives a thumbs-up to Gumball, who is running to the opposite railing. The troll crawls out from under the bridge and stands, towering over him]

Gumball: [Casting a spell] Unexpecto amphibiosis!

[It misses, striking an airplane high in the sky and turning it into a frog]

Mrs. Jötunheim: Aah! What are you doing?!

[She reverses the transformation moments before it hits the ground, and the plane resumes its flightpath directly overhead. The troll narrowly avoids the aircraft, then prepares to strike]

Gumball: Disappeariosis!

[The troll vanishes from sight]

Gumball: Ha! Gotcha!

[A growl shakes the area]

Mrs. Jötunheim: Agh! You didn't make him disappear!

[An unseen attack knocks Mrs. Jötunheim and Gumball off of the bridge and into the channel]

Mrs. Jötunheim: You made him invisible!

[Up ahead, the after-effects of the creature's heavy footsteps draw closer]

Gumball: I think I know where he is. Take this! Electriosis!

[He zaps the troll with lightning, dispelling the invisibility, but fails to take into account the shallow stream of water connecting them. The current travels toward Gumball, and Mrs. Jötunheim shoves him aside]

Mrs. Jötunheim: Watch out!

[She gets electrocuted in his place, and falls forward. The troll tries to crush her with its fist]

Gumball: Uh, T-T-Teleportarion!

[His spell sends Mrs. Jötunheim directly above the troll. Thinking that she had escaped, it tilts back its head and roars, accidentally swallowing her whole]

Gumball: [Gasps] Pacificosus absolutus!

[Now under the effect of a love spell, the troll chases Gumball as he runs away screaming. After apprehending him, it begins to kiss him affectionately]

Gumball: Oh, man!

[Gumball summons a block of ice, which shatters against the trolls face and loosens its grip. They both drop to the ground, opposite each other]

Gumball: Ha! Petrificus! [Notices his magic is gone] Oh, oh no! My hat!

Troll: [Collects the hat] Too late, little man! You got beat. [Rips it in half]

Gumball: [Softly] I think you mean "beaten."

Troll: Ha! You think you can troll a troll? You got a lot to learn.

Gumball: I know. I always thought trolls were like those little porcelain guys on the lawn.

Troll: That's gnomes. You know that's gnomes.

Gumball: Oh, right. You guys are the ones with the lucky charms.

Troll: [Irate] No! That's leprechauns! You're talking about lepre— [Regurgitates Mrs. Jötunheim; Shrinks]

Mrs. Jötunheim: [Lands beside Gumball] You found his weakness! Trolls are only as big as we make them. Keep doing it.

Gumball: Keep doing what?

Mrs. Jötunheim: Being yourself.

Gumball: [Shrugs] Okay. So, if you're a troll, why don't you have an Irish accent and live at the end of a rainbow?

Troll: That's totally leprechauns! Stop doing leprechauns! [Spits out Felicity; Gets smaller]

Gumball: Got it. So the orcs are the ones with the big feet that live in the burrows.

Troll: No! The orcs are the—​​​​​​​ [Proceeds to vomit out Gary, Jeff, and lastly Darwin]

Gumball: Oh, no-no-no-no-no, you're right. Orcas are the panda-looking whales.

Darwin: Ugh! Man, it stank in there! He's disgusting.

Gumball: Actually, elves are quite cute when they're small.

Troll: [Continues shrinking; High-pitched voice] I am not an elf! Would you... Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Darwin: I think we found your talent.

Gumball: What is it?

[The troll diminishes entirely]

Mrs. Jötunheim: You're supernaturally annoying.

[Gumball smiles happily; The episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition