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What Is Going On?!

[Episode starts on the school bus. Gumball is eating an ice cream sundae.]

Gumball: I'm just saying, how did anybody ever name anything? Was some caveman like, [derpy voice, holds up his spoon] "Hey guys! I'm gonna call this thing a spooooon!" and everyone else was like, [derpy voice] "Deal"? There needs to be some logic so you know what stuff is for! I would've called them mouth shovels.

Darwin: Agreed. Like...moths should be called goth butterflies!

Gumball: Beards should be called mouth curtains!

Darwin: Puppies should be called doglets! But what about stuff that doesn't already have a name? Like...that stage you're in when you go to pee-pee in the night but you're still trying to stay asleep so you can go back to bed right away?

Gumball and Darwin: Hmmm.... Sleep-pee-peeing!

[Later, in the music room, Gumball and Darwin are bored]

Gumball: What do you reckon would be your music fish name? Cod Cobain? [They laugh]

Darwin: Lil Whale?

Gumball: Sharkira?

Darwin: Salmon and Carpfunkel? [They laugh again]

[At lunch, in the cafeteria]

Gumball: Dude, this pizza is so frozen I can't tell if that's Parmesan or ice crystals!

Darwin: And this pepperoni is saltier than texting the letter K as a reply!

Gumball: Yeah! And this corn is---[He suddenly freezes.] Dude, I-I can't think of anything!

Darwin: Try harder!

Gumball: Aaaahhhh-- [He freezes again, and a tumbleweed comes out of his mouth.]

Darwin: Okay, I'll try to come up with something to say then. [He inhales, but freezes as well and coughs up a "save file" icon.]

Gumball: Dude.

Gumball and Darwin: WHAT IS GOING ON?!

[That night, they are still trying to come up with something to say, but only end up crumpling themselves up.]

Gumball: One last time. [They try again, but crumple themselves inside out. They start panicking.]

Darwin: Gumball! What's happening to us?!

Gumball: I don't know, man! It's like we've run out of things to say to each other! [They both gasp and a dramatic music sting plays.]

Therapy with Mr. Wilson

[Gumball and Darwin are at Harold Wilson's psychotherapy office. The boys are sitting on a couch, and Harold shows them a picture of a house.]

Harold​: Try to think of your relationship in terms of a house. You need to have strong foundations, ideally with a man-cave. You also need space. Two stories with a screening room for movie night should do, right?

Gumball and Darwin: [uneasily] Yeah...

Harold​: And how about a hot tub for the winter? And a swimming pool for summer!

Gumball and Darwin: [excited] Yeah!

Harold​: Great! [holds out a clipboard] Sign this, please. [Gumball signs] Now, let me talk you through the process. We start with you as you are right now, with a problem. Then we exchange. Then you leave happily. Does that sound good?

Gumball and Darwin: Yeah, I think so!

Harold​: Great! So let's exchange.

Gumball: Well, it seems we've run out of things to say, and--

Harold​: B-b-b-b-bep. I meant exchange my services for your money.

Gumball: Oh, sorry. Yes, of course. [Hands Harold a stack of bills]

Harold​: Very good.

Gumball: So, yeah, this never used to happen to us, but now it's like--

Harold​: And now, goodbye. [He pushes them out of his office]

Gumball: W-wait! What about all that "building a house" stuff?

Harold​: Oh, we're building all right. MY POOL HOUSE! [excitedly holds up the house picture from before] Bye! [dashes back in]

An "Alternative" Approach

[Gumball and Darwin are crossing the street]

Darwin: Okay, what if we try something a little more...off the charts?

Gumball: No. Please. Not him.

Darwin: Look, science'll let us down! We might as well give him a chance.

Gumball: Please. Don't say it!

Darwin: [whispers softly] Alternative...

Gumball: No!

Darwin: [whispers] Alternative medicine. [The ground starts to rumble]

Gumball: Please! NO!

Darwin: [whispers very slowly] Alternative.....medicine.

[A cloud of dust rushes forward, blowing through everything in its path. It's Mr. Small, zooming towards them like a bullet. He dives up and lands right in between them.]

Mister Small​​: Did someone say...alternative medicine?

[The three are now sitting on yoga mats in a grassy patch by the forest.]

Mister Small​​: So, you're saying you have no wind in your sails.

Darwin: Yes.

Mister Small​​: The train won't leave the station.

Darwin: Yes.

Mister Small​​: The goose is stuck in the hammock.

Darwin: Yes....?

Mister Small​​: The potato is wedged in your tailpipe.

Darwin: I'm not sure what we're talking about anymore.

Mister Small​​: You've got trouble talking.

Darwin: '[sighs] Yes.

Mister Small​​: Hmm...I see. I think we need to release the holisticness of your third eye chakras in order to boost your auras and stimulate the flow of chi to your tongue.

Darwin: What does that mean?

Mister Small​​: [off-screen]' It means this.

[Gumball and Darwin are now covered in acupuncture needles and surrounded by healing crystals. Smoke is coming off of them.]

Mister Small​​: How do you feel?

Gumball: Like I got punctured two hundred times and set on fire.

Mister Small​​: I meant between the two of you.

Gumball: Uh-a...ugh.. No.. Still got nothing to say to him.

Darwin: Me neither.

Gumball: Wait. Wait! I can feel something coming!

Darwin: Yeah! Me too! It's like my tongue is tingling!

[They open their mouths eagerly, expecting to say something, but after a long period of time, their tongues rapidly inflate.]

Gumball: [muffled] Mr. Small! What's going on?

Mister Small​: Hmm. That's really weird. I've done this procedure three times before and all my other patients had exactly the same result. What are the odds? [Gumball starts panicking] But don't panic, their lives went back to normal very quickly. [The two sigh in relief] Once they accepted that this was their life now.

[Cut to Gumball and Darwin at night, walking out of a shady "doctor's office" in an alleyway, looking scarred.]

Gumball: You know, Darwin? As that backstreet doctor was finally draining the excess fluid out of our screaming faces using that grease-coated bicycle pump, I had an eye-opening moment.

Darwin: Tell me about it. My eyes are still popping out in shock.

Gumball: No, I mean that man had no diploma. He was just pretending to be a doctor.

Darwin: So?

Gumball: [getting an idea] So what if we pretended too?

Keeping It Interesting

[The next afternoon. Gumball and Darwin are walking down the sidewalk]

Darwin: I don't get it!

Gumball: Well, you know how we can't keep up with conversa.....

Darwin: Yeah, it goes limper than an animator's handshake. [His leg is erased off and he falls down]

Gumball: Exactly. But what if it wasn't us doing the talking?

Darwin: What do you mean?

[Cut to the two in their bedroom, both on laptops]

Gumball: Roleplaying! If it works for fedora wizards in some basement, why not us?

Darwin: Who are you gonna be, then?

Gumball: I'm Akane Ryuuku. A shy anime kawaii girl who likes corgis and friendship. [Shows his profile]

Darwin: Okay, let's go. [He starts typing as his character, Sleve McDichael] Hey!

Gumball: [as Akane, reading what he is typing] Oh...H-hey. I'm Akane-chan. I'm not used to talk to people. Heh-heh! Asterisk, blushes and turns away.

Darwin: [as Sleve McDichael] Congratulations! You've win E-phone black edition!

Gumball: [as Akane] Sugoi! Thank you, Sleve McDichael sempai! It's the first time someone makes Akane-chan a present. Asterisk, looks away all flustered. You want to be friends with Akane?

Darwin: [as Sleve McDichael] What? My message not going through? [sends a link] Chat with me now and win dollars, dollars, dollars!

Gumball: What?!

Darwin: Click link and talk!

[Gumball shrugs and clicks the link, but it opens an influx of viruses. His laptop starts snapping at him and then explodes.]

Gumball: DUDE!! WHAT THE WHAT WERE YOU ROLEPLAYING?!

Darwin: [innocently] A bot!

Gumball: [with large anime eyes] So even Akane's conversation wasn't real? Asterisk, bashes head on wall in anguish! [He does so] Asterisk, and realize it hurts more in real life than in writing! [flops over]

[Later, they are eating. They both try to come up with something, but fail once again. Nicole walks up to Richard, who is lying on the couch.]

Nicole:

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[as Sleve McDichael]

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