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A Rumor About Marriage[]

[The episode starts inside the bathroom. No one is inside, but everything starts to collapse including a cabinet spinning from a driller and falling off, revealing a punctured gas pipe. Cut to the outside of the bathroom where Richard and Louie are hanging a picture]  
Richard: [Finishes hanging a picture of the family vacation] There. 
Louie: That was a great vacation. Florida was really good for my joints.
Richard: Hmm. But not for my skin. [Richard peels off the red part of his skin and eats it] Tastes like my bath water.
Louie: You need to stop eating things that aren't food. And also eat less food.
Richard: Thank you, Louie. You know, I never had anyone to share that kind of profound wisdom with me.
Louie: It's called survival instinct, and it comes right after breathing without concentrating.
Richard: What I mean is I hope you won't mind if I call you Dad! [he hugs Louie]
Louie: Well, since this is already awkward, it's a good time to tell you that your mother and I want to marry and move to Florida.
Richard: [muffled] What? Really? [starts clenching his teeth]
Louie: How do you feel about it?
Richard: It's [Face turns red, clenches teeth furiously until sparks came out] great!
Louie: I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd take it like an adult. I expected some kind of explosion. Are you sure you're okay with it?
Richard: I'm fine.
[The sparks which came from Richard's clenching teeth reacts with the leaking gas pipe ignites an explosion, the mailbox’s face goes from happy to frightened, and Louie is blasted outside. Granny Jojo opens the front door]
Granny Jojo: How'd it go?
Louie: Well, at least he didn't say no.
[Back inside the house, everything and Richard is now burnt and dusty. Gumball, Darwin, and Anais, who are all burnt and dusty from Richard's explosion, go upstairs to see Richard]
Gumball: Ah, so Louie told you.
Richard: [muffled, still clenching his teeth]
Gumball: What?
[Darwin opens Richard's mouth with a crowbar]
Richard: I said, I WILL NOT LET THIS MAN STEAL MY MOTHER!
Darwin: Come on, Mr. Dad, try to adopt a different attitude and be happy for Louie.
Richard: Hmm...Dad...try...adopt...Louie. Dad adopt Louie...
Gumball: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Richard: DAD ADOPT LOUIE!
Gumball: No! We won't let you become Louie's dad so you have the power to forbid his wedding!
Richard: Huh, thanks. I had no idea where I was going with that.
[The kids slap their faces with their hands except for Darwin, who slaps his face with the crowbar and faints from the impact]

Adoption of Louie[]

Nicole: One for Mr. Finklehimer.
[Richard walks into The Wattersons' dining room while Nicole is making a guest list. He then falls down, and comes back up]
Richard: Sooo, what are you guys up to?
Nicole: Making a guest list for the wedding.
Richard: Oh, can I see?
[Clearly swaps the guest list for the adoption form and hands it to Louie while everyone watches in confusion]
Richard: Whoops, Louie, you forgot your name on the guest list.
Gumball: Hmmm, something smells fishy...
[Darwin smells his arm]
Anais: No, not you, those adoption papers.
[Richard is seen with an evil grin watching Granny Jojo and Louie]
Gumball: No, no, no, don't!
[Richard takes the adoption form from Louie and rips his shirt off]
Richard: Ha ha! Those papers you just signed mean you're now officially my son! Now as your father, I hereby forbid you from marrying my mother! [Everyone gasps. Richard starts to sing and dance] Boom! I'm number one! Boom! You are my son! Boom! I'm number one! Boom!
Granny Jojo: How dare you!
Louie: You should be ashamed!
Richard: Tut tut tut. I think it's time to go to bed, son.
Louie: Are you kidding me?! I'm a seventy-two-year-old man! Who was raised with traditional values to always obey his father. Goodnight, sir.

Louie's Adopting Decision[]

[Louie is attempting to climb a ladder to the top bunk of Gumball's bed]
Gumball: Alright, you can crash with me in the lower bunk.
Louie: Ahh, thanks, kid. [puts dentures in Darwin's fishbowl]
Darwin: [About to speak but decides not to]
Gumball: I know, Louie, it's messed up. You were supposed to be our grandpa, but now you're our adopted brother, which makes your bride your grandma and your future daughter-in-law your mother.
Louie: Hmm... Louie... adopt... mother, Louie adopts mother! LOUIE ADOPTS MOTHER! Ha! Ha ha ha ha!
Anais: Wow, he really cherry-picked what he wanted out of that sentence.

Adoption of Nicole[]

[Louie is outside with Nicole, who is near the laundry]
Louie: Hi, Nicole- I, I mean Mom. Gosh, this is so weird.
Nicole: I know, let's just try and roll with it, sweetheart.
[Nicole pats Louie on the head, only to wipe her hand off on her skirt after]
Louie: So, since I'm one of your children I guess I have to sign up for school again. Here's the form.
Nicole: Let's just get this over with so we can go shudder somewhere else, separately.
Louie: Oh, hey, can I borrow this shirt?
Nicole: Sure.
Louie: Thank you.
[Louie takes a shirt from the hanging laundry, puts it on, and immediately rips it off]
Louie: Aha! Those adoption forms now make you my daughter! And if I'm not allowed to see Jojo, then I forbid you to see Richard! Boom! [Louie then dances away singing] I have just caught ya! You are my daughter! Even though I'm shorter! Oh, look, a quarter! [As he tries to grab the quater off-screen, a crackling sound can be heard] Ow, my hip disorder!
Nicole: You're my dad now? How does that work?

The Watterson Family Tree[]

[Anais is showing her family the family tree]
Anais: It's simple. Dad adopted Louie and Louie adopted Mom. So Mom is married to her own grandfather, and he's not allowed to see her. Which is why he's wearing a bag over his head.
Gumball: Wait, if Mom is now the daughter of our brother, Louie, does that mean she's our niece?
Nicole: I guess I am, Gumball.
Gumball: Actually, it's Uncle Gumball, which makes me more powerful than you. So GO CLEAN MY ROOM!
Nicole: Nieces don't traditionally clean their uncle's rooms, that's not a thing.
Gumball: It's not about tradition, [Deep, evil voice] IT'S ABOUT POWER!
Darwin: So, wait a sec, if you get more power the higher you are up the family tree, doesn't that mean the most powerful person in the family is-
Granny Jojo: Me.
Anais: Not really because you're also our brother Louie's fiancee.
Gumball: Which makes you half our sister-in-law.
Darwin: Which means the most powerful person in the family is Frankie Watterson.
Granny Jojo: Frankie Watterson's nothing but a conman and shyster!
Richard: Don't talk about my father like that!
Granny Jojo: What kind of father goes out for milk and stays gone for thirty-three years?!
Richard: Well maybe he's still looking for the perfect carton of milk because he loves me more than your mother-stealing boyfriend!
Louie: That's no way to talk about your son!
Nicole: Well, if my new dad hadn't stopped me from seeing my husband, I could work things out with him!
[Nicole, Granny Jojo, and Louie are all attacking each other]
Darwin: Guys! We have to do something! I don't know who I am anymore, everyone is fighting, and it turns out sharing a room with a very old man isn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be!
Anais: You thought sharing a room with a very old man would be fun?
Richard: You'll never be my dad! Frankie is my dad!
Gumball: Never, Is, Can't, Your, Be?
Anais: We find Frankie Watterson, get him to adopt Dad, and become his legal father again. That way, Frankie will be the head of the family and we can get back to normal.
Gumball: I was getting there!
Anais: No, you weren't.
[The screen is going closer up and closer up to Frankie's space on the family tree]

Home for Frankie[]

[Cut to Frankie Watterson's first person perspective, where he is sitting on the sofa eating a bowl of brown mush while watching TV. Some repo men start taking stuff out of his house, including his TV and table.]
Frankie: Oh, come on, guys, give me a break!
Goblin: Should've paid the rent!
Frankie: That TV isn't even worth twenty bucks!
[More repo men appear on screen taking more stuff, including the actual window, his food and the sofa]
Frankie: What are you going to do with the curtains and the window? Come on. I hope you choke on that! Fine, take the couch, I'll find some schmoe to fleece.
[Frankie picks up a newspaper and looks through the classified section, where he finds an ad asking about his whereabouts]
Frankie: Hmm... looking for the information on the whereabouts of Frankie Watterson. Your family needs you Frankie. Come home. Frankie...home. Home for Frankie, home for Frankie- OH, COME ON!
[The repo men take the newspaper out of Frankie's hands, revealing that they literally took the entire house away from Frankie]

Frankie and Richard Reunite[]

[Frankie rings the doorbell to the Watterson home as Anais opens the door for him. The children gasp as the camera reveals Frankie's true appearance]
Frankie: Uh, hey.
Gumball, Darwin and Anais: Dad!
Richard: What?
Louie: What?
Darwin: What?
Gumball: You're not a dad.
Darwin: Sorry, it's been a confusing day.
Anais: Dad, look who we found!
[Richard takes the paper bag off his head, sees his father and gasps]
Frankie: Son?
[They now start running to each other looking like they will hug but at the last moment Richard grabs Frankie's shirt]
Richard: How could you do this to me? Thirty-three years and you come back into my house without that carton of milk?
[Richard now starts sobbing uncontrollably as his father comforts him]
Frankie: Uh, good to see you too, Richard.
Granny Jojo: What are you doing here, you dirty rat?
Gumball: We asked him to come to adopt Dad so he can become his father again.
Richard: Is it true? Do you want to be my dad again?
Frankie: Yes, son. I'm here to make things right. Look, I brought a contract. Does anybody have a pen?
[Darwin hands Frankie a pen]
Frankie: Thanks! Who- uh- whatever you are.
Darwin: Oh, I'm Nicole's uncle. But I used to be a pet.
Frankie: All you have to do is sign here, son. [Richard signs the papers and hands them back. Frankie takes a yellow sheet of paper from behind] The yellow copy is for your records.
Richard: [Takes the yellow paper from Frankie] Awesome! We're a complete family again. What's going on? Where's dad? Why is his shirt on the floor?
Granny Jojo: Let me see that: these aren't adoption papers. "I, Richard Watterson, hereby sign over the deeds to the house to the oldest Watterson." That's Frankie! He's gonna take the house!
[All fall to their knees and wail.]
Anais: But if Louie marries Granny Jojo first and takes her name, he'll be the oldest Watterson!
Gumball: Then he can give the house back to us!
All: Yay!
Anais: We need to get to the town hall now!
Gumball: One more before we go?
All: Yay!
Gumball: Okay, let's go.

Getting the House Back[]

[Car crashes in front of the Town Hall]
Donut Cop: Hey, you can't park here!
[Richard pushes the car away. The Wattersons are then seen inside Town Hall]
Nicole: Which line do we take for a marriage licence?
Paper Woman: You need the line for people who don't know what line they need.
Gumball: We don't have time for that!
Paper Woman: This is the kingdom of bureaucracy. Everything happens in its own time. Usually too late.
[They all run to a line. Camera zooms in to Frankie and Gumball's faces. Cowboy exits the Wattersons' line and they move up]
Granny Jojo: You should be ashamed of yourself!
Frankie: I'm sorry, Joanna, I'm desperate!
[Mr. Small leaves Frankie's line, and everyone moves up]
Darwin: But it's our home!
Frankie: If they can buy one, they can buy another!
[Gary exits the Wattersons' line, everyone moves up]
Richard: How could you do this to your own son?
Frankie: I'm sorry but that's how it- [Principal Brown leaves Frankie's line, everyone moves up] is.
Nicole: Gumball, do something!
[Gumball hits Frankie.]
Frankie: What was that?
Gumball: This is the kingdom of bureaucracy, everything happens in its own time.
[Frankie's line moves, but he flails around and hits a rack of papers]
Nicole: We're here to get a marriage licence!
Cupcake Man: Uh huh, one minute. [Goes on his computer.]
Nicole: Are you playing solitaire? [Cupcake Man sighs and clicks off solitaire. A meow can be heard from his computer] I can hear you watching cat videos.
[Cupcake Man's computer than makes some "message delivered" noises]
Gumball: What the?! That's the sound of Elmore Plus messenger!
Cupcake Man: No, it's not. [Quietly] Hashtag job for life.
[Nicole smashes her head through the glass.]
Nicole: Then hashtag make hashtag sure hashtag you HASHTAG STAY ALIVE TO HASHTAG ENJOY IT!!!
Cupcake Man: That's not how hashtags work.
[Nicole hisses at him, and a Xenomorph-like inner jaw pops out of her mouth]
Cupcake Man: It's the line on the left, get this stamped. [Gives Nicole the marriage license. The Wattersons then walk slowly away from the desk]
Gumball: Wait, shouldn't we be running? [Intense music starts playing] Ah, that's better.
[They start running.]
Richard: It's blocked!
Nicole: This goes nowhere! We're literally caught in a labyrinth of red tape!
Gumball: This way!
[Starts running towards Frankie, but Frankie ties the red tape, causing them to stop.]
Frankie: Sorry, guys, I don't have a choice.
[Richard looks sadly at Frankie, causing him to flashback when he was just a kid and Frankie leaving him. Frankie looks at him.]
Karen: Sir? Sir? Sir, are you in line?
Frankie: No. Actually, I think I've been out of line my whole life. I, uh.. I can't do this. [Pulls back to red tape blocking the Wattersons]
Granny Jojo: He's having a moment of humanity... Quick, let's take advantage of his weakness!
[The Wattersons run up to Karen with the papers and set them down]
Richard: Stamp these!
Karen: [Stamps marriage license] Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Watterson!
[Everyone starts cheering and Richard notices Frankie walking away.]
Richard: [Stammering] D-Dad? Wait, Dad! [Runs up to Frankie] I want you to sign this.
Frankie: [Takes papers from Richard and signs them] Oh, you got a restraining order, huh?
Richard: No, [Takes papers back from Frankie] adoption papers. I want my dad back.
[They both rip off their shirts.]
Richard and Frankie: We are family! [They try to think of something to finish the rhyme, but can't] Nothing rhymes with family!
All: We are family, nothing rhymes with family!
[Episode ends.]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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