In the Library
- [Alan, Gumball, and Darwin are browsing the internet. Gumball eats some chips noisily while they do this]
- Darwin: Shh!
- [Gumball tries to chew slowly and quietly, and Darwin shakes his head. He continues chewing, then tries to swallows as silent as possible. Just as Darwin continues browsing, Gumball opens a bottle of soda with a hiss. He glares at his brother, and the latter again tries to open the bottle slowly and quietly]
- Gumball: [To bottle] Shh! [Drinks]
- Darwin: [Quietly] Dude. You're not allowed to bring food into the library! You might damage one of the computers!
- Gumball: [Mockingly] Oh, no! Scary drink! What would happen if I spilled it? [To computer] Ooooooh!
- [He threatens to spill some soda on their computer]
- Gumball: [Normal voice] What do you take me for? Some kind of klu—uhh! [Slips on chair]
- [He slams his head into the computer, and causes it to burst into flames. He and Darwin scream silently. Gumball motions to his soda, but Darwin shakes his head. He dumps his soda on the flames anyway, and this makes the fire to go out. But the soda electrocutes the computer monitor, and starts another fire. The duo scream silently again, and Gumball takes a fire extinguisher. He tries to put out the fire by literally beating the fire with the extinguisher, and this makes the computer explode and stop burning. The explosion is heard by the Librarian]
- Gumball: [Grabs Darwin] Dude! I'm a goner! The Librarian is gonna hang me, quarter me, roast me, feed me to the dogs, pick up the pieces, rebuild me, and… and say really mean things to me!
- Darwin: Dude, calm down. The Librarian is pretty chill. She'll understand it was an accident.
- [The Librarian shows up behind them, growling like an alligator, on the other side of the room]
- Librarian: Who… did... THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSS??!! [Screams and charges at them frantically]
- [Gumball and Darwin brace themselves. Alan suddenly stands in their way]
- Alan: It was I.
- Librarian: Detention!
- Gumball: Dude, why?
- [Alan turns around with a saintly face]
- Alan: It's okay. [Gets pulled away]
Testing Alan
- [From the hallway, Gumball and Darwin watch as Alan takes the blame for them in the principal's office. Principal Brown, Miss Simian, and the Librarian shout at him while he sheds a tear down his saintly face]
- Gumball: Dude, why would he do that?
- Darwin: Because he's pure! That's not even the nicest thing he's done! Remember the swimming pool?
- [Flashback. Tobias is unconscious by the pool with a group of students gathered around him]
- Teri: Somebody help! Who knows CPR?!
- [Alan barges into the pool]
- Alan: I do.
- [He puts his end on Tobias's mouth, and pushes some of the air inside him into Tobias]
- Alan: Come on! Come ON!
- [He continues to do this, and in the process deflates himself slowly]
- Teri: But, Alan, what about you?!
- Alan: There are more important things than me.
- [He strains, and completely deflates himself. Tobias wakes up, inhales deeply, and grabs Alan]
- Tobias: [High-pitched] I will never forget this, Alan! [Cries on Alan's body]
- [The flashback ends with Gumball and Darwin shivering]
- Gumball: He was so disgustingly nice, I threw up puppies for days. But you know what? I bet he isn't really that nice! Everyone has a breaking point, and I'm gonna prove it to you!
- [Darwin frowns at his brother]
- Darwin: Why on earth would you want to do that?
- Gumball: For science! And because the people deserve to know! And because I got nothing else to do today. [Walks away]
- [Scene skips to Alan thumbs-upping every post on Elmore Plus. Gumball and Darwin watch him with their faces sandwiched through books]
- Gumball: For a dude with no thumbs, he sure does give a lot of thumbs-up.
- Alan: Well, it doesn't cost anything, and it might just buy someone a smile.
- Gumball: [Evil voice and eyes] I will break you!
- Alan: What?
- [Gumball and Darwin drop their "disguises"]
- Gumball: Someone over there needs your help for like two minutes.
- Alan: Always happy to help!
- Gumball: Alan? Make it three.
- Alan: [Laughs] You got it!
- Gumball: Right. [Goes to computer] What status update will ruin his life? [Laughs] I know. [Types] "Oh, my gosh! Why are there so many drawn people in Elmore? Go back to your flat country and stop ruining our economy!" [Updates status] Nobody likes a two-Dist.
- [The status update immediately receives so much thumbs-down that the screen overflows with them. Alan returns]
- Gumball: Oh, Alan! So, did you help 'em?
- Alan: Everyone was okay, but I made them even more okay!
- [Alan gets pummeled by thumbs-down icons being launched from the computer]
- Alan: [Confused] What happened?!
- Gumball: I just assassinated your social life. What are you gonna do about it?
- [Alan glares at them as there is a ominous tolling bell ring, and goes menacingly near Gumball. But he kisses Gumball, and pulls his "saintly" face]
- Alan: Thank you. Now I get a chance to befriend them all again. [Flies away]
- Gumball: I WILL BREAK YOU, MAN! No one's this nice! NO ONE! Because if they were, I'd have to ask some very difficult questions about myself!
Framed
- [The bell rings, and the scene cuts to the Watterson duo in the yard. Darwin is drawing on a balloon that looks exactly like Alan]
- Darwin: What does Alan look like again?
- Gumball: He's got this cheesy, noble expression all the time, like this.
- [Gumball rubs his face, and creates a perfect replica of Alan's face. He also imitates the music that plays when Alan does the face]
- Gumball: Make sure you get it exactly right. Don't forget any details.
- Darwin: [Draws] Okay, I think it's done!
- [Darwin shows his work. He not only draws the face, but Gumball doing it in the schoolyard. Gumball scowls at him]
- Darwin: What? You said, "don't forget any details."
- [Gumball grabs Darwin's face, and puts it on the balloon]
- Gumball: That'll have to do.
- Darwin: What's this for, anyway?
- [Gumball does an evil laugh, and his brother laughs along, albeit nervously]
- Darwin: Why are we-- w-why are we laughing?
- [Gumball continues his evil laughter]
- Darwin: Well, whatever it is, it sounds like it's gonna be a fun surprise!
- [The scene cuts to the principal's office. Carmen and Alan are both sitting in front of Principal Brown's desk]
- Carmen: Principal Brown, is there a reason you wanted to see us?
- Gumball: [Accented] Yes, but I'm not Principal Brown.
- [Gumball turns around to face them. His chair continues wheeling around]
- Gumball: That's right, it's me.
- [The chair's backrest pushes Gumball, and he quickly pushes it away, accidentally knocks a cup of coffee, pencils, and papers down and composes himself]
- Gumball: [Clears throat and slides file] Open it. [Carmen grabs the file]
- Carmen: [Deadpans] It's a prescription for butt cream?
- [Gumball nervously replaces it with the right file. Carmen lets out a big gasp at what she sees, and Alan becomes shocked]
- Gumball: Yes. I'm afraid Alan's been cheating on you...with everyone-- and I mean everyone-- and everything.
- [Carmen sees photos of "Alan" (Darwin's face on a teal balloon) kissing Carrie, Teri, Jamie, Tobias, Banana Joe, Leslie, and a toilet bowl]
- Darwin: [Wipes lips]
- Carmen: [To Alan, angrily] What have you got to say for yourself?!
- Alan: Uh…
- Gumball: Yes, Alan. What do you have to say for yourself?
- Carmen: Come on! I can take it!
- Alan: I… I…
- Carmen: Where does this leave us?! What am I supposed to think?!
- Alan: Carmen, I love you too much to tell you how to feel.
- Carmen: Well, I'll tell you how to feel!
- [She gets up, and walks to the door]
- Carmen: Single! [Slams door]
- Gumball: [To Darwin] Any minute now.
- [Alan has a shocked and confused expression]
- Gumball: Here it comes.
- Alan: [Makes the face] Gumball, I'm not angry with you, because when you truly love someone, you have to know--
- Gumball: WHY- [Bangs head on table] CAN'T [Bangs head on table and develops a purple eye] I [Bangs head on table] MAKE [Bangs head on table] YOU ANGRY?! [Collapses]
The Last Meatball
- [In the cafeteria, the scene skips to Alan finishing his spaghetti meal]
- Alan: [Singing] I'm eating spaghetti and meatballs. But I'm saving the meatballs till last!
- [From the far corridor, Gumball comes in]
- Alan: Now it's time for the very last meatball-
- [Gumball runs, and grabs his last meatball]
- Gumball: Ha ha! Oh, no! I stole the last meatball! Mmm! [Rubs it over his face] It tastes so good 'cause it's the only one left! MMM! The secret ingredient is your despair!
- [Gumball laughs, then eats the meatball, taunting Alan all the while]
- Alan: But I always save the best part of my meal for someone who deserves it more than I. I wanted you to have it for being such a great friend.
- [Gumball goes mad, and starts acting like Miss Simian]
In the Classroom
- [Gumball holds a tape, and he stands next to a TV with Darwin]
- Gumball: Am I going too far?
- Darwin: No no no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
- Alan: So, what's the surprise?! I can barely contain myself! [Squeaks excitedly]
- Gumball: I sold your parents.
- Alan: What?!
- Gumball: I said, "I sold your parents."
- [He puts on the tape, and it shows the creepy clown entertaining some kids]
- Clown: Now, who wants to see balloon tricks? [Grabs Jessica]
- Jessica: No! Please! I have a son! [Gets twisted] Dexter, make it stop!
- Dexter: JESSICA!
- [The clown continues, and makes her into an animal. He proceeds to twist Dexter. Alan is smiling nervously]
- Gumball: Dude, how can you be smiling at this?!
- Alan: Look at the happiness they're bringing to those children. It's beautiful. Also, they're balloons, you know. It's not that bad.
- [Gumball and Darwin gape at him]
- Dexter: They've made me into a hat!
Alan's Secret to Life
- [Outside the school, Gumball breathes close to Alan. Then he grabs him, and bang heads together. While this happens, Alan squeaks]
- Gumball: HOW CAN YOU NOT BE ANGRY AFTER ALL I'VE DONE TO YOU?! [Gasps] After all I've done to you. I made you lose all your friends, your girlfriend, sold your parents. Even worse, I ate your last meatball -- all of this to prove you can be just as bad as me? Could it be that… that… that I was wrong?
- Darwin: IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION?!
- Gumball: Oh, thanks, man. I almost doubted myself there.
- Darwin: [Sighs]
- Alan: The secret is to stay positive. You know, Gumball, when a man says "yes" to life, life says "yes" to him.
- Hobo: Hey, kid, you want to buy this popsicle? I just found it on the sidewalk.
- Alan: Yes! [Pays] Here's twenty dollars!
- Rosie: Do you want to swap your popsicle for my balloons?
- Alan: Yes! [Untangles balloons, the balloons turn out to be his parents] Mom! Dad!
- [They hug, then his parents fly away]
- Hobo: [Comes back, rich] Here's the kind young guy who was the only one to help me out. [Hands briefcase full of money] Here's the twenty dollars I owe you. With interest, that comes to twenty million.
- [As he leaves, Carrie and Sarah go to Alan, and touch him affectionately]
- Carmen: GET OFF MY MAN!
- [Carmen tosses Sarah away, and Carrie floats away]
- Carmen: Do you still love me, Alan?
- Alan: [Laughs] Yes!
- Carmen: [Holds up container with lots of meatballs] Then have some of these meatballs I prepared for you.
- Alan: Yes. ["Eats" meatball]
- Alan and Carmen: I love you. [Walk away together]
- Gumball and Darwin: UH-
- [Gumball rubs his eyes while they're still open, then yelps in pain]
- Darwin: Dude, what did you expect? You just rubbed your bare eyeballs with your fists.
- Gumball: We've been living our lives wrong all this time! From now on, we say yes to everything!
In Elmore Hospital
- Twitchy Scientist: Thank you for agreeing to do this highly experimental testing! Are you sure that you want to go ahead with it?
- Gumball and Darwin: Yes?
- Twitchy Scientist: [Grabs serum] I'm not gonna lie to you. We found these in the back of the fridge. If you're worried about the taste, I can always inject it! What do you say?!
- [The scene shows the outside of their room.]
- Gumball and Darwin: [screaming] YES!!!
- [It cuts to Gumball on a bed, horribly mutated]
- Gumball: [Muffled] I don't feel so good.
- Darwin: Yeah.
- Gumball: What?
- [Darwin is shown, even more disfigured than Gumball is]
- Darwin: [Coughs gas] Me, neither.
- Twitchy Scientist: [Walks in] Thanks, guys! I'll file those under "Never try this again."
- Gumball and Darwin: Yay.
Saving the Pigeons
- [Gumball and Darwin walk across the streets, then encounter Mr. Small]
- Mister Small: Hey, do you kids want to do something for charity?
- [Gumball and Darwin look at each other]
- Gumball and Darwin: Yes.
- [The scene skips to them up in the air, in a plane with a banner that says "SAVE THE PIGEONS" on it. The two are dressed as pigeons]
- Gumball: What charity is this for again?
- Mister Small: "Save the pigeons!" I made the costumes myself. Pretty cool, huh? Although the parachutes are rated for slightly lighter people. Is that gonna be okay?
- Gumball and Darwin: [Anxiously] Yes.
- Mister Small: Good. [Kicks them off]
- Gumball: Quick -- pull!
- [They pull their parachutes only to find that they are too small to carry them. Gumball and Darwin plunge directly to the ground]
- Gumball: At least we saved some pigeons!
- Mister Small: [Lands with larger parachute] Oh, no, no, no. We raised awareness of the cause. We didn't actually save any.
- Gumball: [Groans] Wait. Who's flying the plane?
- [The plane crashes into a building]
Saving a Stranger
- Gumball: Dude, this isn't working! We said "yes" to everything, and has anything good happened?!
- [On the sidewalk across them, Tony suddenly collapses, and his face turns red]
- Mr. Russo: Is there a doctor in the street?
- Book Doctor: I am a doctor… of literature.
- Soap Opera Doctor: I'm a doctor… in a soap opera!
- Twitchy Scientist: I was a doctor!
- Mr. Russo: Is there an actual doctor in the street?
- Gumball: [To Darwin] No.
- Darwin: But he needs us!
- Gumball: Okay. We'll help him -- but only after we study medicine for seven years.
- Darwin: But he needs us now!
- Gumball: I am not putting my hand on the slimy gizzard of some stranger!
- Darwin: But what if we save his life, he lives, wins the lottery, and we end up with our own jetpacks, wearing pants made out of white tiger skin while eating unobtanium in a house made of crystal?!
- Mr. Russo: Please, is there a doctor in the street?!
- Gumball and Darwin: [Inhale] Yes!
- [The scene switches to the Watterson's house, now a mound with large crystals embedded in it. Gumball (with blonde hair) and Darwin (with brown hair) live out their life, flying with jet packs while wearing pants made out of tiger skin and eating unobtanium. They toast their unobtanium together]
- Gumball: Dude, this is amazing!
- Darwin: It's everything we ever wanted!
- [They laugh, and toast again]
- Gumball: I hate it.
- Darwin: I know, right? I feel like I've got something heavy in the pit of my stomach.
- Gumball: That'll be the unobtanium. The problem is, when you have everything, you have nothing left to complain about. I think I liked it better when life was crummy.
- Darwin: Let's get back to the way we were.
- [They unstrap their jet packs, and fall down]
Saint Alan
- [In the school hallway, Gumball walks to Alan, depressed. His paws squeak the floor. Alan closes his locker]
- Gumball: I'm sorry for trying to break you, Alan. I should have known it was impossible. But I learned a lot about myself -- mostly that I'm a disgusting person and you're a better man than me. So, yeah. Thanks for that.
- Alan: [Makes face] What's important is that you stay true to yourself.
- [Gumball grunts in irritation, then sighs and walks away. His squeaks suddenly make Alan angry]
- Alan: AAH! Can you please stop making that noise?!
- Gumball: [Surprised] What?
- Alan: Dragging your feet! It's grating!
- Gumball: [Amused] Oh, but I don't understand. You mean this? [Squeaks floor]
- Alan: [Yells] STOP IT, YOU JERK!
- Gumball: YES! Ha ha! I finally dragged you down to my level! I knew you could be broken! Oh, I feel so much better about myself. I gotta go tell Darwin!
- [Gumball runs off, and Alan screams in rage. Then Alan calms down, smiles, and makes his face again]
- Alan: [Whispering] Whatever makes you happy, my friend.
- [Alan squeaks, and the episode ends]
v • e Transcript |
---|
Episode 1 The DVD |
Episode 2 The Responsible |
Episode 3 The Third |
Episode 4 The Debt |
Episode 5 The End |
Episode 6 The Dress |
Episode 7 The Quest |
Episode 8 The Spoon |
Episode 9 The Pressure |
Episode 10 The Painting |
Episode 11 The Laziest |
Episode 12 The Ghost |
Episode 13 The Mystery |
Episode 14 The Prank |
Episode 15 The Gi |
Episode 16 The Kiss |
Episode 17 The Party |
Episode 18 The Refund |
Episode 19 The Robot |
Episode 20 The Picnic |
Episode 21 The Goons |
Episode 22 The Secret |
Episode 23 The Sock |
Episode 24 The Genius |
Episode 25 The Poltergeist |
Episode 26 The Mustache |
Episode 27 The Date |
Episode 28 The Club |
Episode 29 The Wand |
Episode 30 The Ape |
Episode 31 The Car |
Episode 32 The Curse |
Episode 33 The Microwave |
Episode 34 The Meddler |
Episode 35 The Helmet |
Episode 36 The Fight |
Episode 1 The Remote |
Episode 2 The Colossus |
Episode 3 The Knights |
Episode 4 The Fridge |
Episode 5 The Flower |
Episode 6 The Banana |
Episode 7 The Phone |
Episode 8 The Job |
Episode 9 Halloween |
Episode 10 The Treasure |
Episode 11 The Apology |
Episode 12 The Words |
Episode 13 The Skull |
Episode 14 The Bet |
Episode 15 Christmas |
Episode 16 The Watch |
Episode 17 The Bumpkin |
Episode 18 The Flakers |
Episode 19 The Authority |
Episode 20 The Virus |
Episode 21 The Pony |
Episode 22 The Hero |
Episode 23 The Dream |
Episode 24 The Sidekick |
Episode 25 The Photo |
Episode 26 The Tag |
Episode 27 The Storm |
Episode 28 The Lesson |
Episode 29 The Game |
Episode 30 The Limit |
Episode 31 The Voice |
Episode 32 The Promise |
Episode 33 The Castle |
Episode 34 The Boombox |
Episode 35 The Tape |
Episode 36 The Sweaters |
Episode 37 The Internet |
Episode 38 The Plan |
Episode 39 The World |
Episode 40 The Finale |
Episode 1 The Kids |
Episode 2 The Fan |
Episode 3 The Coach |
Episode 4 The Joy |
Episode 5 The Puppy |
Episode 6 The Recipe |
Episode 7 The Name |
Episode 8 The Extras |
Episode 9 The Gripes |
Episode 10 The Vacation |
Episode 11 The Fraud |
Episode 12 The Void |
Episode 13 The Boss |
Episode 14 The Move |
Episode 15 The Law |
Episode 16 The Allergy |
Episode 17 The Mothers |
Episode 18 The Password |
Episode 19 The Procrastinators |
Episode 20 The Shell |
Episode 21 The Burden |
Episode 22 The Bros |
Episode 23 The Mirror |
Episode 24 The Man |
Episode 25 The Pizza |
Episode 26 The Lie |
Episode 27 The Butterfly |
Episode 28 The Question |
Episode 29 The Saint |
Episode 30 The Friend |
Episode 31 The Oracle |
Episode 32 The Safety |
Episode 33 The Society |
Episode 34 The Spoiler |
Episode 35 The Countdown |
Episode 36 The Nobody |
Episode 37 The Downer |
Episode 38 The Egg |
Episode 39 The Triangle |
Episode 40 The Money |
Episode 1 The Return |
Episode 2 The Nemesis |
Episode 3 The Crew |
Episode 4 The Others |
Episode 5 The Signature |
Episode 6 The Check |
Episode 7 The Pest |
Episode 8 The Sale |
Episode 9 The Gift |
Episode 10 The Parking |
Episode 11 The Routine |
Episode 12 The Upgrade |
Episode 13 The Comic |
Episode 14 The Romantic |
Episode 15 The Uploads |
Episode 16 The Apprentice |
Episode 17 The Hug |
Episode 18 The Wicked |
Episode 19 The Traitor |
Episode 20 The Origins |
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two |
Episode 22 The Girlfriend |
Episode 23 The Advice |
Episode 24 The Signal |
Episode 25 The Parasite |
Episode 26 The Love |
Episode 27 The Awkwardness |
Episode 28 The Nest |
Episode 29 The Points |
Episode 30 The Bus |
Episode 31 The Night |
Episode 32 The Misunderstandings |
Episode 33 The Roots |
Episode 34 The Blame |
Episode 35 The Slap |
Episode 36 The Detective |
Episode 37 The Fury |
Episode 38 The Compilation |
Episode 39 The Scam |
Episode 40 The Disaster |
Episode 1 The Rerun |
Episode 2 The Stories |
Episode 3 The Guy |
Episode 4 The Boredom |
Episode 5 The Vision |
Episode 6 The Choices |
Episode 7 The Code |
Episode 8 The Test |
Episode 9 The Slide |
Episode 10 The Loophole |
Episode 11 The Fuss |
Episode 12 The Copycats |
Episode 13 The Potato |
Episode 14 The Outside |
Episode 15 The Vase |
Episode 16 The Matchmaker |
Episode 17 The Box |
Episode 18 The Console |
Episode 19 The Ollie |
Episode 20 The Catfish |
Episode 21 The Cycle |
Episode 22 The Stars |
Episode 23 The Grades |
Episode 24 The Diet |
Episode 25 The Ex |
Episode 26 The Sorcerer |
Episode 27 The Menu |
Episode 28 The Uncle |
Episode 29 The Weirdo |
Episode 30 The Heist |
Episode 31 The Singing |
Episode 32 The Best |
Episode 33 The Worst |
Episode 34 The Deal |
Episode 35 The Petals |
Episode 36 The Nuisance |
Episode 37 The Line |
Episode 38 The List |
Episode 39 The News |
Episode 40 The Puppets |
Episode 1 The Rival |
Episode 2 The Lady |
Episode 3 The Sucker |
Episode 4 The Vegging |
Episode 5 The One |
Episode 6 The Father |
Episode 7 The Cringe |
Episode 8 The Cage |
Episode 9 The Neighbor |
Episode 10 The Anybody |
Episode 11 The Faith |
Episode 12 The Candidate |
Episode 13 The Pact |
Episode 14 The Shippening |
Episode 15 The Brain |
Episode 16 The Parents |
Episode 17 The Founder |
Episode 18 The Schooling |
Episode 19 The Intelligence |
Episode 20 The Potion |
Episode 21 The Spinoffs |
Episode 22 The Transformation |
Episode 23 The Understanding |
Episode 24 The Ad |
Episode 25 The Ghouls |
Episode 26 The Stink |
Episode 27 The Awareness |
Episode 28 The Slip |
Episode 29 The Drama |
Episode 30 The Buddy |
Episode 31 The Possession |
Episode 32 The Master |
Episode 33 The Silence |
Episode 34 The Future |
Episode 35 The Wish |
Episode 36 The Factory |
Episode 37 The Agent |
Episode 38 The Web |
Episode 39 The Mess |
Episode 40 The Heart |
Episode 41 The Revolt |
Episode 42 The Decisions |
Episode 43 The BFFS |
Episode 44 The Inquisition |