The Safety/Transcript

Watch Out, Little Teddy!

[The episode starts with a video's title card, with cheery music playing]

Video Narrator: Watch Out, Little Teddy.

[Then a teddy bear is seen cooking]

Video Narrator: Little Teddy is very excited, because it's cookie time. But, watch out, Little Teddy…

[Little Teddy burns his hands while attempting to bring out some cookies from an oven]

Little Teddy: Ow! Ow!

Video Narrator: BE CAREFUL AROUND OVENS!

[The video switches to Little Teddy looking out from a window, and to a tree with a bird]

Video Narrator: Little Teddy has seen a bird. [Little Teddy waves as narrator speaks] Hello little bird!

Bird: Hello!

Video Narrator: But, watch out, Little Teddy...

[Little Teddy falls out of the window, and hits the ground. The bird perches on Little Teddy's head and pecks his nose]

Video Narrator: BE CAREFUL AROUND WINDOWS!

[Little Teddy is seen chasing a butterfly in a field]

Video Narrator: Little Teddy is having fun in the backyard, with a butterfly. Butterflies are pretty. But, watch out, Little Teddy….

[After running a long distance, Little Teddy knocks himself over with a rake]

Video Narrator: BE CAREFUL AROUND GARDEN TOOLS!

[The video transitions to Little Teddy walking to an old woman about to cross a road]

Video Narrator: Little Teddy is helping a senior citizen. That's kind of you, Teddy. It's nice to be nice.

[Little Teddy and the old woman start crossing the road]

Video Narrator: But, watch out, Little Teddy...

[Little Teddy puts his arm around the old woman's shoulder, which angers her. The old woman screams, and beats his head with a crowbar until a bump rises from his head]

Video Narrator: BE CAREFUL AROUND STRANGERS!

[As the old woman leaves, Little Teddy is hit by a speeding car]

Video Narrator: AND CARS!

[The scene flips over, and transitions to Little Teddy dancing inside a circle of singing children]

Children: [Singing] If you're going on adventures, or having lots of fun. Remember to be frightened, being safe is number one.

Little Teddy: [Waving] Remember, kids: please take care, 'cause danger's lurking— [Little Teddy, along with the video becomes eerily distorted and slowed] everywhere.

[The camera zooms out from a TV in Miss Simian's classroom. Beside it, Mr. Small is screaming, frightened by the video. Gumball, Darwin, Sarah, Leslie, Masami, Molly, and Tobias, who were watching the video, are frozen with horrified expressions on their faces]

Mister Small​​​​​: Okay. Everyone, take the rest of the day off. I'm just gonna—

[The haunted Mr. Small grabs a trash bin, uses it to cover his head, and rocks gently in a corner. The other students (except for Darwin) walk away, all of them still having the same facial expressions. Darwin remains seated, and the camera zooms into his face]

Darwin Turns Overprotective

[By the pavement, Betty prepares to cross a road. Suddenly, a screaming Darwin throws a trash bin at her, and pulls Gumball along with him]

Gumball: Dude! Have you lost your mind? What was that all about?

Darwin: Careful!

[Darwin tackles Gumball before he steps into a puddle]

Gumball: What the what are you doing?!

Darwin: Keeping you safe. You almost stepped in a puddle, man. You could have slipped. Or worse, DROWNED!

Gumball: Dude, I think you might be overreacting just a teeny tiny bit.

Darwin: I love you too much to let you get hurt! I'll keep you safe! I'll keep everyone safe!

[Betty places a hand on Darwin]

Betty​​​​: Are you kids alright?

[Darwin flips her over, and sends her flying into a nearby window. He screams after]

Darwin: Come on! [Drags Gumball away]

Gumball: [To Betty] Sorry!

Betty​​​​: [Off-screen] Oh, it's quite alright!

Child Filter

[The next morning, Gumball wakes up and tosses the alarm clock in Darwin's fishbowl to stop the alarm. He goes to the bathroom and unzips his shorts. The outside of the Watterson house is shown]

Gumball: [Off-screen] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

[The scene cuts back to the living room as Gumball frantically runs downstairs]

Gumball: HEY DARWIN! [Talks in panicky gibberish, points to his groin, and cries]

Darwin: What?

[Gumball pulls down his shorts and reveals his censored part]

Darwin: But it always looks like that.

[Gumball removes the censor, and reveals that his entire crotch is missing]

Darwin: Oh, that! That's because I put the child filter on the house.

Gumball: [Pulls up his shorts] What the [blank]?! Wait, what's happening? It's like there's some kind of [blank] device, censoring every gosh [blank] word I say!

Darwin: Cursing is unsafe, Gumball. Words can hurt.

Gumball: Dude, I don't even know any real curse words. I only know the mom-sanctioned versions.

Darwin: But those words hint at the bad ones, so they need to be censored as well.

Gumball: So, what are we supposed to say when we need to vent?

Darwin: Like when?

Gumball: Like now. [Stomps on Darwin's foot]

Darwin: OH YOU—

[The scene cuts to a slideshow featuring a photo of a woman hugging a baby, a photo of a man raking in a field, a photo of a donkey, and a photo of a clown at a party. Peaceful music plays in the slideshow.]

Routine Made Safe

[The scene shows the Wattersons eating literal molecules. Gumball scoops a handful, and gingerly munches on them while Darwin contently watches. Then Gumball spits out some in disgust]

Gumball: Oh, Mom. Darwin's being a complete mom! No offense to you. [To Darwin] Offense to you!

Nicole: I'm sorry, but your brother is right. Vegetables are full of pesticides, meat is full of hormones, fish is full of mercury, milk is not meant to be digested, sugar makes you fat—

Darwin: And bread is full of gluten! The only solution is to eat pure proteins, carbohydrates, fat, minerals, and vitamins. It is for our own good!

Nicole, Richard, and Anais: [Dazed] It is for our own good.

Richard: Can you pass the iron?

[Richard is given a block of iron which he shreds and chews]

Richard: Ah.

Gumball: Am I the only one here who thinks this is COMPLETELY CRAZY?!

Darwin: Is it crazy to keep your loved ones safe?

Richard: I don't mind, as long as I'm full.

[Richard walks to the fridge, making clanking sounds as he walks, and opens it]

Darwin: Careful, Mr. Dad. It's dangerous to take too many vitamins.

[Richard sadly closes the fridge, and as he groans, magnets stick to his stomach, spelling "Aww"]

Richard: Aww.

[In the living room, Gumball turns on the TV, and watches cartoons. An ostrich runs through a desert, while a wolf prepares to catch the ostrich with dynamite and explosives. Gumball laughs, unaware of Darwin dialing a number beside him. Then the wolf picks up his phone]

Wolf: Hello?

Darwin: Hi. I'd like to complain about your cartoon. I disapprove of the use of dynamite. It is imitable, and could endanger the life of a child.

Wolf: Where would a child be able to buy dynamite?

Darwin: Are you saying your channel and sponsors don't care about our nation's children?

Wolf: [Blinks] Okay, no dynamite.

[The wolf brings out an anvil]

Darwin: I'm sorry. We can't allow that, either.

Wolf: But a child can't lift an anvil.

Darwin: [Off-screen] But he might hurt himself trying.

[The wolf dejectedly throws the anvil away. Then, the ostrich runs by, but is stopped by Darwin]

Darwin: Ah ah ah! No running in the road.

[The wolf prepares to bite the ostrich, frozen midair]

Darwin: And, of course, no violence.

Wolf: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I wasn't really gonna bite his tail. The joke is that he's gonna give me my own tail—

Darwin: No jokes, please. A child might laugh and choke.

Wolf: Can we keep the music?

Darwin: No, thank you. It's the gateway to rock n' roll, which is the root of all evil.

Gumball: [Shocked] Uh—

Darwin: Repeat after me: it's for our own good.

Wolf and Ostrich: [Dazed] It's for our own good. It's for our own good— [Slowly walk off-screen]

Gumball: No, no, gosh! Wait! What?! I would never imitate what I see on TV! Guys, come back!

[The ostrich and wolf leave, and Gumball cries. Then he gets angry, bites his own tail, hops up, hits the ceiling, and falls down with birds flying around his head]

Darwin: You know, you can't talk to characters inside a TV, right? [Shoos away the birds] And birds can carry diseases!

[Gumball collapses, and blacks out just as his show ends]

Darwin’s Tyranny

[Gumball wakes up, groaning, and is shocked to find himself chained on a chair at the table. After barely struggling, he sees Richard, Anais, and Nicole, seemingly dazed and creepily happy]

Gumball: Guys! What's going on?!

Nicole: Darwin tied us up while he went to make sure the rest of Elmore is safe.

Nicole, Richard, and Anais: [Dazed] It is for your own good!

Gumball: How can this be for our own good?! Don't you realize—

[Gumball is shocked by a machine attached to his butt]

Gumball: What is that?

Anais: That's the best way for you to exercise safely.

[A sprinkler on the table shoots out a pink substance into each of the family member's mouths. Gumball does not open his mouth, and is splatted with the substance]

Richard: Mmm. That was my idea!

[Gumball shakes off the substance, and finds a bucket under his chair]

Nicole, Richard, and Anais: [Dazed] It is for your own good!

Gumball: Have you lost your minds? How could you give up your freedom?

[Nicole drops her pretense, and everyone else follows suit]

Nicole: Okay, Gumball. We don't have much time. Just do as I say—

Gumball: No! I love you, mother, but I stand for freedom!

Anais: No, Gumball! You don't get it!

Gumball: Sorry! I can't hear you over my freedom!

Nicole: [Quietly] Gumball, we're talking about the—

[A surveillance camera swivels to their direction, and all of them (except for Gumball) put on their guises again]

Gumball: Oh, that's right! Laugh it off! Let's all give away our freedom, and laugh about it! AHAHAH— [Notices the camera behind him, and speaks quietly] Everybody, careful. I think we're being watched.

[Richard, Nicole, and Anais sigh]

Gumball: That's what you wanted to say, wasn't it?

[Nicole, Anais, and Richard (still retaining their guises) gesture towards the kitchen counter with their eyes and heads. Gumball notices the key to their locks]

Gumball: [Evil face] Of course!

[Gumball hops with his chair to the counter. He glances at his family, and they nod. Then he springs, and instead takes the nearby potted cactus with his mouth]

Gumball: Got it!

[Richard, Nicole, and Anais shake their heads. Gumball painstakingly chews up the cactus, while his family watch in puzzlement (although still pretending to be happy). After a while, Gumball forms a replica of the key out of the cactus he chewed up with his mouth. He spits it towards one of his paws, and unlocks himself as the camera swivels away. Anais, Richard, and Nicole have now dropped their guises, and their puzzlement is plainly shown]

Gumball: What?

Nicole: Oh, nothing. Let's get out of here, and stop your brother!

Overthrowing the Safety Regime

[Richard, Nicole, Gumball, and Anais barge through the door of their house, and run to confront Darwin]

Nicole: He's at the town hall. We have to get there, and stop him!

Gumball: Before what?

Anais: He plans to invade the rest of the world to make it safe!

[They screech to a halt]

Gumball: How do you know about all this?

Nicole: He told us.

Gumball: Why didn't you stop him?

Richard: Because, it's Darwin. He's really cute.

Nicole: Aw, he was all like— [Imitates Darwin] "All resistance is futile!"

Anais: [Imitates Darwin] "Those who stray from the path will be corrected!"

Richard: [Imitates Darwin] "Today a safer Elmore! Tomorrow a safer world!"

Gumball: How could you not see he was dangerous? Actually, now that I think of it, it must have been adorable!

All: Aw.

Gumball: Now, alright! Let's take this cutie patootie down!

[Before Gumball can punch a fist into his paw, the sound of rubber is heard. Gumball, Anais, Nicole, and Richard are seen surrounded by citizens in protective gear, armed with batons. They raise their batons, but are interrupted by Principal Brown]

Nigel Brown: [Quietly] I don't mean to alarm you or damage your eardrums by shouting, but under the new regime you are under arrest for treason. Please don't force us to use our balloon batons.

Gumball: Wait. [Pokes a baton] That's not real?

Nigel Brown: No. That would be unsafe.

Gumball: So, what's to stop us from running away?

Nigel Brown: Running is now an unsafe act.

Gumball: Oh, good.

[The Wattersons run away]

Nigel Brown: [Gently] Stop!

[The citizens sidle after the Wattersons, taking extreme caution in moving]

Nigel Brown: Control, we have no other choice but to engage in a vehicle chase.

[They inch to a parked vehicle, and begin to push it]

Nigel Brown: [Groans] I wish we were still allowed to drive.

Harold​​​​: I'm sorry sir, but under the new regime, complaining about the regime is a punishable offense.

[Harold and Jeff repeatedly hit Principal Brown's head with their batons]

The Plan

[The Wattersons arrive at the town hall]

Gumball: Okay. So, here's how we get in.

[Gumball traces an invisible diagram in the air, explaining his plan as he speaks]

Gumball: Okay, now, you're there. We come in from there. We go around there, and we meet there. Is that clear? Let's go!

[Richard imitates Gumball drawing the diagram]

Richard: It's not working!

Gumball: Dad, that was just a diagram.

Anais: Well, we couldn't see it.

Gumball: Yeah. Fair point. Okay, the plan is this: dad creates a diversion at the entrance, allowing us to zip-line inside; mom neutralizes the first three guards; Anais hacks into the alarm system and opens the door, so I can get to Darwin— [Evil face] and destroy him!

[Anais, Nicole, and Richard look at him with shocked expressions]

Gumball: [Normal] Verbally.

[The plan begins. From the top of a building, Nicole, Gumball, and Anais watch a wary Tony at the entrance. Then he suddenly sees Richard, dressed like a woman. As he confusedly expresses himself quietly, Richard knocks him out with a fire hydrant. Richard gives two thumbs-ups]

Gumball: Why'd you need to wear a dress to do that?

Richard: So I can do this.

[Richard repeatedly spins around, playfully. Then Nicole grabs a bar from an antenna]

Nicole: Come on, guys! Hold on to me.

[They crash into a warning scene, and slide down]

TV Narrator: Warning: These stunts are performed by cartoon characters. Do not under any circumstances attempt to imitate or recreate the majority of things that happen in cartoons. Obviously.

[Nicole, Gumball, and Anais enter the town hall. A red guard notices them]

Nicole: Leave this to me!

[Nicole cracks her paws, her neck, her head, and her ears. Then she charges at the guard. But before she can land a punch on him, a title card with "BIFF!!" on it blocks the action]

Nicole: Did anyone see what happened? I'm pretty sure I didn't hit this guy.

Purple Guard: Hey!

[The purple guard charges. Before Nicole can kick him, another title card with "KAPOW!!" replace the action]

Nicole: What's going on? I didn't even touch him!

Gumball: I think Darwin still has the child lock on.

[An orange guard charges, and "TWIDDLE" appears before he gets knocked out]

Nicole: "Twiddle?" What? And he's now censoring the sound effects as well?

[More orange guards and a green security guard appear]

Nicole: You guys go on ahead. This is gonna be pretty boring to watch.

[After Gumball and Anais run off, Nicole and the guards clash, but their fight is censored by yet another card with "EDITED!". Anais and Gumball enter a corridor lined with surveillance monitors on each side]

Gumball: What is all this?

Anais: It must be where he monitors the whole town.

[Gumball steps on something. It turns out to be bubble wrap]

Anais: We're getting close.

Gumball: Wait!

[Gumball pops all of the bubbles on the sheet of bubble wrap]

Gumball: Okay!

[Gumball and Anais walk towards the entrance to Darwin's lair]

Gumball: Ugh! We need a code. How are we gonna get in?

Anais: Don't worry. I have my ways. [Types] H [Types] A [Types] C [Types] K: Hack. Press enter.

[The door opens]

Gumball: Really? "Hack"?

Anais: Just kidding. Actually, I bypassed the storage controller, tapped directly into the VNX array head, decrypted the Nearline SAS disks—

Gumball: [Nods] Mhm. [Nods] Mhm. [Nods] Mhm.

Anais: Injected the flash drivers into the network's fiber pack, before disabling the IDS, routed incoming traffic through a bunch of offshore proxies—

Gumball: [Steps back and nods] Mhm. Mhm.

Anais: Accessed the ESXi server cluster in the primary datacenter, and disabled the Inter-VSAN routing in the layer three—

[Gumball leaves Anais]

Revolution!

[Gumball sees Darwin in his "lair," smiling almost innocently. He grabs a drape]

Gumball: Revolution!

Darwin: Noooo! Use the stairs. It's safer.

[Gumball sighs, jumps off a ledge, swings multiple times, and tries to reach for Darwin, but fails. The drape stops swinging]

Gumball: Oh, whatever.

[Gumball drops to the floor, and limps threateningly towards Darwin after dusting himself]

Darwin: Gumball, that wasn't very safe. Did you hurt yourself?

Gumball: Yes. But that doesn't mean you're right!

Darwin: But, I'm doing this for your own good! I'm the hero here.

Gumball: Okay, man. Let me ask you one question: would a hero sit on a throne? Would a hero carry a riding crop? Would a hero hang out in a lair, surrounded with plans to take over the world?!

Darwin: That's three questions.

Gumball: That's—eh—that's not the point! Look at yourself!

[Gumball grabs a camera, and points it to Darwin. Darwin sees himself]

Darwin: D—Do you think—? Am I the villain?

Gumball: Mhm. Mhm.

Darwin: Did I go too far?

[Gumball gestures to Darwin's security monitors, his rulebook, a map of some of the world's continents, his hat, and cape]

Gumball: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! No! The cape is awesome!

Darwin: What am I gonna do?

Gumball: Just accept that sometimes, life isn't safe.

Darwin: You're right. I'm gonna get rid of all these rules.

Gumball: Uh, before you do, can I add one?

All Hail the Lords of Elmore!

[The scene skips to Elmore Junior High, just as the bell rings. Gumball and Darwin (dressed with capes) pass by a school corridor. Leslie, Banana Joe, Tobias, Carmen, and Sarah suddenly line up]

Tobias​​​​: All hail the mighty Gumball and Darwin, lords of Elmore!

[After they salute, they slap themselves, and Gumball and Darwin laugh. The episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition