The Roots/Transcript

Driving to the Mall

Gumball: No way, man. The crocodile would definitely win. It's like a torpedo made out of dinosaur.

Darwin: Yeah, but the bear would lure the crocodile into a false sense of security with his cuteness, then hug it 'til his head pops!

Anais: Guys, I don't think you fully understand the concept of a zoo. There won't be any animal fights.

Nicole: Uh, I never said we were going to the zoo.

Anais: But you said we were going to see depressed, out of shape creatures walking around in circles.

Nicole: Yep, we're going to the mall.

Darwin: Can we still check out the pet store though?

Nicole: Okay, deal. But first, we have to go to the cutthroat pit where men tear each other apart for a dime.

Richard: We're going to Wall Street?

Nicole: The discount aisle.

[Alison and a bear fight over a discount flat screen television. Alison knocks out the bear]

Gumball: Well, now we know I guess. Crocodile wins.

At the Pet Store

[Gumball walks past a real cat in a cage]

Gumball: Uh, Mom?

[Gumball points out the cat to Nicole]

Nicole: I know, sweetie. Don't think about it too much.

Richard: [Talking to a parrot] Alright, you strike a hard bargain but you got yourself a deal. Three pieces of bait for a cracker.

Parrot: Cracker.

Larry: It can't understand you, sir. It just repeats anything it regularly overhears.

Parrot: [Squawks] Oh man! Not that chubby pink guy again!

Larry: [Chuckles nervously] Tha-that could be anyone.

Parrot: [Squawks] With his buck tooth and his stupid clip-on tie!

Larry: Uh, that could still be someone else.

Parrot: The man I'm talking about is Richard Butt-Ugly Watterson.

Richard: [Gasps, then laughs] I thought he was talking about me for a second, but my middle name isn't "Butt-Ugly." It's "Buckley." I feel sorry for that other fellow.

[Darwin looks at a fish tank full of fish, feeling sad]

Darwin: [Inhales, then sighs]

[Nicole and Anais walk up to Darwin on the right, then Richard and Gumball walk up on the left]

Nicole: Are you okay, sweetheart?

Darwin: Oh, I'm fine, Mrs. Mom. It's just, I was looking at all these fish swimming happily in this large tank. And...I've said too much.

[Gumball, Anais, Nicole and Richard gasp, then moan while looking sad]

Checking Darwin's Computer

[Nicole types on the computer in the children's bedroom]

Nicole: Let me know if he's coming. Okay, how to grow a butt? What age will I start laying fish eggs? Here, a better fish environment. I knew it! [Bites her fist]

Gumball: What are you looking at?

Nicole: Darwin's browser history. Dah, what?

[Anais, Richard, and Gumball are shown frantically destroying their devices outside]

Gumball: Sorry, we had no idea you were techie enough to check out internet browser histories. Please, go on.

Nicole: [Tearful] I don't think Darwin's happy here anymore. He misses his natural environment.

Gumball: Wait, you mean [Camera zooms in to his face] we're gonna release him back into the wild?!

[Anais, Richard and Nicole let out a primal scream]

Nicole: [Begins to destroy the computer] I will destroy anyone who tries to take my baby!

[Gumball turns around and looks at Richard, who is literally tearing himself apart]

[Downstairs, Darwin watches TV. Disturbed by the noise they are causing upstairs, he turns up the volume on the TV]

Gumball: [Talking over the sounds of their loud screams] Okay, sorry sorry! It just seemed like the rational solution.

Anais: You want rational?! [Begins to repeatedly punch Gumball]

Gumball: Ow ow ow! Okay okay okay okay okay. It's not what I want from either. Let's just try some irrational solutions first.

[Anais, Richard, and Nicole instantly calm down]

Nicole: I'm listening.

Gumball: Well, if we can't take him back to his world, let's bring his world to him.

Dinner Time

[Darwin looks excited about dinner, Nicole then scoops worms onto a plate in front of Darwin, making Darwin look confused]

Darwin: Why?

Nicole: It's a special treat for my favorite little guppy. [Fills a glass with water and sets it down by Darwin]

Gumball: C'mon, dig in. Look, it's delicious. [Pretends to eat it by opening the neck of his sweater and dropping it inside, then farting it out his pants]

Richard: We got some other stuff if you don't like worms. [Puts a bowl of fishhooks in the table] How about fishhooks? Not hungry? [Grabs a handful of fishhooks and throws them in his mouth then swallows them] Mmm. Delicious! [Drinks water from the glass, then leaks out holes created in his body when he swallowed the fishhooks] I love the way saltwater stings my insides. [Passes out, slamming his face on the plate of worms in front of him, knocking over the bowl of fishhooks]

Gumball: Aren't ya hungry? Because I was about plastic bags and some mercury. [Finger quotes] You guys love that right?

Darwin: What do you mean [Finger quotes] you guys?

Gumball: [Begins to stutter, then imitates a gun cocking]

Darwin: What's that?

Gumball: The ejector seat. [Pretends to press a button, then literally ejects from his seat]

Anais: Uh, let's move straight to dessert.

Richard: [Puts his foot on the table] Here! You can nibble the dead skin off my foot.

Darwin: [Looking disgusted] I think I'm gonna skip dinner tonight. Thanks. [Walks upstairs]

Richard: What? [Removes his foot from the table] That's what fish do. I've seen it. In the mall!

[Darwin slams the door]

[Richard does the same sad look and moan from earlier while looking at Nicole, Nicole does the same, but she looks at Anais, then Anais does it to Gumball through the window]

Ocean Themed Outfits

Gumball: Right. According to this book, "Connecting with your roots," step one is to provide the appropriate amount of sunlight for your loved one. Which means they shouldn't be kept in your bedroom. So that's why I threw Darwin out last night.

Anais: I'm pretty sure that book's about plants.

Gumball: Uh, that makes sense 'cause part two is "Cover with fertilizer."

[Darwin's head is buried underground, and he struggles to get out]

Gumball: Anyway, uh, step three is to dress appropriately. So, what kind of fish wear have we got going on?

[Anais, Richard and Nicole are suddenly dressed in ocean themed outfits]

Gumball: Mom, what's that?

Nicole: [Pops out of the treasure chest, releasing bubbles] Treasure chest. [Goes back into the treasure chest, then pops out again] What are you wearing?

Gumball: [Throws away the book to reveal his outfit] Mermaid outfit. Why do you ask?

Anais: Because it looks very wrong.

Gumball: You're right. Maybe we need to rethink this and take a long hard look at ourselves in the mirror.

[All four look at their outfits in the mirror]

Gumball: Nah, we're nailing this.

Darwin: [Yelling] Okay, I'm gonna take a walk. [Whispering] Away from all this craziness.

[Gumball, Anais, Nicole, and Richard stall Darwin by quickly talking and running towards him]

Darwin: No! Just no. [Walks out the door]

[All four sigh, then start to get out of their outfits]

Swimming as a School

Banana Joe: It's great we're going for ice cream, Darwin. But, what's up with them?

[Gumball, Anais, Nicole, and Richard are all floating behind Darwin]

Darwin: Apparently, we now swim as a school.

Banana Joe: Why?

Darwin: All I got for an answer was:

[All four begin gulping like fish]

Banana Joe: Okay.

Larry: There you go. A banana split to share.

[Gumball, Anais, Nicole and Richard eat the banana split like piranhas, leaving nothing for Darwin and Banana Joe]

Darwin: [Sighs] Right. See you later.

[Banana Joe falls apart in two pieces]

[Darwin is walking back home. Gumball, Anais, Nicole, and Richard follow while still floating]

Darwin: [Darwin turns around and looks at Gumball, Anais, Nicole and Richard] Could you please [Gets interrupted by all four rearranging when Darwin looks at them] stop that?

Gumball: So, you're not digging the whole shoal thing?

Darwin: No!

[All four sigh as Darwin continues to walk home. Darwin walks in the house, slowed down by all four "cleaning his gills"]

Darwin: [Grunting, then shakes his head] I don't like this suckerfish cleaning my gills thing either! I'll be in my bowl. [Walks upstairs, then slams the door]

Nicole: Oh, it's not working. He's even more unhappy than he was before.

Anais: I don't think we can ever act like real fish.

Richard: Yes, we can. All we have to do is to forget everything every three seconds. All we have to do is forget everything every three seconds. All we have to—

Gumball: But listen. To make him feel included, we need to keep talking to him. But we just have to use words he can understand.

Using Words He Can Understand

Richard: Ahem. Ray there, buddy. What's going prawn?

Darwin: What? [Darwin pops out of his fishbowl]

Gumball: Minnow? You've been giving us a lot of carp about this whole fish thing and, I eel you. No trout. I'm your sole brother after all, you know what I brine?

Nicole: We don't want you to feel orcaward. We're just trying to kelp you.

Darwin: I have literally no idea what any of you are talking about.

Gumball: We just hake to sea you like this. You know what I'm salmon?

Anais: We cod do batter if you let us fry. Here's some whale sounds to make you reel at home. [Pulls out a portable stereo. Whale sounds play] Wow, it's beautiful. If only we could understand what they're saying.

Whale Caption 1: Help me!

Whale Caption 2: I have an IQ of 160

Whale Caption 3: But they make me balance a ball on my nose and throw coins into my blowhole.

Richard: [Sniffles while tears run from his eyes] Majestic.

Darwin: [Shouting] Ah, look, can you please just get out?! I've haddock up to here—I mean I've had it up to— Ah, just get out!

[All four leave]

Back at the Pet Store

[Darwin looks at the fish, while Gumball, Anais, Nicole and Richard stare from outside]

Darwin: [Looking sadly at the fish, then inhales, and sighs]

[Gumball, Anais, Nicole and Richard look at each other sadly while moaning]

Anais: What can we do?

Gumball: Um, I think we should keep him away from the sea and rivers and swimming pools, and just water altogether. And other fish. Also mirrors. And fish related things like chips, lip surgery, and Japan. And daylight in general so he can't see anything else I didn't think of.

Anais: Well we might as well lock him inside a box and bury him in the basement.

Richard: Yes! That's exactly what we should do!

Anais: Dad!

Richard: [Begins to tear up] Ugh, do you have any solutions that won't break our hearts?

Nicole: I'm afraid we're going to have to be rational. [On the verge of tears] We have to release him back into his natural habitat.

The Rational Solution

[Gumball, Anais, Nicole and Richard are all crying in the car while the radio is playing]

Darwin: Why is everyone crying?

Gumball: Nobody's crying.

[Nicole stops the car. The car doors open, releasing a deluge of tears. The deluge washes them up to a pond nearby]

Darwin: What are we doing here? Can't we just go home?

Nicole: Well, this is your [Voice breaking, trying to say "home"] home now.

Gumball: [Broken voice] It's okay, buddy. We can still stay in touch. Look, I got us these walkie-talkies. Let me help you move in. [Throws a walkie-talkie into the pond, electrocuting and killing all of the fish in the pond]

Gumball: Well, now you've got the whole pond to yourself. [Chuckles nervously, then he and the family burst into tears and hug Darwin]

Darwin: Guys, what is going on? Seriously!

[The family stops bawling]

Nicole: We will always love you.

Anais: You were always my favorite.

Gumball: Uh, I'm right here, you know.

Anais: Just kidding. [Nods]

[All four resume crying]

Richard: We're doing it for you, son. If it were up to me, you'd be blindfolded and locked up in a basement.

Darwin: What?

[All four throw Darwin into the pond. Darwin screams. Darwin swims up to the surface and watches them drive away]

The Pursuit

[Nicole, Richard, Gumball and Anais are crying in the car]

Nicole: You all saw him at the pet store. This is what he really wanted.

Darwin: [On top of the car] What do you think you're doing?! [Begins to lose his grip from the fast moving car]

Nicole: This is a big turning point in his life.

Darwin: Hello?!

[Nicole makes a sharp turn. Darwin gets thrown off the car]

Nicole: And he'll get used to it. He just has to hold on.

[Darwin catches up on a truck. Darwin screams]

Nicole: It's a big leap for him to go back to his natural habitat.

[Darwin gets ready to jump off of the truck and back onto the car]

Nicole: But he gave us a very clear sign.

[Darwin attempts the jump, but fails when he hits a highway sign]

Nicole: He'll just have to hang on in there.

Darwin: [On another truck, talking to Pantsbully] Hey, you! Follow them!

[Pantsbully screams and jumps out the truck. The truck begins to swerve. Darwin screams]

Nicole: Life isn't always a straight path, you know. And sometimes things just come to a dead end.

[Darwin approaches a dead end. Darwin jumps from the truck while it explodes and lands on a yellow car]

Darwin: Aha! What is wrong with you?

[Banana Joe and Banana Bob scream and jump out of their car]

Nicole: Look, I know we're all upset, but how about some ice cream to cheer us all up, huh?

[Nicole drives off the highway]

Darwin: Aah! Come on!

[Nicole pulls up to an ice cream stand outside of a Joyful Burger]

Nicole: Three sundaes, please, and, Richard, honey, what do you want?

Richard: Lots.

[Darwin lands face-first on the windshield]

Darwin: You abandon me, then go for ice cream?!

[All four scream then jump out of the car]

Darwin: [Slides off the windshield; shakes the grass and mud off of his face; shouting] Somebody please tell me WHAT IS GOING ON!

Gumball: Sorry, buddy, but you were just so sad when you were looking at those fish in the pet store. We tried to reconnect you with your roots, but we could see it wasn't enough, so we kind of White Fang'd you.

Darwin: What are you guys talking about?

Nicole: You know -- the way you looked at the fish and then back at us with that sad face.

[All four make the face]

Darwin: Oh, that! I wasn't looking at the fish. I was trying to guilt-trip you into buying me the huge tank.

Nicole: You were trying to emotionally blackmail me into buying you something?

Richard: Well, looks like somebody's shown their true colors. You really are...

Gumball, Anais, Nicole, and Richard: A Watterson!

[Everyone hugs Darwin]

Darwin: [Whispering] So does this mean I get a new tank?

Nicole: [Whispering] Absolutely not.

[Darwin whines while making a sad face]

Nicole: Okay, well, if I work even more night shifts and stop eating dinner, then maybe I could save us enough money.

Darwin: I suppose that's fair. Of course, I never knew my real parents, or what my life would have been like in the ocean.

Nicole: That's true. We cruelly took you in, clothed you, fed you, looked after you... I suppose we still owe you so much.

Darwin: [Sighs] You're too good.

Nicole: No one can guilt-trip like a mother. [Kisses Darwin on the forehead]

[Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition