The Responsible/Transcript

The Perfect Babysitters

[Richard is attempting to put his pants on]

Richard: Oh, no! It seems I can't put them on. I'm afraid we can't go to the parent's evening.

[Nicole takes Richard's pants, puts belt together and zips them]

Nicole: Ready to go.

[Doorbell rings, Nicole opens the door]

Nicole: Ah.

Albert the Pervert: Hi. I'm here to sit on the baby.

Nicole: [confused] What?

Albert the Pervert: Well, duh! I'm the babysitter!

[Nicole shuts the door]

Nicole: Richard, where did you find that guy?

Richard: [sheepishly] On the Internet...

[Richard's pants button pops out]

Nicole: [sighs] Where am I going to find a babysitter at this time?

Gumball: Ahem!

[Gumball shows hands to Darwin, who returns it, presenting themselves]

Nicole: [sighs] I can't believe I'm going to say this. I guess you guys are old enough to babysit?

Gumball and Darwin: Us?

Nicole: Yes, you. But promise you'll be responsible.

Gumball: I promise to be the most responsible kid and will handle my responsibilities in the most responsible way.

Darwin: Yeah, responsible!

Nicole: You have no idea what responsible means, do you?

Gumball and Darwin: Nah.

Nicole: It means acting like a grownup. And most of all, it means taking care of your little sister.

Anais: [coming from upstairs] What?!

Nicole: Can I trust you guys to do that?

Gumball: Come on, mom. We were born reprehensible.

Nicole: [Corrects Gumball] Responsible.

Gumball: Yeah, that's what I meant.

Nicole: Richard, put your pants on. We're off.

Richard: No!

Nicole: Richard. Pants... on.

Richard: No!

[Nicole squeezes Richard into the car with her foot]

Richard: Nooo! I don't wanna go to school!

Nicole: We have to go! It's a parents evening, and we are the parents! [shoves Richard into the car and slams the door]

Nicole: I'm putting a lot of trust in you kids.

Gumball: Don't worry, mom. You won't be disappointed.

[Nicole drives off, Richard is still crying and moaning]

Gumball: So how do you feel, Darwin?

Darwin: Pretty responsible. And you?

Gumball: I feel like a new man... a responsible man.

[Both Gumball and Darwin chuckle]

Anais: [sighs] I can't believe this. I'm going upstairs.

Gumball and Darwin: [gasps] STAIRS! AAAHHH!

[Gumball and Darwin tackle Anais to the ground]

Anais: Oww! What are you doing?

Gumball: Seventy-nine percent of stair accidents happen on the stairs.

Anais: What does that even mean?

Gumball: It means you're safer sitting here.

[Gumball plops Anais down on the couch]

Anais: Okay.

[Anais turns on the TV to the Daisy the Donkey show]

Television Set (Daisy the Donkey): Welcome to Daisy the Donkey show! We'll be right back after these messages.

Television Set (Commercial): When you're deciding where to go for a hamburger-

Gumball: [screams] Aah! Commercials! They'll corrupt your mind!

[Gumball and Darwin smash the TV with baseball bats]

Gumball: Bad commercials! Bad commercials!

Anais: Are you completely out of your mind?

Gumball: There's...too...much...violence...on...TV...anyway.

Anais: And you chose to demonstrate that by smashing the TV in front of me?

Gumball: It was the responsible thing to do.

[Darwin and Gumball chuckle again]

Anais: Even though you set it on fire.

Gumball: It's not on fire. [looks over to the TV to see it is engulfed in flames] Oh, it is on fire... [grabs Darwin by the cheeks and screams] FIRE!

[Gumball goes off screen and rushes in with a bucket of water]

Anais: Stop! Don't throw water on an electrical-

[Darwin spits a stream of water on the engulfed TV, electrocuting himself and Gumball]

Anais: -fire... You should always use a fire extinguisher or if unavailable, baking soda. [puts out the fire with an extinguisher] But most importantly call an adult or the emergency services.

Gumball: Yeah of course, but ours was a responsible demonstration of what not to do in case of an electrical fire.

Anais: How could mom put you in charge? [opens a book]

[Darwin kicks the book she was reading out the window]

Anais: What is wrong with you?!

Darwin: Papercuts.

Anais: Ridiculous, and look at the mess you're making!

Gumball: It's a small price to pay for your safety.

Darwin: You're too young to understand.

Anais: Excuse me, but who makes your breakfast every day?

Gumball and Darwin: You, of course.

Anais: And who helps you with your homework?

Gumball and Darwin: You.

Anais: So I should be in charge.

Gumball: But who did mom put in charge?

Anais: You...

Gumball: So who has to do what we say?

Anais: Me.

Pre-PTA meeting

[Scene cuts to Elmore Junior High; Richard and Nicole are waiting outside Miss Simian's room]

Richard: Uhh, I feel like I'm in one of those dreams. The ones where you go to school naked.

Nicole: Oh come on Richard, stop being so dramatic. We're the parents now, there's nothing she can do to you.

Lucy Simian: You get an F minus in parenting! Next!

[Banana Joe's parents come out of the room crying]

Lucy Simian: Oh, the Wattersons.

[Awkward silence]

Lucy Simian: Are you aware that your husband isn't wearing any pants?

Back to the Kids

[Scene cuts back to the Watterson house]

Gumball: Aw, look at that grumpy little face.

Darwin: I know what will cheer her up. How about a walk in the park?

Anais: Hmm, yeah I guess that could be okay.

Park

[Gumball and Darwin are at the park, Anais is on a leash like a dog]

Gumball: Come on, it's for your own safety.

Bert: Oh, isn't she lovely? How old is she then?

Gumball: She's four now.

Bert: Well now, you want a biscuit? Huh? You won't get a taste of this you won't ever get a taste of this that's right cause it's mine. Whoo I was just teasin' ya, you want a little bit of-

[Anais bites Bert]

Bert: Ah! Oh! she bit me!

Gumball: You know what this means?

Darwin: She must be hungry!

[Anais facepalms]

Hungry

[Scene goes back to the house]

Gumball: It's time for num-nums! We have a mackerel sandwich, a potato, and a little something for dessert.

[Gumball lifts up the lid of a plate and an old boot is revealed; Anais is visibly disgusted]

Anais: Are you kidding me?

Gumball: [gasp] Of course! That food is way too chunky for a little baby like her, she could choke.

Darwin: I know what to do.

[Darwin takes the tray from Anais, he and Gumball begin to chew the food for her grossly and vomit it back onto the tray; Anais is disgusted; Gumball draws a smiley face in it]

Gumball: Bon appetit! [places a straw on the food]

Anais: Alright, you asked for this. [inhales and blows the food all over Gumball, Darwin, and the walls]

Gumball: Okay, bath time.

Bathing

[Scene cuts to bathroom, Gumball is testing the water temperature]

Gumball: Ah, just right.

Darwin: Isn't water dangerous?

[Gumball gasps and tosses Anais back onto the rug]

Anais: How do you expect me to wash myself without water?

Gumball: Haven't you heard of dry cleaning?

Anais: Fine, get out of here!

[Slams the door on Gumball and Darwin]

Gumball: They grow up so fast.

Darwin: Shhh!

[Anais is seen filling up the tub with water]

Darwin: Is that water I hear?

[Anais opens the door a little]

Anais: No! I just... flushed?

Gumball: Oh, speaking of which we're gonna need you to wear this.

[He holds up a diaper]

Anais: WHAT!?!

Gumball: We don't want you to have any accidents.

Darwin: Very responsible thinking, Gumball.

Gumball: Hm, thanks.

[They both chuckle]

Gumball: Now be a big girl and...

[They both gasp, Anais is at the bottom of the steps]

Anais: There's no way I'm wearing a diaper!

[She runs away, Gumball and Darwin chase after her, they forget to turn off the running water in the bathroom]

Gumball: Get back here!

[They chase her through the living room, making a huge mess in the process]

Gumball: Come back Anais! You can run but you can't hide!

[She hides under the sofa]

[Anais runs upstairs and barricades herself in Gumball and Darwin's room]

Gumball: Open this door young lady! Don't make me tell mom that you've been a bad baby!

[Gumball somehow stretches his eye in the crack of the door]

Gumball: [Screams] Aah! She's not in there, she ran out the window!

[They kick open their door and climb onto the roof]

Gumball: Oh, what's mom gonna think? We're in so much trouble!

[Anais sticks her head out the window]

Anais: You goons really walked into that one!

[She shuts the window]

Gumball: Anais, let us in.

Anais: Babysit yourself on the roof until mom and dad come back.

Gumball and Darwin: Anais! Anais!

[They hit the window repeatedly, Anais is on Gumball's bed]

Anais: Oh look, a book, I hope I don't give myself a papercut.

[She giggles and bounces on the bed]

Gumball and Darwin: Anais!

Anais: Oh no, no diaper. I surely hope I don't have an accident, on your bed!

Gumball and Darwin: Anais! [They both notice something offscreen] Anais!!

Anais: And you know what I'm gonna have now? A nice relaxing bath, with real water!

[Anais begins to slide down, Gumball and Darwin's room is nearly flooded, Anais lands in the water]

Post-PTA meeting

[The scene cuts to Richard and Nicole sitting on the front steps of the school]

Richard: Well, it could've been worse.

Nicole: Are you kidding me? Look at the bill, how do you set fire to a swimming pool?

Richard: [Laughs] I know, pretty good huh?

[Nicole gives him a death glare]

Richard: ...that you're always there to keep an eye on them?

[Nicole remembers the kids are still home alone, gets in the car and speeds home]

Underwater

[Scene goes back to their house, Anais is struggling to open the window]

Anais: Do something!

Gumball: Get on the bed and stay where you are. We'll figure out a way to rescue you.

[Gumball and Darwin are on the porch]

Gumball: Don't worry! I'll smash the door in- [headbutts the door and nothing happens except him recoiling in pain] Ah! You wouldn't know where the keys are by any chance, would you?

[Darwin looks in the window, the keys float by underwater]

Darwin: Somewhere safe.

Gumball: Ah, what are we gonna do?

[A manhole is seen, the scene then cuts to the house's bathroom, where Darwin and Gumball have evidently swum up the sewer pipe and gone out the toilet. Gumball and Darwin swim in their room where Anais is waiting. Gumball coughs up a chunk of water from holding in]

Gumball: Hey, how's it going?

Anais: I don't know, how do you think it's going?

[Darwin is shown trying to open the window, which is not opening]

Gumball: Okay, take a deep breath

[They swim down the stairs, where Darwin finds the keys, but before they can open the door the keys are sucked out of his grip by the water pressure coming from the fireplace. Anais gets the idea to go out the chimney, so they move the couch and swim up and are caught in a violent geyser erupting from the chimney]

Anais, Darwin and Gumball: Woohoo!

[They all celebrate]

Gumball: Good job everyone!

[The geyser suddenly stops, the kids are caught in midair, they all look down and start to scream, Gumball pulls out the diaper he put in his pocket]

Gumball: Hey don't worry, we can use this diaper as a parachute and float safely down to-

[They hit the ground face first with a loud smack, they hear a car in the front yard and it turns out to be their parents coming home]

Anais: [Gasps] They're back!

Anais, Darwin, and Gumball: Oh no.

[They duck back around the corner, Nicole storms out of the car while Richard cautiously follows]

Richard: See honey? I told you there was nothing to worry about.

[Nicole opens the door and a huge burst of water hits them, leaving them filthy and stunned]

Gumball: Hi.

Nicole: Thank heavens you're safe!

[She runs up to Anais and gives her a hug]

Anais: So you're not angry at us for trashing the house?

Nicole: Oh no. Angry doesn't BEGIN TO COVER IT!!!!!!!

Blame Game

[Scene cuts to the interior of the house, with the whole family there]

Richard: How do you burn the TV underwater?

Nicole: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!?!

[Anais, Gumball, and Darwin look shocked]

Anais: Mom, it's my--

Gumball: No, I've got this.

Anais: No, Gumball, it was me that left the faucet running!

Gumball: Please sis, let your brother be, responsible for once in his life.

[Anais gets teary eyed, and runs over to give Gumball a hug.]

Anais: Thanks, Gumball.

[Gumball inhales and begins to tell Nicole what happened]

Gumball: Mom... [sees Nicole with flames in her eyes], it was Darwin. [points to Darwin]

Darwin: WHAT!?! It was her that flooded the place! [points to Anais]

Anais: I thought you were going to take the rap! Anyway, it was clearly mom's fault. She was the one who left Gumball in charge.

Nicole: Well it, it's dad's fault for not finding a proper babysitter!

Richard: Well, um, none of this would've happened if it wasn't for you! [points to a broken computer on the floor]

[Scene falls silent for a few moments]

Nicole: Um, who are you blaming here?

Richard: The internet?

All: OK, that's enough.

[Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight