The Remote/Transcript

The Battle for the Remote Commences

[Episode starts with Gumball, Darwin, and Anais sitting at the table, while Nicole is in the kitchen]

Gumball: Tonight is going to be awesome! I can't believe they're going to show it!

Darwin: TV is finally gonna acknowledge our existence!

Anais: What are you talking about?

Darwin: Only "Cutie Pets."

Gumball: The number one pet show on TV.

Darwin: They're gonna show this photo! [Holds up photo of Gumball and Darwin running in the rain with puppy eyes]

Anais: Pets? I thought you preferred "animal companion."

Darwin: Aw, who cares about moral principles? This is TV we're talking about!

Nicole: I'm pretty excited too! "Win or Don't Win" is calling tonight. All I have to do is answer one question and I'll win a new microwave!

Gumball: What's wrong with our microwave?

[Nicole places a flower pot in front of the microwave; which burns and shrivels to a pile of ashes. Gumball, Darwin, and Anais chatter in agreement]

Anais: Well, I can't wait to watch Daisy tonight. You're going to meet Sally the Snake, aren't you, Daisy? [Imitates Daisy] Yes, I am.

Gumball, Darwin, Anais, and Nicole: Ahh... I can't wait till eight.

[Everyone looks at each other in sudden realization of their situation, in an awkward silence]

Gumball: Well, then I guess it's whoever gets to the remote first!

[Everyone begins frantically wolfing their breakfast down. They all finish at the same time. They rush for the table where the remote usually is, climbing and tripping over each other. Richard is shown sitting on the couch with bloodshot eyes and a five o'clock shadow, and the other Wattersons freeze in place]

Richard : Upupupupup! I've been up all night saving my seat for... El gran final de "La Casa de las Lágrimas" [Translates to: The grand finale of "La Casa de las Lágrimas," which in turn translates to "The House of Tears"] ...and just to make sure no one changes the channel, I've hidden the remote! Ahaha— [snores]

[Everyone except Richard erupts into a raging argument, explaining why they should get to watch the TV]

Anais: Can I please watch Daisy?

[They all stop to yell at Anais]

Gumball, Darwin, Nicole and Richard: No!

[They begin arguing again]

Darwin: This face was made for TV!

Nicole: I don't want to grow a third arm next time I make a cup of coffee!

Anais: I wish I had enough money to buy my own remote!

[Anais goes to her room; Nicole gets an idea, shown by the expression on her face: shocked or awestruck]

Nicole: Okay, well, you know what? I'm going... grocery shopping!

[Nicole runs out of the house]

Gumball: Hey! We're not done with you yet!

Darwin: Wake up!

[They repeatedly slap his cheeks attempting to wake him up, to no avail]

Gumball: Wait a minute. We don't need the remote. We can change the channel... on the TV.

Darwin: You mean get up from the sofa and change it manually, like they did in ancient times when people weren't lazy? That sounds a little extreme, man!

[Camera zooms out]

The Mission

[Camera shows Gumball's face zoomed in; Gumball is in a space mission-like mission]

Gumball: Check-check. Okay, control, I'm going in.

Darwin: Okay. Ksh. How you feeling?

Gumball: To be honest, I'm feeling pretty lazy.

Darwin: Keep going. You're doing great.

Gumball: Something's happening. It's like no one's ever walked here before. I...I can't do it. I'm gonna turn around.

Darwin: No. You've got to keep going. You've passed the Christmas carpet stain. There won't be enough willpower to send you back.

Gumball: Okay, I'll try. Gravity pulling me down. I'm not gonna make it. I...can't...be...bothered... [Passes out]

Darwin: Abort the mission! I repeat, abort the mission!

After the Mission

Gumball: I'm sorry buddy, but it wasn't possible. Now I know why remotes were invented. [coughs]

Darwin: Here. Take this. It'll make you feel better.

[Darwin snaps a chocolate bar in half to wake him up]

Richard: [suddenly wakes up] Did I hear chocolate?

Gumball: Yes, and we'll give you some, WHEN YOU TELL US WHERE THE REMOTE IS!

Richard: No, never!

Gumball: Really? Not even for the chocolate choo-choo train? Ch-ch-ch-ch-choo-choo! Ch-ch-ch-ch-choo-choo!

[Richard is tempting to grab it with his mouth. The phone rings; they stop]

Anais: I'll get it!

[Gumball, Darwin, and Richard resume]

Nicole: Anais, I need you to tell me what brand the TV is.

Anais: Okay, but does this mean I can watch Daisy tonight?

Nicole: No. It means you won't be grounded for six months.

Anais: WHAT? But I'm four! That's like one eighth of my life!

Nicole: Then you don't want to spend it locked up in your bedroom.

Anais: Ugh! Fine!

[Scene cuts back to Richard tempting to get the chocolate bar]

Darwin: Bing-bong! The train will not be stopping at this mouth.

Richard: Okay! Okay! Just give me the chocolate and I'll tell you!

Gumball and Darwin: Yes!

Richard: [Swallows chocolate bar] But in the form of a riddle. The remote is in the valley betwixt two hills. Its name begins with a "B," ends with two "T"s, and has "U" in the middle. AND YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT! [Laughs and falls asleep]

Darwin: Oh, I know this one! I know this one!

[Gumball and Darwin go to Butt Valley: a valley with two hills]

Gumball: Dude, there's no remote here.

Darwin: Wait a minute. B-U-T-T. It's under his butt, isn't it? [Facepalms several times]

Back at Home

[Scene cuts back to Richard snoring at the house; Gumball makes Richard lean over]

Gumball: I got him! Get the remote!

[It is shown that the remote has been lost, and that there is a hole]

Richard: Aah! Where is it? I've been sitting on it all day long!

Gumball: There's only one person that could have taken it.

Darwin: Yeah, you! Because it definitely wasn't me! [Shouts as he sprays out saliva] Where did you put it?! Where did you put it?! Where did you put it?!

Gumball: Dude, say it, don't spray it!

[Richard grabs Darwin; they argue]

Gumball: Chill everybody, I meant Anais. It could only be Anais.

Darwin: Oh! 'Cause we both want to watch the same thing. Yeah, right.

Richard: Get her!

[They bust the door into the children's room]

Gumball, Darwin and Richard: Where's the remote?!

Anais: What remote?

Gumball: Right.

[They start looking for the remote, messing up the bedroom in the process]

Anais: What are you doing?!

Gumball: Look! The scissors she used to cut a hole in the sofa!

Anais: What are you talking about?!

Gumball: TELL US WHERE IT IS! [Grabs Daisy] Or Daisy won't have to worry about headaches ever again.

Anais: No, please wait! [Reveals remote] Here it is. I'm sorry.

[Gumball, Darwin and Richard smile]

Anais: But I just want you to know, I AM DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! [Smashes remote]

Gumball, Darwin and Richard: Noooooooooooooooooooo-!

Gumball: All right, Daisy's getting it.

Anais: No. There's another.

Gumball: Another what?

Anais: Another remote. Mom went downtown to buy one.

Richard: It's twenty to eight!

Gumball, Darwin and Richard: We need to get that remote!

Gumball: Thanks for the tip.

[Gumball, Darwin, and Richard run away]

Anais: Daisy!

Gumball: [Throws Daisy to Anais] Oh yeah. [Runs back] Wait. You're not coming?

Anais: I don't care about your stupid TV anymore! All I need is my Daisy.

At the Mall

[Camera fades to the mall, then cuts into the elevator]

Nicole: Gotcha.

[Ancient Chinese music begins playing. Gumball, Richard and Darwin are waiting for her at a car. Nicole runs away]

Richard: Get her!

[Gumball, Darwin, and Richard chase her. After she bounces off the minivan, Nicole grabs Richard and uses him to knock Gumball off; she uses Darwin to hinder Richard. She fights Gumball, who comes back, and spins him; and poke his nose. Richard grabs Nicole]

Richard: Get the remote!

[Gumball tries to get the remote, but Nicole jumps away from his head and gets into the car; Darwin jumps onscreen, but he knocks Richard. Nicole laughs, but can't get the car keys from her shirt pockets]

Gumball: [holding the keys outside the window] Looking for these?

[Richard pulls off the door, grabs the remote, and laughs. He runs away with Gumball and Darwin chasing him. Once he realizes this, he runs faster, but accidentally slams his head against a sign that says "MIND YOUR HEAD."]

Gumball: Thank you!

[Gumball and Darwin chuckle and run away; Richard sleeps, but he gets up all of a sudden]

Richard: No! ¡Tengo que saber si Consuela sobrevive a la operación! [Translates to: I have to know if Consuela survives the medical operation!]

[Nicole chases Gumball and Darwin]

Gumball: She's gaining on us!

[Gumball and Darwin scream; they bump into Richard, who grabs the remote]

Nicole: That remote is mine!

Richard: Then come and get it!

[Nicole runs up to him and kicks the remote away from his shirtpocket, causing the remote to fly in the air; Nicole and Richard both hinder each other and struggle to get the remote. Nicole clenches Richard's nipple, causing him to release it; Nicole fights Gumball, Darwin, and Richard for the remote. She knocks them all down, and runs toward the edge of the parking lot. Principal Brown's car gets in the way; Nicole goes through the car, Gumball and Darwin jumps over the hood of the car, and Richard simply fails to go through due to his body. Nicole runs and jumps away from the edge of the parking lot onto the top of another parking lot. Gumball and Darwin runs toward the edge also, but they realize the risk of doing Nicole's task]

Gumball: Let's take the stairs.

[They go to take the stairs; Richard carelessly jumps off the edge, bumps into the wall, and falls. Nicole is still running; Gumball and Darwin open the door]

Gumball: She's getting away!

[Nicole laughs, but finds that the gate of the parking lot is closing]

Gumball: If you leave without paying, you're setting a bad example for your children!

Nicole: I can't find the right change! [Tries to find change] Oh no. Come on. Aah! [bumps into the gate]

Gumball: Thank you for being a responsible citizen.

[Nicole sighs]

At Home

[Scene cuts to the house, with Gumball and Darwin running]

Gumball: Come on dude. "Cutie Pets" starts in five minutes.

[Richard jumps on them]

Richard ¡Paren! ¡"La Casa de las Lágrimas" comienza en cinco minutos! [Translates to: Stop! "La Casa de las Lágrimas" starts in five minutes!]

[Richard seizes the remote; Nicole runs on-screen]

Nicole: Oh no, it doesn't! "Win Or Don't Win" does!

[They fight again, arguing to get the remote]

Darwin: I'm a celebrity!

Gumball: Wait a minute!

[Gumball takes it away from them]

Richard: That's mine hey...

Gumball: This isn't a TV remote...

[As Gumball presses the buttons on the remote, Gary's garage door crushes his car]

Gary: Why?! My car!

Gumball: Dag-nabbit! It's for a garage door! What did you buy this for?!

Nicole: What? It's the one Anais told me to get.

Gumball: Why would Anais tell you to buy the wrong... remote? She planned this whole thing from the start.

[Gumball flashes back]

Gumball: First, she gave Mom the idea to buy a new remote.

Anais: I wish I had enough money to buy my own remote!

Nicole: So when I called, she must have given me the name of a garage door opener.

Anais: Fine. Let me have a look... It's a Logikar two-thousand.

Nicole: Thanks honey.

Richard: She overheard my riddle...

Darwin: I know this one!

Richard: Waited 'til you guys were at Butt Valley, and cut a hole in the sofa so she could take the real remote.

[Anais holds a pair of scissors as she is about to cut a hole under the sofa]

Darwin: And the remote she smashed upstairs must have been a decoy.

[Screen shows the remote Anais gave them was actually a calculator]

[Flashback ends]

Gumball: Which means the real one must still be in the house!

[Nicole tries to open the locked door; they see through the window that Anais is unzipping and opening her Daisy doll, revealing the remote]

Gumball: [gasps] I had it in my hands!

[Flashback returns]

Gumball: Thanks for the tip!

Anais: Daisy!

Gumball: Oh yeah.

Anais: All I need is my Daisy.

[Flashback ends; Anais waits for her Daisy show. She checks the clock, which shows 7:59.]

Anais: [flashback voice] I wish I had enough money to buy my own remote. All I need is my Daisy. It's a Logikar two-thousand. I don't care about your stupid TV anymore!

[The clock shows 8:00.]

TV: Y a continuación, el último episodio de "La Casa de las Lágrimas." [Translates to: And now, the final episode of "La Casa de las Lágrimas"]

[Anais changes the channel to the "Daisy the Donkey Show."]

Daisy the Donkey: Daisy The Donkey! LALALALALA! Daisy The Donkey! LALALALALA!

Richard: Oh, madre mia! [Translates to: Oh my goodness!] [passes out]

Nicole: I feel so proud of her, yet really scared at the same time.

Gumball and Darwin: [Banging the window] Noooooooooooo!

Darwin: Let us in!

[Anais moves her head left to right trance-like and creepily with the camera zooming in with every "Daisy"]

Daisy the Donkey​​: Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, DAISY!

[Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition