The Procrastinators/Transcript

You Are Procrastinators

[The episode starts off with Gumball, Darwin, and Nicole in the kitchen. Gumball and Darwin are shocked]

Darwin: Wait, what?

Nicole: You are procrastinators.

Darwin: What does that mean?

Gumball: Procrastinator: derived from the Mexican word, "Procratalamacion" which means midnight snack, and the viking word "Astinatar" which means puckered cheeks. It describes a person who sits on a sandwich in the dark.

Darwin: [Stares bewildered at Gumball]

Gumball: ...Of course I don't know, dude. You know how I use a dictionary.

[Flashback]

Gumball: [Closes a large dictionary while Richard is sleeping on the couch in order to scare him]

Richard: Aaaaah! [He screams his heart out, literally. Gumball hides behind the couch, mortified]

[Flashback ends]

Anais: A procrastinator is someone who always avoids their responsibilities by doing something else instead.

Gumball: Ha ha! That's ridiculous.

Nicole: Gumball, you're such a procrastinator that you were four years old before you finished your first sentence, and even then it was "I'll do it tomorrow." Look, I'm going to the grocery store. I'll be back at five, and the trash better be gone!

Gumball: Fine! We'll show you that we're not prosthetic actors.

Anais: You mean that you're not movie stars with bionic body parts?

Gumball: Pawn investigators!

Anais: It's procrastinators.

Gumball: You're such a smug face-inator.

Nicole: Hey! Stop wasting time and take out the trash, unless you want to face [Arnold Schwarzenegger voice] the Ter-mom-inator.

[Nicole walks out of the kitchen like a robot, while making buzzing noises with each step]

Nicole: I'll be back... at around five.

[Nicole walks out of the house like a robot]

Gumball: Don't worry, Mom, we'll get right on it!

Elmore Plus

[Gumball and Darwin are at the computer, eating chips]

Darwin: Shouldn't we be taking out the trash?

Gumball: Hold on, hold on. I have to moan about it on Elmore Plus first.

[Gumball types on the computer]

Gumball: [While typing] OMG GOT 2 SL@V3 AWAY TKING OUT DA TRASH . . . SMH

Darwin: Dude, you spelt "trash" right.

Gumball: Oh yeah.

[Gumball changes the "s" in trash to "$"]

Darwin: Add some little face things.

[Gumball adds a ton of emojis to his post]

Gumball: Hmm, should I add YOLO?

Darwin: What?! No, dude, have some self respect. Just put #swag.

Gumball: Alright. [Gumball types #swag] Alright, let's get on with it.

Darwin: Hold on, let's just check if anything else interesting is happening on Elmore Plus.

Gumball: Ok, but quickly.

[As Gumball clicks the mouse, half an hour passes]

Gumball: What the what!? Dude, we were only on Elmore Plus for a second and almost half an hour passed.

Darwin: Let me try.

[Every time Darwin clicks the mouse, a large amount of time passes.]

Darwin: Dude, Elmore Plus really puts the "pro" in the "procrastinating."

Gumball: It's far too dangerous. By the time we're finished, we'll have more wrinkles than a toe after a bath. We need to leave. Now!

[As Gumball and Darwin try to leave the room, the computer's presence pulls them back. Gumball and Darwin leave the room, but the appeal of the computer is too strong and pulls them through the door and right back into their seat]

Gumball and Darwin: Eh. [They continue using the computer and eating chips.]

11:30 AM

[Gumball and Darwin are in the backyard, tanning themselves]

Gumball: [In a dehydrated voice] How do I look?

Darwin: [In a dehydrated voice] Like a movie star's dad. How about me?

Gumball: [In a dehydrated voice] Awesome, like a handsome leather shoe.

Darwin: [In a dehydrated voice] Cool.

[Gumball and Darwin fan themselves. They are so tanned that the fan blows them away like dust.]

11:45 AM

[Gumball and Darwin are eating candy on the front steps of the house]

Gumball: Hey, watch this.

[Gumball throws a piece of candy in the air, which lands in his mouth]

Darwin: Eh, not bad.

[Darwin throws a piece of candy in the air. It stays in the air a lot longer than Gumball's. Eventually, it lands in his mouth]

[Gumball throws a piece of candy in the air which hits a duck. The duck falls down and lands in his mouth. The piece of candy lands in Darwin's mouth]

12:00 PM

[Gumball is playing a video game as Darwin appears onscreen doing a moonwalk and beatboxing.]

Darwin: Hee hee!

Gumball: What are you doing?

Darwin: I'm practicing my moonwalk!

Gumball: That's not how you moonwalk, dude. Watch and learn.

[Gumball walks like an astronaut on the moon]

Darwin: Dude, you're breaking the rules of the game, and the laws of physics!

Gumball: What? I can't hear you! In space, no one can hear you whine.

Darwin: Well, in space, no one can breathe without a helmet.

[Gumball pretends to suffocate, plays dead and floats.]

12:15 PM

[Gumball and Darwin are eating lunch at the table]

Gumball and Darwin: Food Fight!

[The camera turns black and white and one of their plates is shown as a battleground, from the view of a gunship. On one side there are peas, on the other sweet corn kernels.]

Darwin: [Walkie-talkie static] Pea squadron, we have visual on our carrot target.

Gumball: [Walkie-talkie static] General Spork talking, you have permission to move in!

Darwin: [Walkie-talkie static] Wait! There's a batallion of sweet corn!

[The corn and peas in the food bowl charge each other, and start killing (or rather, popping) each other]

Darwin: They are popping! I repeat, they are popping! We're getting mushed!

Gumball: [Walkie-talkie static] This is General Spork. You have ten seconds before sausage airstrike. That's ten seconds-

Darwin: [Walkie-talkie static] No, wait sir! There are peas still in their pod!

Gumball: -Five seconds…

Darwin: Abort! Abort!

[A sausage is dropped, it slowly falls down onto the "battleground"]

Gumball: Four…

Darwin: I said abort!

Gumball: Three… [The surviving peas run around the plate in a panic.] two… one…

[The sausage hits the carrot, and explodes. The screen fades to white, and then to Darwin and Gumball looking sadly at the plate, now full of mashed up food.]

Gumball: [Sorrowfully] That was nowhere near as fun as I thought it would be.

Darwin: [Sorrowfully] I think I've lost my appetite.

[Gumball and Darwin hug]

12:30 PM

[Gumball and Darwin are on the couch. Gumball is digging inside the couch cushions. ]

Darwin: What are you doing?

Gumball: I'm treasure hunting.

Darwin: Dude, there's nothing interesting down there.

Gumball: Oh, really?

[Gumball hums Also Sprach Zarathusa, while bringing out an old milk chocolate bar from within the couch]

Darwin: Eugh! That milk chocolate bar is so old, it must have turned into cheese chocolate. Just throw it away.

Gumball: Are you kidding me? Cheese and chocolate are two of my favorite things!

[Gumball attempts to eat the chocolate bar multiple times, but his body keeps rejecting it]

Darwin: Dude, stop. You clearly don't like it.

Gumball: My body just has to learn to like it.

[Gumball tries to eat the chocolate bar again. As his stomach growls, it seems like his body has finally accepted it.]

Gumball: See? Such is the power of the mind over the- [Gumball vomits up the chocolate bar whole onto Darwin's face]

1:00 PM

[Darwin is stacking up plates, bowls and other platters on the kitchen table. Gumball watches him, worried.]

Gumball: Dude, I'm not sure this is a good idea.

Darwin: I bet you a dollar that nothing breaks.

Gumball: You're on!

[Darwin reaches for a cloth under the stack of plates, bowls, and mugs and pulls it from under the stack. Nothing breaks.]

Darwin: Heh, heh! Cough up.

[Gumball takes a dollar and gives it to Darwin. The whole house collapses around them. Gumball takes back his dollar, as well as Darwin's bill, which was sitting on the table the whole time.]

Gumball: Thank you, and thank you! [Laughs, then shatters to pieces]

1:30 PM

[Gumball and Darwin are having a staring contest]

Darwin: This staring match is boring. How can we spice it up?

Gumball: Like this? [Gumball hits Darwin with his eyes] Or like thiiis!? [Gumball hits Darwin with his eyes repeatedly]

1:45 PM

[Gumball and Darwin are in the backyard, throwing around a frisbee.]

Gumball: Hey, dude, can you do this? [Gumball makes his tail go in and out of his mouth]

Darwin: No. But can you do this? [Darwin stretches his arms and waves them around, and his legs grow shorter and longer]

Gumball: Not bad. But can you do this? [Gumball "stands" using only his tail]

Darwin: Not bad, but can you do this? [Darwin makes his lips larger and smacks them]

Gumball: No. But how about this? [Gumball burrows his head into the ground. It reappears behind a fence] Oh, hi!

Darwin: [Darwin does a handstand while flapping his buttocks repeatedly] How about this?

Gumball: Yeah!? Well, can you fit your whole arm in your mouth? [Fits whole arm in mouth]

Darwin: I can fit two-and a leg! [Fits both arms, and a leg in mouth]

Gumball: How about this? [Fits torso in mouth]

Darwin: [Muffled] How about this? [Fits all limbs in mouth]

[Eventually, both Gumball and Darwin swallow themselves and disappear into thin air]

2:00 PM

Gumball: Are you ready for the fire sauce challenge?

[Gumball and Darwin each eat a spoonful of hot sauce]

Darwin: Eh, not so bad.

Gumball: Meh.

[Both begin to sweat and redden. Suddenly, Gumball's tail catches on fire like a fuse]

Gumball: [Panics, attempting to blow out the fire, until his upper body blows up like a firecracker.]

Darwin: Hehe! Some people just can't handle their hot sau- [Screams and melts into a puddle]

2:45 PM

[Gumball is on the couch reading Captain Punch, when a red dot appears. This makes Gumball act like a cat and chase the red dot, and in the process destroy or scratch up lots of items in the living room, as well as himself. Meanwhile, Darwin is outside with a laser pointer, trying to find out how it works. It is pointed towards a window of the house.]

Darwin: Nah. This laser pen is garbage.

[Darwin throws the pointer away, causing Gumball to smash through the window in his pursuit of it.]

3:15 PM

Gumball: Ok, I guess it's time.

[Gumball finally takes the trash bag from the kitchen. He uses it to smash the clock in the other room.]

Gumball: [Sighs] That clock was driving me nuts. [Throws garbage bag back in the kitchen]

[Gumball and Darwin are in the bathroom]

Gumball: Okay, who would be the best looking girl? One, two, three!

[Gumball and Darwin turn around and face the camera. They have lots of makeup on their faces]

Darwin: Hmm. You know what's missing?

Gumball: More makeup! I think mom's got some in her bed- [Elmore Plus on the computer chimes] ROOM!

[Gumball and Darwin are pulled to the computer. Their makeup is ruined. Gumball starts typing]

3:25 PM

[Gumball and Darwin are in the backyard, about to play chess with a timer.]

Gumball: Hmm...

[Gumball is arranging his chess pieces in their proper places. Darwin is bored.]

Darwin: [Sighs]

[Gumball finishes arranging his pieces]

Gumball: [Pressing a timer] Perfect.

Darwin: So, are you gonna teach me to play now?

Gumball: Yes, Darwin. But remember: chess is a very complex and strategic game. You do not play the board, you play your opponent.

Darwin: Like how?

Gumball: Like this!

[Gumball throws a chess piece at Darwin. Then they both throw chess pieces at each other]

Drawing Pictures (4:30 PM)

[Cut to the living room where Gumball and Darwin are drawing each other, with a fruit bowl on the table]

Gumball: Okay, finished! Go on, show yours.

Darwin: No, you first.

Gumball: Okay. Both at the same time.

Gumball and Darwin: Three, two, one!

[They both reveal their drawings. Gumball's drawing is a detailed sketch of Darwin. Darwin's drawing resembles a child's. There is a creepy looking clown in his drawing, and Gumball notices this]

Gumball: Dude! We were supposed to be doing portraits. Why would you add [Gumball puts down his drawing, revealing a clown outside of the window] a scary clown through the window inside [Glances at the window] of a beautiful- [Sees that the scary clown is real and closes his eyes, frightened]

Clown: [Deep voice] I've got a telegram for Gumball and Darwin Watterson. [Inhales] [Rapping] "Take out the trash, it can be done in a flash. If you can do the math, you can avoid your mom's wrath. Signed, Nicole Watterson." [Smiles, then disappears from the window]

[Gumball and Darwin look at each other, terrified]

Deleting Gumball's Elmore Plus Account (4:45 PM)

[Gumball and Darwin are finally getting around to taking out the trash, and are heading for the trash bin with it]

Gumball: Well, I guess we had to do it at some point.

[Suddenly, the computer receives a notification from Elmore Plus, which draws Gumball and Darwin back into their room through the window. The trash is brought along with them]

Gumball: That's it! I'm deleting my Elmore Plus account. [Clicks] Ok, are you sure? [Clicks] Yes. Are you really sure? [Clicks] Yes. Are you absolutely sure? Yes! [Clicks] I'm absolutely sure! For security reasons, please enter the word in the box below. Okay, uh-

[Gumball and Darwin can't read the word in the box due to it being distorted and twisted. Gumball flips the keyboard over and slams in on the desk. Somehow, the input received by this action is correct.]

Gumball: Aha! Just click confirm.

[Gumball tries to click "confirm." However, the confirm button avoids all his attempts to click on it.]

Gumball: ARGH! THIS IS HOW YOU DELETE AN ELMORE PLUS ACCOUNT! [He tries to pick up the computer monitor, but its still attatched to the tower.] Hold on. [Unscrews a VGA connector] It's got those little screws at the back. THIS IS HOW YOU DELETE AN ELMORE PLUS ACCOUNT! [Throws computer monitor out the window, a few wires snapping off as he does.] Yah!

[The monitor is drawn back towards Gumball, and it hits him in the face. The scene smashes to black just as it hits him. Cuts to the bathroom]

I'm Out of Procrastination Ideas. Or Am I?

Gumball: Oh man. I'm out of "procrastellation" ideas.

Darwin: Looks like we'll have to take the trash out after all.

[Gumball and Darwin start to sigh. Slowly but surely, their sighs begin to gain a rhythm, and they start banging on objects around the house and making music. After a short musical sequence, the microwave clock turns to five o'clock as an armpit fart sound punctuates the end of the "song."]

5:00 PM

Gumball: Oh my gosh, IT'S FIVE PM!

[Gumball and Darwin rush outside to take out the trash. But when they open the door, they run into Nicole/ The Ter-mom-inator. A red light appears on her sunglasses as she analyzes and identifies them, T-800 style.]

Nicole: [Robotic voice] Did you take out the trash?

Gumball and Darwin: Mhm. [Both smile sweetly]

Nicole: [Robotic voice] Good! Now take the groceries, and put them away!

[Gumball nods.]

Darwin: Yeah, sure.

[Nicole walks into the house and, through the living room like a robot. Gumball and Darwin hide the trash bag. Suddenly, Nicole notices something and turns towards them. Gumball pushes the trash bag from Nicole's sight with his foot, Nicole just pats Gumball, and then continues walking away. Both sigh in relief. The garbage truck outside leaves]

Darwin: [Gasps] We're cooked!

Gumball: Not yet!

Taking Out The Trash

[Gumball and Darwin rush outside, accidentally taking the grocery bag instead of the trash bag. Gumball chases the garbage truck down the street in slow motion. He runs into a bus stop sign, causing the bag to fly out of his hands, and eventually into the garbage truck. In celebration, Gumball and Darwin jump up in the air and freeze frame (the screen irises out somewhat). The scene then cuts to the family sitting at the dinner table, eating the trash for about ten seconds.]

Richard: Uh, can I have some more of the sports section, please?

Nicole: [Sighs] Can someone please explain to me how this happened?

Gumball: [Smiles sheepishly] Uh... wrong bag.

[Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition