The Pizza/Transcript

The Worst Day Ever

[The episode starts with the whole Wattersons family going inside their house. They are complaining noisily]

All: Worst day ever!

[Then they sit on the couch. Its legs break due to their combined weight. They all grunt angrily]

Nicole: Richard, it's your turn to make dinner! The only thing I feel like serving up today is a knuckle sandwich!

Richard: Gumball, it's your turn to make dinner!

Gumball: Why!?

Richard: Because I'm too angry to think of a valid excuse!

Gumball: Darwin, make dinner!

Darwin: Why me?

Gumball: Because- [Hisses like an alien monster, showing his teeth and fangs]

Darwin: Anais-! [Anais slaps Darwin]

Richard: Look. We've all had a difficult day. What we need is a balanced meal with meat and vegetables. I'm thinking tomatoes, and ham served on a bread base for a slow release of energy with melted cheese on top because dairy products are good for growing children's bone structure. It should minimize dish washing, and be round in shape negating any sharp edges to avoid oral injuries.

Gumball, Darwin, Nicole and Anais: Oh, yeah. Pizza.

Richard: Dagnabbit, I thought I just invented a new food. I was gonna call it "The circular half-sandwich with stuff on it." [Sigh] I guess my greatest invention will remain the potato sticks fried in oil.

Nicole: [Walks over to phone] Okay, then, we'll get pizza delivered. [Literally punches in numbers angrily]

Anais: I think you're still a little bit intense, Mom. You shouldn't touch anything for a while and let Dad do it.

Pizza Time

Richard: Okay, have you got it?

Larry: Yes. We have a family sized pizza with one-fifth margherita, one-fifth vegetarian, one-fifth surf, one-fifth turf, and one-fifth mega meat. None of the fifths can be cooked in the same oven, but must be an identical temperature on delivery.

Richard: And a toy.

Larry: I'm sorry sir. We don't do toys.

Richard: AND A TOY.

Larry: I guess I can run by the toy store. Your pizza will be there in forty-five minutes.

Richard: [Stomach growls] I don't have forty-five minutes! Faster!

Larry: Fine. If I skip my break, I can be there in half an hour. [Richard's stomach growls again] FINE. If I run the red lights, I can be there in fifteen minutes!

Richard: [Stomach growls approvingly] That is acceptable.

Larry: That'll be nine ninety-nine, and would you look to add a tip?

Richard: Nnnn-I don't know. Does it taste good?

Larry: No, sir. I mean do you want to pay a good utility, for service and in compensation for the half-hour long order you just made?

Richard: Do I have a choice?

Larry: Always, sir!

Richard: Great! Then no! [Hangs up phone] We're getting a pizza, and I saved us money! This day just got as twice as good!

Waiting for the Order

[Outside, the Doughnut Sheriff drives into the Watterson's trashcans. Then he drives away. The Wattersons, all bored, wait for their pizza]

Gumball: Ugh! This is taking forever.

Nicole: Be patient, boys. It's only been sixteen minutes. Let's take our minds off it. [Switches on TV]

Kip Schlezinger [On TV]: Good evening. Our biggest story tonight is of course the sudden spike in random aggression in Elmore. To illustrate the situation, here's a pie chart. [Points to pie chart]

Richard: [Stomach growls] Turn it off! Pie charts make me hungry!

Nicole: [Switches off TV] Why don't we all tell each other about our day, and why we got upset in the first place. I'll go first. I was on my way to work [Transitions into a flashback. Nicole's car is being checked by Larry on the side of the road] when the car broke down.

Larry: Well, the damage is only superficial. [Closes car hood] So it shouldn't cost more than a hundred dollars.

Nicole: A hundred dollars? [Breaks headlight] EXCUSE ME!?

Larry: Better make that two-hundred.

Nicole: WHAT? [Breaks windows]

Larry: Uh, five-hundred?

Nicole: WHAT? [Whole car falls apart]

Larry: [Yelps, whispers] Seven-fifty?

Nicole: Before I do what I'm about to do, I want you to know this is not your fault. You're just doing your job, but someone has to suffer for what happened and unfortunately you're the only one around. [Inhales deeply. Her head suddenly grows big, and she begins yelling at Larry in a deep, threatening voice] YOU ARE A WORM! YOU'RE A THIEVING, BOTTOM-FEEDING, MONEY-GRABBING CROOK! PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE SQUEEZING THE VERY LAST CENT OUT OF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES! YOU'RE THE REASON ICE CAPS ARE MELTING AND BABY POLAR BEARS ARE HOMELESS! [Returns to normal, sighs in relief] I think that's all there was. Here. [Hands Larry the money]

Larry: Uh. Would you like to add a tip?

Nicole: Sure, a little extra twelve percent? [Inhales deeply, and her head grows again. She resumes shouting at Larry] YOU'RE A WORTHLESS MAGGOT, A POINTLESS LITTLE--

[Flashback ends]

Nicole: Anyway, I feel much better now. [She sees her family pushing away her head with a table (which has become large)] Oh. Sorry. A little too much in the moment there. [Head shrinks to normal]

Gumball: [Groans] Where's the pizza? I'm so hungry I'm beginning to digest myself. [He pulls up his shirt to reveal a hole in his stomach. The hole begins consuming Gumball's head]

Still Waiting

[Outside, the Doughnut Sheriff's car is on fire but continues to move on its own. The Wattersons continue to wait in boredom and hunger. Richard sighs, and looks at his family. He repeatedly sighs]

Nicole: Alright, fine! Richard, how was your day?

Richard: I don't want to talk about it!

Nicole: Richard, you obviously want the attention.

Richard: Fine, if you all insist. [He waits. The rest of the family glares at him] …Come on. Insist!

Gumball: Just tell the story already!

Richard: Alright. So, I was in the burger joint-

[Flashback to Richard ordering food at the front of a line]

Richard: Five double cheeseburgers, and three cookies and cream shakes.

Larry: Sir, please! You just ingested twelve-thousand calories an hour ago! To burn that off, you would literally have to catch fire. I can't in good conscience serve you another meal before you exercise!

Richard: But I did exercise.

Larry: [Whispers] Sir, I saw you. You just walked outside, stared at your watch for an hour, and walked straight back in.

[Richard sighs, and walks away. Suddenly he jumps onto the counter, and drinks a shake directly from the dispenser]

Larry: Sir, stop that! [Richard grabs bottles of ketchup and mustard and begins eating them] Sir, you need to leave! You've had enough!

Richard: I'll tell you when I've had enough! [Continues consuming condiments]

Larry: Sir! I'm gonna have to ask you to pay for that! [Richard throws money at Larry] Huh. I'm sorry, but it's company policy to ask. Would you like to add a tip?

[Richard stops eating and walks over to the counter. He takes all the straws, rips off part of their wrappers, and blows the remaining wrappers at Larry. Then he runs away]

Larry: Okay.

[Flashback ends]

Darwin: Well, the customer is always right. So even though you were very clearly in the wrong, you were in the right.

Gumball: Ugh! WHERE'S THE PIZZA!?

[He looks at Darwin, and sees him as a sausage]

Darwin: What?

Gumball: I'm so hungry I'm starting to hallucinate.

[Darwin shakes his head, and sees Gumball as a handbag]

Darwin: I'm so hungry I can't even hallucinate right.

[Nicole (as an ice cream), Richard (as a hamburger), Gumball (still as a handbag), Darwin (still as a sausage), and Anais (as a cupcake) all sigh]

And Still Waiting

[Tobias runs and screams as he is chased by biker gangs. There is fire, and an explosion behind the Watterson's house. The family still waits, unaware of the situation in the outside world. Then the lights fluctuate]

Gumball: Well. Since the pizza still hasn't arrived, I might as well tell you why we're in such a bad mood. So, earlier on, we went to the video store…

[Flashback. Gumball, Darwin and Anais wait in a line at Laser Video]

Gumball: Exactly what I'm saying, dude! These days, the trailers show you the whole thing, apart from the end credits.

Darwin: Yeah! What's the point of watching the whole movie when you already know what happens in it? It's like going up to this guy [Gestures to Dr. Butt] and saying "Oh, you know that movie about the wizard kid under the stairs? Well, at the end the bearded dude gets iced by the goth guy.

[Dr. Butt farts in anger]

Anais: Or like that one with the asthmatic robot who turns out to be the laser samurai's dad.

[Sussie's Mom rips off her hair, screams, and walks away]

Gumball: Yeah! Or at the end of the planet in the monkeys when we realize that it was Earth all along.

Tony: [Drops down on knees] You maniacs! GOSHDARN YOU! [He tries to get up, but is stuck. He rolls away]

Larry: Guys, please! You're killing my business here.

[Gumball, Darwin and Anais look behind them and notice that everyone is gone]

Gumball: Dude, there's no one here.

Anais: You need to rethink your financial motto. No one rents DVDs anymore.

Larry: Then what are you doing here?

Gumball: [Hands Larry his payment] Supporting my favorite store!

Larry: Well, how 'bout a tip?

Gumball: [Takes money from the tip jar] Well, sure. Thank you. Hey, look, a twenty.

Larry: GET OUTTA HEEE-

[Flashback ends]

Gumball: What kind of store bans its own customers?

All: [Sigh] Worst day EVER!

Anais: …Wait. Do you know who really had the worst day ever?

Richard, Gumball, Darwin and Nicole: Me!

Anais: No, guys. Who really suffered all day?

Richard, Gumball, Darwin and Nicole: Me.

Anais: No! Who always puts up with us without ever getting any respect or gratitude?

Richard, Gumball, Darwin and Nicole: Oh. Me!

Anais: NO! Who's the person who's probably spitting in our pizza because of how we've all treated him?

Richard, Gumball, Darwin and Nicole: …you?

Anais: NO! LARRY! It's Larry, guys.

[Gumball, Darwin, Nicole, and Richard all mumble, not knowing who Larry is]

Anais: The guy that does every job in this town.

Gumball: Ohhh. Barry!

Nicole: I always thought he was called "Harry."

Richard: Wait. Mary is a man?

Anais: [Sighs and facepalms] I think this man deserves an apology. [Dials pizza phone number]

Larry [Through phone]: Welcome to Fervidus Pizza. Unfortunately we cannot take your call right now, because… [Angry] Er-because I can't take it anymore! I have only one thing left to say to you, Elmore! [Normal] Try our family deals for five dollars, ninety-nine. [Despairing] Goodbye, Elmore! I quit. [Hangs up phone. At that moment, the electricity goes out. A siren is heard. It turns out to be Richard wailing]

Richard: We're never gonna get our pizza!

Anais: No, this is really bad! This town doesn't function without Larry.

Gumball: Let's not panic. How bad can things get in fifteen minutes?

[He draws the curtains covering a window, and reveals a scene of total chaos, anarchy and the apocalypse of Elmore. People scream and Gary runs from cube dogs as cars bump into each other and explode. A passenger plane crashes and explodes. A tiger jumps onto a vulnerable Marvin. At once, Gumball covers the window]

Gumball: Okay, I think we'd better apologize to Larry.

Elmore-pocalypse

[The family starts their car, but fails]

Nicole: Someone's siphoned down all of our gas!

Gumball: I think they took a little more than that.

[Their car breaks down. Citizens steal the remains of the car in a flash]

Gumball: Well, I-I guess we'll just have to…um…

[Richard pretends to start up a car, and they all move with him. They run across the wreckage of the town]

Gumball: How can things get this bad?

Anais: This is what happens when Larry's on strike!

[Sal Left Thumb steals a television. He stops as Gumball talks to him]

Gumball: Wait! Think for a second. Stealing TVs in the middle of the apocalypse? Can't you see how wrong and stupid this is?

Sal Left Thumb: Yeah, you're right! There's no TV signal! [Steals more equipment] Thanks, kid.

[He runs off only to be tackled by the Doughnut Sheriff. The family cheers for him]

Donut Cop: [Cuffs Sal] I'll have that, [Grabs TV] thank you very much.

Anais: What! Aren't you supposed to fight crime?

Donut Cop: Larry also worked as the police force accountant. I haven't been paid, so goshdarn you all!

[He gets in his car, and drives off only to crash into the window of a store. He then throws an object at the remains of the window, and gets inside. Richard begins grabbing things]

Gumball: Dad, what're you doing?

Richard: I'm getting provisions for our life in the broken world. You'll thank me when you're sleeping in your comfy canoe. [Grabs a canoe and a mattress]

Anais: Can't we just sleep on the mattress?

Richard: No way! That's our emergency raft in case the town floods.

Anais: Oh, come on! We don't have time for this. We have to find Larry before things get worse.

Darwin: How can they get any worse?

Gumball: How about a plague of locusts?

Darwin: A whaaaa?

Gumball: [Panicking] Locusts!

[The family runs away, and takes cover as a swarm of locusts fly by them]

Anais: This is turning apocalyptic!

Darwin: No. It's just that Larry was in charge of pest control. [Notices something] Guys, it's Principal Brown! I think he might be hurt!

[Brown is lying facedown on the ground. Darwin walks to him]

Darwin: Principal Brown? Are you alive?

[He doesn't move, but amongst the wreckage there is movement]

Darwin: Principal Brown?

Gumball: No, Darwin! It's an ambush!

[Principal Brown gets up, and scares Darwin. He has markings on his face, and goggles in place of glasses]

Nigel Brown: I am no longer Principal Brown. I am the eagle of the rooooost!

[Leslie, Alan, Tobias, and Carmen's father emerge from the wreckage around. Jackie moves out of the ruined vehicle, clinging bottles, and Harold emerges from the vehicle, trying to growl and charge at the Wattersons, although he is held back by his collar from Jackie]

Gumball: AH! What do you want!?

[The twisted citizens advance slowly to the family, but are stopped by Mr. Small's megaphone. He stands atop a heap of wreckage]

Mister Small​​​​: This is our territory, and you are now our prey.

Gumball: What? Are you planning to eat us?

[Mr. Small jumps down, and approaches them]

Mister Small​​​​​​​​​​​: Yes, I ran out of tofu and soy milk. So you guys aren't on any antibiotics, are you? If I have to eat meat, I want it to be organic.

All: [Gasps]

Gumball: Are you serious!?

Mister Small​​​​​​​​​​​: I'm sorry. But it's survival of the fittest.

Nicole: Good. Then you won't mind me doing this.

[She grabs Mr. Small, and flings him on Harold and Jackie, knocking them out. Then she grabs Leslie, bites off a petal and uses his pot like a mace, taking out Carmen's dad. Nicole howls, and throws Leslie down. She punches Principal Brown and sends him flying to a vehicle windshield]

Alan​​​​​​​​​​​: Hey!

Nicole: HUH?

[Alan backs away. Nicole then blows, and he gets popped by a sharp part of Harold’s hair]

All: YEAH!

Apologies

[In one portion of Elmore, Larry sadly looks down at his empty tip jar and breathes heavily. Then the Wattersons come to him. They are dressed as if it was the apocalypse]

Larry: Why are you guys here? And why are you dressed like that?

Gumball: Because, it's the apocalypse! And because… well, it-it's the apocalypse.

Anais: Society collapsed as soon as you resigned.

Larry: But that was only twenty minutes ago.

[In the distance, a large explosion followed by a mushroom cloud occurs]

Gumball: Yeah, and that's all the time it took for us to realize our mistake. We needed to be reminded of how precious you are. So this is for you, Gary.

[He puts a hundred-dollar bill into Larry's tip jar]

Larry: A hundred-dollar bill? Thank you.

Gumball: Yeah. Don't get too excited. Without you, there is no business and since nothing was being bought, which ruined the economy and forced up inflation, this one-hundred dollar bill can probably just about get you a rat burger, or a kick in the teeth.

Larry: Still, it came from the heart. But in that case, this pizza now costs nine-thousand dollars.

Nicole: Do you mind if I write you a roadkill check?

Larry: Sure! We now also accept payment in uranium, antibiotics, and melee weapons.

[Nicole gives Larry a check]

Richard: And here's your tip.

[He hands over some rats which scares Larry. Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition