Terrible Family

Nigel Brown: So, Mr. and Mrs. Watterson. I called you in today to discuss concerns regarding your daughter Anais. Judging by this alarming painting... [Camera points to Nicole in the painting] You madam are suffering from work-related stress. [Camera switches to Richard in the painting] You sir, are not a good role model. [Camera pans to Gumball and Darwin in the painting] And these two children are clearly lacking in discipline.
[Scene cuts to the shot of the Wattersons, all of them acting out exactly what the painting depicts]
Gumball and Darwin: Hahaa!
Nicole: Kids calm down, please! [crashing]
Nigel Brown: When I look at this painting I see a family that- [pauses to glare at Gumball and Darwin, who are mockingly copying him] A family that has problems.
Anais: Principal Brown, if I may interrupt-
Nigel Brown: [strokes Anais' head] Oh don't worry sweetie, it's not your fault... It's your fault! [points accusingly at Richard, who's fast asleep]
Richard: [in his sleep] I'm sorry Princess Cheesecake, the Sausage Fairy made me do it. [snores]
Nicole: Sweetie, I had no idea we were such a terrible family.
[Gumball and Darwin slide along Principal Brown's desk, giggling]
Nicole: Boys please!
Nigel Brown: Anyway, for the good of your family... [raises a poster] I've drawn up a recovery schedule to get you back on track-
[Gumball and Darwin burst through the poster]
Nigel Brown: I'll make it short. You madam need to stop working and relax. Your husband needs to stop relaxing and work. As for you, Gumball and Darwin...
[The boys both gasp as they think they're in trouble]
Nigel Brown: You'll be spending the day with Mr. Small, the school counselor, to channel your energy in a less destructive way.
Nicole: Well Principal, we'd be happy to try anything if you think it's going to help Anais.
Anais: [frustrated] Can I just say something?
Nicole: [cuts Anais' speech short and pinches her cheek] You don't need to sweetie! We're all going to get better. Right boys?
Gumball and Darwin: Uh-huh.
Nicole: [louder and angrier, directed at the still snoozing Richard] I said, "Right boys?!"
Richard: [wakes up] Yes! Of course, honey. [whispers to Gumball] What did I just agree to?
Gumball: [whispers back] You gotta get a job.
Richard: [obviously not happy] Nooooooooo!
Nicole: [Richard is still screaming] Well, thank you Principal Brown, we'll do our best.
[The family leaves, but Richard is still in the room screaming]
Richard: Noooooo!
[Principal Brown looks around nervously, Richard's screaming begins to die down when Principal Brown looks at him]
Nigel Brown: Uh, Mr. Watter-
[Richard starts screaming again]

Gumball and Darwin part 1

[The scene transitions to a large room, where Mr. Small instructs Gumball and Darwin]
Mister Small​​​: Welcome to my five-step program for undisciplined children. Step one: Primal Scream!
Gumball and Darwin: What's that?
Mister Small​​​: It's when you channel all your rage into a violent vocal release! Like this: [screams along with a violent echo] DAAAAAAHHHHH!
[Darwin jumps into Gumball's arms, they're both frightened]
Mister Small​​​: You guys try it.
Gumball: I don't think I have any rage.
Darwin: Me neither.
Mister Small​​​: [leans over and pats Gumball's head] Everyone has anger, Gumball, just look inside yourself and find it.
Gumball: Inside? [opens up his mouth very wide, which makes his voice sound muffled] Do you see anything?
[Darwin looks into Gumball's mouth]
Darwin: [echoes] Uh, no, nothing at all.
Mister Small​​​: Try it anyway.
Gumball: Okay. [takes a deep breath] Peewww!
Mister Small​​​: Oh, you can do better than that!
Gumball: [takes another deep breath] Eeeeheeeeawww!
[Gumball's lips sputter and droop, he shakes his head back to normal]
Mister Small​​​: Okay, Darwin, your turn. Take a deep breath, and let it all out.
[Darwin takes a deep breath, he begins to blow an enormous bubble. The bubble presses against Mr. Small, then he pops it. The scene abruptly changes to stock footage of a black and white house exploding, with a loud kaboom. The scene is then brought back to the lesson, Mr. Small and Gumball are both smeared by the explosion while Darwin smiles sheepishly, a high-pitched ringing is heard as well, suggesting they were deaf for a moment]

Nicole part 1

[The scene goes to the Wattersons' house]
Nicole: Okay Nicole, relax. It's for the good of my daughter, so I'm just going to sit and do nothing. [looks around apprehensively] Oh, this is going to be hard.

Richard part 1

[The scene changes to a building in downtown Elmore, Richard is standing around in the office with some fellow employees]
Richard: So, how about those FK Reports that Simon drew up?
Charlie: Oh yeah, I was reading them in the bathroom.
Richard: Too much information, Charlie!
[Charlie sadly walks away as the other two employees laugh]
Lenny: [laughs] I think you're the best employee we've ever had at Chanax Incorporated. Here's the key to the executive washroom. [hands the key to Richard]
Richard: [gasps and echoes] No way!
[The scene begins to fade, revealing it was only a dream sequence and Richard is standing outside of the building]
Richard: Well, all I have to do is make that dream come true and I'll be fine. [His eyes burning with a full-fire background] I'll do it for you, my little girl! [his stomach gurgles] ...and need that key to the executive washroom.
[Richard charges at the automatic doors, but they do not open]
Richard: Ohh...
[Lenny and Paperball leave the building, then stop and laugh at Richard groaning as the doors close]
Richard: [grunts, charges to the doors quickly but gets hit again. When Richard places his right foot near the doors, they open. But when he places his foot very near to the doors, they close. Richard does this a few times then he plans a better idea]

Gumball and Darwin part 2

[The scene transitions back to the school]
Mister Small​​​: Step two! We need to channel your destructive energy into something creative. Like painting!
Gumball and Darwin: Oh, okay!
Mister Small​​​: When you think about painting, do you think about something like this? [points to a framed portrait of Mr. Robinson wearing a wig]
Gumball and Darwin: Yeah!
Mister Small​​​: Well... YOU'RE WRONG! [slams the painting onto the floor and begins to hit it with a baseball bat] This is not painting! This is not painting! This! Is! Not! Painting! [drops a lit match onto the now destroyed painting] Burn! You relic of convention! [stomps out the fire, then holds up a paint can] Who wants to go first?
Gumball: [enthusiastically] Me! Me, me, me! Pick me!
[Mr. Small throws paint all over him]
Mister Small​​​: The world is your canvas; now be the brush!
[Gumball's eyes open and get burnt by the paint]
Gumball: [screams] My eyes! It burns! [smashes into the walls crying and then slips]
Mister Small​​​: Not bad. Your turn Darwin. [dumps paint on Darwin]
Darwin: [screams with high-pitch] It burns!

Nicole part 2

[The scene goes back to the Watterson residence, Nicole is furiously scrubbing the kitchen floor]
Nicole: Whew! So, that's the whole house washed, the car triple waxed, I've bleached the fruit, alphabetized the fridge and all its contents, and I've polished my cleaning products. Five hours before anyone gets home. [begins to glance around, then knocks over a vase] Whoops! Oh, how silly of me, well I guess I'll have to clean that up. Oh, there goes another one! Oh, what am I like?

Richard part 2

[The scene cuts to Richard, who is still outside the office building]
Richard: Come on Richard! You. Can. Do it!
[Richard runs at the automatic doors again, they don't open, he discovers that doors are deliberately closing when he tries to enter]
Richard: Duuh! [walks away in frustration]
Paperball: [confused] Huh? What are you-
Richard: Shh! Keep walking. [finally passes through the doors] Woohoo!

Gumball and Darwin part 3

[The scene transitions to the school again. Mister Small, Gumball, and Darwin are all wearing interpretive dance costumes]
Mister Small​​​: Step three. Interpretive Dance.
Gumball: What is interpretative dance?
Mister Small​​​: It's where you channel your emotions through body moves!
Gumball: That sounds kinda' silly.
Mister Small​​​: [offended] Silly? You think this is silly? [he begins his interpretive dance] Mommy! Why must you work so much? Daddy, arise from your slumber, and appreciate me... I'm troubled! Troubled and loooosst... Don't hate me, because I'm beautiful! Sticks and stones can break; my bones. I will be reborn! Like a phoenix. [holds the 'x' in phoenix for a long time]
Gumball: Yep. That was kinda' silly.
Darwin: [with teary eyes] I thought it was beautiful!
Mister Small​​​: Now, it's your turn. Come on Gumball!
Gumball: Alright. [he does a simplistic dance]
Darwin: [still teary eyed] Whoa! Amazing Gumball!
Mister Small​​​: Now, pretend you're a hungry crab.
[Gumball does a crab walk]
Mister Small​​​: Hungrier!
[Gumball gets scared and begins to hold his stomach]
Mister Small​​​: Now, be the colour orange!
[Gumball does a pose]
Mister Small​​​: That's yellow! I said orange! [Gumball does the same pose facing another direction] That's it.

Richard part 3

[Scene cuts to the office building, Richard is inside attempting to open the elevator doors to apply to a job, half of him gets clipped in the closing elevator doors]
Richard: [very strained] Hi, my name is Richard Watterson. I'm here for the job.
Receptionist: Good afternoon Mr. Watterson, this is your contract, please sign here, here and here.
[Richard signs the paper]
Receptionist: And here's your pink slip.
Richard: What does that mean?
Receptionist: It means you're seven hours and fifty-nine minutes late, and you're fired.
Richard: Oh. [The receptionist lifts Richard's finger off the counter, making him go back into the elevator] Thank you for your kindness. Bye!
[The elevator doors close and Richard grunts as his lips are painfully stretched]

Gumball and Darwin part 4

[The scene cuts back to the school]
Mister Small​​​: Step four of your five step program, where you'll learn that the greatest enemy to a warrior of happiness is... [does a martial arts technique and holds out a board depicting a person with its hand covering its genitalia] Inhibition!
Gumball and Darwin: Hai! Small-sensei.
Mister Small​​​: Destroy this negative feeling!
[Gumball comes forth and lets out a battle cry before smashing the board to no avail]
Mister Small​​​: Again! [Gumball tries again] Again! [Gumball tries again] No, no... [impatiently] Come on! Destroy those inhibitions!
Gumball: [in pain] I'm trying!
Darwin: Don't worry buddy, I'll help you! [shrieks and runs towards the board with a bat]
Mister Small​​​: Wha- [gets scared and hides in the closet]
Darwin: Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo inhibitions! [catches breath] Shooooo! We did it Mr. Small!
[Mr. Small looks relieved and walks back over to them]
Mister Small​​​: Oh! Very good kids. You're now black belts in Small-Kwon-Do. And remember boys: When the monkey looks at the mountain...
Gumball and Darwin: He is looking for bananas.
Mister Small​​​: Dismissed.
[The duo starts to scuttle out the door]
Gumball: Wait a minute! What about step five?
Mister Small​​​: [laughs] The fifth step was within you all along; just be yourselves.
Gumball: Weak.

Whole Family's Here

[The scene transitions to the Wattersons', Nicole is destroying nearly everything in the living room]
Nicole: [crazed] Oh, oh no, it's broken! How will I ever clean it all up? [laughs] I feel so relaxed!
[Richard walks inside and rips off his shirt before sitting on the couch]
Richard: I never want to work again! It was horrible! [whines and then falls asleep]
[Gumball and Darwin walk in]
Gumball: Hi mom!
Nicole: Oh, hi kids. How was your day?
Darwin: We had loads of fun!
Gumball: We learned to dance, scream, paint, [with Darwin] and smash stuff!
Nicole: Smash stuff?! That sounds interesting!
[Anais and Principal Brown are standing outside the door]
Nigel Brown: So, let's see what positive effect my program has had on your barbaric family.
Anais: [angrily] Principal Brown! Can I just say-
Nigel Brown: Oop! There's nothing to worry about sweetie. Now, say hello to your all-new, healthy, responsible family!
[Principal Brown opens the front door and presents the new and improved Wattersons, all of whom are acting completely out of their minds]
Nigel Brown: What is going on here?! [Everybody freezes] You've made no progress whatsoever!
[Everyone begins blaming each other except Anais]
Anais: [loudly] Excuse me! [Everyone all stops arguing] If you'd listened for a second, you'd have known I never wanted anyone's change.
Nicole: But, I thought you were unhappy honey! That painting?
Anais: That painting says, "I love my family" exactly as they are.
[Anais giggles happily and skips over to Richard, who rubs her head lovingly]
Richard: Does that mean I don't have to go back to work?
Anais: Uh huh.
Richard: Yes! [falls asleep]
Anais: Can I play with you guys now?
Nicole: Of course, there you go honey. [hands a vase to Anais]
Anais: Hai-yah! [smashes it on the floor, everyone goes crazy again]
Nigel Brown: Well, good job everyone... I'll let myself out. [leaves but soon comes back] Oh, and you'll go back to your normal class tomorr- [Darwin dumps paint on him]
Darwin: Be the brush!
Nigel Brown: It burns...
[Episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont.png Transcript
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TheDVDSeason1.png TheResponsibleSeason1.png TheThirdSeason1.png TheDebtSeason1.png
Episode 1
The DVD
Episode 2
The Responsible
Episode 3
The Third
Episode 4
The Debt
TheEndSeason1.jpg TheDressSeason1.png TheQuestSeason1.png TheSpoonSeason1.png
Episode 5
The End
Episode 6
The Dress
Episode 7
The Quest
Episode 8
The Spoon
ThePressure Season1.png ThePaintingSeason1.png TheLaziestSeason1.png TheGhostSeason1.png
Episode 9
The Pressure
Episode 10
The Painting
Episode 11
The Laziest
Episode 12
The Ghost
TheMysterySeason1.png ThePrankSeason1.png TheGiSeason1.png TheKissSeason1.png
Episode 13
The Mystery
Episode 14
The Prank
Episode 15
The Gi
Episode 16
The Kiss
TheParty Season1.png TheRefundSeason1.png TheRobotSeason1.png ThePicnicSeason1.png
Episode 17
The Party
Episode 18
The Refund
Episode 19
The Robot
Episode 20
The Picnic
TheGoonsSeasonOne.png TheSecretSeason1.png TheSockSeason1.png TheGeniusSeasonOne.png
Episode 21
The Goons
Episode 22
The Secret
Episode 23
The Sock
Episode 24
The Genius
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Episode 25
The Poltergeist
Episode 26
The Mustache
Episode 27
The Date
Episode 28
The Club
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Episode 29
The Wand
Episode 30
The Ape
Episode 31
The Car
Episode 32
The Curse
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Episode 33
The Microwave
Episode 34
The Meddler
Episode 35
The Helmet
Episode 36
The Fight
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Episode 1
The Remote
Episode 2
The Colossus
Episode 3
The Knights
Episode 4
The Fridge
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Episode 5
The Flower
Episode 6
The Banana
Episode 7
The Phone
Episode 8
The Job
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Episode 9
Halloween
Episode 10
The Treasure
Episode 11
The Apology
Episode 12
The Words

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TheBetSeason2.png ChristmasSeason2.png TheWatchNavbox.png
Episode 13
The Skull
Episode 14
The Bet
Episode 15
Christmas
Episode 16
The Watch

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Episode 17
The Bumpkin
Episode 18
The Flakers
Episode 19
The Authority
Episode 20
The Virus
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Episode 21
The Pony
Episode 22
The Hero
Episode 23
The Dream
Episode 24
The Sidekick
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Episode 25
The Photo
Episode 26
The Tag
Episode 27
The Storm
Episode 28
The Lesson

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ThePromiseSeason2.png
Episode 29
The Game
Episode 30
The Limit
Episode 31
The Voice
Episode 32
The Promise
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Episode 33
The Castle
Episode 34
The Boombox
Episode 35
The Tape
Episode 36
The Sweaters
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Episode 37
The Internet
Episode 38
The Plan
Episode 39
The World
Episode 40
The Finale
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TheKidsSeason3.png TAAGDSpage1.png CoachisAWOMAN.png The joy revealed.png
Episode 1
The Kids
Episode 2
The Fan
Episode 3
The Coach
Episode 4
The Joy
ThePuppySeason3.png TheRecipeSP4.png Tnam15.png TheExtrasSeason3.png
Episode 5
The Puppy
Episode 6
The Recipe
Episode 7
The Name
Episode 8
The Extras
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Episode 9
The Gripes
Episode 10
The Vacation
Episode 11
The Fraud
Episode 12
The Void
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Episode 13
The Boss
Episode 14
The Move
Episode 15
The Law
Episode 16
The Allergy
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Episode 17
The Mothers
Episode 18
The Password
Episode 19
The Procrastinators
Episode 20
The Shell
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Episode 21
The Burden
Episode 22
The Bros
Episode 23
The Mirror
Episode 24
The Man
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Episode 25
The Pizza
Episode 26
The Lie
Episode 27
The Butterfly
Episode 28
The Question
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Episode 29
The Saint
Episode 30
The Friend
Episode 31
The Oracle
Episode 32
The Safety
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Episode 33
The Society
Episode 34
The Spoiler
Episode 35
The Countdown
Episode 36
The Nobody
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Episode 37
The Downer
Episode 38
The Egg
Episode 39
The Triangle
Episode 40
The Money
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Episode 1
The Return
Episode 2
The Nemesis
Episode 3
The Crew
Episode 4
The Others
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Episode 5
The Signature
Episode 6
The Check
Episode 7
The Pest
Episode 8
The Sale
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Episode 9
The Gift
Episode 10
The Parking
Episode 11
The Routine
Episode 12
The Upgrade
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Episode 13
The Comic
Episode 14
The Romantic
Episode 15
The Uploads
Episode 16
The Apprentice
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Episode 17
The Hug
Episode 18
The Wicked
Episode 19
The Traitor
Episode 20
The Origins
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Episode 21
The Origins: Part Two
Episode 22
The Girlfriend
Episode 23
The Advice
Episode 24
The Signal
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Episode 25
The Parasite
Episode 26
The Love
Episode 27
The Awkwardness
Episode 28
The Nest
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Episode 29
The Points
Episode 30
The Bus
Episode 31
The Night
Episode 32
The Misunderstandings
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Episode 33
The Roots
Episode 34
The Blame
Episode 35
The Slap
Episode 36
The Detective
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Episode 37
The Fury
Episode 38
The Compilation
Episode 39
The Scam
Episode 40
The Disaster
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Episode 1
The Rerun
Episode 2
The Stories
Episode 3
The Guy
Episode 4
The Boredom
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Episode 5
The Vision
Episode 6
The Choices
Episode 7
The Code
Episode 8
The Test
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Episode 9
The Slide
Episode 10
The Loophole
Episode 11
The Fuss
Episode 12
The Copycats
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Episode 13
The Potato
Episode 14
The Outside
Episode 15
The Vase
Episode 16
The Matchmaker
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Episode 17
The Box
Episode 18
The Console
Episode 19
The Ollie
Episode 20
The Catfish
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Episode 21
The Cycle
Episode 22
The Stars
Episode 23
The Grades
Episode 24
The Diet
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Episode 25
The Ex
Episode 26
The Sorcerer
Episode 27
The Menu
Episode 28
The Uncle
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Episode 29
The Weirdo
Episode 30
The Heist
Episode 31
The Singing
Episode 32
The Best
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Episode 33
The Worst
Episode 34
The Deal
Episode 35
The Petals
Episode 36
The Nuisance
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Episode 37
The Line
Episode 38
The List
Episode 39
The News
Episode 40
The Puppets
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Episode 1
The Rival
Episode 2
The Lady
Episode 3
The Sucker
Episode 4
The Vegging
One Lightning.png The Father (121).png Cringe Awkwardness.png The Cage (11).png
Episode 5
The One
Episode 6
The Father
Episode 7
The Cringe
Episode 8
The Cage
TheNeighbor GumballDarwin&ThisGuy.png TwoGamboliesOneTheater.png The Faith (100).png Candidate Leak8.jpg
Episode 9
The Neighbor
Episode 10
The Anybody
Episode 11
The Faith
Episode 12
The Candidate
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Episode 13
The Pact
Episode 14
The Shippening
Episode 15
The Brain
Episode 16
The Parents
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Episode 17
The Founder
Episode 18
The Schooling
Episode 19
The Intelligence
Episode 20
The Potion
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Episode 21
The Spinoffs
Episode 22
The Transformation
Episode 23
The Understanding
Episode 24
The Ad
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Episode 25
The Ghouls
Episode 26
The Stink
Episode 27
The Awareness
Episode 28
The Slip
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Episode 29
The Drama
Episode 30
The Buddy
Episode 31
The Possession
Episode 32
The Master
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Episode 33
The Silence
Episode 34
The Future
Episode 35
The Wish
Episode 36
The Factory
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Episode 37
The Agent
Episode 38
The Web
Episode 39
The Mess
Episode 40
The Heart
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Episode 41
The Revolt
Episode 42
The Decisions
Episode 43
The BFFS
Episode 44
The Inquisition
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