What is the Mailman's Name?
- [The episode begins with a fire hydrant and a mailbox in the street with the same colors of Gumball and Darwin]
- Gumball: [Off-screen] I don´t know dude, I don't think this camouflage is working, and it's getting really hot in this.
- [Gumball and Darwin are then shown wearing large winter coats, both of them sweating]
- Darwin: What? I thought it might snow.
- Gumball: It's June.
- Darwin: Why are we doing this anyway?
- Gumball: Because it's getting embarrasing. We keep bumping into our neighbor and we don't even know his name.
- Darwin: You mean Mr. Robinson?
- Gumball: No, the other one.
- Darwin: [Thinking] Mrs. Robinson?
- Gumball: No, the guy who lives on the other side, you know. [Places his hands over his head to indicate antlers]
- Darwin: A really small person playing a normal-sized piano? A normal-sized person playing a really tall piano? [Thinking] Someone big... who...the sky tickler!
- Gumball: [Angrily] No, him!
- [Gumball points angrily to Gary, who is watering the grass in his garden]
- Darwin: Oh, yeah. No, I don´t know that guy's name.
- Gumball: Exactly, we don't know it and we're running out of ways to get away with it.
- [Flashback to Gumball and Darwin walking in front of Gary´s house while he is seen sweeping the sidewalk]
- Gary: Hey Gumball, Darwin.
- Gumball: Hello...sir.
- Gary: Come on now, I've known you for years, you don´t need to call me sir. You can call me by my name. [He leans over his broom waiting to be called by his name]
- Gumball: Yes we can, and we will definitely do that... next time. [He and Darwin walk away]
- [Transition to another flashback. Gumball and Darwin are walking past the railroad crossing. Gary is walking over the crossing when one of his grocery bags rips open and spills beans everywhere]
- Gary: Oh, gosh darn it.
- [As he begins to pick up the beans, Gumball and Darwin hear the horn of an oncoming train. They both gasp]
- Gumball: Look out, Mister....uhh, mister...mister...uhhh...
- Darwin: Mister... [Thinks as the train gets closer]
- Gumball: Mister mister? Mister...uhh, mister? Mister [???]
- [The train gets even closer]
- Darwin: Oh man, I wish I knew his-
- [The train passes by, crushing both Gary and the beans. Some of the beans splatter on Gumball and Darwin]
- Darwin: We'd better call him the paramedics.
- Gumball: Why? I´m pretty sure the paramedics is not his name.
- Darwin: No, I mean call a doctor.
- Gumball: I don't wanna be awkward when they ask us what he's called.
- [In another flashback, Gumball and Darwin are in class while Principal Brown speaks to them]
- Nigel Brown: And here to talk about his job is the town's mailman, mister-
- [Gumball and Darwin gasp and jump out the window]
- Darwin: [Beaten] Maybe we should have waited. Principal Brown was about to tell us his name.
- Gumball: [Beaten] Yep, I panicked.
- [Cut back to present time. Gary is standing behind Gumball and Darwin with a package in his hands]
- Gumball: Yeah, remember this time? This was really awkward.
- Darwin: [Whispers] This isn't a flashback.
- [Gumball looks behind him and notices Gary. Both he and Darwin run away]
- Gary: Wait up, I got a package for ya!
Awkward Delivery
- [Gumball and Darwin run inside their house and slam the door shut. Both of them catch their breath for a moment]
- Darwin: We can't avoid it any longer. We're going to have to ask him his name.
- Gumball: Are you insane? You're forgetting about the window.
- Darwin: Uh-uh. I am not jumping through any more windows. I'm still finding bits of window frame in my gills from the last time.
- Gumball: No, I'm talking about the brief window of opportunity where it's socially acceptable to ask someone what their name is. After the third time you've met someone, that window closes. And every time you see them after that, the window gets another lock on it, another bolt, another shutter. At this point, our window with that guy would be harder to open than a ski store in the Sahara.
- [Gary rings the doorbell]
- Gary: What about your package?
- Gumball: [Looks through peephole to see Gary] What's he trying to deliver, anyway?
- Richard: It's probably for me. [Richard is shown on the couch looking very fatigued, growing white hair and extremely long fingernails, and with several jars on the floor around him] I don't know that guy's name, either. I've just been avoiding him by not leaving the house and getting everything delivered.
- Darwin: But isn't he the mailman?
- Richard: I didn't think it through.
- Gumball: And what's with the jars? You don't need to leave the house to go to the bathroom.
- Richard: Didn't think that through, either.
- Gumball: Right, we need to find out his name without him realizing. [Opens the door]
- Gary: Hey, Gumball.
- Gumball: Hello, misterrr...
- Gumball: [In his mind while prolonging saying "mister"] Okay, Gumball, just keep going until you see a look of recognition on his face.
- Gumball: ...Smith...Brian...Peter...Sam...White...Steven...Son...Da-David...
- Darwin: [laughs, pushes Gumball to the side as he continues saying names] I'm so sorry about my friend, Mister, uh...man...
- Gary: I guess I'll just leave it with the others.
- [Gary sets the package down amidst several other boxes. He slowly backs away as Gumball and Darwin continue incomprehensibly saying names]
The "Perfect" Crime
- [At night, Gumball and Darwin walk next door to Gary's mailbox]
- Darwin: Isn't it illegal to go through someone's mail?
- Gumball: What's worse, being locked in a prison, or being locked in a prison of social awkwardness? [Opens Gary's mailbox and sticks his hand inside] Jackpot!
- Darwin: Isn't it weird that a mailman leaves mail in his own mailbox?
- Gumball: I guess some people don't like to take their work home with them. [Starts reading the letters] To the occupant, to whom it may concern, to the resident, to the homeowner, to the bill payer, for your attention, sir, madam, sir, to the birthday boy? Ah, come on! [Notices Darwin is pushing all the letters into a paper shredder] What are you doing?
- Darwin: Destroying the evidence.
- Gumball: But we could've just put it back in the mailbox!
- Darwin: Good idea. [Takes the shredded letters and places them all back inside the mailbox, then flips the flag on the mailbox up] The perfect crime.
- [Gumball looks at Darwin disapprovingly]
Sign Here, Please
- [At the mall, Gumball and Darwin are both waiting for Gary to walk by. Gumball is wearing very tall, messy hair, and Darwin is wearing a Jamaican hat and a small goatee. Soon enough, Gary walks by]
- Gumball: Excuse me, would you like to sign our petition?
- Gary: Uh, I'm sorry, [As he walks past, Darwin falls over] I don't have time to- [Trips over Darwin]
- Gumball: Thank you for stopping, please sign here. [Shoves clipboard into Gary's face]
- Gary: [Gets up] Um, I don't really-
- Darwin: Hey, if you can just write your name, please. Full name, nice and clear, black capitals, big as you can.
- Gary: What's it for?
- Gumball: Uh, the mayor is gonna knock down the library to build a...
- Darwin: A hospital.
- Gary: Oh. That doesn't sound so bad.
- Gumball: Yeah, but then he's gonna knock down the hospital to build a...
- Darwin: An orphanage!
- Gary: Again, not so bad.
- Gumball: But then he's gonna knock down the orphanage and build a...luxury apartments! Luxury apartments.
- Gary: That's terrible! Give me that! [Snatches clipboard from Gumball and prepares to write his name, but then stops] No, wait, we need direct action, and we need it now! [Runs off with the clipboard]
- [Gumball growls and pulls the fake hair off. Darwin does the same, revealing a large afro under his hat. As they walk away, the mayor is seen reading a newspaper. He then lowers it and calls someone]
- Mayor of Elmore: It's the mayor here. I've got an idea. We're gonna knock down the library and build a hospital. No, no, that's just step one.
Rushed Romance
- [At the park, Gary is feeding the pigeons. Alison passes by]
- Gary: Morning.
- Alison: [Mumbles to greet him]
- [As soon as Alison walks offscreen, Gumball pushes her onto the bench next to Gary]
- Alison: Hey!
- Gary: What the-
- [Darwin brings in a radio and begins playing an arrangement of the "Romeo and Juliet Overture." Gumball and Darwin make Gary and Alison face each other. Gumball runs off while Darwin makes both of them rest their hands on each other, and then he runs off. Gumball comes back with a dinner table decorated with candles, and then runs off again. Darwin returns with a plate of spaghetti and sticks the ends of a noodle in Alison and Gary's mouths. The music changes to an Italian-themed cue, and Gumball comes back briefly playing an accordion. He tosses it away, and he and Darwin both push Gary and Alison's heads closer together. The boys run off again, with Gumball pulling away the tablecloth, plates, and candle. Darwin returns with a cup and a bottle of soda. Gumball comes back with a wedding ring and drops it into the cup. Darwin fills the cup with soda, then empties it on Alison's hand. As he does this, Gumball moves Alison's hand underneath the cup, and the ring ends up on her finger. The boys run offscreen with the table and park bench as Alison blushes at Gary. Darwin briefly runs behind Gary and kicks the back of his knee, causing him to kneel. Gumball comes back and positions Gary's hand on Alison's, then nods Alison's head. Darwin places a top hat on Gary's head, while Gumball places a bridal veil on Alison. Darwin positions Gary to stand up, and changes the music to the wedding march. Gumball returns to act as the minister]
- Gumball: Okay, wedding vows! Go!
- Alison: Uh, I hereby state that I, Alison Sandra Gator, do take you as my lawful wedded husband.
- Gumball: Okay, your turn! Go!
- Gary: Uh... I hereby state that I...
- Gumball: Yes!
- Gary: I...
- Gumball: Yes!
- Gary: I...
- Gumball: [Makes a high pitched squeal] YES!!
- Gary: I think this is all happening too fast! [Throws top hat to the ground, runs away]
- Gumball: [Throws book to the ground] Gosh darn it! [He and Darwin angrily walk away]
- Alison: People say you're meant to mourn a relationship for half the amount of time you were together. [Stares at her watch for a few seconds] I'm done.
Mail for the Mailman
- [Gumball and Darwin, both dressed as mailmen, approach Gary's front door. They both give each other smug looks. As Gumball sticks a newspaper through Gary's mail slot, Darwin picks up a garden gnome on his porch. Gumball wraps it in newspaper, gives it to Darwin, and rings Gary's doorbell]
- Gumball: Package delivery. [Gary opens the door] Sign here.
- Gary: What? But I'm the mailman for this neighborhood. Why didn't anybody tell me I'd been replaced? [Starts crying. His tears run down his face and onto the clipboard] Decades of experience: worthless. Thrown in the scrap heap like garbage.
- Gumball: Yeah, if you could just, uh-
- Gary: How am I gonna find another job at my age?
- Gumball: [Moves Gary's hand to the clipboard] You could just... sign here.
- [Gary signs whilst crying. Gumball takes the clipboard, gives him the wrapped gnome, and then backs away with Darwin]
- Darwin: Did we get it?
- [The clipboard is shown, but all of the writing is smudged due to Gary's tears]
- Gumball: Nope, nothing makes handwriting harder to read than an old man's tears.
- [Gary, still crying, unwraps the gnome]
- Gary: And I already got one of these! [Goes inside, still crying]
The Discovery
- [Gumball is seen putting up a poster of Gary, with text reading "Do you know this man?"]
- Darwin: There must be something we haven't tried.
- Gumball: I've been braining so hard my think hurts. [Shakes his head]
- Darwin: Wait, I know! If we had amnesia, we could tell him we forgot his name and it wouldn't be embarrassing.
- Gumball: Great! How do you get amnesia?
- Darwin: We hit each other on the head.
- Gumball: Wait, how are we gonna remember that we tried this?
- Darwin: Write it on your arm.
- [Gumball pulls back his shirt sleeve, revealing he has written amnesia on it three times, with the first two being crossed out]
- Gumball: Hm, that explains the headache.
- [A black car then rolls up next to Gumball and Darwin. Someone inside it speaks to them in a gruff Russian accent]
- Russian Agent: Hey, you two. That guy on your poster.
- Gumball: You know his name?
- Russian Agent: Let's just say he's an "old friend."
- [Meanwhile, Gary is seen at the mall collecting mail from its mailbox. Gumball and Darwin suddenly rush up behind him with large smiles. Gary screams]
- Gumball and Darwin: [Through gritted teeth] Hello. Harry Gedges.
- Gary: Who told you that was my name?
- Gumball: Pfft, we've always known it. [Chuckles] Obviously.
- Gary: [Yells] Who told you that name?
- Darwin: Uhh, those guys? [Points to the Russian Agents' car as it rolls up]
- Gary: [Gasps] They found me. I don't know how, but they found me.
- [The Russian Agents' car window rolls down, and their sunglasses then do in the same way. Gumball and Darwin then notice Gary running away]
Evading the Agents
- [As Gary is running through the mall, Gumball and Darwin run up alongside him]
- Gumball: Wait, what's wrong with calling you "Harry Gedges," Harry Gedges?
- [Gary runs into an opening elevator]
- Gary: Because that's my real name!
- Gumball: Yeah, we know it is, Harry Gedges.
- [As the elevator closes, Leonard Daniels is thrown out]
- Leonard Daniels: Ooh. I don't mind.
- [Gary presses all the elevator buttons, then hits the emergency stop button. He then climbs out the top of the elevator while Darwin speaks]
- Darwin: Like we're always saying, "good morning Harry Gedges," "how are you doing Harry Gedges," "happy birthday Harry Gedges."
- Gary: Stop saying it!
- Darwin: Why, Harry Gedges?
- [Gumball, Darwin, and Gary climb up the elevator shaft]
- Gary: That's not the name I've been using.
- Gumball: What do you mean, Harry Gedges?
- [Gary runs out of the mall's roof exit, with Gumball and Darwin close behind]
- Gary: I've been living under a pseudonym for the last twenty years!
- Darwin: Looks more like a fedora, Harry Gedges.
- [The three jump from the mall's roof to another building]
- Gary: Not my hat! A pseudonym is a fake name! [He, Gumball, and Darwin are seen clinging onto the bottom of a moving truck] It was given to me by the witness protection people when they moved me to Elmore for my own safety.
- Gumball: Why, Harry Gedges?
- [The three are then seen riding a gondola in the mountains]
- Gary: I testified in court against some very bad people. And ever since then, I've had to live under the fake name that you know me by.
- [Gumball and Darwin stare at Gary for a few moments]
- Gumball: Which is mister...B- [Darwin slaps Gumball]
- Darwin: No! We don't know your name, alright? tell us what it is.
- Gary: Wait, you don't know my name? We've been neighbors since you were born. If my life wasn't in immediate danger I'd be really hurt right now. [Sighs] It's Gary Hedges.
- [Gumball and Darwin both look at him with realistic dog snouts on their faces]
- Gary: I'm outta here.
- [He, Gumball, and Darwin cross to the gondola next to their current one]
- Gumball: So let me get this straight. Real name is Harry Gedges, and your fake name is Gary Hedges? [The three then end up in the sewers outside Gary's house] That's not very imaginative.
- Gary: [Lifts up hubcap] I didn't choose it! [They all enter Gary's house] Okay, there's no way those guys could have followed us.
- Darwin: [Pulls back curtain] Who, those guys?
- [The Russian Agents slowly pull up near Gary's house. One of them reads the poster Gumball put up earlier. He continually unfolds it, with each new fold containing more info on where Gary lives]
- Russian Agent: "Do you know this man? He lives at ten twenty-four York Street. Here's a map. This is the house. If the front door is locked there is a key under the gnome."
- Gary: How on earth did they find out where I live?
- Gumball and Darwin: [Awkwardly] Uh, lucky guess?
- Gary: [Sighs] Then I got no choice. I'm gonna have to skip town and leave behind my new life and beautiful home.
- Gumball: [Slides his finger along an extremely dusty table] I think beautiful's overselling it.
- Darwin: Dude, not the time!
- Gumball: [Cleans his finger on the back of Gary's shirt] Yeah, sorry. Ah! I got it. You don't have to skip town if they think you're [Slides his thumb past his neck and makes a squishing sound]
- Darwin: I don't think pretending he's a duck is gonna help.
- Gumball: No, they'll leave if they think he's already kicked the bucket. I know exactly what to do.
The "Death" of Gary
- [The Russian Agents exit their car. One of them growls. Inside the house, Gary is nervously packing his clothes and a passport into a suitcase. Behind him, Gumball and Darwin put a dummy resembling Gary in the window]
- Gary: Genius!
- [Gary begins handling the dummy, and the Russian Agents hear his voice]
- Gary: Oh no, I was just cleaning the windows and now I have lost my balance! I hope there is no tragic consequence!
- [Gary throws the dummy onto a power line, causing it to get electrocuted. The dummy falls to street. As the Russian Agents prepare to draw their weapons, a car drives by running over the dummy. The agents continue to draw their weapons, but then a semi carrying empty cars drives by, running over the dummy even more. The agents retract their weapons, but at that moment, the empty cars on the semi's trailer come loose. The cars roll backward, running over the dummy again. The agents draw their weapons again, but the empty cars reach an incline and roll back downhill, once again running over the dummy. The agents stare at the motionless dummy before shrugging, returning to their car, and driving off. As they drive away, the run over the dummy. Once they are out of sight, Gary emerges from the bushes]
- Gary: Ha! It worked! Throwing that dummy out of the window was a great idea! Now I get to keep my life and my beautiful home!
- Gumball: Yeah, it wasn't supposed to fall out of the window. It was meant to look like you were in the house when it-
- [Gary's house suddenly explodes. Gary stares at the fiery mess, shocked and disheartened]
- Gumball: This might not be the best time to ask, but, would you rather we call you Harry Gedges or Gary Hedges?
- Gary: I'd rather you never talk to me again.
- [Episode ends]
v • e Transcript
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| Episode 1 The DVD |
Episode 2 The Responsible |
Episode 3 The Third |
Episode 4 The Debt |
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| Episode 5 The End |
Episode 6 The Dress |
Episode 7 The Quest |
Episode 8 The Spoon |
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| Episode 9 The Pressure |
Episode 10 The Painting |
Episode 11 The Laziest |
Episode 12 The Ghost |
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| Episode 13 The Mystery |
Episode 14 The Prank |
Episode 15 The Gi |
Episode 16 The Kiss |
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| Episode 17 The Party |
Episode 18 The Refund |
Episode 19 The Robot |
Episode 20 The Picnic |
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| Episode 21 The Goons |
Episode 22 The Secret |
Episode 23 The Sock |
Episode 24 The Genius |
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| Episode 25 The Poltergeist |
Episode 26 The Mustache |
Episode 27 The Date |
Episode 28 The Club |
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| Episode 29 The Wand |
Episode 30 The Ape |
Episode 31 The Car |
Episode 32 The Curse |
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| Episode 33 The Microwave |
Episode 34 The Meddler |
Episode 35 The Helmet |
Episode 36 The Fight |
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| Episode 1 The Remote |
Episode 2 The Colossus |
Episode 3 The Knights |
Episode 4 The Fridge |
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| Episode 5 The Flower |
Episode 6 The Banana |
Episode 7 The Phone |
Episode 8 The Job |
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| Episode 9 Halloween |
Episode 10 The Treasure |
Episode 11 The Apology |
Episode 12 The Words |
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| Episode 13 The Skull |
Episode 14 The Bet |
Episode 15 Christmas |
Episode 16 The Watch |
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| Episode 17 The Bumpkin |
Episode 18 The Flakers |
Episode 19 The Authority |
Episode 20 The Virus |
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| Episode 21 The Pony |
Episode 22 The Hero |
Episode 23 The Dream |
Episode 24 The Sidekick |
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| Episode 25 The Photo |
Episode 26 The Tag |
Episode 27 The Storm |
Episode 28 The Lesson |
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| Episode 29 The Game |
Episode 30 The Limit |
Episode 31 The Voice |
Episode 32 The Promise |
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| Episode 33 The Castle |
Episode 34 The Boombox |
Episode 35 The Tape |
Episode 36 The Sweaters |
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| Episode 37 The Internet |
Episode 38 The Plan |
Episode 39 The World |
Episode 40 The Finale |
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| Episode 1 The Kids |
Episode 2 The Fan |
Episode 3 The Coach |
Episode 4 The Joy |
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| Episode 5 The Puppy |
Episode 6 The Recipe |
Episode 7 The Name |
Episode 8 The Extras |
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| Episode 9 The Gripes |
Episode 10 The Vacation |
Episode 11 The Fraud |
Episode 12 The Void |
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| Episode 13 The Boss |
Episode 14 The Move |
Episode 15 The Law |
Episode 16 The Allergy |
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| Episode 17 The Mothers |
Episode 18 The Password |
Episode 19 The Procrastinators |
Episode 20 The Shell |
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| Episode 21 The Burden |
Episode 22 The Bros |
Episode 23 The Mirror |
Episode 24 The Man |
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| Episode 25 The Pizza |
Episode 26 The Lie |
Episode 27 The Butterfly |
Episode 28 The Question |
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| Episode 29 The Saint |
Episode 30 The Friend |
Episode 31 The Oracle |
Episode 32 The Safety |
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| Episode 33 The Society |
Episode 34 The Spoiler |
Episode 35 The Countdown |
Episode 36 The Nobody |
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| Episode 37 The Downer |
Episode 38 The Egg |
Episode 39 The Triangle |
Episode 40 The Money |
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| Episode 1 The Return |
Episode 2 The Nemesis |
Episode 3 The Crew |
Episode 4 The Others |
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| Episode 5 The Signature |
Episode 6 The Check |
Episode 7 The Pest |
Episode 8 The Sale |
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| Episode 9 The Gift |
Episode 10 The Parking |
Episode 11 The Routine |
Episode 12 The Upgrade |
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| Episode 13 The Comic |
Episode 14 The Romantic |
Episode 15 The Uploads |
Episode 16 The Apprentice |
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| Episode 17 The Hug |
Episode 18 The Wicked |
Episode 19 The Traitor |
Episode 20 The Origins |
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| Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two |
Episode 22 The Girlfriend |
Episode 23 The Advice |
Episode 24 The Signal |
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| Episode 25 The Parasite |
Episode 26 The Love |
Episode 27 The Awkwardness |
Episode 28 The Nest |
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| Episode 29 The Points |
Episode 30 The Bus |
Episode 31 The Night |
Episode 32 The Misunderstandings |
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| Episode 33 The Roots |
Episode 34 The Blame |
Episode 35 The Slap |
Episode 36 The Detective |
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| Episode 37 The Fury |
Episode 38 The Compilation |
Episode 39 The Scam |
Episode 40 The Disaster |
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| Episode 1 The Rerun |
Episode 2 The Stories |
Episode 3 The Guy |
Episode 4 The Boredom |
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| Episode 5 The Vision |
Episode 6 The Choices |
Episode 7 The Code |
Episode 8 The Test |
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| Episode 9 The Slide |
Episode 10 The Loophole |
Episode 11 The Fuss |
Episode 12 The Copycats |
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| Episode 13 The Potato |
Episode 14 The Outside |
Episode 15 The Vase |
Episode 16 The Matchmaker |
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| Episode 17 The Box |
Episode 18 The Console |
Episode 19 The Ollie |
Episode 20 The Catfish |
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| Episode 21 The Cycle |
Episode 22 The Stars |
Episode 23 The Grades |
Episode 24 The Diet |
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| Episode 25 The Ex |
Episode 26 The Sorcerer |
Episode 27 The Menu |
Episode 28 The Uncle |
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| Episode 29 The Weirdo |
Episode 30 The Heist |
Episode 31 The Singing |
Episode 32 The Best |
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| Episode 33 The Worst |
Episode 34 The Deal |
Episode 35 The Petals |
Episode 36 The Nuisance |
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| Episode 37 The Line |
Episode 38 The List |
Episode 39 The News |
Episode 40 The Puppets |
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| Episode 1 The Rival |
Episode 2 The Lady |
Episode 3 The Sucker |
Episode 4 The Vegging |
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| Episode 5 The One |
Episode 6 The Father |
Episode 7 The Cringe |
Episode 8 The Cage |
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| Episode 9 The Neighbor |
Episode 10 The Anybody |
Episode 11 The Faith |
Episode 12 The Candidate |
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| Episode 13 The Pact |
Episode 14 The Shippening |
Episode 15 The Brain |
Episode 16 The Parents |
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| Episode 17 The Founder |
Episode 18 The Schooling |
Episode 19 The Intelligence |
Episode 20 The Potion |
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| Episode 21 The Spinoffs |
Episode 22 The Transformation |
Episode 23 The Understanding |
Episode 24 The Ad |
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| Episode 25 The Ghouls |
Episode 26 The Stink |
Episode 27 The Awareness |
Episode 28 The Slip |
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| Episode 29 The Drama |
Episode 30 The Buddy |
Episode 31 The Possession |
Episode 32 The Master |
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| Episode 33 The Silence |
Episode 34 The Future |
Episode 35 The Wish |
Episode 36 The Factory |
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| Episode 37 The Agent |
Episode 38 The Web |
Episode 39 The Mess |
Episode 40 The Heart |
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| Episode 41 The Revolt |
Episode 42 The Decisions |
Episode 43 The BFFS |
Episode 44 The Inquisition |