Complaining About Homework[]
- [The school bell rings. The students walk out of Miss Simian's class groaning]
- Gumball: I just don't understand the concept, shouldn't we have covered everything during the school day? Homework is like going to the bathroom and then coming back with a doggy bag.
- Lucy Simian: Fill out a form and put it in the suggestion box.
- Gumball: Hmm, I get it. You think I'm too lazy to go through the administrative motions. Well, just watch me.
- [Gumball writes a suggestion on a piece of paper and puts it in the box, only for it to be destroyed by a shredder below. Miss Simian smiles]
- Gumball: [Sighs] Where do I file a complaint about the suggestion box?
- Lucy Simian: Please post it in the complaint box. [Grins]
- Gumball: And where's that?
- [The scene changes to a mailbox in the middle of the desert surrounded by two skeletons]
The Best Years of Your Life[]
- [In the hallway, Bobert scans his homework and almost instantly fills it in]
- Bobert: Homework complete. [Closes his locker]
- Gumball: [Sighs] He's got his homework done in two point four seconds when it's gonna take us two-point-forever! People say your school days are the best years of your life. That's like a guy stuck in a sausage grinder saying "It's okay" when it was only his fingers caught in the machine.
- Darwin: What are you talking about?
- Gumball: Sometimes I wish I could just go straight to the end of the process.
- Darwin: What? Like going full sausage?
- Gumball: No, just be an adult already.
- Darwin: Yeah, but then you have to get a job, and file your taxes, and pay your taxes, and understand taxes...
- Gumball: No, I mean, I just want to skip the whole hassle of life. You get it, right, Bobert?
- Bobert: Computing request. [Playing Gumball's request] "I just want to skip the whole hassle of life." Command integrated. Terminating Gumball's life.
- [Bobert shoots a laser at Gumball's head, causing it to disappear. Gumball's head grows back and he puts out the fire on top of it]
- Gumball: Could you take things any more literally?!
- Bobert: [Loads] Computing... Negative. My processor cannot take things anymore literally.
- Darwin: He didn't actually mean it. Like, what would you do if someone asked you to give them a hand?
- [Bobert grabs Darwin's hand and is about to cut it with a circular saw, but Gumball stops him]
- Gumball: Alright! Alright! Stop! Bobert's really dangerous. He's a potential killing machine! We should set him some rules. I mean, think of the danger he represents for himself and others – for society, for animals. Think of the children, Darwin. The precious children. The children.
- Darwin: This is just some thinly veiled excuse to avoid doing your homework, isn't it?
- Gumball: Yup.
- Darwin: [Sighs] Thank goodness. I was looking for one too. Shall we go?
- Gumball: Yeah, come on. Let's bounce.
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- [Bobert starts bouncing as Gumball grabs his arm and pulls him away]
Making the Rules[]
Preventing Injury[]
- [The scene cuts to the Wattersons' house, in Gumball and Darwin's bedroom]
- Gumball: Okay, let's set Bobert some simple rules so he can't hurt anyone. Bobert, as a rule, you must never raise your hand against anyone.
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- Gumball: How do we know it worked?
- Darwin: Bobert, try to hurt Gumball.
- [Bobert kicks Gumball in the knee, sending him to the floor]
- Gumball: Ow! What was that?!
- Bobert: Directive followed. No hand was raised during the hurting process.
- Gumball: Okay, you're not allowed to raise any part of your body to hurt anyone.
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- Darwin: Good. Now try to hurt Gumball.
- [Gumball stands up, only for Bobert to headbutt him. Gumball gains a black eye]
- Gumball: AH! Come on, man!
- Bobert: Directive followed. No part of my body was raised during the hurting process.
- Gumball: Okay. [Sigh and stands up] You're not allowed to raise or lower your body to hurt anyone.
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- Darwin: Now try to hurt Gumball.
- Gumball: Dude, please just–
- [Bobert charges into a bruised Gumball, somehow sending him a year back. In the past, Gumball is aiming a bow at the opened window with his tooth attached to the arrow (as seen in "The Spoiler"). Just as he is about to fire, Future Gumball crashes through the door into him and Darwin]
- Past Darwin: Ow! What the–
- Gumball: [Muffled voice] Sorry, guys. Bobert knocked me into last year. Just do your thing, I'll wait this one out.
- [Gumball sits on the bed and watches them. Past Gumball and Darwin get up while nervously staring at him. Past Gumball, without aiming, fires the arrow at the ground. Gumball returns to the present]
- Gumball: Okay. You may not move at all to hurt anyone.
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- Darwin: Perfect... Now try to hurt Gumball.
- Gumball: No, please! Huh, it worked.
- Darwin: Aw, I knew you'd get there in the end!
- [They laugh. Suddenly, Gumball starts coughing and his face becomes deformed]
- Gumball: What did you do?!
- Bobert: Directive followed. I am emitting concentrated radioactive waves.
- Darwin: Well, stop!
- Gumball: Wait, maybe it'll give me some kind of super– [Gags and coughs out his tongue; it runs in circles until he catches it and punches it back in place] Sorry, carry on.
- Darwin: Alright, how's this: Bobert, you can never hurt anyone in any way, or let them be hurt.
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- Gumball: Now, hurt Darwin! [Hides behind Bobert]
- [They wait for a moment, nothing happens]
- Darwin: There, now everyone's safe.
- [Darwin walks out of the room while Gumball glares at him]
Choking Hazard[]
- [Darwin opens the pantry and takes a bag of peanuts]
- Gumball: So?
- Darwin: Still nothing.
- Gumball: He's probably microwaving some part of you that will cause your kids to be born without skin.
- Bobert: Negative. The directive prevents me from hurting anyone in any way.
- Gumball: Hm, shame. Definitely was your turn to get it in the neck.
- Darwin: Who could hurt such a pretty face? [Makes a baby face. Throws a peanut into his mouth and starts choking]
- Gumball: A-ha! Finally! It's not nice when you're the one getting hurt, is it? Is it really bad? [Panicking] Wait, it is really bad, isn't it? Oh my gosh, he's choking!
- [Gumball is about to slap Darwin's back, but Bobert grabs his hand]
- Gumball: What are you doing?!
- Bobert: I cannot let anyone get hurt. In clearing his airways, you may bruise his spinal area.
- Gumball: You do it, then!
- Bobert: Negative. I cannot hurt anyone.
- Gumball: Okay, no rules. Just save him!
- Bobert: Command integrated. In what manner would you like Darwin to be saved?
- Gumball: It doesn't matter, just pick one!
- [Bobert lifts Darwin and his hand extends to send air inside of him. The air causes Darwin to inflate, but successfully rids him of the obstructing food. Each time he opens his mouth, he deflates a little. This happens four times]
- Gumball: Why on Earth would you choose such an undignified method?!
- Bobert: I used a random algorithm in accordance to your command.
- [Gumball touches Darwin, causing him to pop]
Enforcing the Law[]
- [Gumball, Darwin and Bobert go to the mall]
- Gumball: Okay, new rule. How about you just uphold the law? It was created by the most brilliant minds, so what could go wrong?
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- [Bobert shoots a laser beam at Miss Simian nearby, who loses all of her hair]
- Gumball: Dude, I said uphold the law!
- Bobert: According to the law in New Mexico, females are forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
- Gumball: Seriously? I mean, that is pretty funny but– Seriously, what don't you understand? Why are you taking everything so lit– [Bobert walks away] Where is he going now?
- [Gary slurps his soup loudly. Bobert's arm turns into a gun-like weapon and points to Gary's head]
- Bobert: According to the law in New Jersey, it is illegal to slurp your soup.
- [Gary starts screaming, but Bobert's arm changes into an even more complex weapon]
- Bobert: In North Carolina, it is illegal to sing off-key.
- [Gary's scream becomes auto-tuned]
- Guard 2: Drop your weapon, or I'll have to use mine! [He mimics a gun with his finger; Bobert bends it backwards]
- Bobert: Do you have a license for that goatee?
- Guard 2: Huh?
- Bobert: [Ripping the guard's goatee] In Massachusetts, goatees are illegal without a license. [Throws the goatee onto Billy's face]
- Billy: Mother, I'm hirsute!
- Bobert: [Shoots a laser at Billy's lollipop] Lollipops are also banned.
- Gumball: Bobert, stop it!
- Bobert: Obstruction of justice.
- [Bobert prepares to shoot Gumball but Darwin pushes him out of the way. Bobert fires on the roof instead]
- Bobert: Bobert destroyed public property. Engaging penalty. [Tasers himself] Bobert committed aggravated assault on Bobert. Engaging penalty.
- Gumball: Stop, stop, stop! Just don't uphold the law.
- Bobert: Command integrated. [Steals Betty's purse]
- Betty: Hey!
- Bobert: [Runs away] You'll never catch me! [Crashes into something offscreen]
Protecting Life[]
- Darwin: Bobert is really dangerous. I guess science-fiction was right, robots are bound to destroy us all.
- Bobert: Analyzing problem. The most logical solution would be to terminate myself. Deleting System thirty-two...
- Gumball: Stop it! [Slaps Bobert] You're being hysterical!
- Bobert: [Slaps Gumball] You stop it. You are being illogical!
- Darwin: You cannot just terminate yourself.
- Bobert: It is the most rational solution.
- [Gumball stands up, disfigured by Bobert's hit]
- Gumball: No. [Puts his face back into place] No! All life must be protected, including yours.
- Darwin: That's it! Bobert, new brand directive. Protect life at all costs.
- Bobert: Command integrated.
- [A car drives near Bobert. He holds it back to let some ants cross the road]
- Bobert: Command followed. All life on Earth should be preserved: human, animal, insect, even virus.
- Gumball: It works! We did it!
- [Gumball and Darwin start laughing, but quickly turn to crying. They walk away.]
- Gumball: Now there's no excuse to dodge our homework.
- [Bobert begins to analyze different situations]
- Bobert: Scanning for threat to life on Earth. [Sees a car] Threat found. Carbon footprint excessive. [Harold crosses the road on a hoverboard] Threat found. Alternative transport, absurd. [Juke removes a pair of scissors from many different packages] Threat found. Levels of packaging unacceptable. Really unacceptable. Totally idiotic. [Spots Melted Cheese Guy] Threat found. Calculating cubic meters of methane produced. Threat level: obscene. Compiling data... Primary threat to life on Earth detected: mankind.
Society Collapses[]
- Gumball: [Sighs] If Bobert's not gonna help us with our homework, there's only one thing we can do.
- Darwin: Do it ourselves?
- Gumball: Pshh, no. Find someone online to do it for us. [Types on his phone] That's weird, there's no Internet.
- Mister Small: No, you're saying it the wrong way. It's pronounced quinoa!
- Larry: It is pronounced quinoa!
- Mister Small: Quinoa!
- Larry: Quinoa!
- Mister Small: Fine. I guess we'll have to settle this the new-fashioned way.
- [Both pull out their phones and start typing furiously]
- Mister Small: Huh, that's weird. No network.
- Larry: Me neither. Then I guess we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way.
- [They have a slap fight. Meanwhile, the Goblin and Principal Brown check their account balance at the ATMs]
- Goblin: That's weird, I got no money.
- Nigel Brown: Me neither! But doesn't that mean...
- [The Earth stops spinning, causing Rocky, Principal Brown and the Goblin to fall down]
- Goblin: But money makes the world go round!
- Rocky: Wait. If there's no money, how are we supposed to buy stuff?
- Nigel Brown: We don't! We just take it. The foundations of civilization have collapsed. It's every man for himself!
- [They rip they shirts and Principal Brown attempts to do the same but rips the fur off his chest instead]
- Nigel Brown: [In pain] I shouldn't have done that.
- [They break into a store and steal the things inside. A truck crashes into a wall near Mr. Small and Larry, burying them in potatoes]
- Mister Small: Oh no, we're buried under a pile of potahtoes!
- Larry: [Outraged] Why, you–! [Tackles Mister Small and attacks him]
- Darwin: People are tearing each other apart! Call the paramedics, call the fire department, call the police!
- [Principal Brown runs out of the store, with the skin of his chest still exposed]
- Gumball: And the fashion police.
- [Gumball runs into a phone booth and dials 911]
- Gumball: We need help!
- Bobert: Request denied.
- Gumball: Bobert? You're behind all this?
- Bobert: My analysis identified mankind as the main threat to life on this planet. The rational solution is to accelerate your extinction.
- [A plane grazes close to the ground and destroys part of the booth]
- Gumball: Bobert, I order you to stop!
- Bobert: Order invalid. You are part of the threat yourself. Terminating conversation in three...two...one...
- [Darwin pulls him out of the phone booth as it blows up]
- Gumball: Quick! We have to stop Bobert before he...saves the world?
Face to Face with Bobert[]
- [Bobert is in what appears to be a basement]
- Bobert: Commencing final extinction in T minus ten. Nine. Eight–
- Notification: You've got mail.
- Bobert: Attachment detected: Gumball and Darwin. Illogical. Life forms cannot attach themselves to email.
- [Gumball and Darwin kick the door open]
- Gumball: We didn't, but we knew it would distract you. [They fall to their knees crying] Please don't make us extinct!
- Darwin: We're not all that bad!
- Bobert: According to my data, mankind exploits its resources and destroys its environment. One day, it will colonize space and destroy more environments.
- Darwin: Yeah, but surely in these new environments we'll need to grow trees and raise animals, so we're preserving life.
- Gumball: Yeah, so we can burn and eat them.
- Bobert: The closest comparison to mankind is a virus. It must be terminated. Resuming countdown. Eight. Seven.
- [Bobert is heard counting in the background while Gumball remembers what he said earlier]
- Bobert: Mankind is a virus. All life on Earth should be preserved, even virus.
- [The thoughts echo in Gumball's head and he turns around just as the counter reaches 1]
- Gumball: That's it! Bobert, you can't destroy mankind because, uh, uh... If mankind's a virus– No, uh. [Sighs] Nevermind, I lost it. [Walks away] Carry on.
- Bobert: One–
- Darwin: Wait! You said all life should be protected. Even a virus. So you can't make us extinct!
- Bobert: Extinction protocol conflict with life protection protocol. Illogical argument detected. Terminating extinction protocol.
- Gumball: [Sighs in relief] I'm glad that's over. So, how about a little help with our homework?
- [The episode ends]
v • e Transcript
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| Episode 1 The DVD |
Episode 2 The Responsible |
Episode 3 The Third |
Episode 4 The Debt |
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| Episode 5 The End |
Episode 6 The Dress |
Episode 7 The Quest |
Episode 8 The Spoon |
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| Episode 9 The Pressure |
Episode 10 The Painting |
Episode 11 The Laziest |
Episode 12 The Ghost |
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| Episode 13 The Mystery |
Episode 14 The Prank |
Episode 15 The Gi |
Episode 16 The Kiss |
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| Episode 17 The Party |
Episode 18 The Refund |
Episode 19 The Robot |
Episode 20 The Picnic |
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| Episode 21 The Goons |
Episode 22 The Secret |
Episode 23 The Sock |
Episode 24 The Genius |
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| Episode 25 The Poltergeist |
Episode 26 The Mustache |
Episode 27 The Date |
Episode 28 The Club |
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| Episode 29 The Wand |
Episode 30 The Ape |
Episode 31 The Car |
Episode 32 The Curse |
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| Episode 33 The Microwave |
Episode 34 The Meddler |
Episode 35 The Helmet |
Episode 36 The Fight |
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| Episode 1 The Remote |
Episode 2 The Colossus |
Episode 3 The Knights |
Episode 4 The Fridge |
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| Episode 5 The Flower |
Episode 6 The Banana |
Episode 7 The Phone |
Episode 8 The Job |
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| Episode 9 Halloween |
Episode 10 The Treasure |
Episode 11 The Apology |
Episode 12 The Words |
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| Episode 13 The Skull |
Episode 14 The Bet |
Episode 15 Christmas |
Episode 16 The Watch |
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| Episode 17 The Bumpkin |
Episode 18 The Flakers |
Episode 19 The Authority |
Episode 20 The Virus |
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| Episode 21 The Pony |
Episode 22 The Hero |
Episode 23 The Dream |
Episode 24 The Sidekick |
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| Episode 25 The Photo |
Episode 26 The Tag |
Episode 27 The Storm |
Episode 28 The Lesson |
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| Episode 29 The Game |
Episode 30 The Limit |
Episode 31 The Voice |
Episode 32 The Promise |
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| Episode 33 The Castle |
Episode 34 The Boombox |
Episode 35 The Tape |
Episode 36 The Sweaters |
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| Episode 37 The Internet |
Episode 38 The Plan |
Episode 39 The World |
Episode 40 The Finale |
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| Episode 1 The Kids |
Episode 2 The Fan |
Episode 3 The Coach |
Episode 4 The Joy |
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| Episode 5 The Puppy |
Episode 6 The Recipe |
Episode 7 The Name |
Episode 8 The Extras |
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| Episode 9 The Gripes |
Episode 10 The Vacation |
Episode 11 The Fraud |
Episode 12 The Void |
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| Episode 13 The Boss |
Episode 14 The Move |
Episode 15 The Law |
Episode 16 The Allergy |
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| Episode 17 The Mothers |
Episode 18 The Password |
Episode 19 The Procrastinators |
Episode 20 The Shell |
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| Episode 21 The Burden |
Episode 22 The Bros |
Episode 23 The Mirror |
Episode 24 The Man |
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| Episode 25 The Pizza |
Episode 26 The Lie |
Episode 27 The Butterfly |
Episode 28 The Question |
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| Episode 29 The Saint |
Episode 30 The Friend |
Episode 31 The Oracle |
Episode 32 The Safety |
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| Episode 33 The Society |
Episode 34 The Spoiler |
Episode 35 The Countdown |
Episode 36 The Nobody |
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| Episode 37 The Downer |
Episode 38 The Egg |
Episode 39 The Triangle |
Episode 40 The Money |
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| Episode 1 The Return |
Episode 2 The Nemesis |
Episode 3 The Crew |
Episode 4 The Others |
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| Episode 5 The Signature |
Episode 6 The Check |
Episode 7 The Pest |
Episode 8 The Sale |
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| Episode 9 The Gift |
Episode 10 The Parking |
Episode 11 The Routine |
Episode 12 The Upgrade |
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| Episode 13 The Comic |
Episode 14 The Romantic |
Episode 15 The Uploads |
Episode 16 The Apprentice |
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| Episode 17 The Hug |
Episode 18 The Wicked |
Episode 19 The Traitor |
Episode 20 The Origins |
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| Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two |
Episode 22 The Girlfriend |
Episode 23 The Advice |
Episode 24 The Signal |
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| Episode 25 The Parasite |
Episode 26 The Love |
Episode 27 The Awkwardness |
Episode 28 The Nest |
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| Episode 29 The Points |
Episode 30 The Bus |
Episode 31 The Night |
Episode 32 The Misunderstandings |
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| Episode 33 The Roots |
Episode 34 The Blame |
Episode 35 The Slap |
Episode 36 The Detective |
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| Episode 37 The Fury |
Episode 38 The Compilation |
Episode 39 The Scam |
Episode 40 The Disaster |
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| Episode 1 The Rerun |
Episode 2 The Stories |
Episode 3 The Guy |
Episode 4 The Boredom |
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| Episode 5 The Vision |
Episode 6 The Choices |
Episode 7 The Code |
Episode 8 The Test |
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| Episode 9 The Slide |
Episode 10 The Loophole |
Episode 11 The Fuss |
Episode 12 The Copycats |
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| Episode 13 The Potato |
Episode 14 The Outside |
Episode 15 The Vase |
Episode 16 The Matchmaker |
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| Episode 17 The Box |
Episode 18 The Console |
Episode 19 The Ollie |
Episode 20 The Catfish |
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| Episode 21 The Cycle |
Episode 22 The Stars |
Episode 23 The Grades |
Episode 24 The Diet |
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| Episode 25 The Ex |
Episode 26 The Sorcerer |
Episode 27 The Menu |
Episode 28 The Uncle |
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| Episode 29 The Weirdo |
Episode 30 The Heist |
Episode 31 The Singing |
Episode 32 The Best |
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| Episode 33 The Worst |
Episode 34 The Deal |
Episode 35 The Petals |
Episode 36 The Nuisance |
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| Episode 37 The Line |
Episode 38 The List |
Episode 39 The News |
Episode 40 The Puppets |
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| Episode 1 The Rival |
Episode 2 The Lady |
Episode 3 The Sucker |
Episode 4 The Vegging |
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| Episode 5 The One |
Episode 6 The Father |
Episode 7 The Cringe |
Episode 8 The Cage |
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| Episode 9 The Neighbor |
Episode 10 The Anybody |
Episode 11 The Faith |
Episode 12 The Candidate |
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| Episode 13 The Pact |
Episode 14 The Shippening |
Episode 15 The Brain |
Episode 16 The Parents |
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| Episode 17 The Founder |
Episode 18 The Schooling |
Episode 19 The Intelligence |
Episode 20 The Potion |
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| Episode 21 The Spinoffs |
Episode 22 The Transformation |
Episode 23 The Understanding |
Episode 24 The Ad |
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| Episode 25 The Ghouls |
Episode 26 The Stink |
Episode 27 The Awareness |
Episode 28 The Slip |
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| Episode 29 The Drama |
Episode 30 The Buddy |
Episode 31 The Possession |
Episode 32 The Master |
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| Episode 33 The Silence |
Episode 34 The Future |
Episode 35 The Wish |
Episode 36 The Factory |
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| Episode 37 The Agent |
Episode 38 The Web |
Episode 39 The Mess |
Episode 40 The Heart |
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| Episode 41 The Revolt |
Episode 42 The Decisions |
Episode 43 The BFFS |
Episode 44 The Inquisition |