The Lesson/Transcript

Procrastination

[The episode begins with Gumball and Darwin reading math books, attempting to study for an upcoming math test. Gumball starts roleplaying, and Darwin roleplays along. Gumball grabs his ruler, and in slow-motion attempts to attack Darwin. Darwin quickly grabs a triangular ruler and acting like he stabbed Gumball. Gumball, acting like he is stabbed, grabs a calculator and presses buttons, acting like he is using a remote to activate a bomb]

Gumball: Noooooo! [Activates "bomb"]

Gumball and Darwin: It's gonna explooooooode! [Explosion sound] [Snaps out of it]

Gumball: Oh, come on. Concentrate a little, man. We'll never be ready for the math test.

[Darwin sighs, and they go back to reading]

Gumball: [Strange voice while reading] If zhe square of zhe hypotenuse equals zhe sum of zhe square of the other two sides, vhat is the length of side A?

Darwin: [Strange voice while acting like Igor] I know not, master.

Gumball: [Throws down book] You failed me for the last time. ["Zaps" Darwin, who starts yelling. Then snaps out of it once again] Oh, come on, we're supposed to be studying.

[Both start reading again, but then Gumball starts playing music with his ruler, and Darwin starts slamming his book in harmony until Gumball interferes again]

Gumball: Dude, stop distracting me! [Reads book again] Alright, let's get some work done.

[Scene cuts to them playing around. First, they shoot spitballs at each other while hiding behind chairs. Then Gumball puts a pencil through one of his nostrils, and it comes out of his ear. After that, Gumball spins Darwin around in an office chair, and stops with Darwin's tail fin in his mouth. Gumball puts a pencil through a nostril again, and it comes out of Darwin's nose. Then they duel each other with geometry compasses. Darwin puts a pencil through his nostril nose, and it comes out of Gumball's ears. Then it shows their house at night. Off-screen, they are heard laughing out loud]

Almost Time for the Test!

[Gumball and Darwin are seen crying out loud, and chewing the pages of books]

Gumball: [Crying] It's not working, I'm not absorbing any of the knowledge.

Darwin: [In Spanish] ¿Por qué no estudiamos cuando tuvimos tiempo? (Why didn't we study when we had the time?)

Gumball: [In Elizabethian English] Be still, you cur. (Chill out, dude.) Imbibe thy portions swiftly. (Keep chewing.) Anon we face our trial. (We only have ten minutes until the test.) By my by?! (What the what?!) [Closes his book] Elizabethan poetry? Fie and fie again! We've been chewing the wrong books!

[Darwin spits up some chewed pages, and puts it back on his book]

Gumball: Ahh! We're gonna flunk the test. We'll get caught in a downward spiral of failure, we'll get held back a year and before you know it, we'll be the only kids in seventh grade with beards.

Darwin: Unless....

Gumball: What?

Darwin: We could [Whistles]

Gumball: What?

Darwin: You know, we could [Makes a noise with his tongue]

Gumball: [Shrugs]

Darwin: You know, we could [Darwin makes more noises]

Gumball: [Gasps] What?! You mean—

Cheating!

Nigel Brown: Cheating?! Did you really think you could get away with this?!

[Turns to Gumball and Darwin, with writings including math solutions all over Darwin's body]

Gumball: To be honest, yeah. I thought we could. I have no idea what went wrong.

Nigel Brown: Well, maybe you'll figure it out during spring break which you're spending in detention!

Detention!

Nigel Brown: I'm putting you in the long detention block. So from now on you don't eat, you don't go to the bathroom, you don't speak, you don't even blink unless I say so. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

[Darwin raises his hand]

Nigel Brown: What?

Darwin: Can I blink, please?

Nigel Brown: No.

The New Inmates

[They enter a classroom full of "delinquents." The delinquents make noise, and trash the room]

Nigel Brown: SILENCE, YOU ANIMALS! These are the new inmates. Make sure they feel welcome.

Darwin: [With dried eyes] Can I blink now?

Nigel Brown: You're not gonna last two minutes in here, little fish.

[Principal Brown exits, and slams the door. Gumball and Darwin turn around at their new "inmates," looking scared. They start talking with each other seemingly through their thoughts]

Darwin: Gumball. Can you hear me?

Gumball: Yeah. What will we do? These ugly filths look like they were raised by hyenas in a post-apocalyptic future.

Darwin: Ha ha! Especially the cupcake. She looks like she was made out of rotten eggs, and foot fungus.

Rotten Cupcake: I'm a boy, dork bag.

Gumball: Ugh! Even her voice is gross. Wait, hang on. How can she hear our secret thoughts?

Reaper: 'Cause you're talking out loud, homie.

Gumball: Yeah, that makes more sense.

In the Bathroom

[Gumball and Darwin look badly injured after getting beaten up by their inmates]

Gumball: [Groans] Ow!! Oh, man.

Darwin: [Pops out eye] Even my bruises have bruises.

Gumball: Don't worry buddy. I've got just what you need.

Darwin: A kiss to make it better?

Gumball: No. We need to look older if you want them to respect us. [Brings out marker] Lets get some tattoos, home boy!

[They walk outside the bathroom with drawn on hair on their heads]

Gumball: What do you think?

Darwin: I don't know. I think we look a bit too old for young offenders.

Gumball: Maybe.

[They walk back in. Then they exit again with more fake hair drawn on their heads]

Gumball: Perfect!

In the Cafeteria

[The delinquents are in the cafeteria eating, when Gumball and Darwin approach them and slam their lunches on the table. The delinquents glare at Gumball and Darwin. Gumball eats a piece of Mowdown's food]

Gumball: What are you looking at, punk?

[Gumball's head gets brutally crushed by Mowdown]

Darwin: Dude. Stop! His eyes are touching each other! Please let him go!

Julius: Enough!

[Mowdown lets go of Gumball]

Gumball: Oh! Thanks man. I owe you one.

Julius: You owe me more than that if you want my protection, daby.

Gumball: What's a daby?

Darwin: Detention slang. For "dumb baby."

Gumball: Oh I see. Who protect us from?

Julius: [Raises eyebrow in confusion]

Darwin: He means "Who are you gonna protect us from?"

Julius: [Fuse lights] Me!

Stealing School Plans

[Gumball and Darwin are seen cleaning the principal's office]

Darwin: Why does that kid want us to steal the school plans anyway?

Gumball: That's the least of our worries. The guy's a walking time bomb.

[Gumball looks out the open door, and sees Principal Brown and Ms. Simian about to make out. Ms. Simian notices Gumball staring, and she blocks Gumball's sight with the door not closed though, but ajar]

Gumball: Okay. Let's do this.

[They rummage through Brown's desk]

Gumball: Here. Found it! Now lets get out of— [Starts chuckling]

Darwin: What?

Gumball: Dude, you have to see this. [Chuckles]

[They start looking at photos of Principal Brown, and they both laugh. After a while, Gumball puts the photos down and sees Principal Brown posing in the same manner as he is in the last photo and Ms. Simian in front of them. They quickly put back the photos, and Miss Simian sees them]

Lucy Simian: Ooooh! [Glares at Gumball and Darwin]

Gumball: It's not what it looks like. W-we accidentally slipped, and-and fell. T-t-the door went whoosh, and this went whoosh and we-let me start again. There was an eagle, and it came through the window and tried to steal-uh-I mean…it was totally like this when we got here.

Nigel Brown: I'll teach you for ruining my surprise for Miss Simian. You're both going to the correctional room!

Gumball: NOOOO! NOT THE CORRECTIONAL ROOM!

Correctional Room

Mister Small​​​​: Boys. I believe you keep getting into trouble because you're not expressing yourselves creatively. To teach you how, I'm going to read you some of my poems, okay?

Gumball: I don't know why I freaked out so much. This really isn't that bad.

Mister Small​​​​: [Brings out super thick book] The first is an epic life story written from the perspective of a shoe. [Clears throat] Part one of eighty-seven: Birth… dark… factory… noise. The smell of polish... souls fitting soles soullessly, dolefully.

[Gumball and Darwin cringe in boredom. They bang on the office door's window]

Gumball: Let us out!!! This is cruel, and unusual!!

Planning to Escape From Detention

[Gumball and Darwin approach Julius in the classroom, traumatized]

Julius: So, what have we learned today?

Darwin: Don't… ever… break the rules… ever… again.

Julius: No fish, don't ever get caught. That's the only rule you need to care about. Now, here's a list of stuff you're gonna steal for me.

[Gumball inspects the list. Then the scene transitions into a song with a montage of them stealing the things on the list]

"The Baddest Kid in Prison"

Gumball: [Singing] Well, I cheated on a math test, teacher says I gotta pay. Doin' time up at the schoolhouse, and it gets worse everyday.

[In a line heading to the classroom, Gumball "accidentally" knocks over the nearby principal's papers. He quickly and nervously recovers them, and gives them back. In the classroom, it is revealed that he had taken the first item on the list: a paperclip. In yet another line, Darwin comes through a metal detector]

Darwin: I've done a lot of bad things, as freedom went away. I've seen a lot of sad things, and it gets worse everyday!

[He walks to Julius playing a harmonica. Taking off his leg, he dumps out of it a couple of spoons, the second item on the list. Then they are out in the field, working with rakes]

Gumball and Darwin: I never was a bad guy, 'til I was put away. Now I'm stealin', cheatin', lyin', and it gets worse everyday!

[Scythe's rakes are taken. He suspects Gumball who has the rake hidden in his head, but Gumball points to the rotten cupcake. Scythe attacks the cupcake instead. Then in the corridors, Julius receives the rake. Both Gumball and Darwin with Mowdown work out in the schoolyard. Gumball pretends to stretch, and grabs a string from Mowdown. He and Darwin walk way and unravel the string along, causing Mowdown's stuffing to come out, and him to be squished by a barbell. They give the string to Julius]

Gumball and Darwin: They think I learned my lesson, that crime just doesn't pay. But stuck here in detention, I have found another way. I'm the baddest kid in the prison…and I get worse everydaaay!

[Once again, the inmates trash the classroom. Principal Brown barges in]

Nigel Brown: SILENCE YOU ANIMALS! I WANT THIS ROOM CLEANED UP BY LUNCH TIME, YOU HEAR ME!?

[Behind him, Julius with all the materials given to him sneaks away]

Gumball: Where is he going?

Darwin: [Singing] I don't know, why did he need a map, some rope, a rake, and a paper clip— [Stops singing and realizes] Oh, my gosh, he's going to ESCAPE!

Gumball: No, dude. We are.

[They run out of the classroom, and through the hallways]

Detention Break

Darwin: I don't think we're ready for life on the outside.

Gumball: Why do you say that?

Darwin: Because we've run straight back to detention.

Gumball: I think we've been here so long we've lost our taste for freedom.

Darwin: Let's just go back in.

[They look inside the infernal chaos inside the classroom. The rotten cupcake is threatened by Mowdown]

Rotten Cupcake: No, no, NO!

[Mowdown brutally attacks him, and pops his cherry. The cherry juice splats on the classroom door's window in front of the boys]

Gumball: [Looking terrified] Did you see what that bear just did to that guy's cherry?

Darwin: I think that just cured me.

Gumball: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

[They run to Julius unlocking janitor's closet]

Gumball and Darwin: Take us!

Julius: Ha! I don't think so. [Throws a paper clip at Gumball. It bounces off harmlessly]

[Julius starts removing the screws off a ventilation cover]

Gumball: Dude come on, please!

Gumball and Darwin: We're too cute for detention.

Julius: I don't care. [Enters vent]

Gumball: [Tackles Julius] PLEASE, I BEG YOU. PLEASE!

[Gumball repeatedly bangs Julius on the vent until it gives way. They both fall into Principal Brown's office. However, Gumball holds on to the ceiling, and the principal is asleep]

Julius: [Not actually talking] Help!

Darwin: [Not actually talking] Depends, can we come with you?

Julius: Never.

Darwin: [Very small text] Take us with you or you're going down.

Julius: Sorry, what did you just say?

Darwin: TAKE US WITH YOU, OR YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

Julius: [Actually talking] OKAY, OKAY. JUST STOP SHOUTING!

[Principal Brown wakes up, and sees them. Julius unintentionally kicks Brown in the face as he is brought up]

Nigel Brown: DETENTION BREAK, LOCKDOWN! [Imitates prison siren]

[Julius leads them to a fan in the ventilation]

Julius: Okay, we climb on this shaft to get to the roof.

Gumball: Are you sure? I mean this doesn't feel dangerous enough. Isn't there a lake of fire on your map, or maybe a spider pit? Oh, I know: how about an acid bath full of sharks with machine guns!?

Darwin: Don't worry, I've got this.

[He grabs the rake, and attempts to place it on the fan. It gets shredded to half its length]

Gumball: Right. So, what's the plan now?

Julius: Well you can always go back!

[Gumball considers this. Then it skips to him climbing the noisy ventilation shaft. He talks, but the shaft drowns his voice out.]

Gumball: [inaudible] DAGNABBIT WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CLIMBING EVERY END THIS(?) AHHH!! I'M GONNA DIE!!

[He meets up with Darwin and Julius up in a compartment on the roof]

Gumball: Well, that was easier than I thought, so what now?

[He realizes that they are sulking. The compartment they are in has no way out]

Gumball: What the what!? I thought you said this led to the roof!

Julius: It does. It just won't open.

Gumball: [Enraged] What the whating what!? What do you mean it won't open!?

Julius: [Fuse lit and incensed] I mean there's no way to get out of here, you massork!

Gumball: What does that even mean?

Darwin: Detention slang for "massive dork."

Gumball: [Scoffs] Oh, yeah? Well you're a sodging therk with a fart-stache!

Julius: What?

Darwin: A soap-dodging thunder jerk with a fart mustache.

Julius: Yeah!? Well you're a serjenerf— [Continues making up detention slangs]

[While Julius makes up insults, Gumball takes Darwin and takes cover out of the compartment while Julius's fuse shortens. Julius notices, but it is too late]

Julius: You double-crossing ner— [Explodes]

[The compartment is finally breached. Gumball and Darwin cough. They see Julius's body, and his deflated head]

Julius: [High pitched] Well played.

Gumball: I learned from the best.

[Gumball takes out a paper. There is a drawing of a person sliding down to the ground through a string tied to the roof, and the rake hooked on to an object]

Darwin: Oh, so that's what we needed the rope for. And we use the rake as a hooked!

[Gumball ties the string to a doodad on the roof. Principal Brown still imitating a prison siren can be heard]

Darwin: Quick!

Gumball: Uh, okay. How long does this rope need to be?

Darwin: Um, it's the square of the height of the school, multiplied by—

Gumball: Are you sure it's not divide?

Darwin: Oh, yeah. The square root of the height of the school minus—

Gumball: Divide!

Darwin: That's what I said!

Gumball: You said minus!

Darwin: It's the same thing!

Gumball: No, it's not! Is it?

[Banging can be heard at a door on the roof]

Gumball: Ahhh! Let's just wing it.

[He ties the string to the rake. Throwing the rake off the roof, it falls down short and breaks a window]

Gumball: Wish'd we'd done that math thing now. We could have escaped from detention.

Darwin: No, dude. If we learned it, we wouldn't be in detention.

Gumball: Wow. I guess we did learn something today.

Darwin: When you cheat, the only person you're really cheating is yourself.

Gumball: Uh, no. [Sees approaching van] [Grabs Darwin's fin] Never get caught!

[They jump off the roof. Principal Brown barges in]

Nigel Brown: SURRENDER NOW and you'll only— [Gasps] Nooooo!

[In slow-motion, Gumball and Darwin fall down. They slowly come nearer the roof of the van. Then no longer in slow-motion, the van speeds off and the boys instead hit the ground. They get up, disfigured by their fall. Despite this, they laugh]

Gumball: See you never!

Darwin: See you never, Principal Brown!

[They celebrate as they walk off. The principal watches them from the rooftop]

Nigel Brown: I don't know why they're so happy. They still have to come back here tomorrow.

[Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition