The Kids/Transcript

Bathroom

[The episode begins with Richard opening a mirror cabinet to get shaving cream. He closes it, and his reflection is shown. He yawns, then inhales deeply. He screams while putting the shaving cream on, then shaves his beard with a hatchet. He splashes hot water on himself, puts cucumber slices on his eyes, then applies a green face mask. He pulls out a nose hair and tears the face mask off. He admires his appearance, then roars]

Richard: [Whispering] You still got it.

[Gumball and Darwin go up to the bathroom sink, grab a toothbrush, and start brushing their teeth]

Richard: Hey, kids. Do I look old to you?

[They put their toothbrushes back]

Gumball: Uh, it's hard to say. I guess that's the good thing about being fat, it fills out all the wrinkles!

Richard: Agh! Well, guess my age.

Gumball and Darwin: Uh...

Darwin: Ooh! Ice Age!

Richard: What?! Are you kidding me? When do you think I was born?

Gumball: I don't know. Fifteen ninety-two?

Richard: What?!

Gumball: Minus a hundred!

Richard: Fourteen ninety-two? That's when America was discovered!

Gumball: Aw, come on! Help us out here. Was it B.C. or A.D.?

Richard: Hmmph!

[Richard turns his back on the boys and leaves the bathroom in a huff. Nicole enters wearing a bathrobe, with a towel wrapped around her head]

Nicole: What did you say to your father?

Gumball: It's not our fault! It was a trap!

Nicole: Ooh, was he fishing for compliments again?

Gumball: Yeah. [Chuckles] And some reality got caught in the net.

Darwin: But you know what it's like, Mrs. Mom. You're pretty old, too.

Nicole: [Giggles] I'm old?

Gumball: Yeah, I mean, you're so old that... You learned to drive on a horse!

[Gumball and Nicole laugh]

Darwin: You're so old that you ate dodo at your first Thanksgiving!

[Laughter from Gumball, Darwin, and Nicole]

Gumball: You're so old, that if you had kids now, they'd be born middle-aged!

[They all laugh]

Darwin: Yeah, I mean you're so old that-

Nicole: ALRIGHT!

[Nicole grabs the sides of her face, pulling the skin taut]

Nicole: No one stays young forever, you know. You'll see how it feels when it happens to you.

[Nicole leaves the room. Gumball and Darwin snicker]

Darwin: Ahh, I think we'll be fine.

Gumball: Yeah, dude. I've been twelve for like... [Gumball counts his fingers] Forever now!

Darwin: I think we can safely say that we'll be young forever, and never [Distorted] cha-a-a-a-ange!

[Darwin covers his mouth]

Gumball: [Gasp] Dude! Are you [Deep voice, everything shakes] ALRIGHT?

Darwin: What's happening?

Gumball: I think [Deep voice, the shaking damages the bathroom] OUR VOICES ARE BROKE!

Darwin: Dude, that was so low you made some of my organs move inside.

Living Room

[Gumball and Darwin are sitting on the couch silently and they look at each other]

Gumball: [Voice cracking] Okay, that was weird, but I'm not gonna let it ruin our day. I'll call Penny and see if she wants to go to the mall.

[Gumball gets off the couch, picks up the phone, dials the number and puts it up to his ear. It rings for a second and then the screen splits to Gumball and Patrick]

Patrick: Fitzgerald residence!

Gumball: [In squeaky voice] Hi, can I speak to Penny [Voice changes to a deep whisper] pleeeease...

Patrick: Is this a joke? 

Gumball: [Still with deep whispery voice] Uh, no.

Patrick: This better be a joke.

Gumball: No, wait, I don't think you understand-

[Patrick's half of the screen gets bigger and bigger, crushing Gumball]

Patrick: I don't think you understand. You think you can call my house and freak us out? You think you've got a scary voice? [In deep, scary voice] This... is a scary voice. Now listen to me. I have a very specific set of skills. Skills I've acquired over a very long career. In real estate. If you never call my daughter again, that... will be the end of it. But if you do, I will look for you. I will find you. And I will build a house around you. With no doors! 

Gumball: [With squeaky voice] Okay, bye!

[Gumball puts the phone back, and now has a triangular-shaped head due to getting crushed by the literal phone line. Darwin stares at the ceiling]

Gumball: What are you looking at?

Darwin: I dunno. What are you pointing at?

Gumball: Come on, [Takes Darwin's hand] let's just go together. [The two leave the house]

The Bus

[Scene then shows Gumball and Darwin, with Gumball's head back to normal, as they wait for the bus and get on. Darwin then speaks to the driver]

Darwin: Hello, two kids-price... [Deep voice] tickets please. [Covers his mouth]

[The bus driver is revealed to be a stout dwarf warrior]

Manly Warrior: You disgust me!

Gumball: Wait, what? [Deep voice] Why?

Manly Warrior: Where is your pride? Where is your beard? WHERE IS YOUR AXE?! [Draws out a large axe]

Gumball: [Deep voice] Wait, why are you driving with an axe?

Manly Warrior: Oh, I use it to push the pedals.

Darwin: [Deep voice] Sir, I think you're confused. We're not what you-

Manly Warrior: Your manly warrior voices gave you away! Our people built wonders in the mines of Ezrendel and here you are, pretending to be children to scrounge a bus fare! Shame on you!

Gumball: [Deep voice] Dude, we're not cheating anyone. We're kids.

Manly Warrior: I should report you to the Council of Elders!

Gnome 1: You don't need a discount! Your mountains are full of gold and mithril.

Gnome 2: How can someone be so little and yet so evil?

[Gnomes throw food and rubbish at Gumball and Darwin while they step off the bus; bus Driver throws his axe at them]

Gumball: Do you feel like walking? I feel like walking.

[Gumball and Darwin walk as scene transitions]

Sidewalk

Gumball: See? It wasn't that far.

[Camera zooms out to show that Gumball and Darwin's legs have been burnt off by walking]

Darwin: [Gasps] Look. [Darwin points to a sign on a window]

Gumball: Oh, wow. "Buy one, get one free on two-sided tape." That's like four-sided tape.

Darwin: No, [Grows legs back, points to higher sign] look! Half price on double chip cookies! That's like quadruple chocolate!

[Darwin runs off]

Gumball: [Attempting to catch up with Darwin] Hey, wait!

Store

Darwin: Hmm, where are the cookies? [To Larry] HEY!

Larry: [Surprised] Ohh! [Annoyed] "Hey" yourself, young man. I know I'm just a clerk here, but that is not a way to speak to people.

Darwin: [Loud] OH! SORRY! [Darwin covers his mouth]

Larry: Oh, I see. Now I'm getting attitude. You know there's a policy here for disrespectful customers.

Darwin: It's not... [Loud] MY fault.

Larry: Oh-ho-ho. So now it's my fault.

Darwin: Dude, [Loud] CHILL OUT! [Darwin covers his mouth]

Larry: You refrigerate yourself, mister. All right, that's it. [On radio] Security, we've got a code orange at aisle thirteen.

Darwin: No, please, it's not my fault.

[Gumball approaches]

Gumball: Dude, what's going on?

Darwin: I can't control the [Loud] VOLUME OF MY VOICE! [Crying] And now Larry's angry at me.

Gumball: Ah, don't worry. I'll take care of this.

[Security guard approaches]

Guard: Sir, I'm gonna need you to calm down.

Gumball: [Loud] WE ARE CALM!

[Gumball covers his mouth]

Guard: Don't force me to use force! You need to take it down a notch!

Gumball: [Loud] I CAN'T!

Guard: Fine! Then you asked for this! [Pulls out baton, which goes limp] Actually, I'm not allowed to do anything but ask you to leave the premises peacefully.

Car Park

[Gumball kicks debris until he gets sprayed by a soda can. Darwin drops to his knees, crying]

Gumball: Maybe I'll just call Dad for a ride home.

[Gumball runs off and comes back onto the scene]

Darwin: So?

Gumball: He didn't understand a word I said and told me he doesn't speak fax machine. [Gumball punches his larynx] Aw, stupid voice! [High-pitched voice] What [Robotic voice] is [Falsetto voice] wrong [Low voice] with [No voice] you!? [No voice, subtitled] Well, that didn't work.

[Patrick approaches in his car, with Penny in the backseat]

Penny: Gumball, where have you been? Why didn't you call me?

Gumball: [No voice, not subtitled] Penny, it's my voice. It's broke.

[Penny's window rolls up]

Patrick: Watterson, are you giving my daughter some kind of weird silent treatment? [Scary voice] Because if you are, I have a very specific set of skills. Skills I've a-

[Gumball sighs, opens the door, rolls the windows up and closes the door]

Gumball: [No voice, subtitled] I think we need a doctor.

Darwin: What? Oh, hold up.

[Darwin punches himself]

Darwin: [No voice, subtitled] I think we need a doctor.

Gumball: [No voice, subtitled] That's what I said!

The Doctor

Gumball: And sometimes it's perfectly fine. But the next thing you know, it's [Voice squeaks] all over the place.

[Doctor chuckles]

Darwin: [Distorted] Are you making fun of us because our voices are broke?

[Doctor continues to chuckle and a tear rolls down from his eye]

Doctor: Your voices are not broken, they're breaking. It means you're growing up.

[Gumball and Darwin sigh]

Doctor: Did you really think you would stay kids forever?

Darwin: [Deep voice] Yeah, kinda.

[Doctor chuckles again]

Gumball: [Deep voice] Isn't there something you can do?

Doctor: Hmm, no. Only a small percentage of the world doesn't age - mostly people on TV.

[Gumball and Darwin sigh sadly]

Doctor: Oh come on. Growing up isn't that bad. Soon you'll be strong and handsome, like your dad.

[Gumball and Darwin look at each other, their faces change to resemble Richard's and they gasp like him]

"Make the Most of It!"

Darwin: Come on. What's the best thing to do when you know your childhood days are numbered?

Gumball: Lie down on the ground and go like this?

[Gumball sits and starts to weep]

Darwin: No, dude. [Pets Gumball, then slaps him] You make the most of it.

Gumball and Darwin: [Singing] We enjoy it while we can. We enjoy it while we're kids. We enjoy it while there's still time to make the most of it.

Gumball: We go around the block and we loiter by the-

Gumball and Darwin: Mall.

Gumball: The people think we're thugs, so they give the cops a call.

Larry: [Spoken] Police?

Gumball: But we get away with it 'cuz it's a-

Gumball and Darwin: Public space.

Gumball: Turns out we weren't loitering-

Gumball and Darwin: Just standing in one place.

[Donut cop appears, Gumball and Darwin make fun of him slapping their butts, they worry after he gives them a stern look ]

Gumball: I don't wear a suit or a-

Gumball and Darwin: Stupid tie!

Gumball: I dress with my eyes closed and-

Gumball and Darwin: I still look fly!

Louie: [Spoken] It looks like you got a leg transplant from a wiener dog.

Gumball: [Spoken] Oh, yeah, well you, uh... [Groans] And when I don't have a comeback I can always cry.

Gumball and Darwin: We enjoy it while we can. We enjoy it while we're kids. We enjoy it while there's still time to make the most of it.

Gumball: I'm allowed to eat candy, it's okay to be chubby. It's called baby fat, that's how my momma likes me. And I don't need to worry about the calories I ate 'cuz I'm just a kid with a crazy metabolic rate. [Turns skinny; spoken] Too far.

Darwin: Don't you ever worry about the cavities in your teeth?

Gumball: Who cares if these fall out? I've got new ones underneath!

Darwin: I'm getting tonnes of loot, 'cuz I look so cute. Where are these presents from? It just doesn't compute.

Gumball: We don't have to worry about makin' ends meet. We just throw things in the buggy-

Gumball and Darwin: That we like to eat.

Gumball: 'Cuz when you're still a kid, everything is magic. You don't know it yet-

Gumball and Darwin: Life can get pretty tragic. We enjoy it while we can. We enjoy it while we're kids. We enjoy it while there's still time to make the most of it.

Gumball: We don't have to worry, 'cuz we don't have-

Gumball and Darwin: Jobs.

Gumball: We can sit around all day and hang out-

Gumball and Darwin: Just like slobs. We don't freak out about resumes or skills. 'Cuz we don't have either, we got no bills. We got all the time that we wanna kill.

Newspaper Employee: [Spoken] What time is it?

Gumball and Darwin: It's time to chill!

Hank: [Spoken] What do you think you're doing?

Gumball: [Spoken] Just enjoying not having a job.

Hank: [Spoken] Well, you can't stay here!

Gumball: [Spoken] Why? Because the sight of our freedom hurts your adult feelings?

Hank: [Spoken] No, kid! You're gonna have to move, because-

[A truck horn blares; they get covered in rubble]

Gumball: When you're still a kid, being sick is cool. Mom gives you hugs, and you don't have to go to school. [Nicole kisses Gumball on the cheek] Stay at home, watch TV, all day slackin' off. If someone checks on you, just give 'em a little cough.

Richard: [Spoken] Are you alright?

[Gumball coughs]

Richard: [Spoken] Aww!

[Richard hugs Gumball, as he gives a demonic glare at the viewer]

Gumball: It's not my fault if I behave like a dummy. I do a lot of stupid things 'cuz I find it funny.

Gumball and Darwin: We don't need an excuse, 'cuz we got imagination. We're using it right now to escape the situation. Because when you're a kid, you dream of many things. Like being a Ninja Dentist, or a Wizard Cop with wings. We could fight a shark-bear-gator with a sword made of swords! Be the best at everything and win awesomeness awards. See an underwater castle and a seahorse made of crystal. Saving mermaids from sharkpeople using golden laser pistols. Plunder the universe in our pirate spaceship. Go back in time to teach cavemen how to kick-flip. Don't need to worry about our future plans or college. Super powers, robot arms, that's a substitute for knowledge.

Gumball: It's okay for me to dream that I'm a cowboy from the west!

Darwin: And for me to keep hopin' that there's still a chance to grow a [Deep voice]' chest!

Gumball and Darwin: We enjoy it while we [Deep voice]'​ can! We enjoy it while we're [Deep voice]'​ kids! We enjoy it while there's [Deep voice]'​ still time to make the most of [Deep voice]' it!

Gumball: [Clearing his throat] Come on, let's try it again.

Gumball and Darwin: [Deep voice] We enjoy it while we can. We enjoy it while we're kids. [Cuts to Billy and Felicity watching Gumball and Darwin] We enjoy it while there's still time to make the most of it!

Billy: Mother, what are those two short men doing?

Felicity: I believe they're pretending to still be young and cool, dear.

[Gumball and Darwin are upset by the reaction of the two]

A New Start

[Gumball is kicking trash until he kicks a ball that bounces back and hits his face; he cries]

Darwin: [In a deep voice] It's over, dude. If my voice went any lower, it would be on the ground! We're not kids anymore!

Gumball: [Deep voice; singing] Maybe it's for the better, no one wants to stay a child forever.

Darwin: [Deep voice; singing] Remember the wonderful times we've had, those happy thoughts now make me sad.

Gumball and Darwin: [Deep voice] They say it's not bad, it's just a new start. So why do I have this pain in my heart? Our childhood memories are getting hazy. But soon, we can drive, go to college, and we both go crazyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

[Gumball and Darwin's voices get squeaky]

Kids Again

[Gumball and Darwin are surprised by their voices and cover their mouths]

Gumball: [In new voice] What was that? [Gasps] Dude, what's goin' on? I sound even younger than before.

Darwin: [In new voice] That's it! That means we're in the one percent of people who never grow old.

Gumball and Darwin: Yay!

Gumball: We'll be kids forever!

Darwin: We got what we wanted!

Gumball: We're stuck in these bodies for the rest of our lives!

[Gumball and Darwin laugh happily, but their laughter fizzles out once the gravity of their situation dawns on them]

Gumball and Darwin: [Weakly] Yay...

[Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition