The Internet/Transcript

Gumball's Video

[It is a nice sunny day outside, with kids playing and animals foraging around. But Gumball and Darwin are cooped up inside their bedroom. They're looking at videos on the Internet. The sound of wheels rolling and crunching can be heard on the unseen video. They cringe, with their eyes shut]

Gumball and Darwin: Ooh!

Gumball: Dude, his foot is pointed in the wrong direction!

Darwin: He's going to be walking in circles for the rest of his life! Pick something else! Pick something else!!

[Gumball clicks another video with his eyes still shut. A dog barks on that unseen video. He and Darwin open their eyes]

Gumball and Darwin: Aw!

Gumball: Gosh, this is so cute, it should be illegal. [Darwin is heard gasping] What's up with you?

[Darwin has gotten very fat]

Darwin: Dude, please click something else. These puppies are so sweet, they're making me fat! [falls over out of sight]

[Gumball clicks another video, and Darwin immediately gets up, having reverted to his original shape. Eerie music is heard]

Gumball: Huh? [looks closer at the screen, from the computer's POV] There's no ghost in this video. [looks even closer] It's just a car driving down the r--

[A scream is heard, and Gumball freaks out for a prolonged time, making a series of funny faces. Eventually he stops, silent for a moment]

Gumball: Pbht! Wasn't scary at all. Let's watch some more people making fools of themselves.

[He clicks a video, and a familiar voice is heard. Cut to the computer monitor, and on the screen is a video of Gumball freaking out just seconds ago]

Gumball: What the what?! [begins desperately typing on the keyboard] How did that happen?! What's going on here?! Stop it!

[The video becomes viral as it pops up in a bunch of windows on screen]

Darwin: [laughs] It's your fat fingers, dude. You started the webcam and uploaded yourself by mistake.

[Gumball sticks his finger in Darwin's mouth]

Gumball: Stop laughing, and do something!

[Darwin clicks the keyboard with his foot Gumball removes his finger and wipes it on Darwin's cheek. He then buries his face in his palms]

Gumball: I'm doomed! [sobs] I broke the number-one rule of the Internet -- don't put yourself on the Internet!

[He breaks down crying. Darwin consoles]

Darwin: Come on, man. Do you know how many videos there are on the Internet? You're just a drop of embarrassment in an ocean of shame. I'm sure no one's seen it yet.

[Darwin clicks, and the boys are astonished to see the number of views on Gumball's video rapidly multiplying so much that the digits are piling up on the side of the screen and then bursting out the side of the monitor]

Gumball: No! Man, how is that even possible?! That's more views than there are people on Earth! [sobs]

Darwin: Well, on the plus side, it can't get any worse. Anyway, it's the Internet, dude. It'll die out as fast as it started.

Gumball: Delete it! Do something!

Darwin: I can't. You can't delete anything on the web.

Gumball: Do something! Do something now! Do something!!

[Darwin turns the monitor in the opposite direction, away from Gumball's view]

Gumball: Oh, yeah. That's better.

Darwin: I... think that's enough internet for today.

At the Library

Gumball: I'm really enjoying this time off from the internet. I can finally develop my brain, and study the big classics of literature!

Darwin: [Sees what Gumball is reading] "The Little Platypus Who Took the Wrong Bus"?

Gumball: Oh man, it's intense! It's this platypus baby on his quest for family and identity. Is he a duck? Is he a beaver? An otter? And more to the point, where's his mother? [Slams table] A platypus child needs his mother, dude! [Sobs]

Darwin: Well, I'm glad that's taken your mind off that video.

Gumball: Oh, yeah. No one's even mentioned it. Now that I think about it, where is everyone?

[Laughing is heard. They go to the source, and gasp in seeing students and Tobias laughing at Gumball's video. Tobias views other videos parodying Gumball's face. Slowly, they realize that Gumball is watching them]

Gumball: [Warily] What's that?

Tobias​​​​​​: You've gone kind of viral, dude. You're famous!

Gumball: What kind of fame is that!? This is stupid. I mean, what's next? The stupid face wearing a sombrero, shooting lasers at kittens, or something?!

[The next video shows exactly what Gumball describes. Tobias tries to block the video from Gumball discreetly]

Gumball: That's it, I'm telling the cyber police. [He walks away, but then walks back and kicks trash bin. Gumball walks away again]

The "Cyber" Police's Office

Floppy Disk: Okay. Let's have a look at these pictures, and see if I can backtrace them.

[He clicks, and a pop up appears]

Floppy Disk: Ooh! Win a new car.

[He clicks the pop up, and more of them appear]

Darwin: Come on, man. Everyone knows you shouldn't click on pop-ups.

Floppy Disk: Step back, children! It's a hacker attack! Ahh! [Imitates lazers]

Darwin: Dude, just click the pop-up-blocker option.

[He clicks it, and all the pop ups disappear one by one]

Floppy Disk: What the-? That's amazing! I must send an email to the HQ.

[He writes a note, and puts it in the CD drive of the computer]

Gumball: What are you doing? That's not how you send emails.

Floppy Disk: Let the professionals do their job, kid. I've been doing this since the eighties.

Darwin: What? In the future?

Floppy Disk: No. The nineteen-eighties.

Darwin: There was a nineteen?

Gumball: [Sighs] You can't delete those videos from the internet, can you?

Floppy Disk: Nooo. But I can delete the internet. Watch and learn, kid.

[He drags the internet browser application to the trash bin]

Darwin: I'm not sure that's gonna be enough.

Floppy Disk: You're right! [Takes computer off the desk, and throws it in the trash bin] How's that?

Darwin: [Sarcastically] Yeah, sure.

Gumball: Thank you for your help, sir.

Darwin's Video

[A camera is switched on, and Darwin is seen holding a ukulele]

Darwin: Okay. One, two, three- [Inhales deeply]

Gumball: Darwin, there's no point. The internet has no heart, man. It's like a goatee. It's made out of evil.

Darwin: Gumball, there's a beating heart in everything.

Gumball: Really? What about zombies?

Darwin: [Sighs] Okay. Everyone apart from people whose hearts don't beat.

Gumball: What about jellyfish?

Darwin: Okay, I get your point. They technically don't have hearts either, but everyone else does.

Gumball: What about lawyers?

Darwin: Ugh. Just press record, please.

[Gumball records, and Darwin starts playing his instrument, and singing]

Darwin: There's a beating heart in everything, except lawyers, zombies and jellyfish.

Look inside yourself, Internet, and think you see that you are being childish.

You are adding sombreros and lasers, to a kid who looked like he was tasered.

You laugh about it thinking it's funny, but is it, Internet? Is it really?

He's just a small boy with a heart like you, why'd you keep on trying to make him blue?

There's a beating heart in everything, and I know that there is one in you.

Come on, Internet. I know you're better than that.

[Cut to Gumball and Darwin watching an edited version of Darwin singing, his song being parodied and almost unrecognizable]

Darwin: What's wrong with the internet, man? This video goes on for at least twenty minutes!

Gumball: THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU, INTERNET! I'M COMING FOR YOU! I'M GONNA GO CYBER-WARRIOR ON YOUR BUTT!

Entering the Internet

Gumball: Du du du tun-tu tun! [Imitates airlock opening as he bends over a scanner, naked] Du du du tun-tu tun!

Darwin: Control operator to virtual soldier. Commencing digital scan process.

Gumball: [Whistles as he is scanned]

Darwin: Scanning in progress. Prepare to enter the internet in three… two… [Sees Gumball's underside] AGHH-WHAT THE-AH! ABORT! ABORT! [Types repeatedly while covering his eyes] ABORT!

In the Bathroom

[Darwin cleans his unblinking eyes with a steady stream of water]

Darwin: Mrs. Mom was right. We really didn't need that high definition scanner.

Gumball: Alright, never mind. We'll just have to find the Internet's address, and deal with this in the normal world, I guess.

Darwin: [Stops washing his eyes] Don't be ridiculous. The Internet is a thing, not a person.

Shower Handle: Yeah, dude. Can't you see the difference?

[All the things in the bathroom come to life, and laugh]

Toilet: Dumb nut.

Finding the Internet

[Gumball searches something on the computer. It chimes in]

Gumball: Ha! I knew it. The Internet lives only three blocks from here! Let's go-

[The computer suddenly chimes in]

Gumball: Oooh… one-hundred funny animals in hats… click! [Clicks]

[They scan through a gallery of funny animals wearing hats, being struck by the cuteness of each one. Much time passes as they do this]

Gumball: Aww. Okay! Let's go.

[The computer suddenly chimes in again]

Gumball: [Gasps] One-hundred greatest fails of all-time? Click! [Clicks]

Gumball and Darwin: OH!

Gumball: [Clicks]

Gumball and Darwin: AH!

Gumball: [Clicks]

Gumball and Darwin: [Covers each other's faces] [Flinches and groans]

Gumball: Dude, wait! Can't you see what's happening? The internet is tricking us with its deadliest weapon: time-wasting.

Darwin: You're right! Just one more, and then we'll go. [Clicks]

[Sounds of chanting are heard]

Gumball and Darwin: No no no no no-ohh!

[These are followed by a loud crack]

Gumball: Alright, just one more. [Clicks]

[Gumball sees his own video]

Gumball: Big mistake, internet. That was a repost.

[Cut to them running by the road]

Gumball: HA! Now that we're away from the computer, there's no way the Internet can stop us finding him!

[They stop by a pedestrian lane. The light goes green, and the duo walks across. Somewhere nearby, the internet chuckles as he watches them , and clicks something. The lights suddenly fluctuate, and go to red. Cars start passing by, and bump into each other]

Gumball: AH! Dude, the Internet is hacking into the traffic system. It's trying to get us creamed! Come on, let's run-

Darwin: Up-up-up! [Stops Gumball] No. We've been taught to always respect the rules of the road. [Cars pass by and crash into each other] These rules were invented to protect us, and they will.

[Darwin calms down, while Gumball is on his guard. The lights fluctuate, and turns green]

Darwin: Come on, it's green. [Car almost runs over him]

[More vehicles begin to pile up in the middle of the road. The traffic light tells them to stop]

Darwin: Up-up-up! Wait, stop!

[Gumball runs, and jumps over to the sidewalk, leaving Darwin behind]

Darwin: Gumball! Do you realize how dangerous that was? If you don't respect the rules, then how do you expect cars to drive safely?

[A truck comes his way. Its driver, one of the construction men tries to swerve away, and avoid Darwin]

Darwin: The rules of the road are all about trust, and you can't expect to recieve trust- [Truck passes over him, its bottom barely touching Darwin] if you don't have any trust. Know what I mean?

[Light turns green, and Darwin walks to Gumball unscathed]

Gumball: A…

Darwin: See? How hard was that?

[Many citizens crawl out of a pile of cars and other motor vehicles. Gumball gapes at them]

Gumball: A-er-uh… never mind, let's go.

[They continue. Then the Doughnut Sheriff is seen in his car, eating when suddenly the computer in his car chimes in with Gumball and Darwin's picture]

Donut Cop: Euh… Gumball and Darwin Watterson. Wanted for fraud, embezzlement, unlicensed practice of medicine, and-

[He sees them pass by]

Donut Cop: Huh? [Gasps]

[He pours his drink through his mouth, takes a bite off a sandwich and throws it away, and takes a bite off from some other foods. Then he takes a tablet, and puts it in a cup of water. He impatiently waits for it to dissolve. Then he pours the liquid through his mouth, and takes the wheel]

Donut Cop: Okay! [Drives]

[Gumball and Darwin run off the road. The sheriff stops his car, and chases them]

Donut Cop: Hey! Come back here!

[He tries to jump over his car, but instead moves through it with his butt. He gets tired after running a little]

Donut Cop: Wait! [Pulls out taser] Stop! I said stop!

[He screams in frustration, and shoots the taser towards the sky. Then he pants, and coughs]

Donut Cop: Darn it, I'm out of shape.

[A duck falls from the sky, and lands beside him]

[Cuts to the internet watching the two go to him, seemingly from a camera]

Gumball [through camera]: Okay, it's not that far now. It's just another block away.

[The internet laughs evilly, and clicks something again. The power lines near Gumball and Darwin start to surge with electricity]

Darwin: Hmm. What's that noise?

Gumball: I dunno. I can't hear over that vibrating sound.

[The internet clicks again. Darwin stops, and is almost blasted by a fire hydrant opening up on him. Then the power lines catch fire, and fall down]

Gumball: AH! Watch out!

[A post almost hits them. Then a car crashes into the fire hydrant]

Darwin: What're we gonna do!?

Gumball: I don't know! There's no way to escape the internet! Technology is everywhere!

[The scene changes to them in the park]

Darwin: Except for the park.

Gumball: Yeah, I should have thought about this earlier.

In the Internet's Lair

Timmy: [Laughs] I can be a jerk to anyone, while I'm behind the screen, in the safety and comfort of my own home.

[The door of his room explodes, and he screams. Gumball and Darwin show up]

Timmy: Who let you in?

Gumball: Your mom.

Timmy: Mom! You let enemies into my secret base?

[A computer beeps. It translates to "Sorry Timmy, I thought they were your friends"]

Timmy: You know very well that I have no friends!

Darwin: [Whispers to Gumball] Wow. The internet is way less impressive in real life than I thought it would be.

Gumball: Alright dude. Delete my video, now! Or you're going offline. [Grabs a plug]

Timmy: Huh? I can't! Nothing can be deleted from the Internet!

Gumball: You have five seconds. One…

Timmy: Don't you realize? Think about everything the world would lose!

Gumball: Two…

Timmy: Think about the educational content!

Gumball: Three…

Timmy: Think about the freedom of speech- [Muttering] Apart from the two thirds of the world that don't have it.

Gumball: Four…

Timmy: THINK ABOUT THE KITTIES!

Gumball: Five-!

Darwin: Wait, Gumball! He's right. Think about it...

[They think about the cute kittens for a long time]

Timmy: Yo, you okay? You're been staring at the ceiling for about fifteen minutes.

Gumball: [Affectionately] You're so beautiful.

Timmy: Really?

Gumball: [Whispering] Don't ever change, internet. You were meant to be free.

[They hug him]

Timmy: Ughhh! Physical contact!

Darwin: [Whispering affectionately] Just try and take some responsibilities for your actions from time to time.

Timmy: Never!

Gumball: And maybe try to laugh with people instead of always laughing at them.

Timmy: Yeah, that's right. Keep hoping!

Darwin: And try to remember that other people have hearts too.

Timmy: Get bent! This is the Internet you're talking to!

[Gumball and Darwin laugh, then stop. Episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition