The Internet/Transcript

Gumball's Video

[It is a nice sunny day outside, with kids playing and animals foraging around. But Gumball and Darwin are cooped up inside their bedroom. They're looking at videos on the Internet. The sound of wheels rolling and crunching can be heard on the unseen video. They cringe, with their eyes shut]

Gumball and Darwin: Ooh!

Gumball: Dude, his foot is pointed in the wrong direction!

Darwin: He's going to be walking in circles for the rest of his life! Click something else! Click something else!

[Gumball clicks another video with his eyes still shut. A dog barks repeatedly to the tune of a song on that unseen video. He and Darwin open their eyes]

Gumball and Darwin: Aw!

Gumball: Gosh, this is so cute, it should be illegal. [Darwin is heard gasping] What's up with you?

[Darwin has gotten very fat]

Darwin: Dude, please click something else. These puppies are so sweet, they're making me fat! [falls over out of sight]

[Gumball clicks another video, and Darwin immediately gets up, having reverted to his original shape. Eerie music is heard]

Gumball: Huh? [Looks closer at the screen, from the computer's POV] There's no ghost in this video. [Looks even closer] It's just a car driving down the r--

[A scream is heard, and Gumball freaks out for a prolonged time, making a series of funny faces. Eventually he stops, silent for a moment]

Gumball: Pbht! Wasn't scary at all. Let's watch some more people making fools of themselves.

[He clicks a video, and a familiar voice is heard. Cut to the computer monitor, and on the screen is a video of Gumball freaking out just seconds ago]

Gumball: [Shrieks] What the what?! [Begins desperately typing on the keyboard] How did that happen?! What's going on here?! Stop it!

[The video becomes viral as it pops up in a bunch of windows on screen]

Darwin: [laughs] It's your fat fingers, dude. You started the webcam and uploaded yourself by mistake.

[Gumball sticks his finger in Darwin's mouth]

Gumball: Stop laughing, and do something!

[Darwin clicks the keyboard with his foot Gumball removes his finger and wipes it on Darwin's cheek. He then buries his face in his palms]

Gumball: I'm doomed! [sobs] I broke the number-one rule of the Internet: don't put yourself on the Internet!

[He breaks down crying. Darwin consoles]

Darwin: Come on, man. Do you know how many videos there are on the Internet? You're just a drop of embarrassment in an ocean of shame. I'm sure no one's seen it yet.

[Darwin clicks, and the boys are astonished to see the number of views on Gumball's video rapidly multiplying so much that the digits are piling up on the side of the screen and then bursting out the side of the monitor]

Gumball: No! Man, how is that even possible?! That's more views than there are people on Earth! [Sobs]

Darwin: Well, on the plus side, it can't get any worse. Anyway, it's the Internet, dude. It'll die out as fast as it started.

Gumball: Delete it! Do something!

Darwin: I can't. You can't delete anything on the web.

Gumball: Do something! Do something now! Do something!!

[Darwin turns the monitor in the opposite direction, away from Gumball's view]

Gumball: Oh, yeah. That's better.

Darwin: I... think that's enough internet for today.

At the Library

Gumball: I'm really enjoying this time off from the internet. I can finally develop my brain, and study the big classics of literature!

Darwin: [Sees what Gumball is reading] "The Little Platypus Who Took the Wrong Bus"?

Gumball: Oh man, it's intense! It's this platypus baby on his quest for family and identity. Is he a duck? Is he a beaver? An otter? And more to the point, where's his mother? [Emotionally slams table] A platypus child needs his mother, dude! [Sobs]

Darwin: Well, I'm glad that's taken your mind off that video.

Gumball: Oh, yeah. No one's even mentioned it. Now that I think about it, where is everyone?

[Laughing is heard. They go to the source, and gasp in seeing students and Tobias laughing at Gumball's video. Tobias views other videos parodying Gumball's face. Slowly, they realize that Gumball is watching them]

Gumball: [Warily] What's that?

Tobias​​​​​​: You've gone kind of viral, dude. You're famous!

Gumball: What kind of fame is that!? This is stupid. I mean, what's next? The stupid face wearing a sombrero, shooting lasers at kittens, or something?!

[The next video shows exactly what Gumball describes. Tobias tries to block the video from Gumball discreetly]

Gumball: That's it, I'm telling the cyber police. [He walks away, but then walks back and kicks a trash bin. Gumball walks away again]

The "Cyber" Police's Office

Floppy Disk: Okay. Let's have a look at these pictures, and see if I can backtrace them.

[He clicks, and a pop up appears]

Floppy Disk: Ooh! Win a new car.

[He clicks the pop up, and more of them appear]

Darwin: Come on, man. Everyone knows you shouldn't click on pop-ups.

Floppy Disk: Step back, children! It's a hacker attack! Ahh! [Imitates lazers]

Darwin: Dude, just click the pop-up-blocker option.

[He clicks it, and all the pop ups disappear one by one]

Floppy Disk: What the-? That's amazing! I must send an email to the HQ!

[He writes a note, and puts it in the CD drive of the computer]

Gumball: What are you doing? That's not how you send emails.

Floppy Disk: Let the professionals do their job, kid. I've been doing this since the eighties.

Darwin: What? In the future?

Floppy Disk: No. The nineteen-eighties.

Darwin: There was a nineteen?

Gumball: [Sighs] You can't delete those videos from the internet, can you?

Floppy Disk: Nooo. But I can delete the internet. Watch and learn, kid.

[He drags the internet browser application to the trash bin]

Darwin: I'm not sure that's gonna be enough.

Floppy Disk: You're right! [Takes computer off the desk, and throws it in the trash bin] How's that?

Darwin: [Sarcastically] Yeah, sure.

Gumball: Thank you for your help, sir.

Darwin's Video

[A camera is switched on, and Darwin is seen holding a ukulele]

Darwin: Okay. One, two, three- [Inhales deeply]

Gumball: Darwin, there's no point. The internet has no heart, man. It's like a goatee. It's made out of evil.

Darwin: Gumball, there's a beating heart in everything.

Gumball: Really? What about zombies?

Darwin: [Sighs] Okay. Everyone apart from people whose hearts don't beat.

Gumball: What about jellyfish?

Darwin: Okay, I get your point. They technically don't have hearts either, but everyone else does.

Gumball: What about lawyers?

Darwin: Ugh. Just press record, please.

[Gumball records, and Darwin starts playing his instrument, and singing]

Darwin: There's a beating heart in everything, except lawyers, zombies and jellyfish.

Look inside yourself, Internet, and think you see that you are being childish.

You are adding sombreros and lasers, to a kid who looked like he was tasered.

You laugh about it thinking it's funny, but is it, Internet? Is it really?

He's just a small boy with a heart like you, why'd you keep on trying to make him blue?

There's a beating heart in everything, and I know that there is one in you.

Come on, Internet. I know you're better than that.

[Cut to Gumball and Darwin watching an edited version of Darwin singing, his song being parodied and almost unrecognizable]

Darwin: What's wrong with the internet, man? This video goes on for at least twenty minutes!

Gumball: THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU, INTERNET! I'M COMING FOR YOU! I'M GONNA GO CYBER-WARRIOR ON YOUR BUTT!

Entering the Internet

Gumball: Du du du tun-tu tun! [Imitates airlock opening as he bends over a scanner, naked] Du du du tun-tu tun!

Darwin: Control operator to virtual soldier. Commencing digital scan process.

Gumball: [Whistles as he is scanned]

Darwin: Scanning in progress. Prepare to enter the internet in three… two… [Sees Gumball's underside] AGHH-WHAT THE-AH! ABORT! ABORT! [Types repeatedly while covering his eyes] ABORT!

In the Bathroom

[Darwin cleans his unblinking eyes with a steady stream of water]

Darwin: Mrs. Mom was right. We really didn't need that high definition scanner.

Gumball: Alright, never mind. We'll just have to find the Internet's address, and deal with this in the normal world, I guess.

Darwin: [Stops washing his eyes] Don't be ridiculous. The Internet is a thing, not a person.

Shower Handle: Yeah, dude. Can't you see the difference?

[All the things in the bathroom come to life, and laugh]

Toilet: Dumb nut.

Finding the Internet

[Gumball searches something on the computer. It chimes in]

Gumball: Ha! I knew it. The Internet lives only three blocks from here! Let's go-

[The computer suddenly chimes in]

Gumball: Oooh… one-hundred funny animals in hats… click! [Clicks]

[They scan through a gallery of funny animals wearing hats, being struck by the cuteness of each one. Much time passes as they do this]

Gumball: Aww. Okay! Let's go.

[The computer suddenly chimes in again]

Gumball: [Gasps] One-hundred greatest fails of all-time? Click! [Clicks]

Gumball and Darwin: OH!

Gumball: [Clicks]

Gumball and Darwin: AH!

Gumball: [Clicks]

Gumball and Darwin: [Covers each other's faces] [Flinches and groans]

Gumball: Dude, wait! Can't you see what's happening? The internet is tricking us with its deadliest weapon: time-wasting.

Darwin: You're right! Just one more, and then we'll go. [Clicks]

[Sounds of chanting are heard]

Gumball and Darwin: No no no no no-ohh!

[These are followed by a loud crack]

Gumball: Alright, just one more. [Clicks]

[Gumball sees his own video]

Gumball: Big mistake, internet. That was a repost.

[Cut to them running by the road]

Gumball: HA! Now that we're away from the computer, there's no way the Internet can stop us finding him!

[They stop by a pedestrian lane. The light goes green, and the duo walks across. Somewhere nearby, the internet chuckles as he watches them , and clicks something. The lights suddenly fluctuate, and go to red. Cars start passing by, and bump into each other]

Gumball: AH! Dude, the Internet is hacking into the traffic system! It's trying to get us creamed! Come on, let's run-

Darwin: Up-up-up! [Stops Gumball] No. We've been taught to always respect the rules of the road. [Cars pass by and crash into each other] These rules were invented to protect us, and they will.

[Darwin calms down, while Gumball is on his guard. The lights fluctuate, and turns green]

Darwin: Come on, it's green. [Car almost runs over him]

[More vehicles begin to pile up in the middle of the road. The traffic light tells them to stop]

Darwin: Up-up-up! Wait, stop!

[Gumball runs, and jumps over to the sidewalk, leaving Darwin behind]

Darwin: Gumball! Do you realize how dangerous that was? If you don't respect the rules, then how do you expect cars to drive safely?

[A truck comes his way. Its driver, one of the construction men tries to swerve away, and avoid Darwin]

Darwin: The rules of the road are all about trust, and you can't expect to recieve trust- [Truck passes over him, its bottom barely touching Darwin] if you don't have any trust. Know what I mean?

[Light turns green, and Darwin walks to Gumball unscathed]

Gumball: A…

Darwin: See? How hard was that?

[Many citizens crawl out of a pile of cars and other motor vehicles. Gumball gapes at them]

Gumball: [Stutters] A-er-uh… never mind, let's go.

[They continue. Then the Doughnut Sheriff is seen in his car, eating when suddenly the computer in his car chimes in with Gumball and Darwin's picture]

Donut Cop: Euh… Gumball and Darwin Watterson. Wanted for fraud, embezzlement, unlicensed practice of medicine, and-

[He sees them pass by]

Donut Cop: Huh? [Gasps]

[He pours his drink through his mouth, takes a bite off a sandwich and throws it away, and takes a bite off from some other foods. Then he takes a tablet, and puts it in a cup of water. He impatiently waits for it to dissolve. Then he pours the liquid through his mouth, and takes the wheel]

Donut Cop: Okay! [Drives]

[Gumball and Darwin run off the road. The sheriff stops his car, and chases them]

Donut Cop: Hey! Come back here!

[He tries to jump over his car, but instead moves through it with his butt. He gets tired after running a little]

Donut Cop: Wait! [Pulls out taser] Stop! I said stop!

[He screams in frustration, and shoots the taser towards the sky. Then he pants, and coughs]

Donut Cop: Darn it, I'm out of shape.

[A duck falls from the sky, and lands beside him]

[Cuts to the internet watching the two go to him, seemingly from a camera]

Gumball [through camera]: Okay, it's not that far now. It's just another block away.

[The internet laughs evilly, and clicks something again. The power lines near Gumball and Darwin start to surge with electricity]

Darwin: Hmm. What's that noise?

Gumball: I dunno. I can't hear over that vibrating sound.

[The internet clicks again. Darwin stops, and is almost blasted by a fire hydrant opening up on him. Then the power lines catch fire, and fall down]

Gumball: AH! Watch out!

[A post almost hits them. Then a car crashes into the fire hydrant]

Darwin: What're we gonna do!?

Gumball: I don't know! There's no way to escape the internet! Technology is everywhere!

[The scene changes to them in the park]

Darwin: Except for the park.

Gumball: Yeah, I should have thought about this earlier.

In the Internet's Lair

Timmy: [Laughs] I can be a jerk to anyone, while I'm behind the screen, in the safety and comfort of my own home!

[The door of his room explodes, and he screams. Gumball and Darwin show up]

Timmy: Who let you in?

Gumball: Your mom.

Timmy: Mom! You let enemies into my secret base?

[A dial-up modem handshake plays off-screen. Subtitles translate this to "Sorry Timmy, I thought they were your friends."]

Timmy: [Shouting] You know very well I don’t have any friends!

Darwin: [Whispers to Gumball] Wow. The internet is way less impressive in real life than I thought it would be.

Gumball: Alright dude. Delete my video, now! Or you're going offline. [Grabs a plug]

Timmy: Huh? I can't! Nothing can be deleted from the Internet!

Gumball: You have five seconds. One…

Timmy: Don't you realize? Think about everything the world would lose!

Gumball: Two…

Timmy: Think about the educational content!

Gumball: Three…

Timmy: Think about the freedom of speech- [Muttering] Apart from the two thirds of the world that don't have it.

Gumball: Four…

Timmy: THINK ABOUT THE KITTIES!

Gumball: Five-!

Darwin: Wait, Gumball! He's right. Think about it...

[They think about the cute kittens for a long time]

Timmy: Yo, you okay? You're been staring at the ceiling for about fifteen minutes.

Gumball: [Affectionately] You're so beautiful.

Timmy: Really?

Gumball: [Whispering] Don't ever change, internet. You were meant to be free.

[They hug him]

Timmy: Ughhh! Physical contact!

Darwin: [Whispering affectionately] Just try and take some responsibilities for your actions from time to time.

Timmy: Never!

Gumball: And maybe try to laugh with people instead of always laughing at them.

Timmy: Yeah, that's right. Keep hoping!

Darwin: And try to remember that other people have hearts too.

Timmy: Get bent! This is the Internet you're talking to!

Gumball and Darwin: [Laughs] ... Meh.

[Episode ends]

v • e

Episode 1 "The DVD"	Episode 2 "The Responsible"	Episode 3 "The Third"	Episode 4 "The Debt"
Episode 5 "The End"	Episode 6 "The Dress"	Episode 7 "The Quest"	Episode 8 "The Spoon"
Episode 9 "The Pressure"	Episode 10 "The Painting"	Episode 11 "The Laziest"	Episode 12 "The Ghost"
Episode 13 "The Mystery"	Episode 14 "The Prank"	Episode 15 "The Gi"	Episode 16 "The Kiss"
Episode 17 "The Party"	Episode 18 "The Refund"	Episode 19 "The Robot"	Episode 20 "The Picnic"
Episode 21 "The Goons"	Episode 22 "The Secret"	Episode 23 "The Sock"	Episode 24 "The Genius"
Episode 25 "The Poltergeist"	Episode 26 "The Mustache"	Episode 27 "The Date"	Episode 28 "The Club"
Episode 29 "The Wand"	Episode 30 "The Ape"	Episode 31 "The Car"	Episode 32 "The Curse"
Episode 33 "The Microwave"	Episode 34 "The Meddler"	Episode 35 "The Helmet"	Episode 36 "The Fight"

Episode 1 "The Remote"	Episode 2 "The Colossus"	Episode 3 "The Knights"	Episode 4 "The Fridge"
Episode 5 "The Flower"	Episode 6 "The Banana"	Episode 7 "The Phone"	Episode 8 "The Job"
Episode 9 "Halloween"	Episode 10 "The Treasure"	Episode 11 "The Apology"	Episode 12 "The Words"
Episode 13 "The Skull"	Episode 14 "The Bet"	Episode 15 "Christmas"	Episode 16 "The Watch"
Episode 17 "The Bumpkin"	Episode 18 "The Flakers"	Episode 19 "The Authority"	Episode 20 "The Virus"
Episode 21 "The Pony"	Episode 22 "The Hero"	Episode 23 "The Dream"	Episode 24 "The Sidekick"
Episode 25 "The Photo"	Episode 26 "The Tag"	Episode 27 "The Storm"	Episode 28 "The Lesson"
Episode 29 "The Game"	Episode 30 "The Limit"	Episode 31 "The Voice"	Episode 32 "The Promise"
Episode 33 "The Castle"	Episode 34 "The Boombox"	Episode 35 "The Tape"	Episode 36 "The Sweaters"
Episode 37 "The Internet"	Episode 38 "The Plan"	Episode 39 "The World"	Episode 40 "The Finale"

Episode 1 "The Kids"	Episode 2 "The Fan"	Episode 3 "The Coach"	Episode 4 "The Joy"
Episode 5 "The Puppy"	Episode 6 "The Recipe"	Episode 7 "The Name"	Episode 8 "The Extras"
Episode 9 "The Gripes"	Episode 10 "The Vacation"	Episode 11 "The Fraud"	Episode 12 "The Void"
Episode 13 "The Boss"	Episode 14 "The Move"	Episode 15 "The Law"	Episode 16 "The Allergy"
Episode 17 "The Mothers"	Episode 18 "The Password"	Episode 19 "The Procrastinators"	Episode 20 "The Shell"
Episode 21 "The Burden"	Episode 22 "The Bros"	Episode 23 "The Mirror"	Episode 24 "The Man"
Episode 25 "The Pizza"	Episode 26 "The Lie"	Episode 27 "The Butterfly"	Episode 28 "The Question"
Episode 29 "The Saint"	Episode 30 "The Friend"	Episode 31 "The Oracle"	Episode 32 "The Safety"
Episode 33 "The Society"	Episode 34 "The Spoiler"	Episode 35 "The Countdown"	Episode 36 "The Nobody"
Episode 37 "The Downer"	Episode 38 "The Egg"	Episode 39 "The Triangle"	Episode 40 "The Money"

Episode 1 "The Return"	Episode 2 "The Nemesis"	Episode 3 "The Crew"	Episode 4 "The Others"
Episode 5 "The Signature"	Episode 6 "The Check"	Episode 7 "The Pest"	Episode 8 "The Sale"
Episode 9 "The Gift"	Episode 10 "The Parking"	Episode 11 "The Routine"	Episode 12 "The Upgrade"
Episode 13 "The Comic"	Episode 14 "The Romantic"	Episode 15 "The Uploads"	Episode 16 "The Apprentice"
Episode 17 "The Hug"	Episode 18 "The Wicked"	Episode 19 "The Traitor"	Episode 20 "The Origins"
Episode 21 "The Origins: Part Two"	Episode 22 "The Girlfriend"	Episode 23 "The Advice"	Episode 24 "The Signal"
Episode 25 "The Parasite"	Episode 26 "The Love"	Episode 27 "The Awkwardness"	Episode 28 "The Nest"
Episode 29 "The Points"	Episode 30 "The Bus"	Episode 31 "The Night"	Episode 32 "The Misunderstandings"
Episode 33 "The Roots"	Episode 34 "The Blame"	Episode 35 "The Slap"	Episode 36 "The Detective"
Episode 37 "The Fury"	Episode 38 "The Compilation"	Episode 39 "The Scam"	Episode 40 "The Disaster"

Episode 1 "The Rerun"	Episode 2 "The Stories"	Episode 3 "The Guy"	Episode 4 "The Boredom"
Episode 5 "The Vision"	Episode 6 "The Choices"	Episode 7 "The Code"	Episode 8 "The Test"
Episode 9 "The Slide"	Episode 10 "The Loophole"	Episode 11 "The Fuss"	Episode 12 "The Copycats"
Episode 13 "The Potato"	Episode 14 "The Outside"	Episode 15 "The Vase"	Episode 16 "The Matchmaker"
Episode 17 "The Box"	Episode 18 "The Console"	Episode 19 "The Ollie"	Episode 20 "The Catfish"
Episode 21 "The Cycle"	Episode 22 "The Stars"	Episode 23 "The Grades"	Episode 24 "The Diet"
Episode 25 "The Ex"	Episode 26 "The Sorcerer"	Episode 27 "The Menu"	Episode 28 "The Uncle"
Episode 29 "The Weirdo"	Episode 30 "The Heist"	Episode 31 "The Singing"	Episode 32 "The Best"
Episode 33 "The Worst"	Episode 34 "The Deal"	Episode 35 "The Petals"	Episode 36 "The Nuisance"
Episode 37 "The Line"	Episode 38 "The List"	Episode 39 "The News"	Episode 40 "The Puppets"

Episode 1 "The Rival"	Episode 2 "The Lady"	Episode 3 "The Sucker"	Episode 4 "The Vegging"
Episode 5 "The One"	Episode 6 "The Father"	Episode 7 "The Cringe"	Episode 8 "The Cage"
Episode 9 "The Neighbor"	Episode 10 "The Anybody"	Episode 11 "The Faith"	Episode 12 "The Candidate"
Episode 13 "The Pact"	Episode 14 "The Shippening"	Episode 15 "The Brain"	Episode 16 "The Parents"
Episode 17 "The Founder"	Episode 18 "The Schooling"	Episode 19 "The Intelligence"	Episode 20 "The Potion"
Episode 21 "The Spinoffs"	Episode 22 "The Transformation"	Episode 23 "The Understanding"	Episode 24 "The Ad"
Episode 25 "The Ghouls"	Episode 26 "The Stink"	Episode 27 "The Awareness"	Episode 28 "The Slip"
Episode 29 "The Drama"	Episode 30 "The Buddy"	Episode 31 "The Possession"	Episode 32 "The Master"
Episode 33 "The Silence"	Episode 34 "The Future"	Episode 35 "The Wish"	Episode 36 "The Factory"
Episode 37 "The Agent"	Episode 38 "The Web"	Episode 39 "The Mess"	Episode 40 "The Heart"
Episode 41 "The Revolt"	Episode 42 "The Decisions"	Episode 43 "The BFFs"	Episode 44 "The Inquisition"

Episode 1 "The Burger"	Episode 2 "The Assistant"	Episode 3 "The Distance"	Episode 4 "The Thing"
Episode 5 "The Butts"	Episode 6 "The Traffic"	Episode 7 "The Astrological"	Episode 8 "The Cheerleader"
Episode 9 "The Boring"	Episode 10 "The Teacher"	Episode 11 "The App"	Episode 12 "The Entrance"
Episode 13 "The Letter"	Episode 14 "The Gut"	Episode 15 "The Wrinkle"	Episode 16 "The Gourmet"
Episode 17 "The Pool"	Episode 18 "The Portrait"	Episode 19 "The Climb"	Episode 20 "The Amadain"

Episode 21 "The Summoning"	Episode 22 "The Unfollow"	Episode 23 "The Promposal"	Episode 24 "The Trumpet"
Episode 25 "The Synthesis"	Episode 26 "The Cheapmas"	Episode 27 "The Score"	Episode 28 "The Diary"
Episode 29 "The Punishment"	Episode 30 "The Roast"	Episode 31 "The Survivalists"	Episode 32 "The Labels"
Episode 33 "The Fools"	Episode 34 "The Homework"	Episode 35 "The Sonder"	Episode 36 "The Mister"
Episode 37 "The Tracking"	Episode 38 "The Pants"	Episode 39 "The Necroprancer"	Episode 40 "The Rewrite"