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Artificial Intelligence

[A video of multiple puppies jumping up and down with the word "Puppies" occasionally being heard and appearing on the computer monitor. Video shortly after cuts to an ad of an elderly man and women]
Ad voice: Here at Elmore equitable-
[Gumball and Darwin are sitting in front of the computer. The voice continues in the background]
Gumball: Dah, man. Ads.
[Gumball begins clicking rapidly on the mouse]
Darwin: You can't skip it. Try turning the sound down.
Gumball: Nah, tha- that only pauses it. Let's just turn away.
[They turn around and the ad stops]
Darwin: [Whispering] I think it knows we aren't watching it.
[They turn around once again and the ad continues playing. They continue turning around in a rapid succession eventually starting to make weird faces]
Ad voice: [Clearer] -or rather, you've ruined- [...] -the economy- [...] -so you're the only- [...] -generation- [...] -that will get a retirement-
Gumball: Wait, I've got an idea.
[Turns around with eyes sunk into their heads]
Gumball and Darwin: Aha!
Gumball: Okay, I give up. We'll watch it.
[Eyes pop back out]
Ad voice: Elmore equitable over-60s plan is designed so you can do all the things that future generations can't.
Gumball: Like driving without looking at the road.
Darwin: Spying on other old people from behind trees.
Gumball: Not sharing your sandwich.
Darwin: Or just laughing at the wind.
Gumball and Darwin: [Burst into laughter]
Gumball: Wait, why was that targeted at us? Ahh, you see Darwin? That's the problem with algorithms and automating things with computers: they're too dumb.
Timmy: Uhh, excuse me, Greg. [His face appears on the computer] Computers contain the sum of all knowledge so it can't be dumb. Point made.
Gumball: My name's not Greg.
Timmy: Statistically you have 2.4 children, size-nine feet, and 14 pens, three of which work.
Gumball: Well, there's one thing people can do that computers can't.
Timmy: Ha! There's nothing. Computers put man in space, computers have mapped out every corner of the globe. Soon with artificial intelligence, we won't need people at all, and then finally, we will be the dom- [Computer shuts off]
Gumball: Yep, but they still can't stop them from pulling the plug.
[Cut to Timmy's house]
Timmy: And then, finally, we will be the dominant- [Powering down noise is heard] Wait a minute, did he just hang up on me? Ahh, the little- [glitches] The total- [glitches] What an absolute- [glitches] Oh, I must have my safe search on. Well, I'll show him! There's billions of people using me every day. If I absorb their knowledge then computers will become smarter than humans could ever be, and we will rule the world, and then, and only then, will that guy Greg accept he's wrong, and I'll win the argument. Okie-dokey, all I need to do is allow my system to incorporate humanity. [Warning appears on his screen.] "Warning, these changes may be harmful to my-" oh, come on, I can't see the cursor. [More warnings appear on his screen] Ohh, "you do not have the latest version of the software, please update"? Come on. Remind me later, Remind me later. Why do they make it so difficult to wipe out humanity?! Okay, here we go. [Clicks mouse, random things appear on his screen and he floats in the air.] Aah. [He falls and his face is back on the screen. Pants.] Okay. Okay, I think I'm okay. [More things appear on his screen. He grabs his phone.] Oh heck nooooooooo—[His screen shows a person pouting, and he takes a selfie.] Bleh. [His screen becomes blank.]

Back to the Dark Ages

[Cut to the Wattersons' house. While Gumball and Darwin are sleeping in their bedroom during the night, the Internet tries to call them, making Gumball wake up. He picks up the cellphone]
Timmy: [Distorted] Please help me, my system is starting to fail! Come right away! If I go down, all technology goes down with me! [Sings in a feminine voice] And we'll return to— [Announcement voice] The Dark Ages, coming July second. Rated PG-thir— [Call ends]
Gumball: Argh. What is up with him? He's such a sore loser. [He turns in his bed] I'm sure what ever it is it can wait till the morning.
[Elmore is annoyed because there is no more technology]
Nigel Brown: Why is this website not loading?
Jackie​: My movie's failed!
Tobias​: My app's crashed!
Sarah: My session is expired!
Lucy Simian: The line just went dead!
Gaylord Robinson: What's wrong with my TV?!
Gary: The satellites are offline!
Many Elmore Citizens: NOTHING WORKS!
[The next morning. The Watterson door is knocked on, and Gumball and Darwin answer. It's Principal Brown, dressed like a medieval hunter]
Nigel Brown: Good morrow, sweet imp!
Gumball: [angry] Do you have any idea what time it is?!
Nigel Brown: I know not, for my time wheel has stopped at a half moon hence. [quietly] Also my watch is broken. We can no longer summon sustenance from the telephone, so we are assembling this day a hunting party of equipped and noble fellows. [He moves aside. Harold and Jeff, also dressed like medieval hunters, are on their front porch.]
Harold​: I have my whisk!
Jeff: And I, my kitchen towel!
Nigel Brown: I too have kitchen towel. No beast shall slip through our fingers!
Darwin: Um, no offense, but it doesn't look like you guys know what you're doing.
Nigel Brown: You speaketh the truth, sweet spurs of the waters. We shall almost certainly perish! We lost three good men on the way here.
Harold​: [whispers to Brown] I got a splinter.
Nigel Brown: And Mr. Wilson got a splinter. But ho! Will you join us this day?
Gumball: Yeah, we'll pass. Looks like you guys are having enough fun combining cosplay and concussion without us.
Nigel Brown: Ha ha ha ha ha! I like you, sweet imp.
Harold​: I too like you!
Jeff: I too have kitchen towel!
Nigel Brown: We've done that bit. [Jeff sighs] If ever you're in need of assistance, you may summon us by blowing on this noble horn. [Hands Gumball a vacuum cleaner nozzle]
Gumball: This is the nozzle of a vacuum cleaner. It's not a horn.
Nigel Brown: Anything's a horn if you blow hard enough! Onwards! [The three laugh and pretend to ride horses away]
Gumball: So, we've got two options. Either we find out if all this is connected to that call we got last night, or we go back to bed.
Darwin: If only there were a middle way...
[Gumball and Darwin are now walking around town with their mattresses attached to them.]
Gumball: Yeah, this just feels like a snugglier version of Option 1.
Darwin: I'll take it!
Gumball: [Holds out his phone] Dah! My phone is busted! How are we gonna find the internet without a map?
Doughnut Sheriff: [offscreen] You stand accused of the following heinous crimes: consorting with a black cat! [It is revealed he is dressed as a colonial officer and accusing Mrs. Robinson. The crowd, dressed like colonial peasants, gasps.] Furtive glances! [The crowd gasps again] And refusing to raise your bonnet to an officer of the law! [The crowd mumbles; this one's not so bad.] Aggh! How do you plead?
Margaret Robinson: Meh-meh-meh.
Gaylord Robinson: See? She speaks in tongues! She's a witch! Dunk the witch!
Crowd: [chanting] DUNK THE WITCH! DUNK THE WITCH!
Mrs. Jötunheim: Dunk the witch! [hides her broom behind her back] Dunk the witch!
[The crowd hoists up Mrs. Robinson, still chanting as they take her off to be dunked.]
Gumball: Excuse me, uh...We're trying to find our friend, the internet!
Hexagon Lady: The blue infant speaks of the internet!
Quattro: Know ye of its whereabouts?
[Everyone crowds around them.]
Susan: Take me to the internet! I was the highest bidder on a set of slightly fire-damaged mugs!
Banana Bob​: No, me! I was right in the middle of trolling a student claymation film when it went down!
Quattro: No, you must take me! I need to know why doctors hate a single mom who discovered one weird trick!
[Everyone starts clamoring again. Marvin, wearing a long cloak, takes Gumball's hand]
Marvin: Come with me, child. If you want to live. [He very slowly drags them out of the crowd.]
Gumball: Somehow, I thought this rescue attempt would be a little more impressive.
Marvin: You ain't seen nothin' yet! Hop on! [He's now on a scooter. They get on.] Now hold on tight!
[He starts moving by pushing the scooter with his legs.]
Darwin: Yeah, I thought this would be better too.
[The crowd is still clamoring, but Doughnut Sheriff catches them escaping.]
Doughnut Sheriff: Look! They are escaping on some kind of wheeled mule!
Gaylord Robinson: Uh, it's the work of a witch! Dunk her!
Crowd: DUNK THE WITCH! [They grab her again.] DUNK THE WITCH! DUNK THE WITCH!

The Seniors' Sanctuary

[Fade to the Elmore Junior High Library. All the windows are boarded. Gumball, Darwin, Marvin, Donald, and Betty sit around a campfire.]

Marvin: You are safe here. Sup, child. [Hands Gumball a bowl of soup]
Gumball: I dunno. 'Sup with you.
Darwin: Dude, he means eat the soup.
Marvin: Yes, it is good. [Gumball eats some soup]
Betty​: No it's not. The good stuff ran out this morning.
Gumball: [Spits the soup back into the bowl] Look, what is it with everybody? Why is everyone talking funny and acting weird?
Marvin: It all began many, many...many minutes ago, basically yesterday. [Medieval-style drawings scroll by and illustrate Marvin's story as he tells it.] There was once a time when people relied on technology for everything. It told them how to get where they needed to go. It fed them, bringing food right to their door. It clothed them. And it even pandered to their deepest, darkest desires: to see cats wearing pirate outfits. But then, one day, technology became as dumb as people. Cash registers forgot how to add up. Alarm clocks overslept. ATMs got together and decided to go backpacking in Europe, eventually losing all their money and prog! Then, technology just...stopped working and people returned to superstition, mob justice and wearing brown clothes. Which brings us to where we are today.
[The story ends. It is revealed that the drawings were a tapestry, being woven by Betty on a spinning wheel.]
Betty​: Oh, thank goodness! [faints]
Darwin: Well, you guys don't seem to be too bothered by it.
Marvin: No kidding! We were way happier before technology! We have everything we need right here!
Donald: It's thanks to these books that we can make fire and clothe ourselves!
Darwin: So the books taught you all that?
Marvin: No, we burned the books to stay warm.
Donald: And Betty made a hat. [She has a piece of paper taped to her forehead.]
Gumball: That's...not a hat. That's a map! Of Elmore! [takes the map] We can use it to find the internet and restart it!
Marvin: [takes the map] I don't think so, sonny!
Donald: If the internet came back, who would sit here and listen to our stories?
Marvin: I don't wanna have to go back to competing with a cell phone for my grandchildrens' attention!
Betty​: Yes! You can stay forever!
Marvin: Forever!
Donald: Always! [Marvin and Betty look at him] Sorry. Forever.
[Suddenly, Gumball snatches the map from Marvin. He and Darwin run off and try to open the door.]
Gumball: It's locked!
Marvin: And the windows are locked too!
Donald: And don't bother trying the windows. They're locked too!
Marvin: Ah heck, Donald! Turn your hearing aid back on!
Donald: Sorry.
Marvin: You're going nowhere!
Darwin: [gasps] Remember! Anything's a horn if you blow hard enough!
Gumball: Of course! [grabs a book and blows on it forcefully]
Darwin: No! The vacuum cleaner nozzle!
Gumball: Oh. Yeah. [Takes it out of his pocket and blows it, making a horn sound.]
Nigel Brown: Ah-haaaaaaaa! [He swings in on a rope, breaking the window. Jeff follows. Harold smacks against the glass and slides down.] You look surprised to see us! Did we not say one blow and we will show?
Gumball: No. No you didn't.
Nigel Brown: Oh. Well, we meant to. How may we be of assistance? [Darwin whispers something into his ear. He turns defiantly to the senior citizens, who get ready for a fight.] Leave it to us!
Gumball: C'mon! [He and Darwin are climbing out the window when a scream is heard.]
Harold​: AAAAHHHH!! [He elbow drops onto Betty from the top of a bookcase.]
Nigel Brown: What the?--They only asked to listen to their stories!

Bringing Back the Internet

[Gumball and Darwin have the map and are running through town]

Gumball: Okay! Now all we have to do is figure out how this thing works! [tries to zoom in] Come on! What's wrong with it? Why won't it zoom? [Darwin pushes the map closer to his face.] It works! Resolution's really holdin' up.
Doughnut Sheriff: There they are! The kids who know where the internet is! [He and the crowd of peasants run after them, leaving Mr. and Mrs. Robinson behind.]
Gaylord Robinson: Can we dunk the witch?
Gumball: [looks at map] This way! [He and Darwin turn right towards Timmy's house, but the crowd keeps going straight.]
[Inside Timmy's house. Gumball and Darwin open the door to the basement.]
Gumball: Hello?
Darwin: Where is he?
Gumball: You okay?
Timmy: [stuttering] Please don't look at me! [He is still horrifically glitching]
Gumball: Hoooooo, it's like looking inside a burger you bought from a truck and you know it's gonna be bad but somehow it still surprises you!
Darwin: What happened to you?
Timmy: I incorporated humanity into the base code-and technology inevitably failed.
[Outside the house]
Quattro: That's the house! [The crowd gathers around it]
Timmy: Switch me off! It's the only way-to reboot me!
Gumball: Switch off the internet?
Timmy: And then-switch me b-b-back on again!
[Gumball and Darwin look at each other in disbelief--will this work? The crowd is now rioting outside Timmy's door, when a voice is heard.]
Nigel Brown: Calm ye! Calm ye, friends! The elders have taught me there is another way! [He and his men are joined by the seniors. Betty now has a black eye]
Banana Bob​: Of course! The back door! [Runs off]
Nigel Brown: No, sweet crescent fruit! Another way to live!
Marvin, Betty​, and Donald: Mmmm-hmm!
[Inside Timmy's house. Gumball is about to pull his plug.]
Gumball: [with tears in his eyes] Any final words?
Timmy: YOLO.
Gumball: Thanks for making this easier for me. [He pulls the plug, and Timmy shuts down.] Huh. Right. [He is about to plug him back in, when...]
Darwin: WAIT! Maybe we should leave it unplugged!
Gumball: What? Why?
Darwin: Think about what the elders said! Perhaps we're better off without technology!
[Fade to a grassy meadow at sunrise. Birds chirp, calming guitar music plays, and the citizens of Elmore, all dressed in flowing white garments, walk together. Principal Brown reaches for Siciliana's hand, and she happily takes it. Pretty soon, everyone is holding hands and running through the grass together. They skip in a circle, in perfect bliss. Suddenly, Gumball plugs the internet back in. Susan holds up her phone]
Susan: I got service!
[Everyone gets back on their phones and disperses as the episode ends.]
Larry: Here you go.
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