Hunting for Friends

[The episode begins in first person view, through the eyes of an unknown character chasing after students in the corridors of Elmore Junior High. It starts running towards Anton, who manages to hide in his locker, and while looking around spots Banana Joe]
Banana Joe: She's hunting again!
[He drops his book and runs away. Alan, who was beside him, lets out a shriek and self destructs, popping himself. Teri screams and slides under a locked door. Tobias' colors flush out as he panics, rendering him invisible enough for her to not notice. The mysterious character then goes after Tina and pulls off her tail, leaving her to run away unbalanced. The next victim, Bobert, is in the schoolyard]
Bobert: Self-protection mode.
[Metal plates cover Bobert's body as the character's pink hands reach for him. The view switches to third person and reveals Anais attacking an immobile, shielded Bobert. Gumball and Darwin sit on a nearby bench, watching their sister go on a rampage; her next target is Carmen, who notices Anais and gasps]
Gumball: Hm, I wonder what Carmen's defense mechanism is.
[Anais pounces on Carmen, but is stung by her spines]
Anais: Ow! [Pokes Carmen] Oww!
Gumball: Oh, of course.
[Anais hisses at her, and runs towards Hector]
Gumball: No no no no! Hector's defense mechanism is—
[Hector falls down with a loud crash]
Gumball: —playing possum.
Anais: [Sighs] It's not working...
Darwin: When I said you need to hunt for friends, that's not what I meant.
Gumball: Yeah, you should have gone for the blowgun like I told you. More of an element of surprise.
Anais: [Shushing Gumball] Shh! Friend...
[They look ahead and see a lone person who hasn't ran away, sitting on a bench and reading a book. Anais takes a deep breath and prepares to fire a blowgun. Darwin stops her]
Darwin: Why don't you just say hi...?
[Anais approaches the stranger hesitantly and suddenly starts yelling]

Anais Makes a Friend

Anais: HI! I'M ANAIS!
[They both dance energetically and then stop, smiling at each other awkwardly]
Anais: OKAY! [Runs up to Gumball and Darwin] Did you see that? He wants to be my friend!
Gumball: Great! How much did he charge you?
Anais: What?! Nothing!
Gumball: Hmm...
Darwin: That's weird.
Gumball: Yeah. Must be after something. Did he...look like he needed a new kidney?
Anais: No, he just looked very happy!
Darwin: Did he offer to pack your suitcase the next time you go to the airport?
Gumball: Is he in some crazy wacko organization that worships crystals? [Whispering] Or a space frog?
Anais: There's nothing wrong with him! Why can't you be happy for me for just one minute?
Gumball: Ah, you know the old saying: "He who befriends the oddest ball is the creepiest of them all."
Anais: ...That's not even a thing, I've never heard of it before.
Gumball: That's because, "The saying that you never knew is the one that rings the most true."
Anais: Yeah, well, "He who only speaks in quotes often forgets to think for himself."
Gumball and Darwin: [Shaking their heads] Hmm, no.
Darwin: Doesn't work.
Gumball: Yeah, it's only true if it rhymes.
Anais: [Sighs] "He's just a nice guy, not a frog, or a phony. You two always talk such a load of baloney." [Walks away]
Gumball: That's it! ...wait, what?
Darwin: Rude.
[The school bell rings. Anais sits next to Josh in the cafeteria, staring at him suspiciously]
Anais: So, Josh, tell me more about yourself. Do you like school? Are you into music? Have you ever been to prison?
Josh: Yes, yes, and no. But not necessarily in that order. [He winks at her, and they both laugh]
Anais: Haha, yeah, this is going so well, I hate it...
Josh: What? Why?
Anais: Because if you like me there must be something wrong with you!
Josh: Well, to be honest, I do have trouble making friends.
Anais: Darn it! That's another thing we have in common.
Josh: But that's great, isn't it? We should hang out this weekend!
Anais: [bitterly] Yes, I genuinely look forward to it.
[Anais leaves the table to join Gumball and Darwin in the hallway]
Anais: [Sighs] There's bound to be something wrong with him. Or is there something wrong with me?
Gumball: Hey, it's not him or you! It's both of you.
Anais: Ugh, he's too perfect! There's gotta be something wrong with him...
Gumball: Just say the word.
Anais: [Sighs] Do I have to?
Gumball: Yeah, if you want us to find out what's wrong with him.
Anais: Can't you just help me?
Gumball: [Softly] Say it.
Anais: [Sighs] ...BRO SQUAD! ACTIVATE!
Gumball and Darwin: YEAAAAH!
[Gumball activates a watch-like device and a transformation sequence starts. A suit and helmet materialize on Gumball and Darwin as they perform a choreography and pose heroically, surrounded by lasers, flowers, and space. The sequence cuts to show them kicking and throwing punches in the air in the hallway while Anais watches, unimpressed. She walks off making fighting poses as well and her brothers follow]

Finding Something Wrong with Josh

[Anais sits at Joyful Burger in the mall. Gumball is wearing a Bavarian costume and a fake moustache]
Anais: I still don't get it.
Gumball: It's simple. To know what a person's really like, just watch how he treats a waiter.
Anais: No, I mean, why is Darwin still doing that?
[The camera pans to Darwin, who stands in the middle of the mall, doing the same poses as earlier]
Gumball: Aww. He just loves the Bro Squad stuff.
Anais: Quick, here he comes!
[Josh arrives in the restaurant and sits down in front of Anais]
Josh: Hey! Thanks for coming.
Gumball: [In a strange accent] Hello, my name is...uh...Ferzandelerp. I am from far away land. I be waiter of you today. Here's tap water for table of two. [Spills water on Josh] Oh, no, Ferzandelerp so sorry!
Josh: That's okay, I had thirsty feet.
Gumball: [Laughs] You very funny. What is name of you?
Josh: Josh.
Gumball: In my language, "Josh" means "toilet paper." Nice meet you.
[Josh prepares to shake hands, but Gumball sticks his fingers in Josh's nose]
Gumball: This hello from other land. What you like order?
Josh: A milkshake.
Gumball: Coming right up.
[Gumball leaves for a moment and comes back with a drink. Josh sips it and starts to choke]
Josh: What is this?
Gumball: A meatshake. Shake made of meat. You like?
Josh: No no, it's great.
[Josh holds back from throwing up and swallows the drink, giving a thumbs up. Gumball throws the drink in his face]
Gumball: How dare you?! This means great insult in my country!
Josh: Oh, I'm sorry! Which country are you from?
Gumball: [In a Jersey accent] New Jersey.
Josh: Er... Can I get the check, please?
[Gumball places the check on the table]
Josh: Here you go.
[Josh hands a few bills. Gumball takes it and rips off his fake moustache]
Gumball: A-ha! This is where we see who you truly are! [Counts bills] Dag nabbit. Not one word of complaint and he gave me a fifty percent tip!
Josh: Uh, I'm sorry but who are you?
Anais: My brother. I'm sorry, he's...really weird.
[Larry walks up to Josh and Anais' table, glaring at Gumball]
Gumball: Oh.
[Gumball is thrown out of the restaurant]
Josh: [Laughs] Well. At least he's not that weird as that kid. [Points to Darwin]
Anais: That' other brother.
Josh: [Laughs] Oh, okay. Any other weird family members I should know about?
[Behind Anais, Richard is complaining to Larry]
Richard: But that's outrageous! This sandwich is nowhere near as big as advertised!
Larry: I'm sorry, sir, but it does say "not to scale."
Richard: Well, I demand to see your manager.
[Anais shakes her head for "No."]
[Gumball, Darwin, Anais and Josh are walking in the park]
Gumball: Guys! Let's play "Spot and Burn!"
Anais: What's that?
Gumball: [Whispers to Anais] A good way to see how mean he really is.
[The four sit on a bench and see Billy going down a slide]
Gumball: [Imitating Billy's voice] Hello, my name is Heady McThunderdome. My head is so big that my inner voice has an echo, echo, echo... When I grow up, I want to be a solar eclipse. [Normal voice] See? You spot someone, and then you rag on them. Like, um, Marvin over there!
[He points a finger at Marvin, who is feeding ducks at a pond]
Gumball: [Imitating Marvin's voice] My face is so wrinkly that it takes me an hour to pull an expression.
Marvin: Hey, I heard that!
[Marvin's expression takes a few seconds to change into a frown. Gumball points at someone else]
Gumball: Your turn. This guy!
Josh: Uhh...
Gumball: Come on! I'll help you. [Imitating a cowboy's voice] Howdy. I wear a giant hat to compensate for...?
Josh: ...the Sun? [Shrugs]
[Gumball frowns in disapproval]
Josh: ...What?
Gumball: Okay. You can go.
Josh: What?
Gumball: You're good. You can leave.
Josh: Huh?
Gumball: Hm-hm. Hm-hm.
[Gumball makes a sign for Josh to leave, and he does]
Darwin: What now?
Anais: You don't know, do you? ...Yeah, he doesn't know.
[Darwin and Anais start to walk away]
Darwin: [Gasps] How about we set up a situation that tempts him to commit a crime?
Gumball: [Gasps] That's what I was gonna say! ...I wasn't.
[Cut to the Watterson kids in the street. Darwin places a wallet on the sidewalk]
Anais: Wait. What if we're wrong about him and he's a genuinely nice guy?
Darwin: Yeah, what would that make us?
[They stop to think for a moment]
Anais: Yeah, we're in too deep down, we may as well keep digging and hope we find some dirt.
[Anais hides behind a trash can, while Gumball is only hidden by a lamppost. Unable to find a good spot, Darwin just stands behind Gumball]
Anais: Can't you find a better hiding place?
Darwin: Hold on, I've got this!
[Darwin pushes an entire bus stop next to Gumball and hides behind it]
Anais: Oh, good job! That doesn't look suspicious at all!
Gumball: Shh! Here he comes!
[Josh walks by, but doesn't seem to notice the wallet]
Gumball: He didn't see it!
Darwin: Draw his attention to it, make a wallet sound!
[Gumball shrugs and takes a deep breath]
Gumball: [In a strange voice] Wallet.
[Josh stops, confused]
Darwin: That's not the sound a wallet makes!
Gumball: You do it then if you're so—
[Darwin grinds his teeth, making a perfect wallet sound]
Gumball: Actually that was really good.
Anais: Uh, guys?
[They come out of their hiding spots]
Josh: Was that a trap? Are you trying to set me up? This is what you've been doing all week, isn't it? Trying to make me look bad, testing me.
Darwin: Aaaand, you passed!
[Darwin imitates a triumphant fanfare, but stops as he notices Josh is not at all convinced]
Josh: Anais, did you know about this?
Anais: [Laughs nervously] The real question is this: when you think about it, can you truly know any— Yes, I asked them to do it.
Josh: Well, it was nice knowing you.
Gumball: Eh, we've had worse goodbyes.
Josh: Not you, it was nice knowing her! It was horrible knowing you two. [Walks off]
Gumball: Well! At least it can't get any worse, right?
[A seagull flies by and steals the wallet]

Come Back, Josh

[At school, Gumball and Darwin look out the window, watching Anais play ping pong by herself. They walk into the schoolyard]
Gumball: Hey, sis. Listen. We've been thinking—
Anais: Yeah, I know. But thanks to you, I messed up a chance to make a friend. So, here I am!
Gumball: No no, I meant— Y-You know, you can just put one side of the table upright and then play against that.
Anais: Yeah, but that wouldn't make you feel bad now, would it?
[Gumball and Darwin walk back inside and come across Josh]
Darwin: What do we do now?
Gumball: There's only one solution.
[A brief fantasy sequence shows Gumball and Darwin sneaking into the showering stalls with a camera]
Gumball: We take some embarrassing photos of Josh, and blackmail him—
Darwin: [Interrupting the sequence] No, no, no! There must be other solutions. We just walk up to him and straight-up lie.
[Another sequence starts, where Gumball and Darwin speak to Josh in the schoolyard]
Darwin: Josh, you need to give Anais another chance. It's her last wish. You see, she's suffering from—
Gumball: [Interrupting sequence] No, that's equally wretched. [Gasps] I got it!
[In yet another sequence, Josh picks up a public phone]
Gumball: [In a deep, menacing voice] We kidnapped your pet snake and won't give it back until you agree to be Anais' friend.
Josh: But I don't have a pet snake.
Gumball: Oh. In that case we broke into your house and removed a snake.
Josh: Okay...? Thanks?
Gumball: You're welcome.
[The sequence stops]
Darwin: Maybe we're just gonna have to apologize.
Gumball: Wait. Just one more!
[Another sequence starts. This time, Gumball swings a pendulum in front of Josh's eyes]
Gumball: And when I snap my fingers, you will be friends with Anais.
Darwin: There's no way that's gonna work.
Gumball: Oh. Bite me.
[Gumball snaps his fingers, and Josh instantly wakes up only to attack him. This ends the fantasy sequence]
Gumball: Okay. There's only one solution. We grovel.
Darwin: Okay, let's nip this in the butt while there's still time!
[Gumball starts walking away, but walks back to Darwin]
Gumball: just say "nip it in the butt?"
Darwin: Yeah!
Gumball: It's "nip in the bud," dude.
Darwin: No, it's "nip it in the butt." Like a crab!
Gumball: What? No, it's— [Sighs] You know what? Whatever.
[As Josh closes his locker, Gumball and Darwin stare at him with begging looks. All of sudden, they throw themselves at his feet, crying]
Gumball: Please, forgive Anais!
Josh: Please, guys, guys! You don't have to do that.
Gumball: We don't?
Josh: No! If you're willing to go this far for your sister, she must really be worth it.

Another Chance

[In the schoolyard, Anais is still playing ping pong, only this time the ball comes back to her]

Josh: Everyone deserves a second chance. Well, everyone deserves a twelfth chance.
Anais: So...we're friends?
Josh: Sure. We're friends.
[Josh pulls out a measuring tape and starts taking Anais' measurements. Gumball and Darwin walk up to him]
Gumball: 'Scuse me, what are you doing?
Josh: Measuring her up for her pod! They do take some time to build. [Writes down in a notebook]
Gumball: Pod?
Josh: Yeah, now she's my friend, she'll be cryogenically frozen with me until the year 4983, when our great and powerful leader Kratok will be finally hatched from his egg and rule us all. That's why we give him all our money—to help finish the construction of his graphene palace on System 26.
Anais: What?
Josh: Look, here's a picture of him. [Shows a picture of a frog]
Darwin: That's...a frog?
Josh: Oh, silly me! That's his assistant, Maurice. This is Kratok. [Shows another picture of a frog]
Gumball: As soon as it's not too early to tell you I told you so, do let me know.
[Episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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