The Cycle/Transcript

Public Shaming

[The episode opens with Richard, Gumball, Darwin, and Anais, in their car. Richard has just pulled into a parking spot outside of Elmore Mall, when they are rear-ended by Harold Wilson]

Harold​​: [Exits his vehicle] All right, Richard. I'm gonna need you to move her every hour to keep her in the shade, okay? [Throws his keys in Richard's face]

Richard: [Chuckles nervously] Sure thing, Harry. Uh, Harold?

Harold​​: [Glares at him] Hm?

Richard: [Flinches; timid] Mr. Wilson.

Harold​​: Oh, by the way, you must've heard about my birthday party, I guess.

Richard: Oh, sure. Uh, where is it?

Harold​​: Yeah, I've uh, booked a table at that new Mexican restaurant. It starts at seven, got it?

Richard: Yeah!

Harold​​: Great! Then make sure you don't turn up by mistake. [Snickers]

Richard: [Feebly] Sure.

[The three kids look at each other, puzzled. Inside the mall, the family meets up with Harold again while in the clothing department]

Harold​​: You buying new pants for your wife?

Richard: What?

Harold​​: Well, she's the one wearing them in your relationship, right? [Snickers]

[Richard laughs along, as his kids watch in disapproval. Harold then takes the pants that Richard is carrying, and drops them on the floor]

Harold​​: [Shakes his head] Mm-mm-mnh. [Hands him a feminine pair instead] Try these on. I think they're more you.

[Next, the family goes grocery shopping, with Richard now wearing the tight yellow pants]

Gumball: Dad, is it me, or is this guy kinda being a total thunder jerk to you?

Richard: Oh. [Embarrassed; chuckles] H-He's not that bad.

Gumball: Then why did he steal your pants?

Harold​​: [Over the store's intercom] Do do do. Can Richard Watterson please come to collect his dignity from the front desk? [Snickers]

[They return outside to their vehicle, which was left in the hot sun]

Gumball: I'm sorry. That's not just friendly teasing. [Burns his hand on the trunk latch] Ow! He's being really mean to you.

Richard: [In denial] No, he's not.

[Harold appears behind Richard and gives him a wedgie, pulling the underwear over his shoulders. Richard whimpers in pain as Harold enters his car, snickering, and drives away. Aggrieved, Gumball gestures at the event that just took place]

Richard: What? I just didn't want to have a visible panty line.

Gumball: N-Not that! You need to tell Mom about this.

Richard: [Ashamed] I can't. Your mom sees me as an average looking underachieving slob. It would break her heart to think it was all too good to be true.

Anais: Dad, you need to deal with this like an adult.

Richard: I am dealing with it like an adult. I'm pretending nothing's wrong until I get a chance to cry about it when I'm alone.

Darwin: She means you need to put an end to the situation, and deal with it in a mature way.

Richard: How?

Gumball: Well... you're old enough to purchase a chainsaw.

Anais: What?! What exactly do you think being mature means?

Gumball: I dunno, "R" rated?

Anais: [Sighs]

Gumball: Well, what do you suggest?

Anais: Legal advice.

Buying Justice

[They head to a law firm, and meet with the book doctor in the lawyer's office]

Book Doctor: Well, Mr. Watterson, I've reviewed the evidence thoroughly, and I'm pleased to say that we ca— [Stops mid-sentence]

Richard: Hm?

[She glances at the money box on her desk. Gumball, Darwin, and Anais, sigh as their father pulls a bill from his wallet and drops it in the slot]

Book Doctor: Can place a restraining order on Harold Wilson, effective immediately. All you need to do is—

[Richard inserts another bill]

Book Doctor: ...follow the legal precedent in the case of—

Richard: Can you just talk faster please? [Continues to add money]

Book Doctor: [Speaking quickly] ...the case of "The state versus Antonio Chavez," article thirteen, section one, amendment nineteen, subsection four, paragraph eleven, verse two, stanza six, sentence nine, pertaining to the victims—

Richard: [Hushed] I'm out. You guys got any money?

[Anais sighs, then sticks some colorful currency into the box]

Book Doctor: [Singing in a high-pitched tone] ...ongoing trauma due to workplace stress, which had left her life in an awful mess. She built up evidence, and from that moment hence, she was given legal—

Richard: What was that about?

Anais: Sorry. That was Daisyland money.

Richard: [Groans] Right, I don't think we can afford your services.

Book Doctor: I completely understand. [Approaches the door, opening it a crack] Please, let me show you ou—

Gumball: Aw come on! [Pushes her aside] Doesn't anything happen for free in here?

[The four leave the office, but Darwin decides to swipe some candy from a dish on the desk first. Later, all of them are glumly sitting on a park bench. Darwin places one of the candies in Richard's hand. He smiles and removes the wrapper. At that very moment, Harold cruises by on a one wheeled hoverboard, snatching the candy and eating it]

Richard: Huh?

Harold​​​: That was as easy as taking candy from a b... uh, ba... What was the expression again? Oh yes, a brainless man-child. [Snickers; rides off]

Gumball: You know, I think there's a lesson in all this.

Darwin: [Angry] People riding those things are all butt-hats?

Gumball: Okay, I guess there are two lessons in all this. And the second one is, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Anais: But Dad doesn't have it in him to be bad.

Richard: What are you talking about? I'm all about the thug life.

Anais: You carry "get well soon" balloons in your trunk so you can tie them to roadkill.

Richard: [Hops from the bench] You guys want to see how real I can get? [Turns to face his kids] Well break out the aloe vera, 'cause you about to get burned! Hey Gumball, you blue faced potato on a stick! How glad are you to not have inherited your father's metabolism and be allowed to eat whatever you want without feeling a thick sack of shame? Bam! You just got "P"-double-youn'd! How about you, Darwin, you mutant weirdo? How does it feel to have evolved beyond anything your species could ever have dreamed of, you disgustingly adorable pride and joy of my life? Whoop-yeah! Bring me the tartar sauce, that fish just got cooked!

Anais: I think you're missing the point.

Richard: [Mimicking Anais] "I think you're missing the point, Dad. I think you shouldn't lick that electrical outlet, Dad. I think you should remember your appointment at the cardiologist, Dad." How does it feel to be better than everybody else, Anais? I mean this because I genuinely think you are! Boom!

[Richard starts to laugh, but it quickly changes to weeping]

Richard: I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings with my mean-spirited jokes. [Gathers all three in a group hug] Please forgive me!

Anais: I think he needs professional help.

Prom-atic Experience

[At the Elmore Hospital, Richard is in a room, lying on a chaise lounge]

Richard: Well Doctor, I think this cycle of shame started the day I was elected prom king.

["Prom king" echoes as the flashback begins. In it, a younger Richard finds a sealed envelope on his school locker]

Richard: Hmm. [Opens the letter; reads] "Dear Richard, you have been elected prom king. Make sure to attend the ceremony tomorrow night. Please keep this a secret from your fellow students." This must be a joke. No, wait. It's signed by Principal Brown!

[Richard faints and falls backward. Upon sitting up, he sees the note and promptly faints again. He repeats this reaction several more times]

Richard: [In the present] I spent the whole of the next day trying to look my best. [In the past] Gravity will help me fit inside the pants. [Dismayed] But my face is still too fat.

Granny Jojo: You should try contouring.

Richard: What's that?

Granny Jojo: It's kind of like lying, but with your face.

Richard: What about my suit?

Granny Jojo: Don't worry sweetie, we'll figure something out.

Richard: And a cape?

Granny Jojo: Eh... and a cape.

Richard: [Present] It was the happiest moment of my life. I never felt so beautiful. I could feel everyone looking at me in admiration.

[In the memory, Richard enters the prom room, his makeup giving him a more human-like visage. The other students step aside, confused by his appearance, while Principal Brown and Jackie watch from atop the stage]

Nigel Brown: It's now the moment you've all been waiting for. Time to announce this year's prom king!

Richard: [Shouting] Yes, I'm here!

[The crowd gasps in unison]

Richard: Thank you! Yes, it's me! Yes! Ha-ha! [Climbs on stage; Puts the crown on] Thank you! Thank you! This moment is much bigger than me.

Harold​​: [Off-screen] Uh, hardly.

Richard: I just want to say to all the losers out there, there's gonna be people along the way who will try to take things away from you, but don't let them, because—

[Principal Brown interrupts him by removing the crown from his head]

Nigel Brown: Watterson, we're gonna have to take the crown away from you.

Richard: But I'm the king! [Pulls the note out] It says so right here in this letter. It's got your signature!

Nigel Brown: Did you take a good look at this letter? It is literally signed, "Pwincipul Bron."

Richard: [Humiliated] But... who would do this?

[Led by Harold, the room bursts into laughter. Richard awkwardly joins in, and the flashback ends]

Richard: From that moment on, he kept on making fun of me at every opportunity. It caused me quite a few stress problems.

Therapist: Tell me more.

Richard: Well, for a long time I thought every food came with Parmesan, until I realized it was dandruff. Also, I get such bad acid reflux that my tongue's hanging on by a thread. And I've been losing my hair, so I'm forced to dab the patches with pink paint. Oh, and gas. I'm so gassy—

Gumball: [Irate] Okay, how long is it going to take you to realize?

Richard: [Sits up; looks at his kids] Realize what?

Anais: That Harold Wilson is the therapist.

Richard: [Turns to Harold] What?! That's Harold?!

[Harold rips off a fake moustache, which is identical to his real one]

Harold​​: Yes! It was me all along, sucker! [Snickers]

[One after the other, Richard loses a patch of hair, belches, and flatulates. After going back to the car, he sobs into the dashboard]

Gumball: Told you we should have gone with the "R" rated option.

Anais: Yeah, we should try something else.

Gumball: So we just run him over, then!

Anais: No! I meant we were wrong to try dealing with this like adults. That guy is so mean. We need to help Dad put a stop to this.

Gumball: [Ponders] Okay. So what's even better than being prom king?

Darwin: Having enough self-respect to not believe in vacuous popularity contests?

Gumball: Hm, another good point. But I mean, what does every adult dream of? Dad?

Richard: Mm, can't say that. Can't say that. Two of those at the same time. Can't say that, either... Money?

Gumball: Perfect!

Money Trouble

[Richard, Gumball, Darwin, and Anais, are standing on the sidewalk next to a garbage can. Using its lid as a flat surface, Richard writes eight zeroes onto a check, then laughs fiendishly]

Anais: Dad, that's still zero dollars.

Richard: Oh, of course. [Adds a one behind the zeroes]

Anais: [Groans] You need to put something in front of it.

[Confused, Richard lays the check on the cement and moves the trash bin toward it. He slowly inches the bin forward while seeking her approval]

Anais: [Irritated] I meant put a one in front of the zeroes!

Richard: [Fixing the check] It's not my fault if Gumball's plan is too complicated.

Gumball: What's so complicated?! Harold finds a signed blank check for a billion dollars, thinks he's rich, we jump out and tell him it was fake. We laugh, he cries. We laugh some more. The end.

Anais: [Points] Ah! Here he comes! Hide!

[All four vault over the fence behind them. Harold passes by and notices the check]

Harold​​: [Gasps] A check for a billion dollars! And all I have to do is add my name? Ker-ching!

[Leonard Daniels comes along, and Harold lifts him by the head]

Harold​​: Hey, you! You're my butler now. [Hands him a stack of bills] Take this cash and throw it on the floor wherever I walk.

Leonard Daniels: Oh, yes, I don't mind.

[Behind the fence, the Wattersons are shown to have injured themselves falling into the flood control channel. Elsewhere, Harold is still walking on money]

Harold​​: Wait, this doesn't feel decadent enough.

[Leonard throws gold coins in his path instead]

Harold​​: Mm, still not enough.

[A red carpet is rolled out, and the coins are replaced by diamonds]

Harold​​: [Pained] That's more like it.

[Meanwhile, Richard and his children struggle to climb back over the fence]

Richard, Gumball, Darwin, and Anais: Wait! He's gone!

Gumball: Well good. He's gonna spend all kinds of money he doesn't have and ruin his life.

Richard: We have to stop him!

Gumball: What?! Why?!

Richard: [Sighs] Because unfortunately, it's the mature thing to do.

[Harold is at the hospital, paying his boss a visit]

Harold​​: [Opens the office door] Oh. Uh, e-excuse me, sir. I-I hope I'm not interrupting. I don't want to burn any bridges with such a good employer. [Flips the desk upside down] I obviously hope that we can remain on friendly terms— [Cuts through his tie with scissors; messes with his hair] but I'm afraid I found a better position as a billionaire player, so I hand you my resignation. [Slaps him in the face] There you go. And here's a token of my gratitude for all these years of service. [Kisses him; backs out of the room] Oh, one last thing. [Flings his underwear at him]

[At a car dealership, he hops from a moving vehicle, leaving it to crash into another]

Harold​​: [To Larry] Does it come gold-plated? Just put it on my credit card, I gotta go. [Climbs a ladder lowered from a golden helicopter]

Larry: Aren't you worried about maxing it out?

Harold​​: I'll cash the check in later!

[Jackie is at home doing some dusting, when Harold returns with Jazelle]

Harold​​: Jackie, meet Jazelle. Jazelle, this is my first wife Jackie. Jackie, I'm afraid I will no longer be requiring your services as a life partner. You should leave now, I'm destroying this house to replace it with a seventy-foot-tall statue of myself.

[Harold and Jazelle are standing across the street, as Leonard Daniels runs from the house with a gilded plunger detonator]

Leonard Daniels: The dynamite is in place, sir.

[Harold raises the plunger, but is interrupted by the Wattersons]

Gumball: Stop! Mr. Wilson, you need to—

Richard: Wait, son. I think it is time for your father to speak for himself. Harold, you and I have never been friends, but there's something you need to know.

Harold​​: Oh, wait. [Points upward] First, you have to see that.

[Up above, there is sky writing depicting an image of Richard alongside the caption, "I can count to burrito!"]

Harold​​: Sorry we couldn't fit all of you in there. There wasn't enough space on the canvas. [Snickers]

Richard: [Chuckles nervously; Inhales deeply] Harold, I need to talk to you in private. [Murmurs indistinctly]

Harold​​: What? Oh, I-I see. Uh, sorry, Richard. I... I apologize for thinking you were a buffoon all these years. You've really... Well, you've taught me something very important today, and I'll make sure not to make the same mistake again. Thank you. [Shakes Richard's hand]

Richard: Goodbye, Harold. [Heads home with his children] See, kids? That's how adults deal with their problems.

Gumball: I'm impressed, Dad.

Anais: But what did you say to him?

Richard: I told him if he stacks his dynamite closer together, he'll get a more intensive blast.

[There is a large explosion on the horizon; the episode ends]

v • e Transcript

Episode 1 The DVD	Episode 2 The Responsible	Episode 3 The Third	Episode 4 The Debt
Episode 5 The End	Episode 6 The Dress	Episode 7 The Quest	Episode 8 The Spoon
Episode 9 The Pressure	Episode 10 The Painting	Episode 11 The Laziest	Episode 12 The Ghost
Episode 13 The Mystery	Episode 14 The Prank	Episode 15 The Gi	Episode 16 The Kiss
Episode 17 The Party	Episode 18 The Refund	Episode 19 The Robot	Episode 20 The Picnic
Episode 21 The Goons	Episode 22 The Secret	Episode 23 The Sock	Episode 24 The Genius
Episode 25 The Poltergeist	Episode 26 The Mustache	Episode 27 The Date	Episode 28 The Club
Episode 29 The Wand	Episode 30 The Ape	Episode 31 The Car	Episode 32 The Curse
Episode 33 The Microwave	Episode 34 The Meddler	Episode 35 The Helmet	Episode 36 The Fight

Episode 1 The Remote	Episode 2 The Colossus	Episode 3 The Knights	Episode 4 The Fridge
Episode 5 The Flower	Episode 6 The Banana	Episode 7 The Phone	Episode 8 The Job
Episode 9 Halloween	Episode 10 The Treasure	Episode 11 The Apology	Episode 12 The Words
Episode 13 The Skull	Episode 14 The Bet	Episode 15 Christmas	Episode 16 The Watch
Episode 17 The Bumpkin	Episode 18 The Flakers	Episode 19 The Authority	Episode 20 The Virus
Episode 21 The Pony	Episode 22 The Hero	Episode 23 The Dream	Episode 24 The Sidekick
Episode 25 The Photo	Episode 26 The Tag	Episode 27 The Storm	Episode 28 The Lesson
Episode 29 The Game	Episode 30 The Limit	Episode 31 The Voice	Episode 32 The Promise
Episode 33 The Castle	Episode 34 The Boombox	Episode 35 The Tape	Episode 36 The Sweaters
Episode 37 The Internet	Episode 38 The Plan	Episode 39 The World	Episode 40 The Finale

Episode 1 The Kids	Episode 2 The Fan	Episode 3 The Coach	Episode 4 The Joy
Episode 5 The Puppy	Episode 6 The Recipe	Episode 7 The Name	Episode 8 The Extras
Episode 9 The Gripes	Episode 10 The Vacation	Episode 11 The Fraud	Episode 12 The Void
Episode 13 The Boss	Episode 14 The Move	Episode 15 The Law	Episode 16 The Allergy
Episode 17 The Mothers	Episode 18 The Password	Episode 19 The Procrastinators	Episode 20 The Shell
Episode 21 The Burden	Episode 22 The Bros	Episode 23 The Mirror	Episode 24 The Man
Episode 25 The Pizza	Episode 26 The Lie	Episode 27 The Butterfly	Episode 28 The Question
Episode 29 The Saint	Episode 30 The Friend	Episode 31 The Oracle	Episode 32 The Safety
Episode 33 The Society	Episode 34 The Spoiler	Episode 35 The Countdown	Episode 36 The Nobody
Episode 37 The Downer	Episode 38 The Egg	Episode 39 The Triangle	Episode 40 The Money

Episode 1 The Return	Episode 2 The Nemesis	Episode 3 The Crew	Episode 4 The Others
Episode 5 The Signature	Episode 6 The Check	Episode 7 The Pest	Episode 8 The Sale
Episode 9 The Gift	Episode 10 The Parking	Episode 11 The Routine	Episode 12 The Upgrade
Episode 13 The Comic	Episode 14 The Romantic	Episode 15 The Uploads	Episode 16 The Apprentice
Episode 17 The Hug	Episode 18 The Wicked	Episode 19 The Traitor	Episode 20 The Origins
Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two	Episode 22 The Girlfriend	Episode 23 The Advice	Episode 24 The Signal
Episode 25 The Parasite	Episode 26 The Love	Episode 27 The Awkwardness	Episode 28 The Nest
Episode 29 The Points	Episode 30 The Bus	Episode 31 The Night	Episode 32 The Misunderstandings
Episode 33 The Roots	Episode 34 The Blame	Episode 35 The Slap	Episode 36 The Detective
Episode 37 The Fury	Episode 38 The Compilation	Episode 39 The Scam	Episode 40 The Disaster

Episode 1 The Rerun	Episode 2 The Stories	Episode 3 The Guy	Episode 4 The Boredom
Episode 5 The Vision	Episode 6 The Choices	Episode 7 The Code	Episode 8 The Test
Episode 9 The Slide	Episode 10 The Loophole	Episode 11 The Fuss	Episode 12 The Copycats
Episode 13 The Potato	Episode 14 The Outside	Episode 15 The Vase	Episode 16 The Matchmaker
Episode 17 The Box	Episode 18 The Console	Episode 19 The Ollie	Episode 20 The Catfish
Episode 21 The Cycle	Episode 22 The Stars	Episode 23 The Grades	Episode 24 The Diet
Episode 25 The Ex	Episode 26 The Sorcerer	Episode 27 The Menu	Episode 28 The Uncle
Episode 29 The Weirdo	Episode 30 The Heist	Episode 31 The Singing	Episode 32 The Best
Episode 33 The Worst	Episode 34 The Deal	Episode 35 The Petals	Episode 36 The Nuisance
Episode 37 The Line	Episode 38 The List	Episode 39 The News	Episode 40 The Puppets

Episode 1 The Rival	Episode 2 The Lady	Episode 3 The Sucker	Episode 4 The Vegging
Episode 5 The One	Episode 6 The Father	Episode 7 The Cringe	Episode 8 The Cage
Episode 9 The Neighbor	Episode 10 The Anybody	Episode 11 The Faith	Episode 12 The Candidate
Episode 13 The Pact	Episode 14 The Shippening	Episode 15 The Brain	Episode 16 The Parents
Episode 17 The Founder	Episode 18 The Schooling	Episode 19 The Intelligence	Episode 20 The Potion
Episode 21 The Spinoffs	Episode 22 The Transformation	Episode 23 The Understanding	Episode 24 The Ad
Episode 25 The Ghouls	Episode 26 The Stink	Episode 27 The Awareness	Episode 28 The Slip
Episode 29 The Drama	Episode 30 The Buddy	Episode 31 The Possession	Episode 32 The Master
Episode 33 The Silence	Episode 34 The Future	Episode 35 The Wish	Episode 36 The Factory
Episode 37 The Agent	Episode 38 The Web	Episode 39 The Mess	Episode 40 The Heart
Episode 41 The Revolt	Episode 42 The Decisions	Episode 43 The BFFS	Episode 44 The Inquisition