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Gumball's Old BFF

[Right outside the Wattersons' house, the doorbell rings, and Darwin answers it]
Darwin: Uh, Gumball?
Gumball: What?
Darwin: Someone put a pair of eyes on some cotton candy and dumped it on our doorstep.
Fuzzy: My name is Fuzzy.
Darwin: Oh, no, wait. It's one of those nineties talking toys that are creepier than bald men with long hair.
Fuzzy: Dude, I'm alive. This is just how I look.
Darwin: [Gasps] I'm so sorry.
Fuzzy: It's fine.
Darwin: ...for you!
Fuzzy: Does Gumball Watterson still live here?
Darwin: Oh, yes. Gumball!
[Gumball walks over, sees Fuzzy and gasps]
Fuzzy: Hey, partner!
Gumball: Aw, Fuzzy! [Laughs] You haven't changed at all!
Darwin: Oh, so it's congenital.
Gumball: Darwin, this is Fuzzy, my BFF!
Darwin: Oh... [Chuckles nervously] Pleased to meet you.
[The scene cuts to the kitchen]
Darwin: [Grumbles] Did you really have to invite him for lunch?
Gumball: Why are you so angry I had a best friend before you?
Darwin: Heh, no one's angry. Who's angry?
[Gumball points at Fuzzy, whom Darwin is about to put in the oven]
Darwin: Oh. Sorry, dude.
Gumball: Why don't you have a seat, Fuzzy? We'll bring out some food that isn't you.
Fuzzy: Uh, thanks, man. [Exits]
Darwin: So, how long were you guys a thing?
Gumball: Uh, a few years before you arrived and before he—
Darwin: Hmm, hmm, hmm...
Gumball: Uh, what are you doing?
Darwin: Oh, I was just trying to work out if I give a darn!
[Gumball sighs]
Darwin: So, was it serious?
Gumball: Yeah, you know, things were moving along. We moved into a hideout together... [He notices Darwin is checking his pockets for something] Uh, what are you doing now?
Darwin: Oh, just looking for a darn to give. Were there others?
Gumball: No, of course not! You're—
Darwin: Take this. I'm afraid that's all the darns I have to give.
[Gumball groans and walks away]
Gumball: Hey dude, why don't we hang out and grab something to eat in town? The food here is a little too salty!
[Gumball slams the door]
Darwin: Oh, yeah?! Well, you know what?! Uh, you— you— you know what? Uh, uh, you— you, uh...
Gumball and Fuzzy: [Shrug] Mm-mnh. [Walk away]
Darwin: You, uh, ah...

Catching Up

[The scene cuts to Gumball and Fuzzy on swings]
Gumball: So, what you've been up to? How's Minnesota? Made any friends?
Fuzzy: It's hard to tell. Everyone is wearing ski masks all year long. Either I have friends or I'm on a CIA watch list.
[Gumball chuckles]
Fuzzy: Yeah, summer's so short there they just call it "s."
[Gumball laughs]
Fuzzy: It's so cold up there, rappers can only sag their pants under their nipple level.
Gumball: [Laughs] Alright, alright, I get it. It's great! Stop trying to make me jealous.
Fuzzy: Yeah, well, it would've been better if you were around.
Gumball: It's that lonely up here, huh?
Fuzzy: No, I do have one friend, Hank. He's pretty frozen.
Gumball: What?
Fuzzy: That's how you say cool in Minnesota. You have to adjust the temperature. Although, if he knew I was hanging out with you now, I'd probably be in room-temperature water.
Gumball: Huh? [Gasps] Oh.
Fuzzy: He's a nice guy, but, you know, it's not the same.
Gumball: Look, I'm sorry, Fuzz. I really wanted to keep in touch and send you a letter or something, but turns out it takes toddlers four years to learn how to write. After all that time, it felt a bit like posting a get-well-soon card through the window of a hearse.
Fuzzy: [Chuckles] Well, I'm back now, and I'm glad we get to catch up on lost time.
Gumball: Me too, buddy. Me too.

Making a Deal with Darwin

[As Gumball walks back home, Darwin is still heard thinking of a comeback]
Darwin: Well, you— you know what?! Uh, well, you know what? You're like a...
Gumball: What the?
[Gumball opens the door]
Darwin: Uh, well, you know what?! Uh...
Gumball: Dude, are you seriously still looking for a comeback?
Darwin: Hmph!
Gumball: [Laughs] Darwin, just because Fuzzy's back in my life doesn't mean I love you any less.
Darwin: Really? How much do you love me?
Gumball: Dude, I love you more than elderly people love walking around in their birthday suits in sports locker rooms.
Darwin: [Snickers] More than Canadians love telling you which famous people are Canadian?
Gumball: More than PC gamers love to bash game consoles.
Darwin: [Giggles] That's quite a lot.
Gumball: Come here.
Gumball and Darwin: [Hugging] Mm.
Darwin: I'm sorry if it looks like I'm overreacting, but I just don't trust that guy. He looks like a hairy thunb with bulbous, soulless, motion-capture eyes.
Gumball: Would you please just give him a chance? For me?
Darwin: Ugh.
Gumball: How about we hang out together and play some games? You'll see. He's a great guy.
Darwin: Fine. [Gasps] Sorry my seasoning isn't the taste of your treasoning!
Gumball: What?
Darwin: You know, the salt comeback from before, and— oh, never mind.
[During daytime, Gumball, Darwin, and Fuzzy are playing a video game]
Gumball: Man, I am really struggling with this third-party controller. I think it's broken.
Fuzzy: Dude, that's not a controller.
Darwin: Yeah, it's the remote from Mister Dad's new massage chair.
Richard: [In the massage chair] Huh?! Uh, ugh! Ugh, ugh!
[Gumball, Darwin, and Fuzzy laugh]
Gumball: All right, you guys. Finish this one, and I'll take the winner. I'll just go get some drinks. [Exits]
Darwin: [Deep voice] Okay, what's your game, you furry creep muffin?
Fuzzy: Ugh. Look, just give me a chance.
Darwin: [Normal voice] A "chance" to abduct your best friend and lock him up in a cabin in the woods?
Fuzzy: What the? No! Look, can we just bury the hatchet?
Darwin: "Bury?" "Hatchet?"
Fuzzy: Okay, I don't know what you're trying to rope me into, but—
Darwin: "Rope?"
Fuzzy: Dude, you have a pretty weird relationship with your BFF.
Darwin: "BFF-F-F-F-F-F-F-F."
Fuzzy: All right, I'm out of here.
Gumball: [Entering] What? W-why? What's going on?
Fuzzy: Look, I was gonna invite you guys to a sleepover, but I think it's best if I don't. I don't want to make any waves between you and Darwin. I just think you guys need a little chat... in front of a shrink... while wearing straitjackets... behind two-way glass... under the supervision of armed guards... because you're crazy. I just wanted to make that clear. Okay, bye. [Exits through the front door]
Darwin: Buh-bye.
Gumball: Wait, what? No. F-Fuzzy! Fuz— ugh. [Growls]
[Gumball enters their bedroom as Darwin is shown using the computer]
Gumball: What did you do?!
Darwin: [Scoffs] Nothing.
Gumball: You obviously did something. Did you see his face? He had the expression of someone who had just sat down on a warm toilet seat. What did he ever do to you?
Darwin: [Welling up tears] Well, when you went away to get drinks, he— he stood up, grabbed a fire poker, and... and... he... Yeah, okay, I completely made that up and probably shouldn't have.
Gumball: Agh! Why are you acting like this?
Darwin: I just think it's interesting that this guy's back in Elmore.
Gumball: No, you don't. You think it's suspicious. Just say "suspicious!"
Darwin: No, I just think it's intriguing—
Gumball: No, you don't. You think it's sinister. Just say "sinister."
Darwin: I'm just fascinate—
Gumball: You're jealous! Just say "jealous!"
[Darwin sputters, aloof of Gumball]
Gumball: Hmph. [Packs up]
Darwin: Wait. Where are you going?
Gumball: To the brony convention in Liechtenstein. Where do you think I'm going?! I'm going to Fuzzy's house. So have fun being more jelly than a peanut-butter sandwich!
Darwin: [Laughs] I'm not jealous. Look. [Holds up finger]
Gumball: What's that?
Darwin: The needle on my give-a-darn-ometer— not moving.
Gumball: Ugh. Look, you can still come if you want.
Darwin: What was that? Sorry. I just wanted to make sure I didn't look like I gave a darn.
Gumball: I said you can—
Darwin: Hello? Is this the give-a-darn store? Uh, yeah, I'd like to know if you had any more darns left in stock. Yeah, it's for a friend. Oh, you discontinued the line? I see. Oh, you might have some left in the warehouse? Sure. I'll hold. Just a sec. Ah, right. Mm.

Going to Fuzzy's House

[Gumball and Fuzzy walk through the streets outside]
Gumball: And then he was talking about how the darn mines had closed and that I should've invested in renewable darns and — whatever. Anyways, is your place very far? 'Cause we've been walking for an hour now.
Fuzzy: Oh, yeah, it's right around the corner...
Gumball: Good.
Fuzzy: ...after the lake.
Gumball: Right. Um, wait, Elmore's got a lake?
Fuzzy: No.
Gumball: Hmph.
[Gumball and Fuzzy are shown walking through the desert near an overpass]
Gumball: [Panting] Dude, can we at least make a pit stop? I need a new pair of feet!
Fuzzy: Oh, but we're nearly there.
Gumball: Ugh. Where?
Fuzzy: Just beyond that pass.
Gumball: The overpass?!
Fuzzy: No, that mountain pass.
[Gumball groans. They then are shown walking on a snowy mountain]
Fuzzy: Okay, maybe we need a little break.
Gumball: Oh, thank you, universe!
Fuzzy: [Sits on a log] Ah, much better. [Resumes walking]
[Gumball ends up not sitting and lets out a frozen tear. They then walk over a grassy flatland, as Gumball's eyelids are letting out a farting sound]
Fuzzy: What's that sound?
Gumball: I'm crying, but I'm so dehydrated, only air is coming out.
[In a mysterious forest in the night, Gumball and Fuzzy are still walking. Gumball collapses]
Gumball: [Rasping] I'm not gonna make it, Fuzzy. You're gonna have to continue without me.
Fuzzy: Gumball, I'm not leaving you behind.
Gumball: I never said leave me behind. I meant you're gonna do the rest off the walking, get some form of wheel-based transportation, and come back to get me. [Coughs] Also, I want a burrito.
Fuzzy: But it's just right there, right before Ontario.
Gumball: [Normal voice] Wait, are you telling me we're in Minnesota right now?
Fuzzy: Come on. We're right there.
Gumball: No! Forget this! Forget you! Forget Minnesota! Forget everything!
Fuzzy: Okay, I'll just wait for you inside, then. [Enters his house which reveals to be right in front of them]
Gumball: [Calm] Oh, all right, then.
[Gumball enters the house]
Gumball: Huh. Weird. Looks exactly like your old bedroom.
Fuzzy: [Deep voice] Welcome back, Gumball.
Gumball: What the what is going on here?
Fuzzy: You abandoned me, Gumball. You promised we would stay BFFs forever, but you replaced me. [Throws pajamas] Put this on.
Gumball: What? But it's for toddlers, it's too small.
Fuzzy: Put it on! Now you're gonna make up for it, starting right where we left off, and life is gonna be one long sleepover. [Plays nursery music] Now, let's play- [Gets hit by Darwin] Aah!
Gumball: Darwin! What are you doing here?
Darwin: I knew there was something creepy going on with this guy, so I followed you.
Gumball: 'Kay. Why'd you dig a hole, though?
Darwin: Oh, um, to bury the hatchet?
Gumball: Oh my gosh. You were so jealous you were gonna whack this guy!
Darwin: Yeah, right. I'm jealous. I'm jealous of Fuzzy. I'm jealous of his relationship with you. I'm jealous that Fuzzy will go back to being your BFF, and you'll abandon me.
Gumball: A-are you still being sarcastic, or—
Darwin: Ha! Yeah, sure. I'm being sarcastic.
Gumball: So you're being sarcastic about being sarcastic.
Darwin: Yeah, I'm just jealous, basically.
Gumball: Aww, well, you shouldn't be. I love you, dude.
Darwin: I love you more.
Gumball: No, I love you more.
Fuzzy: [Deep voice] No, you love me more!
[Gumball and Darwin scream]

Outrunning Fuzzy

[Fuzzy chases Gumball and Darwin through the woods. The brothers get behind a branch]
Gumball: There! Get behind me.
[Gumball and Darwin try to launch the branch toward Fuzzy but it ends up snapping, propelling the boys backwards]
Gumball and Darwin: [Scream] Ugh! Oh.
Gumball: He's coming!
[Gumball and Darwin run up to a cliff and scream as they look down. They look behind them, and Fuzzy comes closer]
Darwin: We got no choice!
[They jump off the cliff, at the same time making loser signs to Fuzzy. Once they fall in the river, Fuzzy checks on their absence, and Gumball and Darwin try to hit him off with a log, screaming. They hit two rocks and get pinned underneath]
Fuzzy: I'm sorry, Darwin, but there can only be one BFF. [Picks up rock, and is about to drop it on Darwin ]
Hank: [offscreen] Yeah, me.
Fuzzy: Wha— oh! [Gets knocked out by the rock]
Gumball: Who— who are you?
Hank: Hank. I was Fuzzy's BFF, and now, I'm taking him back.
Gumball: Sure. That's cool.
[Hank carries Fuzzy away]
Fuzzy: [Whispering] Help, help!
[Fuzzy is carried offscreen. The brothers push the log off of them]
Darwin: So... should we go help Fuzzy, or...
Gumball: Or not?
Darwin: Yeah, I mean, it's late.
Gumball: We are far from home.
Darwin: I'm hungry.
Gumball: Well, I saw a really good taco truck on the way.
Darwin: Where?
Gumball: Eh, somewhere near Wyoming.
[The episode ends]
veTAWOGEPISODESfont Transcript
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