The Rear End
- Lucy Simian: Now, pay attention! [Turns around] This diagram reveals everything you need to know—
- Class: Augh!
- Lucy Simian: [Faces the class] What?
- Class: [Collective muttering]
- Darwin: [Mumbling] Oh, nothing, nothing, carry on...
- Lucy Simian: [Turns around again] Hm. Now we shall continue. This area is—
- Class: Augh!
- Lucy Simian: [Faces the class again] What?!
- [Miss Simian turns back to the board. As she does, Penny uses a book to shield her view]
- Lucy Simian: This area is mostly composed of hot gases. Never look at it directly with your naked eye, or you will burn your retinas.
- [Tobias turns around with burning eyes]
- Lucy Simian: This could lead to rash acts...
- [Banana Joe throws his eyes off of his face]
- Lucy Simian: Nausea...
- [Masami vomits rainbows, William falls down]
- Lucy Simian: Weight loss...
- [Leslie's petals fall out]
- Lucy Simian: Malfunction, confusion...
- [Bobert shorts out, Sarah's head melts, and Sussie regurgitates a brown liquid]
- Lucy Simian: Or explosion.
- [Idaho blows up]
- Gumball: [Shouting angrily] Oh, I can't take this anymore!
- Darwin: [Hysterical] Every second I look at it, means another year of therapy!
- Gumball: [Covering his eyes] Augh, I— I gotta tell her, man!
- Darwin: You can't talk to a teacher about her tushy! It's too touchy!
- Gumball: Aw, c'mon. You can't leave her like that. It— It's cruel.
- Darwin Okay, but we got to be subtle. [Writes something down on paper, and hands it to Gumball. Gumball then folds it into a paper plane]
- Gumball: Psst! Miss Simian! [Throws airplane]
- Lucy Simian: Huh? [Plane lands in her eye]
At the Principal's Office
- Lucy Simian: [Screaming at Gumball and Darwin] You are nothing but a pair of disruptive, disrespectful delinquents from a dysfunctional dynasty of degenerates and dimwits!!
- Nigel Brown: [Places his fist on the desk] What have you got to say in your defense?
- Gumball: Uh, it was an accident, sir! We were trying to tell her something!
- Nigel Brown: [Slams his fist on the desk] Tell her what?!
- Gumball: Uh, uh, I... I can't say it. It's too embarrassing.
- Nigel Brown: [Slams his fist on the desk] For the last time, why did you throw a paper plane at your teacher's face?!
- Darwin: [Whispers to Principal Brown] It says it all on the paper.
- Nigel Brown: [Reading to himself, muffled and confused] "You do not know how much you show, but the wind doth blow in the hills below?" ...Huh?
- Lucy Simian: Speaking of which, can anyone else feel that draft?
- [Miss Simian walks away to close the window. The screen zooms in on her butt. Principal Brown then spits out his beverage while giving himself a facepalm for an extended period of time. He stops for a brief moment, but then immediately goes back to spitting coffee]
- Darwin: [Still whispering to Principal Brown] Maybe you should say something.
- Nigel Brown: [Suddenly stops spitting] Yes, I suppose.
- [Principal Brown walks to Miss Simian, and whispers something into her ear]
- Lucy Simian: [Gasps whilst pulling her dress down] You knew about this, and you thought it was funny, didn't you?!
- [Gumball and Darwin simultaneously shake their heads]
- Lucy Simian: YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!
- Nigel Brown: Lucy, please. I think you owe them an apology.
- Lucy Simian: Don't you "Lucy" me, Nigel! These kids tried to make a monkey out of me, and you want me to apologize?!
- Nigel Brown: Uh, you kids are free to go.
- [Gumball and Darwin leave]
- [Miss Simian goes "ape" and throws furniture around, while making monkey sounds. Gumball and Darwin listen to Miss Simian's rampage outside Brown's office]
- Gumball: Hmm. There's one thing I don't understand.
- Darwin: Yeah, why did she go ape when we just tried to help her?
- Gumball: No, why do monkeys have hair all over their bodies, except for the ugly part where they need it the most?
- [Bell rings]
The Forgery
- Gumball: [To Darwin] Have you noticed that Miss Simian has been acting a little "off" lately?
- Darwin: Now that you mention it, she has been keeping a particularly close eye on us.
- [Screen pans out showing Miss Simian's eyeballs stretched toward Gumball and Darwin. The two then try to make their way out the classroom, when they are greeted by Miss Simian's outstretched hand. Gumball slaps Miss Simian's hand, as if giving a high-five]
- Lucy Simian: Report card. Signed.
- Gumball: Oh! Okay.
- [Miss Simian swipes the card, glances at the signature and chuckles to herself. Gumball and Darwin join in nervously. They continue laughing until Miss Simian abruptly stops and so do the boys]
In the Principal's Office 2
- Lucy Simian: It's the most pathetic, half-baked, attempt at forgery I've seen in my three-hundred-thousand years as a teacher, and I've taught during the Stone Age!
- Richard: [Gasps] Forgery-ers! My own flesh and blood accused of forgery-ing?! [Whispers to Miss Simian] What does it mean?
- Lucy Simian: Faking your signature.
- [Richard gasps again]
- Nigel Brown: We need you to sign this suspension card.
- Gumball: Oh, but—
- Richard: Buh, buh, buh!
- [Richard signs the card; Principal Brown looks at the signature to see that it is the exact same one on the report card; Scene skips to Principal Brown's office trashed, with only Miss Simian and Principal Brown in it; Miss Simian is crying]
- Nigel Brown: Uh, listen, these kids are decent children. There's nothing you can suspend them for. They don't fight, they respect school property, they don't steal.
The Money
- [Cut to the library. Gumball and Darwin find a one-hundred dollar bill on the floor]
- Gumball and Darwin: Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!
- Lucy Simian: [Hiding behind a bookshelf] C'mon, pick it up and keep it for yourselves, you thieving hoodlums.
- Gumball: [Dancing] We're rich!
- Darwin: [Also dancing] We're prosperous!
- Gumball: We're opulent!
- Darwin: We're flush!
- Gumball: We're gilded!
- Darwin: We're wealthy!
- Gumball: We're— wait a minute. We need to change our phone numbers and leave town!
- Darwin: Why?
- Gumball: [Whispering] Because they're all gonna want a piece of it.
- Darwin: Who?
- Gumball: Everyone! Look at all trying to get their creepy hands on my money!
- [Leslie walks by, creeped out]
- Darwin: Gumball, you've changed!
- Gumball: No, I haven't! I'm just the same, but happier, because I'm RICH!
- Darwin: Look at yourself! You're surrounded by all these riches, but you're the loneliest man in the world! [Sobs]
- Gumball: You're— You're right! This money is evil! I wish I never found it! [Balls up money and throws it out the window. Miss Simian dives after it]
The Fight
- [Gumball and Darwin are eating lunch outside]
- Gumball: Mm. Have you heard? There's gonna be a big fight!
- Darwin: Why do you think I brought the popcorn? Who do you think it'll be?
- Gumball: I don't know. [Gasps] Imagine if it's Tina and Bobert!
- [Cutaway of a giant Bobert and Tina shooting lasers at each other]
- Gumball: If I saw that, I'd throw away my eyes, because nothing else in the world will be worth watching anymore.
- Darwin: Really? What about [In a boxing announcer's voice] ALAN VERSUS WILLIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM?!
- [Cutaway of Alan and William bumping into each other]
- Gumball: Yeah, I'd watch it, but it'd be better if it were in a cage.
- [A cage appears in the cutaway]
- Darwin: With spikes.
- [Spikes appear in cutaway]
- Gumball: That was on fire.
- [Cage gets lit on fire. William and Alan bump each other quickly and nervously]
- Gumball: Oh, I can't wait to see who it is!
- [The students form a crowd around Gumball and Darwin]
- Students: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Lucy Simian: See? Look at them, about to fight like animals!
- Nigel Brown: Why not focus your attention on someone who really needs it? [Puckers his lips]
- Lucy Simian: Shush. It's about to start.
- Gumball: Dude, what are we doing?
- Darwin: Stupid things because of peer pressure.
- Alan: This would be even better with poison nunchucks.
- Darwin: You gotta get us out of this.
- Gumball: Okay, hold on, I got it. People of Elmore! You came to see a fight, and until a few seconds ago, I was just like you! But now that I know I'm the one who's supposed to get hit, I discovered something! Fighting is wrong! This is no way to settle a dispute. Because after all, what's more powerful? This... [Raises his fist] or this?! [Gives Darwin a handshake and a hug]
- [The crowd starts clapping while Miss Simian starts banging on the window]
- Nigel Brown: Lucy, what's wrong? Speak!
- Lucy Simian: This isn't at all what I had planned!
- Nigel Brown: Please don't tell me you're the one who arranged this fight.
- [Miss Simian starts to go "ape"; scene skips to Principal Brown sighing while lowering his head to the floor of his wrecked office]
Consulting
- [Miss Simian is seen at the museum talking to someone]
- Lucy Simian: I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but I need your advice. Is it really wrong to create false evidence to frame some criminals who you know for sure are definitely, absolutely, without a single shadow of a doubt, guilty?!
- [Camera zooms out, revealing that she's talking to a baboon skeleton]
- Lucy Simian: Well, I don't care what you say, Dad, I'm doing it anyway!
The Framing
- [Miss Simian is seen sneaking into the boys' bathroom, but not before covering her eyes. She feels in front of her and finds a mirror]
- Lucy Simian: Let's see you get away with this one, you little hooligans. [Unnoticingly sprays herself]
In the Principal's Offiice 3
- Lucy Simian: And I know for sure these two did the graffiti because they were idiotic enough to sign their names at the bottom of it!
- Nigel Brown: Are you sure no one else could've done it?
- Lucy Simian: [Screen pans out to show spray paint on her face] Absolutely!
- Nigel Brown: Miss Simian! Wrongly accusing the boys is one thing, but openly framing them is another! One more offense and you are fired! And you still owe these boys an apology!
- Gumball: [Whispering] It's fine, it's fine.
- Lucy Simian: I'll apologize when fish start to walk.
- [Darwin is about to say that it already happened, but Gumball slaps a hand on his mouth]
- Nigel Brown: [Tearfully] If this really is the kind of person you are, then we seriously need to talk about our relationship as well.
- [Miss Simian starts to go ape, but can't lift the desk]
- Nigel Brown: I saw that coming, I glued everything to the floor.
- [Miss Simian runs away crying. Principal Brown also starts sobbing]
Committing a Crime
- [School bus drives away from Elmore, screen cuts to Gumball and Darwin against the wall of the school]
- Darwin: I gotta be honest, Gumball. I'm not entirely comfortable with committing a crime.
- Gumball: Look, it's not a crime if you intend to get caught. Unless we actually do something bad, Simian's gonna blow a fuse and lose her hairy boyfriend. Do you really want that on your conscience? [Darwin shakes his head] Good, now give me a leg up.
- [Darwin gives Gumball a leg up, and Gumball hops through window]
- Darwin: Now what am I supposed to do?
- Gumball: Give yourself a leg up.
- Darwin: Oh, of course.
- [Gives himself a leg up, literally, and hops through window. They sneak in the hallway and see Principal Brown crying and spilling coffee on himself because of the glue. Gumball breaks into the bathroom through the air vent, while Darwin just uses the door. He's about to say something]
- Gumball: Don't. [Walks over to the trash can and takes the can of spraypaint that Miss Simian previously discarded] Hehe. This is gonna be easier than I thought. [Miss Simian sees them and then they see her, and she infuriatingly charges at them] Oh, why do I have to run every eight minutes of my life?!
- Darwin: Wait, in the jungle when a gorilla charges, you have to stare 'em to the ground!
- [Camera first cuts to Simian charging towards them, then to Gumball and Darwin. Then, it goes to Simian again, then Darwin can be seen running away]
- Gumball: Uh, is it working dude? DUDE?
- Darwin: I just realized, we can't let her catch us until we've done something bad.
- Gumball: Ah, you could've told me!
- Darwin: Sorry!
- [Miss Simian is still charging and Gumball starts running with his legs coming off and then his top half has to catch up. Miss Simian chases Gumball down the hall. Darwin is in a locker and opens it for Gumball]
- Darwin: Quick, get in here. [Miss Simian crashes into said locker, losing a tooth, which Gumball puts back in her mouth where it came off. Gumball and Darwin then go to Principal Brown's car]
- Gumball: You get Brown's attention, I'll deface his car. [He begins spraying the car while Darwin starts throwing rocks at the school]
- Darwin: Psst, Principal Brown! [Breaks window] Principal Brown! [Breaks another window] Principal Brown! [Breaks another window] Principal Brown! [Breaks another window] Principal Brown! [Breaks another window]
- Gumball: [Gasps] Dude, why is every single window broken, except for Brown's?
- Darwin: How about you do it yourself if you're such a hot...shot. [Miss Simian appears]
- Lucy Simian: I caught them. I finally caught them. Which means, I can do this. [Struggles to smile] You're coming with me to the principal's office.
- Gumball: With pleasure. [Gumball & Darwin begin to walk away, but stop] Wait, we forgot to spray our names.
- Lucy Simian: What do you mean?
- Gumball: Well, duh, if we don't sign it, Principal Brown will think it's you again, then you'll get fired and lose the love of your life. Now where would that leave us?
- Lucy Simian: Are you trying to say you only did this to save my reputation, my job, and my relationship?
- Darwin: Of course. What do you take us for, some kind of criminals?
- Lucy Simian: Well, yes. [Gasps] But I was wrong. Right, I'll clean this up, you need to get out of here before Principal Brown sees this.
- Gumball: I don't think so, Miss Simian. We're not letting you ruin your life.
- Lucy Simian: Don't worry, I won't. Just go! [Gumball and Darwin begin walking away. Miss Simian whispers to them] Boys, I'm sorry.
- Gumball: What?
- Lucy Simian: [A little louder] I'm sorry.
- Gumball: Say again.
- Lucy Simian: [Louder] I'm sorry.
- Gumball: Heh, heard it the first time, miss. Just wanted to milk it.
- Lucy Simian: [Chuckling] Those little...
Epilogue
- Nigel Brown: [In his car, confusedly looking at the spray paint of a pose] Care to explain?
- Lucy Simian: Wha... Ugh.
- [The episode ends]
v • e Transcript
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| Episode 1 The DVD |
Episode 2 The Responsible |
Episode 3 The Third |
Episode 4 The Debt |
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| Episode 5 The End |
Episode 6 The Dress |
Episode 7 The Quest |
Episode 8 The Spoon |
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| Episode 9 The Pressure |
Episode 10 The Painting |
Episode 11 The Laziest |
Episode 12 The Ghost |
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| Episode 13 The Mystery |
Episode 14 The Prank |
Episode 15 The Gi |
Episode 16 The Kiss |
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| Episode 17 The Party |
Episode 18 The Refund |
Episode 19 The Robot |
Episode 20 The Picnic |
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| Episode 21 The Goons |
Episode 22 The Secret |
Episode 23 The Sock |
Episode 24 The Genius |
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| Episode 25 The Poltergeist |
Episode 26 The Mustache |
Episode 27 The Date |
Episode 28 The Club |
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| Episode 29 The Wand |
Episode 30 The Ape |
Episode 31 The Car |
Episode 32 The Curse |
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| Episode 33 The Microwave |
Episode 34 The Meddler |
Episode 35 The Helmet |
Episode 36 The Fight |
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| Episode 1 The Remote |
Episode 2 The Colossus |
Episode 3 The Knights |
Episode 4 The Fridge |
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| Episode 5 The Flower |
Episode 6 The Banana |
Episode 7 The Phone |
Episode 8 The Job |
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| Episode 9 Halloween |
Episode 10 The Treasure |
Episode 11 The Apology |
Episode 12 The Words |
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| Episode 13 The Skull |
Episode 14 The Bet |
Episode 15 Christmas |
Episode 16 The Watch |
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| Episode 17 The Bumpkin |
Episode 18 The Flakers |
Episode 19 The Authority |
Episode 20 The Virus |
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| Episode 21 The Pony |
Episode 22 The Hero |
Episode 23 The Dream |
Episode 24 The Sidekick |
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| Episode 25 The Photo |
Episode 26 The Tag |
Episode 27 The Storm |
Episode 28 The Lesson |
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| Episode 29 The Game |
Episode 30 The Limit |
Episode 31 The Voice |
Episode 32 The Promise |
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| Episode 33 The Castle |
Episode 34 The Boombox |
Episode 35 The Tape |
Episode 36 The Sweaters |
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| Episode 37 The Internet |
Episode 38 The Plan |
Episode 39 The World |
Episode 40 The Finale |
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| Episode 1 The Kids |
Episode 2 The Fan |
Episode 3 The Coach |
Episode 4 The Joy |
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| Episode 5 The Puppy |
Episode 6 The Recipe |
Episode 7 The Name |
Episode 8 The Extras |
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| Episode 9 The Gripes |
Episode 10 The Vacation |
Episode 11 The Fraud |
Episode 12 The Void |
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| Episode 13 The Boss |
Episode 14 The Move |
Episode 15 The Law |
Episode 16 The Allergy |
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| Episode 17 The Mothers |
Episode 18 The Password |
Episode 19 The Procrastinators |
Episode 20 The Shell |
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| Episode 21 The Burden |
Episode 22 The Bros |
Episode 23 The Mirror |
Episode 24 The Man |
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| Episode 25 The Pizza |
Episode 26 The Lie |
Episode 27 The Butterfly |
Episode 28 The Question |
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| Episode 29 The Saint |
Episode 30 The Friend |
Episode 31 The Oracle |
Episode 32 The Safety |
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| Episode 33 The Society |
Episode 34 The Spoiler |
Episode 35 The Countdown |
Episode 36 The Nobody |
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| Episode 37 The Downer |
Episode 38 The Egg |
Episode 39 The Triangle |
Episode 40 The Money |
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| Episode 1 The Return |
Episode 2 The Nemesis |
Episode 3 The Crew |
Episode 4 The Others |
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| Episode 5 The Signature |
Episode 6 The Check |
Episode 7 The Pest |
Episode 8 The Sale |
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| Episode 9 The Gift |
Episode 10 The Parking |
Episode 11 The Routine |
Episode 12 The Upgrade |
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| Episode 13 The Comic |
Episode 14 The Romantic |
Episode 15 The Uploads |
Episode 16 The Apprentice |
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| Episode 17 The Hug |
Episode 18 The Wicked |
Episode 19 The Traitor |
Episode 20 The Origins |
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| Episode 21 The Origins: Part Two |
Episode 22 The Girlfriend |
Episode 23 The Advice |
Episode 24 The Signal |
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| Episode 25 The Parasite |
Episode 26 The Love |
Episode 27 The Awkwardness |
Episode 28 The Nest |
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| Episode 29 The Points |
Episode 30 The Bus |
Episode 31 The Night |
Episode 32 The Misunderstandings |
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| Episode 33 The Roots |
Episode 34 The Blame |
Episode 35 The Slap |
Episode 36 The Detective |
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| Episode 37 The Fury |
Episode 38 The Compilation |
Episode 39 The Scam |
Episode 40 The Disaster |
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| Episode 1 The Rerun |
Episode 2 The Stories |
Episode 3 The Guy |
Episode 4 The Boredom |
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| Episode 5 The Vision |
Episode 6 The Choices |
Episode 7 The Code |
Episode 8 The Test |
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| Episode 9 The Slide |
Episode 10 The Loophole |
Episode 11 The Fuss |
Episode 12 The Copycats |
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| Episode 13 The Potato |
Episode 14 The Outside |
Episode 15 The Vase |
Episode 16 The Matchmaker |
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| Episode 17 The Box |
Episode 18 The Console |
Episode 19 The Ollie |
Episode 20 The Catfish |
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| Episode 21 The Cycle |
Episode 22 The Stars |
Episode 23 The Grades |
Episode 24 The Diet |
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| Episode 25 The Ex |
Episode 26 The Sorcerer |
Episode 27 The Menu |
Episode 28 The Uncle |
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| Episode 29 The Weirdo |
Episode 30 The Heist |
Episode 31 The Singing |
Episode 32 The Best |
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| Episode 33 The Worst |
Episode 34 The Deal |
Episode 35 The Petals |
Episode 36 The Nuisance |
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| Episode 37 The Line |
Episode 38 The List |
Episode 39 The News |
Episode 40 The Puppets |
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| Episode 1 The Rival |
Episode 2 The Lady |
Episode 3 The Sucker |
Episode 4 The Vegging |
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| Episode 5 The One |
Episode 6 The Father |
Episode 7 The Cringe |
Episode 8 The Cage |
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| Episode 9 The Neighbor |
Episode 10 The Anybody |
Episode 11 The Faith |
Episode 12 The Candidate |
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| Episode 13 The Pact |
Episode 14 The Shippening |
Episode 15 The Brain |
Episode 16 The Parents |
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| Episode 17 The Founder |
Episode 18 The Schooling |
Episode 19 The Intelligence |
Episode 20 The Potion |
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| Episode 21 The Spinoffs |
Episode 22 The Transformation |
Episode 23 The Understanding |
Episode 24 The Ad |
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| Episode 25 The Ghouls |
Episode 26 The Stink |
Episode 27 The Awareness |
Episode 28 The Slip |
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| Episode 29 The Drama |
Episode 30 The Buddy |
Episode 31 The Possession |
Episode 32 The Master |
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| Episode 33 The Silence |
Episode 34 The Future |
Episode 35 The Wish |
Episode 36 The Factory |
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| Episode 37 The Agent |
Episode 38 The Web |
Episode 39 The Mess |
Episode 40 The Heart |
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| Episode 41 The Revolt |
Episode 42 The Decisions |
Episode 43 The BFFS |
Episode 44 The Inquisition |