[The episode starts with Gumball wearing a tuxedo, while being spyed on]
Gumball: Darwin? Ugh. Darwin? Ugh. Darwin, where are you? [Notices Darwin holding a used up toilet roll and points at him] There you are!
Darwin: Aww, man! [Revealed to be wearing feminine pants, wig and makeup] My makeup's running, and there's no toilet paper in the whole school!
Gumball: You really didn't need to go that far.
Leslie: [Walking by] Au contraire, the makeup's great! And the one piece bias-cut polyester pants suit with crystal accents and a bauble hem is totally en vogue!
Gumball: I have no idea what you just said, but hey! What about me?
Leslie: Hm, you look like a-
Gumball: I know.
[Horizontal black borders appear, spy music plays]
Gumball: A secret agent.
Leslie: I was gonna say undertaker.
Leslie: Why are you dressed like that anyway?
Gumball: Well, it all started at swim club. [Takes a deep breath and crouches down to imitate swimming]
Gumball: Wait for it...
[Bubbles sweep across the screen, beginning the flashback. In the style of a spy movie, opening credits fade in. Silhouettes of the swim club members swim by: "COACH R. RUSSO PRESENTS: SWIM CLUB. With PENNY FITZGERALD, CLARE COOPER, and DARWIN WATTERSON, JODIE MALLARD, introducing GUMBALL WATTERSON. Gumball's silhouette flails and kicks the credits. Cut to Gumball flailing for his life in the pool. Darwin pulls him out.]
Darwin: Yeah, I don't think swim club is for you.
Gumball: Half the school isn't suited to swim club! I mean, there's Teri. You never know which bit of her's gonna clog the filter first. [Teri walks through the foot bath and her legs disintegrate. she puts hand in the water, pulls out most of it, and screams.] And then there's William. Surely, the chlorine in the water's gonna sting his....everything.
Darwin: Shh! He'll hear you!
Gumball: Doesn't have ears.
[William flies by and glares at them, then turns away]
Darwin: I think you hurt his feelings!
Gumball: How could you tell? He's kinda hard to read without an eyebrow. Or mouth, or cheeks, or nostrils.
[A pounding sound is heard. It's Coach, bouncing on the diving board.]
Darwin: I...think we better get out of here before the coach dives in the-
[She dives in, pushing all the water out of the pool. Gumball and Darwin are swept by a wave into the locker room.]
Gumball: Too late.
Darwin: Wait! Where's our clothes?
Gumball: [gasps] They've been stolen!
Darwin: Ugh. You know what this means.
[At the Lost & Found]
Joan: See? A perfect fit! And they're exactly like your old clothes! ...Are words that have never been uttered in Lost & Found. Anyway, you're in luck. Mr. Corneille and I do ballroom dancing and our costumes got shrunk in the wash, so...[Holds up a tuxedo and a black polyester pantsuit] This is all I got.
Gumball: This is all you have?
Joan: Okay, this is all I have. Jeez, since when were you so hard on grammar?
Darwin: [angrily] He means we can't possibly wear those! [suddenly overjoyed] Without accessories!
[End of flashback.]
Leslie: Huh. Wish I'd never asked. That flashback was so long I've grown roots! [Lifts his roots off the floor and walks away.]
Gumball: [to Darwin] But why the wig?
Darwin: It looks weird without it.
[Rocky walks by, holding a ladder]
Rocky: Uh, 'scuse me kids. Somebody stole the PA speaker and I gotta fix it. [Sets the ladder against the wall were the frayed wires from the stolen system are, and electrocutes himself violently. He then faints and coughs]
Gumball: [In a James Bond-esque accent] Well, they will give him some...odd jobs.
Darwin: This is how it's gonna be, isn't it?
Gumball: That's what secret agents do, right? Make light quips after horrific workplace accidents!
[A toilet flushing is heard. Principal Brown walks out of the bathroom.]
Nigel Brown: What is it with this place? People stealing the toilet rolls now! You two! My office!
Gumball: But sir, we didn't steal-[Principal Brown turns around, his fur is tucked into his underwear] and now I've lost my train of thought completely.
Taking the Case
[In Principal Brown's office]
Nigel Brown: Watterson, tell me. What do you know about hacking the central intelligence data server?
Gumball: [smoothly] You just bypass the storage controller, tap into the VNX array head, and disable the IDS. Why, sir?
Nigel Brown: [looking at a crossword book] Crossword clue. Nah, doesn't fit. Never mind. [tosses away book] Anyway, do you know anything about all this stuff being stolen?
Gumball: Well, I-
Nigel Brown: My thoughts precisely! The toilet roll. The PA system. And, judging by that Italian waiter outfit, your clothes. I want you to find out who's stealing them, what they plan to do with them, and why.
Gumball: But sir, why choose me for this mission?
Nigel Brown: Because, Watterson, you and you alone...happened to be passing. [sits down and starts drawing] That's all. Oh, and Watterson?
Gumball: [about to leave] Yes, sir?
Nigel Brown: Close the door on the way out. [Gumball is about to leave again] And, Watterson?
Gumball: Yes, sir?
Nigel Brown: [pause] I've forgotten. [Gumball starts to leave a third time] And, Watterson-
Darwin: Just ignore him or we'll never get out! [pushes Gumball out and closes the door]
[In the hallway]
Darwin: Okay, so what are we gonna do?
Gumball: Oh, don't worry your pretty face about it. Leave it to the professionals. Now, there's clearly some sort of mastermind behind all this. Overseeing his plans in a secret lair, stroking a cat... [passes by a dark room full of screens and a chair facing backwards] Uh-huh.... [goes into the room] Your time is up, Mr.- [The chair turns around, revealing to be Darwin, stroking his wig] What the! Darwin?!
Darwin: Well, you were disrespecting me!
Gumball: [sighs] Yeah, I'm sorry. You're right.
Darwin: Thank you.
Gumball: You do look weird without the wig. What are you doing in here anyway?
Darwin: Checking the surveillance!
Gumball: Of course! An agent is only as good as his intelligence.
Darwin: [Puts his wig back on] Yep. That rules us out.
Gumball: Okay, someone else's intelligence. [Turns around, with a sinister face] And I think I know just the robot.
Gumball: Yes, I was trying to be mysterious.
Darwin: But Bobert's the only robot we kno-
Gumball: YES! All right!
A Clue from Bobert
[In Miss Simian's classroom, Gumball is interviewing Bobert]
Gumball: So, Bobert, we need you to help us work out who's been stealing- [Notices some random objects on a table] actually, scrap that, we need GADGETS!! What's this?
Bobert: [Picks up a pen] It looks like an ordinary fountain pen.
Gumball and Darwin: Yeah? Yeah?
Bobert: Because it is an ordinary fountain pen.
Gumball: Oh. What about this?
Bobert: Now pay attention. [Picks up a belt] A typical black belt, but turn the buckle like so, and it is a typical brown belt.
Darwin: [Picks up a small red flower] What about this?
Gumball: Dude, that's just a flower. But hey! [Puts the flower in his lapel] Now I really do look like a-
Bobert: Friendless dork on prom night!
[Bobert starts glitching and is picked up. A force throws him onto the glass and tears his arms off. Bobert drops onto the floor while his arms go out the window]
Darwin: Bobert, are you okay?
Gumball: [looks out the window and sees everything missing going down the sidewalk] Look! There goes the stolen stuff! We better go after it!
Darwin: What about Bobert?
Gumball: Oh, he seems 'armless enough.
Darwin: That's not what I asked.
Gumball: [to the screen] Maybe we should lend him a-
Bobert: Just go and find my arms please.
I Know Who the Villain Is!
Gumball: [running down the sidewalk] Come on!
Darwin: [stumbling] I'm doing all this in heels, remember?
[They pass by the Bananas, who are painting their fence.]
Gumball: Oh! Guys! Did you see anything fly by here?
Banana Bob: No, I didn't. [His mustache tears off and flies away]
Gumball: Come on! [They run off, following the mustache]
Banana Bob: But...my top lip! It's naked!
Banana Barbara: Let me fix that. [Paints an eye in its place] There.
[All the flying objects turn a corner, but then disappear.]
Darwin: What? Where did it all go?!
Gumball: Don't worry, we'll find it. A secret agent must use every means at his disposal to achieve his objective. Stealth, intelligence, [Darwin peers down a sewer grate] tenacity, a British car, grappling hooks....
Darwin: You! Gumball! I know who it is! It's [falls through the grate] WAAAAAAAHHHH!!
Gumball: ....wet wipes, all kinds of insurance.....[gasps, turns around] DARWIN!! [picks up and strokes his wig] S'all right. S'quite all right, really. [tears up, presses his cheek against the wig starts to cry] We'll have all the time in the-
Darwin: [from inside the grate] GUMBALL!
Gumball: Oh, you're down there. Hold on, I'm coming! [tosses the wig aside and jumps in]
[We see a Leonard Daniels lookalike with hair exactly like Darwin's wig. Next to him, the real Leonard picks up the real discarded wig. ]
Leonard Daniels: Look, Bernice! That cat just flung a wig at us.
An Unlikely Villain
[In the sewers. Darwin is tied to a chair.]
Darwin: Gumball? GUMBALL! [Struggles to free himself] GUMBALL!!
Mysterious Voice: It is no use. Nobody can hear you. My identity will remain a secret as long as you're down here.
Darwin: You won't get away with this!
Mysterious Voice: And who is going to stop me?
[Gumball appears from inside a pipe]
Gumball: I am! [Spy fanfare plays] I knew I'd find you sewer or later!
[He grabs onto a smaller pipe and starts to slide down when he loses his grip and falls the rest of the way. The pipe tips over, making a perfect bridge to a bigger pipe.]
Gumball: Aw, come on!
Darwin: Gumball! I know who the villain is! [Gumball unties him] It's—
[The mysterious voice reveals himself to be William, with a makeshift body made from all the stolen items.]
William: Me! For years I've been ignored. Ridiculed. A literal no-body! Well, not anymore!
Gumball: Sorry, who are you?
Darwin: It's William! Can't you see? The PA system, Bob's mustache, the toilet rolls?
William: That's right! I, William, stole it all!
Gumball: Wait! What about our clothes?
William: I didn't steal your clothes! Why would I steal your clothes? Come, come, give me some credit for having a little taste.
Darwin: [gasps] Oh, yeah, we left them in the locker, didn't we?
Gumball: [nods] Ohh, of course. [to William] Yeah, well maybe you should've stolen a full-length mirror. You look like an accident in a thrift store!
Darwin: I, uh, think we better get out of here and tell Principal Brown!
[He traps Gumball and Darwin under shopping carts weighed down by an enormous pipe.]
Gumball and Darwin: AAAHHH!!!
William: I'll get to Principal Brown and tell him you did it! You were at every crime scene, you were the prime suspects! YOU WILL TAKE THE BLAME!!
Gumball: Yeah, but you are literally made of the evidence.
William: Good point. I'll leave him a note. [He flees]
Gumball: [Makes smug face] Well he, uh, never did have a head for heights.
Darwin: At least make them relevant! [Pushes top of shopping cart] Come on! Help me with this! We're about to be framed for something we didn't do!
Gumball: Nah, it could be worse. At least it's not filling with—
[Water starts shooting out of one of the pipes, causing the room to fill up with water. They panic.]
Darwin: AAAAAHHHHH!!! NOW WHAT?!
Gumball: [Gasps, snaps fingers] I got it!
Gumball: [Makes smug face] I think the....body of evidence is in our favor!
Gumball: Ah, stop panicking! You're a fish! You can breathe underwater!
Darwin: Yeah, but you can't!
[Gumball realizes this and starts screaming along with his brother. ]
Gumball: SOMEBODY HELP US! HELP US PLEASE!! HELP!!!
[Suddenly, a laser slices the pipe in two. The boys free themselves and look up to see Bobert.]
Gumball and Darwin: Bobert!
[Bobert swoops in, picks them up, and flies them out of the sewer.]
Gumball: Of course! There's a homing device in my flower!
Bobert: No, it's in my arms. And they're heading to the school!
Darwin: Wait! Without your arms, how are you steering?
Bobert: Good point! [He starts spinning out of control and bounces off the walls until exiting the sewer via a manhole in front of the Robinsons' yard. The manhole cover spins through the air and slices off part of Mrs. Robinson's hair. She glares at Mr. Robinson, who is holding hedge clippers.]
A Great Escape
Bobert: I'm in control! [His battery dies] But out of gas.
[They fall into an ambulance, and ride out the back on a stretcher. They are headed for a collision with Granny Jojo and Louie's car]
Louie: [grabs the steering wheel while Granny Jojo is driving] Ahead two-thirds!
[Their car veers out of the way just in time, but now the stretcher is nearing the unfinished bridge. Gumball screams as they fly off the ramp and almost make it, but hit the side and are now falling into the water.]
Gumball: I can't swim!!
Bobert: You won't have to!
[Bobert dives in and morphs into a submarine of sorts. Gumball is inside him while Darwin swims beside them, going noticeably faster.]
Gumball: This as fast as it goes? Oh, wait, what does this button do?
[Gumball shoots out of the water. Bobert and Darwin fly beside him.]
Bobert: It's the ejector seat. [Gumball starts falling. Bobert and Darwin fly after him] Mayday! Mayday!
[Bobert turns into a parachute, and the three land safely on top of a train. ]
Darwin: Yeah, Bobert! You're invincib—[The parachute catches the wind and they whisk away.]
Gumball: Darwin!! Don't worry, leave it to Double—[Gets knocked out by a passing traffic light]
[Gumball, knocked out, rolls off the train and down a hill. He bounces down the streets of Elmore, until he reaches Elmore Junior High. He slides down the halls and stops right in front of Principal Brown's door, his tux disheveled. William catches up shortly after.]
William: You're too late!
Gumball: [knocks on door] Am I? I think you'll find I've got a license to spill, the beans! On you, just to be clear.
Nigel Brown: [answers door] Yes?
[William quickly ditches his "body," and all the stolen items fall on the floor around Gumball.]
Gumball: Principal Brown! I did it!
Nigel Brown: You did it?! And to think I trusted you!
Gumball: What?! Nonono! I meant the mission. I completed it! The culprit's right here! [Gestures to William, but Darwin and Bobert walk up next to him.]
Nigel Brown: Other Watterson? I should've known. But robot child, I'm very disappointed in you. Detention for all three of you!
Darwin: No! But it was William!
Nigel Brown: William?! [whispers] Who's William?
Gumball: [points to William] That one.
Nigel Brown: Don't be ridiculous. Where's your proof?
Bobert: [puts one of his arms back] Gumball, give him your flower.
Gumball: I, uh....don't see how that's gonna help.
Bobert: [puts the other arm back] No, open the stem.
[He does, and there's a recording device inside.]
Gumball: [delighted] Gadgets!! [He presses a button, and William's speech starts playing.]
William: [on recording] I, William, stole it all.
Nigel Brown: Really?! A week's detention for you!
Gumball, Darwin, and Bobert: William.
Nigel Brown: William. And return all this stuff at once! [takes a toilet roll] But not this.
[He walks off. William goes after him, followed by all the stolen items.]
Gumball: [makes smug face] Let's, uh, get out of these old things, hm?
Watterson, Gumball Watterson
[Back at the Lost & Found, Gumball and Darwin are back in their regular clothes and are checking the tux and pantsuit back in.]
Joan: Okay, I just need to sign these back in. Your name?
Gumball: [Horizontal black borders appear, spy music plays, and Gumball pulls his smug face again] Watterson, Gumball Watterson.
Joan: Is that all one word or with a hyphen?
Joan: Like Watterson Gumball Watterson, or Watterson Gumball, hyphen, Watterson?