Richard Watterson/Quotes

“	You've got to go on without me. I'm stuck for the next two turns.	”
—from "The Club"

“	I'll be honest with ya, I broke five ribs, but it was all worth it, just to see your faces!	”
—from "The Prank"

“	Come on, think outside the box! It's got everything we need—a toilet, a...toilet...	”
—from "The End"

“	I'll do it for you, my little girl! And I need that key to the executive washroom.	”
—from "The Painting"

“	"Apocala-tips", "Apoca-eclipse"—it's all the same, smarty-pants!	”
—from "The End"

“	Sorry, I've got a medical condition, called laziness.	”
—from "The Laziest"

“	It's only funny when it happens to someone else! How could you do this to your own father?	”
—from "The Prank"

“	Well, none of this would have happened if it wasn't for you! [points at a broken computer]	”
—from "The Responsible"

“	It's because of you I'm mortal!	”
—from "The Gi"

“	What?! So, you mean the president didn't really need my cape?!	”
—from "The Gi"

“	We grow up so fat!	”
—from "The Mustache"

“	O Madre Mia!	”
—from "The Remote"

“	Watch your language, young man! Cheese is not to be invoked in vain in this house!	”
—from in "The Refund"

“	Oh, yeah, I have no idea how that happened. It was wet when I put it in.	”
—from "The Prank"

“	I have invented the sausage pen! Everything it writes is delicious.	”
—from "The Fridge"

“	First he takes my sausages, and then what? Should I let him take my wife? A man's house is his castle, Nicole. And this is a castle, and I'm not letting him ruin it. There's a phantom in our bed, ...A giant earwig! And the next thing you know, he'll come for the kids—the kids!	”
—from "The Poltergeist

“	I'm gonna prank you!	”
—from "The Prank"

“	Of course we understand you when you're making no sense; we're your family!	”
—To Gumball, from "The Disaster"

“	Hey guys! Do you sometimes wonder what tree does cheese come from?	”
—from "The Allergy"

“	If you're going to do something wrong, do it right!	”
—from "The Nuisance"

“	Ha! Take that, science!	”
—from "The Nuisance"

“	I'm not a punisher! I'm a fun-isher!	”
—from "The Limit"

“	Nicole: Hm. What would you do if you were me? Richard: If I had done everything you've done? Sleep 'til I'm forty.	”
—from "The Choices"

“	Nicole: I mean...what should I do with my life? Richard: Hmm. Maybe start living it?	”
—from "The Choices"

“	"Eat one hundred hot dogs in under a minute." That's not a Daar! That's Tuesday!	”
—from "The Game"

“	Alan: So, are you poor or not? Richard: Yeah, sure. [Sarcastically] I'm an unemployed man with three children. I'm obviously a millionaire.	”
—from "The Gripes"

“	I can finally call myself retired instead of unemployed!	”
—from "The Box"

“	What? Five hundred dollars? What do they think I am, employed?	”
—from "The List"

“	Okay. So, sarcasm is when you say something you don’t mean, but with an eyebrow raised?	”
—from "The Gripes"

“	Richard: What's that awful stuff that's like fruit that people decorate plates with? Darwin: You mean a vegetable? Richard: Uhh, yes. That's what stained on my lips. A vergetule.	”
—from "The Lady"

“	Uh, what is the name of these people that you pay to make your skin cry until you're thin?	”
—from "The Lady"

“	My nipples are purple! [Whispers] Not really. That was sarcasm.	”
—from "The Gripes"

“	Well, they shouldn't say "All you can eat" if they don't mean it.	”
—from "The Mirror"

“	Richard: [Angry] I'm not bald! Bald people are a joke! Larry: [Lifts his hat] Uh, I'm bald, sir. Richard: Exactly!	”
—from "The Stars"

“	Opening other people's mail is like staring at the sun. The more people tell you you shouldn't do it, [Yearning] the more you just gotta.	”
—from "The Box"

“	Prepare to jump into hyper-speed!	”
—from "The Return"

“	I am a good father!	”
—from "The Return"

“	Buttersmear, makes everything taste a little bit butter.	”
—from "The Compilation"