"Elmore Help Desk" is a song from "The Butterfly." It is sung by Karen, Alison, Rocky, Marvin, Mr. Robinson, and Hank.
Lyrics
Karen: Good morning, Elmore Help Desk! How can I assist you?
Alison: I've just been abandoned by my brand new fiancé
Karen: I'm gonna need his details so I can assist you
Alison: I know it sounds unlikely but I never got his name...
[The phone rings; Rocky is calling]
Karen: Sorry caller, hold the line!
Good morning, Elmore Help Desk! How can I be of service?
Rocky: A crazy alligator lady wants to be my bride!
Karen: And what is it about her that's making you so nervous?
Rocky: Eighty-seven teeth, and a butt that's five foot wide
[Another phone rings; Marvin is calling]
Karen: Sorry caller, hold the line!
Good morning, Elmore Help Desk! How can I assist you?
Marvin: I'm gonna need a bit of help to get me standing straight
Karen: And do you have a wife, sir, or someone else who's missed you?
Marvin: I don't, but if you're offering, I'll pick you up at eight
[Yet another phone rings; Mr. Robinson is calling. Karen is growing a bit frantic]
Karen: 'Morning, Elmore Help Desk! How can I assist you?
Gaylord Robinson: I wanna sue the lousy flying head who made me crash!
Karen: There is no need to shout, sir, I really must insist you—
Gaylord Robinson: Our taxes pay your wages, I'm entitled to be brash!
[Another phone rings; it is Hank. Karen is freaking out at this point]
Karen: Yes?! Help Desk?! What seems to be the crisis?
Hank: An accident has left me very widely spread
Karen: Stay calm and wait for help, sir, that's what my advice is
Hank: I would, but I'm afraid I have an itch upon my head
Karen: [starts yelling] Sorry, caller, hold the line!
[She accidentally switches back to Mr. Robinson's line instead of Alison's]
Morning ma'am, I'm back now; I found your lost fiancé
Gaylord Robinson: Who're you calling "ma'am?" This service is appalling!
Karen: Sorry, sir, I'm trying! There's no need to be nasty!
Marvin: I'd have been back home by now, if I'd just started crawling
Karen: 'Morning, Elmore Help Desk—
Rocky: Stop that crazy gator!
Alison: Again, I am a crocodile! I'm eccentric, I'm not mad!
Rocky: Oh, boy...
Hank: Can someone scratch me?
Marvin: I think I'll call back later
Gaylord Robinson: I'll have your job for this!
Rocky: Wait a sec, is that my dad?
Karen: [extremely angry] OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY! [says each line as she slams a phone onto its receiver]
[To Mr. Robinson] You get some manners!
[To Rocky] And you get a life!
[To Hank] You need some spanners!
[To Marvin] And you need a wife!
[To Alison] You need a pay-off!
NOW, I NEED A DAY OFF!
