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Alan's Big Ego
[The episode begins in Gumball and Darwin's room, where Darwin is seen typing on a laptop. The camera then zooms to his laptop's screen, showing Darwin moving the letter "n" towards Alan's name to finish making his name in the yearbook slot. Carrie then starts texting Darwin]
Carrie: Hey Darwin, how's that yearbook coming along?
Darwin: I'm just about to add Alan.
Carrie: Are you sure there's enough space for his ego?
Darwin: What do you mean? He's all about helping other people. And look, he makes these wonderful inspirational quotes.
[Darwin plays a video of Alan's inspirational quotes on his laptop, containing scenes from "The Saint," "The Third," "The Question," "The Traitor," "The Photo," and "The Storm" playing the instrumental of "Life Ain't Perfect" in the background]
Alan [flashback][video]: When a man says yes to life, life says yes to him. If you wanna be loved, first, you gotta love yourself. Real beauty comes from within. It's never too late for friendship. If meaning of life is to be good to others. It doesn't cost anything, and it might just bring someone a smile. You need to learn to accept yourself for who you are. What's important is that you stay true to yourself. If you help someone, then one day, they might help someone else, and the world will be a better place. [Alan floats out of the camera's view, then Darwin texts Carrie again]
Darwin: Doesn't it bring a lump to your throat?
Carrie: [short of breath] Yep, but it's my breakfast.
Darwin: Hey, poor Alan— all people ever wanna do is try to burst his bubble. [clicks to see that the video was disliked by Gumball ten times and liked by Leonard Daniels once] Specifically Gumball.
Carrie: Okay, go for it, but don't say I didn't warn you.
[Darwin scrolls to another video made by Alan titled "Ice Bucket Challenge."]
Darwin: Oh! Ice Bucket Challenge!
[Darwin plays the video of the Ice Bucket Challenge]
Alan: I was nominated by my friend Gumball for the Ice Bucket Challenge. To be on— [Bobert blares an alarm]
Bobert: COMMUNICATION ERROR: You are not friends with Gumball.
Alan: [Chuckles nervously] To be honest, I think it's better to just give to the cause without doing the challenge, but— [Bobert blares another alarm]
Bobert: LOGIC ERROR: Why are you doing it then?
Alan: What's the harm in having a little fun while helping others? Anyway, the knowledge that I'm doing my bit for those less fortunate than me will keep me warm. [Bobert blares yet another alarm]
Bobert: NEGATIVE— [Alan glares at Bobert] Altruistic aid of others will provide zero insulation.
Alan: Okay, you know, Bobert, sometimes you can be a little too literal, you know? Just pour the ice bucket, please?
[Bobert proceeds to pour the ice bucket]
Alan: I nominate Tobias, Darwin, and— [Bobert pours the ice bucket on Alan, but it is solid ice and pops Alan before he can finish. Darwin stops the video]
Darwin: Aww, poor guy— it always ends so badly. [Darwin clicks the message icon to message Alan] Hey Alan.
Alan: Hey, I was just thinking about you! I found a bright new penny and thought, "Darwin would love that."
Darwin: You're so kind Alan. Which is why I'm gonna put you on the front cover of the yearbook.
Alan: Oh no no no no no, surely there is someone more worthy of that honor than I.
Darwin: Well then consider it an apology to all the mean stuff me and Gumball-
Alan: Mainly Gumball.
Darwin: Mainly Gumball has done over the years. Including forgetting your name and... um... handlessness.
[The scene cuts to when Gumball and Alan were on a play date from "The Third."]
Gumball [flashback]: Ah, come on, Adrian! Roll the dice! Roll the dice!
Alan: I can't! I got no hands!
Gumball: Argh! Fine! I'll do it for you! [Rolls the dice] Six. Right. Pick a card!
Alan: I still have no hands!
Gumball: Argh, do I have to do everything?!
Alan: Listen, Gumball, do you really wanna be doing this? I mean, we've never even hung out before, and now we are having a sleepover.
Gumball: Did I ask for your opinion, Alfred?! [Alan deflates a little]
Alan: Can I at least call my mom?
Gumball: Fine! But keep it quick! [Gives Alan a telephone]
Alan: Still no hands.
Gumball: Number![Alan starts messaging again]
Alan: [texting again] Hahaha, we all have our bad days, David ;-).
Darwin: Seriously though, we've been really mean to you.
[The scene cuts to when Gumball threatens Alan in "The Photo."]
Gumball: Now listen here, you no-good-lying hunk, if you don't tell me your secret, I'll have no choice but to buy you a one-way ticket to pain town.
Alan: Gumball, there is no secret.
Gumball: [Sigh] You made me do this. [Pushes Alan to the floor, only making Alan bounce off and hit Gumball] Ow! [Repeats] Ah! Darn it! [Repeats] Face me like a man! [Repeats a few more times]
[The scene skips to Gumball, Alan, and Darwin again, with Gumball having a black eye and beaten-up face. Gumball weakly punches Alan again and again. He gets tired and falls back]
Alan: Yeah, but he's done me favors too!
[The scene cuts Gumball going back in the boys' restroom to see Alan, almost completely deflated, lying on the toilet bowl from "The Storm."]
Gumball: Duuude, pull yourself together man. You got to start dating again!
Alan: What's the point?
Gumball: Because... [Reads from his notepad] the duck-billed platypus is known to store about six hundred worms in its cheek pouches— [Stops for a second] Wait, that's my biology notes. [Gumball moves backwards while speaking his quote backwards too] Because... you owe it to Carmen. If she sees you moving on, then she'll be able to do the same thing and find happiness she deserves!
Alan: You're right. I'll do it for Carmen! But, who would date such a shriveled bag of sadness?
Gumball: Well, no one. But, if you re-inflate, you can have a shot with Masami!
Alan: I don't think I have enough strength to inflate. [Gestures his knot towards Gumball]
[Alan and Gumball exit the boys' restroom. Alan has a pleased expression, and Gumball looks disgusted]
Darwin: [texting] That was a one-off though. He was pretty adamant about it.
Alan: Okay, well, if Gumball wants to apologize, he can. But you, Darwin, have been nothing but a true friend.
Darwin: I dunno. I kinda got involved in your assassination attempt.
[Cuts to Gumball and Darwin trying to kill Alan in "The Vision."]
Darwin: Activate sniper mode.
[He puts in the dart, aims for him, and extends his eye to a sniper-like shape. He tries to aim at him, but his sniper eye aims all over the place]
Gumball: Dude, what are you doing? [Gasps] There he is!
[He tries shooting, but ends up sucking the dart and choking on it. He falls. Walking behind Alan, Gumball pushes the students and steals a stapler from Mr. Corneille]
Gumball: Goodbye, Alan. Ow! Ahhhhhh. [Gumball falls to the floor]
Alan: Haha, well, you didn't pop me so no harm done.
Darwin: Let me stop you there. We've popped you like a zillion times.
[Cuts to a montage of Alan being popped in numerous ways, such as Darwin touching him, Gumball touching Alan with a thumbtack, and Alan running into Carmen]
Alan: Aah! Aah! No! Nononononono!
Alan: Sure, but what can I say? Balloons are gonna burst, right? ;-)
Darwin: We also burst your family.
[The scene cuts to Gumball and Darwin, bursting the balloons from "The Traitor"]
Gumball: You got busted! You got busted! You bot gusted! [Whispering] Oh dagnabbit, I messed it up!
Gumball: Everyone thinks you're so perfect, so I invited you over to make up for the way I treated you, but to avoid hanging out with me you lied about your mother being ILL!!!
Alan: But my mom is ill.
Gumball: Or maybe she's just exhausted from all the fun she's been having today! Stop pretending! Hey!!
Alan: That was my Uncle Phil!
Darwin: And even our Dad nearly popped your dad.
[The scene cuts to Dexter trying to get the briefcase from"The Bus"]
Dexter: Okay, you hold onto me, and I'll reach out and grab the briefcase! Maybe we should switch!
Alan: See, us balloons always bounce back— we're like toast that way.
Darwin: Yeah— wait what? Toast doesn't bounce!
Alan: I mean like Anton. Whatever life throws at him he just keeps on bouncing back.
[The scene cuts to Anton keeping on bouncing back from "The Recipe"]
Alan: See, He deserves to be on the yearbook cover, not me!
Darwin: Ok, sure! He had a hard time too! But remember when we literally removed your organs? We've never done that to any of our other friends.
[The scene cuts to Gumball and Darwin, recovering Alan and Jessica. this is from "The Traitor" too]
Gumball: Okay... Flatulum transplant... Any ideas?
Darwin: Try this! Elmore Biology!
[Darwin gives gumball a picture book supposedly depicting the anatomies of different Elmore residents; however the book is a little weird, as Sarah and Hot Dog Guy appear to have skeletons and Rocky has a skeleton shaped like a giant hand referring to him being a puppet; they finally find the right pages]