The Check/Transcript




 * Breakfast!




 * Breakfast!




 * Break-


 * Sorry, kids. I don't have a snooze button. Come on down, now.


 * Why?


 * Because as your new old grandpa, I wanna spend some quality time with ya!


 * I call being asleep quality time.


 * And no offense, grandpa Louie, but I don't trust old people's taste in food!




 * What is that?


 * It's herring surprise.


 * What's the surprise?




 * Come on, it will be fun!


 * No offense, but we don't trust old people's taste in fun, either.




 * Cruiseship!


 * WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!




 * Come on, I even have a present for you!


 * No offense, grandpa Louie, but...




 * What the? How are we supposed to play with this?


 * Like so.


 * I guess you won't want my present, then.


 * Nah... Of course we do.


 * Here you go, guys. A check for being my favorite grandkids!


 * Wow, thanks.


 * Gumball, it's a check! You take it to the bank and you exchange it for money!




 * Sorry!


 * It's OK. That was all I wanted. Spend the money wisely!




 * How much is it for?


 * 5 dollars!


 * Your thumb's in the way.


 * 50 dollars! 500!  5,000!  Eh! Five thousand! Wait! Five thousand dollars!


 * Make it rain! Maybe we should go to the bank and get it cashed.


 * No, let's figure out what to do the with the money first.




 * Are you thinking what I'm thinking?




 * We should spend it on-


 * and : We should spend it on making the world a better place!


 * I was going to say "VEGAS!!!" Now I feel like some sort of... I mean... Yeah. Yours is better.


 * I would use the money to set up a charity.




 * It would start out small...


 * Here, my friend. Take it.




 * Oh, don't be shy. Everyone needs human contact.


 * No! I don't! Money's enough, thanks!




 * And then it would get bigger.




 * For just ninety-nine cents!




 * How ya doing? Feeling comfortable? That's funny. 'Cause a lot of people on this planet aren't. In fact, there's a lot of people who have it really, really bad. How does that make you feel? Are you proud? Are you still feeling good? What is wrong with you?! Give them money! Give us money so we can give it to them!
 * DO IT NOW!!! GET OFF YOUR COUCH AND DO IT!!! DO IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!




 * My charity would get bigger and bigger and it would be called the Coalition of Really Really Useful People Together.


 * First order of business, expanding the charity so we can help as many people as possible. So, how much money have we raised?


 * Well, the TV campaign raised over three million dollars.


 * Hooray!


 * So, after paying for the offices, the media budget and the salaries for our advisers, we're left with twelve dollars and thirty cents to spend on actual charitable deeds.




 * Oh, sorry. Five dollars and twenty-nine cents. Jeff bought donuts.


 * But that's not enough!


 * Yes, but if a charity can't take care of itself, it can't take care of others.


 * But I just wanted to help people.


 * Exactly, so we need to make even more money by diversifying it to other areas such as Toxic Waste Management. We just need you to sign off on that.


 * OK! I don't see a problem with Toxic Waste Management.




 * Uh, does anyone need any help from my charity? Maybe just a hug? Hello?




 * I would use the money to make more money. First, I would invest in portfolio pi risk shares on the stock exchange.


 * and : What?


 * First, I would invest in things and when they do well, I make money.


 * and : What?


 * Listen. Greed minus morals times lack of empathy plus slicked back hair equals ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD!!!


 * and : Oh!


 * Once I have all the money in the world, all I have to do is...


 * : Go to Vegas!


 * No, I have to destroy it all.


 * What? Why?


 * To bring people together.




 * In my money-free world, you won't need a car to go to work  because you won't need to work to pay for material things!  You won't need to wear a suit to pretend you're someone you're not  because everyone will be free to be one with nature.




 * We won't eat meat, we'll never fight, we'll be incapable of hurting anything ever again! It will be paradise!




 * Oh, yeah. Predators.




 * I would use the money to buy a new suit and tie to become president of the world!




 * If you vote for me, I promise you a seven day weekend and state issue mobility scooters. I'll replace the water supply with soda and the sidewalks with conveyor belts AND I'll make pizza delivery the fourth emergency service.




 * Then all I have to do is put it on the Internet.


 * Gumball, have you seen how many videos of fatheads asking to be president? You'd just be another drop of dumbness in the online ocean of idiocy.


 * Do-do-do. Wait until you see my viral trump card!




 * Get's my vote!


 * I don't know what he stands for, but he sure gets my vote!




 * OK, Mr. President. So what are you going to do when everyone's so fat from eating pizza and not walking that they need a grabbing stick to grab their grabbing stick?


 * Everyone will have ROBOT SERVANTS!




 * We've had more reports of robot servants refusing to obey commands.




 * They seem to have developed a wheel of their own and are now violently rebelling against their owners.




 * Scientists are baffled by what people are now calling the Robolution.




 * My fellow Americans, I think we all know where this is going, so let's just skip to the end.




 * Since all our ideas end with the total destruction of humanity, why don't we just split the money?


 * OK! What's 5000 divided by 3?


 * Well, it doesn't divide equally. One of us will have to be a penny short.




 * Well, it can't be me because I deserve to be treated more equally than everyone else!




 * If you are incapable of sharing this money, then I'll take it and spend it on myself to teach you a valuable life lesson.


 * Like your father said, we need this money for more important things.