The Money/Transcript

At Joyful Burger

 * : Look at me. What do you see? I'm still a child. Nothing in my life has been decided yet. I am free. I haven't sold out to a job I hate, I don't have to be part of this dirty rat race that ruined the world chasing money I don't need to buy stuff I don't want, I'm free to make my own choices! So yes, Larry, I will have fries with that.
 * : Sorry, it's just another phase. Last week, he only wanted to eat food he hunted himself.
 * : He broke down when he had to chop the baby carrots.
 * : Are you implying I don't live up to my own beliefs?
 * : Do you know what implying means?
 * : No.
 * : Then yes.
 * : Stop making fun of your brother's principles. He might take it as a challenge and make our lives a nightmare.
 * : So that's three kids' meals, a salad, and forty-seven double cheeseburgers.
 * : Forty-sev...? Richard!
 * : Relax! I asked for Swiss cheese. It's healthier.
 * : What? How?
 * : It's got holes in it.
 * : [sighs] Let's make that one cheeseburger and some carrot sticks.
 * : What?! If you don't feed me properly, how do you expect me to keep my six-pack?
 * : Your what?!
 * : [grabs his belly and squishes it] You'll miss this when it's gone.
 * : That's seventeen bucks, fifteen cents.
 * : Uh-huh.
 * : I'm sorry, the card has been declined. It says "insufficient funds."
 * : I don't understand. There should be money on that card. Where's it all gone?
 * : Hmm... I don't want to point the finger, but... [points at Richard] Dad! What did you do with the money?
 * : Well, I did what all the business sharks do to avoid getting taxed. I transferred it to an off-shore bank account.
 * : Richard, what exactly have you done with my- I'm sorry, our- no, wait, actually, my money?
 * : Like I said, I put it off-shore.
 * : [back in the present] But not before converting it into gold.
 * : Step back! She's gonna severely reprimand him!
 * : Don't worry, kids! I'll calm her down with my irresistible charm!
 * : We're broke.
 * : Wait, we can't afford the water bills now. This is all we got. Drink up.
 * : OK, there might be a less gross solution. We're filming a commercial for Joyful Burger in here later.
 * : So?
 * : So, you guys are the ideal Joyful Burger family.
 * : What do you mean?
 * : Not too attractive, not too intelligent, totally dysfunctional, you guys have got it all! And, you'll get paid.
 * : Where do we sign?
 * : No! We're not gonna let ourselves be reduced to some clichés for a quick corporate buck! We're the Wattersons, and we don't sell out. [holds the contract and makes a sound like burning it with fire]]
 * : What's that?
 * : I symbolically burned it. Because I'm not allowed to use a real lighter.
 * : Wait, are you guys already convinced? I haven't even done my rant about the little fish got together and they... [Gumball catches up with the family, so his dialogue gets quieter]
 * : So, you guys are the ideal Joyful Burger family.
 * : What do you mean?
 * : Not too attractive, not too intelligent, totally dysfunctional, you guys have got it all! And, you'll get paid.
 * : Where do we sign?
 * : No! We're not gonna let ourselves be reduced to some clichés for a quick corporate buck! We're the Wattersons, and we don't sell out. [holds the contract and makes a sound like burning it with fire]]
 * : What's that?
 * : I symbolically burned it. Because I'm not allowed to use a real lighter.
 * : Wait, are you guys already convinced? I haven't even done my rant about the little fish got together and they... [Gumball catches up with the family, so his dialogue gets quieter]
 * : Wait, are you guys already convinced? I haven't even done my rant about the little fish got together and they... [Gumball catches up with the family, so his dialogue gets quieter]

At Home

 * : Now what?
 * : The fridge...!
 * : [looks in the fridge] What? There's nothing in here.
 * : Exactly! Where's all the food?
 * : Gumball, you were the one who wanted us to keep our dignity and not sell out. This is what happens when you can't buy things. You don't have things.
 * : Then why did you all listen to me?!
 * : Because no matter how hard it is for me to admit, you were [gags]... you were [gags again]... Darwin, you tell him. It's making me gag.
 * : What she's trying to say is, you're right. We shouldn't sell out.
 * : [smacks his lips] Funny, I thought victory tasted sweeter.
 * : What does it taste like?
 * : [Shivers] Kinda like hunger.
 * : Look, we might have run out of food, but we've still got each other.
 * : Hey, let's not panic. I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for this. We've just been kidnapped and we're all wearing blindfolds.
 * : Guys, stop! It's because we haven't paid the electric bill. There's no power. We may as well just go to bed.
 * : There you go, all tucked up tight. Good night, kids.
 * , and : Night, mom!
 * : Hey, let's not panic. I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for this. We've just been kidnapped and we're all wearing blindfolds.
 * : Guys, stop! It's because we haven't paid the electric bill. There's no power. We may as well just go to bed.
 * : There you go, all tucked up tight. Good night, kids.
 * , and : Night, mom!
 * : There you go, all tucked up tight. Good night, kids.
 * , and : Night, mom!

Repossession

 * : Mom! What's going on?!
 * : Don't worry, honey. It's just our stuff getting repossessed. BY THESE LOW-LIFE, BOTTOM-FEEDING, UNDER-EDUCATED, UNHYGIENIC, SLIMY, NO-NECK, TOXIC, TRIPLE-CHINNED, OXYGEN-WASTING, CRUDE, GUTLESS, FOUL-SMELLING, BUCK-TOOTHED, CORRUPT, FELONIOUS, DISGRACEFUL, DISEASE-RIDDEN, BULL-LEGGED, YELLOW-BELLY, BACK-STABBING, GHOULISH, VULGAR, DESPICABLE, WORM-HEADED, WORTHLESS STAINS!!!
 * : [Enraged by Nicole's insult and prepared to fight her, but suddenly cowers into an emotional wreck] I'm only doing my job! Why are you so mean?! [runs away crying]
 * : Mom, what are you doing?
 * : Probably going too far.
 * : That TV's broken.
 * : Is it?
 * : It is now.
 * : [Gulps] Ma'am?
 * : [in deep voice] WHAAAT?!
 * : I've been sent to repossess your car.
 * : Hey, I've got a hundred bucks for the car!
 * : [suddenly reverts back to normal form] Only a hundred? But that car was worth far more than that!
 * : Well, you know how things depreciate in value.
 * : Richard, how much could it have depreciated in the time it took to drive from here to the car dealer?
 * : Well, I found a dollar in the glove compartment, so I went to that new drive-thru convenience store.
 * : The convenience store isn't a drive-thru.
 * : Heh! It is now. Anyways, this is all I could get for it at the junkyard.
 * : Richard, how much could it have depreciated in the time it took to drive from here to the car dealer?
 * : Well, I found a dollar in the glove compartment, so I went to that new drive-thru convenience store.
 * : The convenience store isn't a drive-thru.
 * : Heh! It is now. Anyways, this is all I could get for it at the junkyard.
 * : Heh! It is now. Anyways, this is all I could get for it at the junkyard.

Times Are Hard

 * : Look, guys. I get it. Times are hard. But we have something that they can never take away from us. The dishwasher! We could sell it and-
 * : They took that.
 * : What? How? The whole thing was built in! OK... how about... [gasps, then talks in a high-pitched voice] Our imaginations! [normal voice] Can they take that?
 * : Then what's to stop us from sitting on our imaginary sofa? [pretends to sit on a couch] Or drinking an imaginary soda? [pretends like he's opening a can of soda and drinking it] Can you taste it? [starts singing] It's sweeter than the most expensive polar!
 * : Just imaginate along with me and I'll imaginate with you! Imaginate the things you want and we'll imaginate them true!
 * : Just imaginate a private jet that comes with its very own private crew or imaginate your favorite pet and it's a pony just for you.
 * : [spoken] Gumball, "imaginate" is not a word.
 * : Imaginate a swimming pool full of hundred dollar bills! Imaginate a mansion too, up in the Hollywood hills! Just imaginate cosmetic surgery to make you look 18! [Nicole looks surprised, Then turns back to angry] Imaginate a butler who will treat you like the Queen of England!
 * : [spoken] "Imaginate" is still not a word.
 * : [Mainly to Nicole] Just dream with me.
 * : I imaginate a ninja kicks your butt! [Gumball gets beaten, gains black eyes]
 * : We imaginate you're tasered in the gut! [Gumball gets "shocked" twice]
 * : I imaginate your head is full of pus! [Gumball head swells, eyes become red]
 * : And I imaginate you get hit by a bus! [Gumball gets "run over"]
 * : [spoken] Darn it! I said "imaginate".
 * : OK, OK, I get the message. But you did all agree we shouldn't sell out.
 * : You know, Gumball, advertising is not necessarily selling out. It can be done in a discreet and tasteful manner. [A drink from Joyful Burger suddenly appears in Darwin's hand. He drinks it, then winks at the viewer]
 * : What? Who are you talking to?
 * : I think what Darwin is trying to say is that advertising doesn't need to feel forced to fate. It can be done in a subtle and natural way. [Anais hops to the side of the screen, revealing a Joyful Burger poster behind her]
 * : [muffled] Just because you take their money doesn't mean you're a corporate puppet with no voice of your own.
 * : [takes a piece of tape off of over Richard's mouth] Look, whatever it is you're trying to say, it's not gonna work.
 * : How about we do it in another country? Nobody will ever know.
 * : Joifuru Baagaa, daisuki! Sugoi, tabete, tabete tabete! Joifuru Baagaa, daisuki!  [Nicole strikes a pose]
 * : No?
 * : Come on, guys! We have to keep our credibility! It's all we have left! There's nothing else we can lose!
 * : Well, we lost everything, but hey! At least we stayed true to ourselves. We're still the Wattersons.
 * ,, and : What's going on?
 * : I guess it's like what people say! Without money, you're nothing.
 * : Yeah, literally. [as she says this, her mouth starts shaking]
 * : What's wrong with your mouth?
 * : I don't know! What's wrong with his face?
 * : [in different voice] Ahh! What are we going to do?!
 * : Ahh! Actually, I think it's way worse than that. When you don't have money, your whole world falls apart!
 * : Ahh!
 * : OK, the time for principle is over. We're going to Joyful Burger and we're going to do that ad.
 * : What's wrong with your mouth?
 * : I don't know! What's wrong with his face?
 * : [in different voice] Ahh! What are we going to do?!
 * : Ahh! Actually, I think it's way worse than that. When you don't have money, your whole world falls apart!
 * : Ahh!
 * : OK, the time for principle is over. We're going to Joyful Burger and we're going to do that ad.
 * : Ahh!
 * : OK, the time for principle is over. We're going to Joyful Burger and we're going to do that ad.

Getting to Joyful Burger

 * : Come on, we're not gonna make it in ti-ME!
 * : [mouth not moving] How do we get there? And how am I saying this?
 * : Let's take the bus!
 * : Rocky! We need to get to the mall so we can sell out and make a load of cash!
 * : Oh, sure. No probs- [Rocky starts to glitch out before he can finish his sentence]
 * : Arrrgh!!!
 * : ROAD HOGS!!!
 * : We need to get out of here!
 * : We got to sign that contract before there is nothing left of Elmore!!!!!
 * : We're....almost....there!!!!
 * : Are you sure? Cos' it doesn't look like were moving.
 * : AAARGH! Too faaast!!!
 * : Where's Joyful Burger?!
 * : It's that way! [points in a direction]
 * : Err.. it's over there. [sticks her thumb in the opposite direction]
 * : [her arm gets erased] AAAAAAAHHH!!!! [only for it to be drawn back pointing in the right direction] Oh. I meant that way.
 * : We'll do the commercial!
 * : [In another voice with Australian accent] Then hurry up, before it's too late!
 * : Quick, Gumball!
 * : Come on, sign it!
 * : Wait. Are we really going to become clichés of ourselves just to sell a few burgers? Isn't there a way to survive in this world without selling out? Not everything has a price! Some things are more precious than money! Like dignity! Freedom! Love! Sorry Larry, but you could have all the money in the world and you still couldn't afford the Wattersons!
 * : [Normal voice] Mm-hmm... This is what they're paying.
 * : It's that way! [points in a direction]
 * : Err.. it's over there. [sticks her thumb in the opposite direction]
 * : [her arm gets erased] AAAAAAAHHH!!!! [only for it to be drawn back pointing in the right direction] Oh. I meant that way.
 * : We'll do the commercial!
 * : [In another voice with Australian accent] Then hurry up, before it's too late!
 * : Quick, Gumball!
 * : Come on, sign it!
 * : Wait. Are we really going to become clichés of ourselves just to sell a few burgers? Isn't there a way to survive in this world without selling out? Not everything has a price! Some things are more precious than money! Like dignity! Freedom! Love! Sorry Larry, but you could have all the money in the world and you still couldn't afford the Wattersons!
 * : [Normal voice] Mm-hmm... This is what they're paying.
 * : Wait. Are we really going to become clichés of ourselves just to sell a few burgers? Isn't there a way to survive in this world without selling out? Not everything has a price! Some things are more precious than money! Like dignity! Freedom! Love! Sorry Larry, but you could have all the money in the world and you still couldn't afford the Wattersons!
 * : [Normal voice] Mm-hmm... This is what they're paying.
 * : [Normal voice] Mm-hmm... This is what they're paying.

The Commercial

 * : Mom, I got an "F" in math!
 * : But... why?
 * : Dad ate my homework! Again!
 * : But Anais said it had pie in it!
 * : Dad! I meant pi! As in math! You know, 3.14159...
 * : Alright, alright! You know what I think we need?
 * : ♪Some days you wanna take it easy and free, with some country goodness for your family! Kick on back and smile for a while, have a Joyful Burger, do it in style!♪
 * : Finally, a place I can call home! Thank you Joyful Burger!
 * : Finally, a place I can call home! Thank you Joyful Burger!
 * : Finally, a place I can call home! Thank you Joyful Burger!