The Refund/Transcript

Episode Starts

 * Look, Darwin. We waited more than seven months for this.
 * I know. We waited so long for this, I have time to grow hair.
 * Huh?
 * Whoa, may I touch it?
 * You may.
 * Nice.
 * Thanks. C'mon put the game on!
 * C'mon, c'mon, oh, there you are. There's something wrong with it.
 * TRY PUTTING THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
 * C'MON! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FRANTICALLY FLIPPING MY FLIPPERS!
 * What does that suppose to mean?
 * IT MEANS PUT THE GAME ON!!
 * I CAN'T, IT'S NOT WORKING!
 * I think we got stiffed.
 * IT MEANS PUT THE GAME ON!!
 * I CAN'T, IT'S NOT WORKING!
 * I think we got stiffed.
 * I think we got stiffed.

At Ripley 2000

 * I'm sorry kids but it's store policy. I can't give you a refund.
 * What?! You have to, we asked you a ton of question before we bought it, remember?
 * What's bigger: a lion or a tiger?
 * A tiger
 * Why is the sky blue?
 * Refraction of light through nitrogen.
 * Can anything escape a black hole?
 * Not unless it's a super heat quasar.
 * What is two thousand three hundred and fifty times thirty five?
 * Two million thirty four thousand three hundred and twenty.
 * If you know all these stuff how come you are a store clerk?
 * Look do you want the game or not?
 * We'll take it
 * Actually, you never asked me anything about the game.
 * Hmm, you're right But whatever, you have to give us a refund!! It's been less than twenty four hours.
 * Look, guys, if it was up to me I'd totally give you a refund, but the manager wouldn't allow it.  Hehehe I'm sorry, but thats the way it is. Thank you for shopping at Ripley 2000.
 * This is not the end of it, Larry Needlemeyer. Mark my words: WE WILL GET A REFUND!
 * Hi, Larry. Can we get a refund, please?
 * Get outta here!
 * [says quietly] Ripley 2000. [says shouting] MORE LIKE RIP-OFF 2000
 * Why's it called 2000, anyways? It's not like its the future anymore.
 * Hi. Yes, Mr. Manager. No, Sir, I simply didn't give a refund to those kids. Yes, I brought your clothes to the dry cleaners and walked your dogs. Actually the big one bit me. Oh, yes! He can be playful. This is why I was seven minutes late. Oh, yes, Mr. Manager, Sir, it was entirely my fault. It wont happen again Sir! Have a nice...  Ohh
 * This is the police! You're surrounded! Put your hands where i can see them!
 * Now put your hands in the cash register and take out 20 dollars!
 * Now swap them for this computer game!
 * Hey! What kinda police are you?!
 * The... super real police, sir! Refund department... of... justice!
 * Nice try kids!
 * DARN!
 * Look, kids, I'm not gonna give you a refund.
 * We're not here to ask you for a refund! We just want you to look at my new shiny watch
 * It's kinda hard when you swing it like thaaaaaat
 * Did it work? Is he hyptonized?
 * Let's test it! Ok! You're the world's most amazing dancer.
 * Ok, now, now you're a ostrich!
 * No! A gorilla!
 * No, a gorilla ostrich!
 * Now, you have roller skates on!
 * Now, your butt's on fire!
 * And... now your a store clerk giving us a refund?
 * Sorry, it's against store policy.
 * Now, your butt's on fire again
 * Ahhhhhhhh!
 * Oh, come on, I told you, no refund!
 * Oh, no, no, no, no, we're not here to ask for a refund, we just want 2 minutes of your time.
 * Every year, hundreds of kids buy faulty computer games and dont get refunds. This is Jimmy  Jimmy really needed a refund, but the store manager wouldn't give it to him.
 * I don't care, Jimmy. It's store policy.
 * Jimmy's life is now very bad... And now he lives in a shoe box.  What's that Jimmy? Yes, yes, Jimmy.  I know you're sad lonely.
 * Refund the world, refund it sooner.
 * Uphold the rights that little Jimmy has as a consumer.
 * Now he's living in a box.
 * He's a victim of deceit
 * and : And even though he still has the receipt
 * Poor Jimmy, I had no idea it was such a big problem Is there anything I can do?
 * Well, you can look into your heart and.
 * and : GIVE US A REFUND?
 * I'm sorry but no.
 * Then, you leave us no choice. I'm gonna slap myself and Darwin's gonna hold his breath until you do something. This is on you, Larry.  Aw, you can just stop this suffering with one word.
 * Please, stop, okay, maybe I can... I'm sorry, but no means "no"
 * Oh, no, no, no, no, we're not here to ask for a refund, we just want 2 minutes of your time.
 * Every year, hundreds of kids buy faulty computer games and dont get refunds. This is Jimmy  Jimmy really needed a refund, but the store manager wouldn't give it to him.
 * I don't care, Jimmy. It's store policy.
 * Jimmy's life is now very bad... And now he lives in a shoe box.  What's that Jimmy? Yes, yes, Jimmy.  I know you're sad lonely.
 * Refund the world, refund it sooner.
 * Uphold the rights that little Jimmy has as a consumer.
 * Now he's living in a box.
 * He's a victim of deceit
 * and : And even though he still has the receipt
 * Poor Jimmy, I had no idea it was such a big problem Is there anything I can do?
 * Well, you can look into your heart and.
 * and : GIVE US A REFUND?
 * I'm sorry but no.
 * Then, you leave us no choice. I'm gonna slap myself and Darwin's gonna hold his breath until you do something. This is on you, Larry.  Aw, you can just stop this suffering with one word.
 * Please, stop, okay, maybe I can... I'm sorry, but no means "no"
 * Please, stop, okay, maybe I can... I'm sorry, but no means "no"

At Home

 * Hey kids, whats up?
 * We couldn't get a refund and now were really cheesed off!
 * Watch your language young man, cheese is not to be invoked in vain in this house, but if it's a refund you're after you've came to the right place-person-man-rabbit.
 * Really, lets go there right now.
 * But wait if you're gonna do something, you've gotta do it right.
 * Now how do I look?
 * Actually, you look like your wedding picture.
 * Perfect, now hand me that game.
 * Actually, you look like your wedding picture.
 * Perfect, now hand me that game.

Back at Ripley 2000

 * What do you want from me you nut-burger?
 * Oh, you know what we want!
 * We want what's right that we argued. We brought our dad!
 * Exactly!
 * For the last time I CAN'T..
 * I wish to speak to your manager.
 * You don't realize he's a vile, cruel BEAST! Sorry, no refunds!
 * Shh. Tsk tsk tsk. Ok, here's what gonna happen, I'm gonna return this game, and get a refund. Look, I am putting the game on the counter.
 * But!?
 * Easy, easy pal. Now, I'm opening the register.
 * No no no, sir sir sir, I wouldn't do that if I were you!
 * Well lucky for me I'm not you. So now I'm going to take what you owe us. See my hand, I slowly, slowly...
 * Wait isn't that like stealing?
 * You don't understand, you can't take money out of the register, you can only put it in!
 * Nooooooo! We are doomed!
 * Ahh! What's going on?
 * He's coming!
 * Who's coming?
 * The manager!
 * I put it back! I put it back! I put it back!! Ahhhhhh, Please, don't hurt me!  It's not my fault, it's their fault!
 * WHAT!? When you said that you get us a refund we didn't expect you to steal from the register!
 * You do not believe why I can't be trusted!
 * WHAT!? When you said that you get us a refund we didn't expect you to steal from the register!
 * You do not believe why I can't be trusted!