Board Thread:News and Announcements/@comment-28011993-20160705203412/@comment-5961377-20171007101544

Chan. I'm sorry to say this, but someone has to.

If you're asking for forgiveness only because you feel obliged or forced, you're doing it wrong.

If you're asking for forgiveness because you feel guilty or bad, and not because you want to make things right with the people you've hurt, you're doing it wrong.

If you're asking for forgiveness yet refuse to make the effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart—every wish to humiliate or hurt them or to pay them out—you're doing it wrong.

Why do I say this? Because you've strayed from "I'm sorry" to this grandstanding and frankly, borderline ostentatious guilt trip where it seems like you are the one who was wronged and you are the one who refuses to forgive until you finally get the acknowledgment you want.

It's your turn to forgive, Chan. I say this even though you have absolutely no right to be angry or bitter or resentful over this. You've simply turned the tables, and shown yourself incapable of the very thing you're demanding of the others. Why else would you keep dragging this out and bringing attention back to the "fact that [you] went out of [your] way to make an [apology] thread?"

I'm not saying the others aren't wrong for not forgiving you--they are, and they know it too--but this not how apologies work, Chan. You don't keep a record. You don't bring the focus to yourself by saying "I didn't have to do this, but I did, so why aren't you forgiving me?"

I suggest you try to contact the people you have a problem with. Privately this time. Not some big public thread, lest we have another repeat.

And with that, I will now lock this.