Thread:WaterDemonBaku/@comment-4423426-20160229200202/@comment-4423426-20160302183233

I  checked the Wiki on a College PC today just to see if my thread got any replies, and well-- I then saw this. Wasn't really going to answer messages during the break, but I feel this is very important and if I don't act fast enough, it's going to fester in people's minds and conclusions will be drawn. This has happened in the past too, so I'll reply to this to prevent that from happening again, but I don't know if I'll continue after this. Probably not healthy for me to still check Wiki Activity, but I've gotten too used to that.

No, it's quite the opposite actually. I'M the one who should be apologizing, and this thread is me doing exactly that. No apologies really needed. I appreciate how you pmed me that one time, and it's totally fine. If anything, pming me about it showed me you actually did see how it made me feel, and it would be so easy for anyone to just ignore how that person felt and carried on, but you showed empathy for me and I really appreciate it. It's important I lay down what exactly happened in chat, because that thing I said to Cici about Water, and your relationship are two different things. I really don't want to trap myself in a chat-style debate here, so I'll try to word this the right way: The things I said to Cici about Water were more to do with sex talk debate, and I'm not getting into the reasons as to why because again-- I'd rather not create a chat-style debate on this thread right here. What happened was, the others were discussing Discord. Water said he never went on it, because of some of the sorts of messages that appeared, and then he made mention of that one joke I said about you two, and the Honey Monster. The context to that joke is very important. You yourself, John kept stating that you kept getting notified for Discord text to speech commands, and so in that very moment I thought it'd be funny to do that. You thought it was funny, and I remember that very clearly, but Water was on the fence about those types of jokes. Which I understand, because in the past Water has stated he's unsure about those types of jokes. However, also in the past I have made those jokes and you and Water have found them funny. Water has even made similiar ones about Cici, and I in turn found them funny. I knew it came across as Star VHS but John-- you knew what I was going for. You knew because we're comfortable as friends and I actually got to know you two, it was not intended malliciously and I was actually laughing with you, not at you. In VHS' case-- he never got to know the users as well and you could never really tell. The reason these two things are seperate, is because me trying to tell Water this, and even mentioning you liked the joke, resulted in him bringing up something Cici had told him. Something I had said in temporary anger, and I want to reveal the reasons but I feel that will cause a debate here too, so I'll just say this: It was to do with the ongoing sex talk debate, and it was to do with me being annoyed that often when he'd do that, it'd prompt the arguements to start for hours. I feel that too will cause a chat style debate here, but that's important because after that was said, the whole debate about Discord was still continuing. It became a mixture of two debates, and one was a sub-debate. You joined during this sub-debate, so I understand why you'd feel it was to do with you, but I assure you it wasn't. I reached out to Water in PM a few months ago, because he's often stated in chat that people should PM him if he ends up doing anything that bothers them, because he's not sure how to pick up on it. So that's what I did, and it went well. You pmed me too and it's been fine. My rant with Stick in PM happened before that IIRC, and yeah-- I shouldn't have done that either, but I never at any point said I approve of Stick doing that in main chat, and causing an issue with it, and he wasn't tactful about it, and just went all-out. I feel like that's often forgotten and that my side of it(geniunely being depressed more than annoyed at times) has been lost, because of how out of control that chat session actually went. As for  what you do in chat nowadays? Well, actually to tell you the truth recently I've seen "ily" statements and they don't depress me as much. My issue was more to do with how often and promoted it was. How often you'd do the glomping, that emote I can't describe and random "holds you" statements. When I mentioned preferring that in PM, I didn't mean you should bar off talking to eachother in chat altogether. In fact, I've noticed over the past few months you two have communicated fine as normal, and there is no need to feel worried about limited communication. As a matter of fact, Cici and I usually talk in chat and in PM but in chat we talk as normal, and  it works well. I just can't fathom why it's necessary to have to do that in public. Of course you're madly in love with one another, but I feel it's because you want to show everyone else that, and I can understand but I only asked as a friend. I never flat-out forced you not to, and taking this very break is 1: Unrelated to you two, and you two have been fine as of late. No issues with relationship talk. 2: More so about how polluted the chat has been with relationship stuff, and even when it's not flat-out two couples on there, I've been pmed by people who have literally made relationship things my deal, by asking for love advice for users here, and I've helped and I felt bad ignoring them, but in the long-run, that has actually made me even more depressed, and the fact people have literally gone up to me and decided to share that stuff, makes me even more convinced the chat has just been more relationship centric than ever, since Cici and I first started dating. I often ask myself "What have I done?" This used to be a place I would treat as escapism, and I'd even vent about my love troubles for years there, but now it's slowly becoming more like what plagues my real-life. Also, College definetely factors in. So far I have been late for a consecutive 2 days, and this break has shown noticeable improvement in that field. The reason I need to take a break the most is because I felt this relationship stuff in chat would often affect how I felt with Cici. They didn't start that off, but small blunders like that consistently destroy my happiness and enthusiasm with her, and I have made it known to her so I am fully aware of what I'm typing here. This is nothing I haven't discussed with her, and we're even taking a break from eachother now, and we'll resume dating either next week or if I need more time, I'll just let her know. If the relationship stuff on chat has actually started to affect my state of mind, and made me depressed and prone to thinking of it a lot, then that is definetely a sign something should be done and that's why I took this break. Chat arguements happen and that I've gotten used to. I'm not saying those don't factor in, but it's just a string of arguements that will end eventually. My point is-- with those I only feel depressed for like a few hours at best. Relationships on chat are different-- I think about them way more than I should and that is especially prevalent when I talk to Cici, and she can sense that. It knocks down my enthusiasm. My happiness was fine for a while, but because of what happened with Cici telling Water that, we nearly broke up and that's why we're taking a break because my happiness faded away. It can be regained when I get back together with hert, but this break will test that.

I hope that clears things up. I don't have anything against you as a couple and you two aren't the reason I quit chat. It's a mixture of things,  with College being a nice bonus to leaving, and it's more of a test to see if my life is any different outside of the chat.