Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-4614364-20151203045607/@comment-5961377-20151206041845

Destiny of Awe wrote: I've even asked you to stop face to face, in chat. It was only you, me and Water in chat that day, surely you remember.

I remember that. Dang, November flew by fast, that felt like only a few weeks ago.

Like I said, I would have preferred a formal warning. I didn't have a full grasp of the severity of the situation; I didn't know it affected you guys that badly. I thought you guys were just intentionally interpreting what I say in negative ways despite me saying they had no relevance towards you. I reiterate for clarity, I have never explicitly threatened anyone, nor do I plan to. My thoughts that day were focused on your parting words. I really appreciated your concern there. Thank you. It made me think "maybe they do care."

As for my attempt at fixing myself, it doesn't really go well because it's just me against myself. The disrespect and insults thrown my way don't really help.

Klonoamiyumi wrote: Remember yesterday when Star VHS said: "This suddenly became depressing" after you did your usual quoting stuff? That's what I've been trying to convey to you for a while. I feel like that stuff you do is really dragging chat down, and it definetely drags me down-- that's for sure. First, I said that "f lovers" thing when the song came on during our first ever music stream. good times...

I've helped both you and Cici throughout your relationship. Why would I then want to do that to you?

Second, I wasn't quoting anything yesterday. That was directly from me. I've never felt more alone than ever. I'm so sorry to say, but you guys are really good at what Blue mentioned. Making people feel like some type of useless piece of depressing trash.

What have you noticed whenever someone else acts like that?

I comfort them, I console them, I talk to them, I try and let them know that someone cares. Let them know that they're not alone. Let them know that I'll be there for them. Let them know that they're loved. Generally just trying to uplift them.

No offense, but I've never been able to count on any of you for comfort. You've all just confirmed and accentuated my bondage to melancholy. Despair clothes the mind in sable. Only a handful have even just given me some encouraging words. Even less have tried to uplift me.

I guess I just wanted that. To be encouraged. Pardon me for deviating off the topic at hand, but I wanted you to know that.