The Tape/Transcript

Introducing the Film



 * Hi, my name is azzaz-um...


 * Hi, my name is Warwin Datterson. UGH! Hi, my name's Darwin Watterson, and this flim, and this fil, flim, AHH... CURSE WORD!  Hi, my name is Darwin Watterson, and this Darwin's about... Uh...


 * Oh, come on dude! How hard can this be!?




 * Oh hi! Mmm...




 * Ok, 1, 2, 3. Hi, my name is Marmin Towerson, and this is a film about the thing that, when the people do the...and then, then they do that, and it's about the film where we show who it is..


 * Again, from the top.






 * YES! YES! FINALLY! NAILED IT!




 * Wait, is the light supposed to be on, when it's recording or..?



The Cast



 * This is my school, Elmore Junior High! And this is the story of my life!
 * Starring....The Wattersons as, The Wattersons!
 * Tobias Wilson as Tobias!
 * Nigel Brown as The Principal.
 * Hector Jötunheim as Hector.
 * Carrie Krueger as Carrie.
 * This guy... as... this guy!
 * And introducing all my other friends in....The Amazing World of--! Ugh. Forget it, who's gonna watch that.
 * Hector Jötunheim as Hector.
 * Carrie Krueger as Carrie.
 * This guy... as... this guy!
 * And introducing all my other friends in....The Amazing World of--! Ugh. Forget it, who's gonna watch that.
 * This guy... as... this guy!
 * And introducing all my other friends in....The Amazing World of--! Ugh. Forget it, who's gonna watch that.
 * And introducing all my other friends in....The Amazing World of--! Ugh. Forget it, who's gonna watch that.

Moobus Gelatinous vs. Kickbuttus Hystericus

 * ​:  And here we are, in the natural habitat, of the Moobus Gelatinous spending today, as he does everyday, sheltering himself, from responsibility.  But what's this?
 * ​:  And here we are, in the natural habitat, of the Moobus Gelatinous spending today, as he does everyday, sheltering himself, from responsibility.  But what's this?




 * It seems a nearby Kickbuttus Hystericus is returning from a successful hunt.




 * The Moobus, will be keen to scavange. It is essential he evades discovery. He knows that despite his size, he's no match for the physical prowess of the elegant Kickbuttus.




 * He's not here for the small pickings, he knows that it may be up to an hour before he is allowed to eat again. His timing, must be perfect, so he waits...and he strikes!




 * The Kickbuttus will give chase.


 * Get back here, Richard!




 * Things are looking bad for the Moobus. However, nature gave him a silent, but deadly defense mechanism that triggers itself when he feels threatened.




 * Ew, Richard!


 * The Moobus seizes his chance and retreats to his den.




 * Richard, come back here!


 * The Kickbuttus defends her territory, but in doing so, commits another mistake.




 * In this ruthless ecosystem, an unguarded kill is quickly claimed by the vultures.

The Screamer



 * Okay, prepare yourself. 3-D without glasses. What I want you to do is just focus on my eyes until your vision adjusts. Now, it takes a little time, and you might need to get a little closer to the screen. The best distance is normally about 3 inches. Now keep watching until the 3-D effect kicks in.  Keep looking... Almost there... almost... there we--




 * Hahaha!

Ocho's Secret Code



 * Why are we hiding?!


 * Shhh! Just look at him!




 * What is he doing? It looks like he's got worms.


 * B, A.




 * Wait up! I'm gonna get some too.




 * You may now start your tests.


 * Zoom in! Zoom in! I need to see how he does this!


 * B, A!


 * Duuude... he's using cheat codes in real life.




 * I need to learn that code, man! Look! He's doing it again!!


 * B, A!






 * Alright dude, film this! Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A!


 * What is this cheat for?


 * It's for-- Dididiiii-- Yegh ugh ugh!-- Call an am!-- Call an ambuleeeee!!--

How to Be as Cool as Tobias



 * Hi, I'm Tobias Wilson, and a lot of people ask me, "Can you teach me to be as cool as you?" And I say, "No, you'll never be as cool as me."  But I can teach you to be cooler than you,  and maybe you'll be a hit with the ladies like me.




 * What up sunSHINE--




 * BOOOYAH!! If you wanna get dates.. you gotta pump weights, 'cause girls can't deny.. a guy who's this fly. So let's get some muscles and score some girls.. from-- ...like brussels!... er- ..something... let's do this!






 * Yeah!! That's what I'm talkin' about!




 * If there's one thing girls love, it's cash. So you gotta make it rain.


 * That's right.


 * Aww.. I chipped my tooth!




 * Now I've got the look, and the flip, all I need is the lady.




 * Ahem Hey beautiful. You have a quarter? 'Cause I told my mom I'd call her when I fell in love.


 * Umm... no, sorry, I don't, but... you can use my cell.




 * Mph.  Hey.. Mom.. ughhh.. could you come pick me up early today.. 'cause uh..  I'm kind of embarrassed.  Thanks.


 * No worries.


 * Ahh,, see ya later.




 * Tobias! Where are you guys dude! Tobias! Aww, come on!

Commercial Break



 * and : Doodoodoodoodoo, commercial break!




 * People always ask me, how do you look so horrible? Is it natural? Well... here's my secret.




 * Creme de Huaah!




 * With active ingredients including fridge mold and ham sweat, this pimple inducing formula is guaranteed to keep your skin oily and rank.




 * Creme de Huaah! For him, and for huaah!

Baby Anais



 * and : It's Baby Anais, the living baby doll!




 * She likes to eat her cookie!


 * and : It's Baby Anais, the living baby doll!




 * She likes to drink milk! She's really drinking it!






 * and : It's Baby Anais, the living bab-


 * OW!


 * Oh forget it, man. Let's try something else.


 * No, no, no! This gave me an idea.

Anai-hilator



 * It's the Anai-hilator!


 * With realistic kung-fu karate-chop action, she can break anything with her tiny haaand!


 * Nothing can resist her!




 * Cars!


 * Tree!


 * Bricks!


 * Houses!


 * Her own face!




 * and : It's the Anai-hilator!




 * and : Doodoodoodoodoo, commercial break!

Cute Battle

 * Come on, hurt yourself!


 * What? Why?


 * 'Cause that's what people want, man!




 * Alright.. then uh.. look.. cute! People like to laugh at people who get hurt, and cute pets!


 * Ugh... Alright.


 * You call that cute?


 * What? You think you can do better?


 * I'll show you cute.


 * Alright. If that's what you want. CUTE COMBO ATTACK!!




 * The cuteness!! It's... too much...


 * Augh, this is stupid! We've got a chance here to do something that matters, and we're just trying to please the masses!


 * Then what would you do?


 * I'll show you.

Life



 * Life. People.


 * And only one question to drive it; Why?  We look out into space for an answer, but just find spheres orbiting spheres.  We look inside ourselves for an answer, but just find spheres orbiting spheres.




 * Coincidence? Think about it. Look at this peanut. Doesn't it look a lot like an 8?  And look. Turn it a little, and what do you get?   INFINITY.. Infinity.. infinity. Are we here by nature, mathematics, or--  AHH!


 * IT'S THE ANAI-HILATOR!!

Ninja George II



 * Ninja George.. 2


 * Ninja George!


 * Yes Colonel?


 * You have to help us defeat evil once again!


 * I can't. I promised I would never raise my fists again.


 * But Ninja George! Dr. Downer has captured your sister, Ninja Georgina!


 * Alright then. But first I need to train.




 * Now I'm ready!


 * {{d|event|Darwin throws an orange and Gumball immediately puts his hand out to block the attack.


 * Yes, you are.


 * {{d|event|Cut to a cardboard model of the earth, a sky, and a Gumball puppet traveling on the earth}}


 * {{d|event|voice-over}} Ninja George traveled far and wide, but it was full of dangers. On the way he met a giant, so he had to defeat it {{d|event|Gumball's cardboard model attacks a giant's cardboard model}} And then he met a dragon, so he had to defeat it. {{d|event|Gumball's cardboard model attacks a dragon's cardboard model}} And then he met a beautiful woman, who he fell in love with, but he wasn't emotionally ready, so he had to defeat her.


 * {{d|event|voice-over, Gumball's cardboard model attacks the woman}} I'm sorry it's not you it's me.


 * {{d|event|voice-over}} And then he arrived at the evil temple of Dr. Downer.


 * {{d|event|Cut back to real Gumball and Darwin}}


 * Give me back my sister!


 * {{d|event|with robot helmet}} Dun dun DUNNN!! {{d|event|removes helmet}}


 * {{d|event|gasp and points}} Colonel! It was you all along?!


 * {{d|Darwin}}: Yes! I tricked you into coming her to defeat you!


 * But why didn't you attack me before my training?!


 * {{d|Darwin}}: Uhhh...


 * {{d|Darwin}}: Let's fight!


 * {{d|Gumball}}: Ay ya ya! {{d|event|punching in front of himself}}


 * {{d|Darwin}}: {{d|event|kicking in front of himself}} Huh! Huh! Huh! {{d|event|accidentally kicks Gumball's cheek. Silence. Gumball starts to sniff, touches cheek and starts to cry}}


 * {{d|Darwin}}: No no no no no! Please don't cry! Please! You don't hav- when you cry, I cry. {{d|event|starts crying}} What are we gonna do? We're supposed to jump through a window in the next scene!


 * {{d|Gumball}}: We need another ending.

Ending



 * I'm sorry I made you feel like the 2nd best ninja in the world Dr. Downer.


 * No, Ninja George. It's me who's sorry for being such a prissy little jerk and captured your sister.




 * I think we both learned that expressing our feelings is way better than a fight to the death.


 * and : Yaaay! Mega happy ending!


 * Now alright, how do you eject the tape?


 * It's the red button!


 * You sure? I thought the red button was to record.


 * Nah, it's definitely eject.


 * Alright! Aw man I can't wait to see this!