The Bros/Transcript

School Bus, On The Way Home

 * : What's your best dance move?
 * : What's yours?
 * : Cassock dance, but there's a problem with it.
 * : What?
 * : My torso's too short.
 * : What's your best face?
 * : What's yours?
 * : Thanks!
 * : And what's your best party trick?
 * : Oh, by the way. There's something very personal I wanted to ask you. If you had to do something really, really special for someone really, really important, what would be the best place ever?
 * : [Inhales deeply] It would be a log cabin.
 * : Yes! By a blue lake.
 * : And there would be fireflies!
 * : And mason jars!
 * : What else?
 * : A fireplace!
 * : A bearskin rug!
 * : A chocolate fountain!
 * : And R&B music!
 * : So, who would you invite?
 * : Never you mind!
 * : Oh come on! Tell me!
 * : No, you first!
 * : Oh fine. But you gotta say yours at the same time. On three. One. Two. Three. Penny!
 * : You!
 * and : WHAT!?
 * : I AM NOT MAKING A SCENE!
 * : Okay.
 * : AND I'M NOT JEALOUS OF PENNY!
 * : Dude, don't freak out. There's enough space in my life for the both of you.
 * : She's crowding us!
 * : She's suffocating us!
 * : She's oppressing us!
 * : She's smothering us!
 * : Okay, enough! I wanted your opinion on something important, but if it's gonna be like this then just go home! I need to go to the store anyway.
 * : BACK OFF PENNY FITZGERALD! HE'S MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!
 * and : WHAT!?
 * : I AM NOT MAKING A SCENE!
 * : Okay.
 * : AND I'M NOT JEALOUS OF PENNY!
 * : Dude, don't freak out. There's enough space in my life for the both of you.
 * : She's crowding us!
 * : She's suffocating us!
 * : She's oppressing us!
 * : She's smothering us!
 * : Okay, enough! I wanted your opinion on something important, but if it's gonna be like this then just go home! I need to go to the store anyway.
 * : BACK OFF PENNY FITZGERALD! HE'S MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!
 * : Okay, enough! I wanted your opinion on something important, but if it's gonna be like this then just go home! I need to go to the store anyway.
 * : BACK OFF PENNY FITZGERALD! HE'S MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!
 * : BACK OFF PENNY FITZGERALD! HE'S MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!
 * : BACK OFF PENNY FITZGERALD! HE'S MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!

Stalking Penny

 * : Hm?
 * : [Whispering] I'm gonna dig some dirt on you, and expose you as the treacherous bro thief you are!
 * : Oh, hi Darwin.
 * : [Screams]
 * : Bye…Darwin?
 * : Oh, hi Darwin.
 * : [Screams]
 * : Bye…Darwin?
 * : Bye…Darwin?

In The Cheerleaders' Room

 * : …made these funny faces at me through the window of the bus and-oh, hi Darwin.
 * : [Coughs] Bye Darwin.
 * : [Coughs] Bye Darwin.
 * : [Coughs] Bye Darwin.

In The Schoolyard

 * : Here Sussie. I know how much you love chicken skin, so I saved some from last night's dinner.
 * : Sussie LOVES chicken skin!
 * : Hi Darwin.
 * : And…bye Darwin..
 * : CHICKENS!
 * : [Yelps in surprise]
 * : And…bye Darwin..
 * : CHICKENS!
 * : [Yelps in surprise]

In The Classroom

 * : Hi Penny. Nice um…diary.
 * : Hey, how about you come to lunch with me and Gumball. Seems like maybe you wanna talk. Right? [Closes bag] Right! [Walks off]
 * : Hey, how about you come to lunch with me and Gumball. Seems like maybe you wanna talk. Right? [Closes bag] Right! [Walks off]

A Nice Lunch

 * : [Laughs pretentiously] Uh what was that? Yeah, I know. We got so much in common. [Proposes quickly and horrifically] Be my wife! Ugh, it's not special enough.
 * : [With tongue sticking out] Marry me…this wont work.
 * : I just want it to be perfect.
 * : This is perfect, Gumball.
 * : Not quite yet sugar, but it will be...
 * : When you say yes.
 * : What?
 * : Ah! What are you doing here?
 * : I invited him [Kisses Gumball]
 * : [Gasps and kisses Gumball] I don't need an invite!
 * : Okay, loud.
 * : Sorry, I didn't know you were coming. So there's only two plates.
 * : Okay. Can I use my hand at least?
 * : [Hisses]
 * : Never mind.
 * : So uh Darwin, I hope you don't feel…threatened by me. Do you?
 * : [Laughs] No.
 * : Okay, good. Enjoy your food.
 * : Dude! What is wrong with you?
 * : Nothing, I'm fine! See you later. [Walks off]
 * : Well, now that we're alone-
 * : Now that we're alone, there's something I wanted to ask you.
 * : What is it?
 * : Actually, I'm gonna stay.
 * : [Laughs] No.
 * : Okay, good. Enjoy your food.
 * : Dude! What is wrong with you?
 * : Nothing, I'm fine! See you later. [Walks off]
 * : Well, now that we're alone-
 * : Now that we're alone, there's something I wanted to ask you.
 * : What is it?
 * : Actually, I'm gonna stay.
 * : What is it?
 * : Actually, I'm gonna stay.
 * : Actually, I'm gonna stay.

Basketball Class

 * : Okay, now pick your teams!
 * : Who? Me? OH! In your face!
 * : Penny!
 * : Raaaaaahhh! Defense! [Stomps] Defense!
 * : Dude, what are you doing!?
 * : [Throwing the ball at Gumball] Playing ball!
 * : She's on our team, man! You're out!
 * : Fine! Suit yourself.
 * : Dude, what are you doing!?
 * : [Throwing the ball at Gumball] Playing ball!
 * : She's on our team, man! You're out!
 * : Fine! Suit yourself.
 * : Fine! Suit yourself.

At The Library

 * : Penny, there's something I need to ask you.
 * : Actually, there's something I wanted to say as well.
 * : I know. I totally feel what you feel. Let's say it at the same time. One. Two-
 * : We need some space.
 * : It's just…until you guys work it out, I kinda feel bad ruining your relationship. You two have something special, you know?
 * : Ugh. What are you doing?
 * : Whatever it takes for you to still love me. Is it working?
 * : If by working, you mean making me nauseous then- [Gags, then cries] But it doesn't matter anyway. Penny's left me! She didn't want to come between us, and it's all your fault! [Face-plants and cries]
 * : Uh…I didn't mean to come between you two. I-I-I just wanted to spend more time with you. I'm so sorry. Come here-
 * : Wait, this is creepy. But I really need a hug!
 * : There, there.
 * : Is it weird that I love her so much it makes my ears sweat?
 * : No, no.
 * : Is it weird that I think about her all the time, even in he bathroom?
 * : [Chuckles] No.
 * : Is it weird that I bought a ring, and I want to ask her to marry me?
 * : Well, yeah. That's-that's completely weird.
 * : Well, it doesn't matter now. It's all ruined!
 * : No it's not. What if I could give you the perfect setting, the perfect moment?
 * : What do you mean?
 * : Stop it. That…that's weird.
 * : Mm mm. Come on!
 * : [Snickers] Alright [Dances] how are you gonna get a log cabin though? Or a lake? Or a chocolate fountain? And how are you gonna get her come her to come over?
 * : Mm mm. Come on!
 * : Mm mm. Come on!
 * : Stop it. That…that's weird.
 * : Mm mm. Come on!
 * : [Snickers] Alright [Dances] how are you gonna get a log cabin though? Or a lake? Or a chocolate fountain? And how are you gonna get her come her to come over?
 * : Mm mm. Come on!
 * : Mm mm. Come on!
 * : Mm mm. Come on!
 * : Mm mm. Come on!

The Perfect Date

 * : I got it!
 * : Huh? Origami roses? [Picks up one] Made out of toilet paper.
 * : Gumball? Guys? Hello?
 * are you're parent's aware there's a lake of antifreeze in their backyard? This stuff's really flammable you know. Huh?
 * : [Speaking indistinctly over the loud whirring of the fan]
 * : What?!
 * [Turns off fan] Ah, please. Sit down.
 * : Wow. Okay... Uh, why are you sitting on roadkill?
 * : You have made me the happiest man in the world. Goodnight.
 * : What?
 * : [whispering] Aw, dagnabbit. That's supposed to be the last one. Uh, hold on. Romantic deep man voice. Welcome to the best night of your life.
 * : Wow. Okay... Uh, why are you sitting on roadkill?
 * : You have made me the happiest man in the world. Goodnight.
 * : What?
 * : [whispering] Aw, dagnabbit. That's supposed to be the last one. Uh, hold on. Romantic deep man voice. Welcome to the best night of your life.