The Joy/Transcript

At Home
[In front of the Watterson household, subtitles say: Monday, 07:53 A.M. Richard and Anais are seen eating breakfast, while Gumball & Darwin are seen grumpy, splashing the food all over their faces, then wipe with napkins]


 * I think someone needs a hug. [Richard gives Anais a hug] Not me! Them!

''[Gumball and Darwin repeatedly slam the door. Richard walks up to them]''


 * What's up?


 * It's Monday.


 * I see. Do you want a hug?


 * There's no point. Everything on Monday is crummy!


 * What about a wonder hug?


 * What's that?


 * It's filled with all the love and happiness in the world!


 * That sounds crummy too!


 * WONDER HUG! [Richard gives Gumball and Darwin a wonder hug. A rainbow explosion cloud comes out of the Watterson household and sparkles are seen everywhere.]

At School
[Subtitles say 09:01 A.M. Gumball and Darwin are walking down the school hall]


 * [smiling] It was a good hug, but I still feel grumpy.


 * Then why are you smiling?


 * I don't know, why are you heel clipping? [Gumball is heel clipping]


 * Yeah. I don't know. [Miss Simian and Bobert walk into each other]


 * You better run, you're late for class! [Bobert runs]


 * No running in the halls!


 * Command unachievable, assessing personal level of utilities: 0%, system obsolete, engaging self destruct. [blows a fuse] [Banana Joe is strolling down the hall with his banana peel peeled off]


 * Dress code. [fixes Banana Joe, while some of his skin is stuck between the gaps, then she walks past Banana Joe; she then spots a drawing of some children playing in the sea, then she draws a shark fin on the drawing; in her office, she is clicking past CCTV footage, with everyone looking depressed] Good. Hm, excellent. Perfect. I love the smell of despair on a Monday morning, but there's something missing. Ohoho, I know! [presses a button on a tape recorder, which plays [Beethoven]'s Moonlight Sonata]] Yeesss...hm? [looks at the computer screen at a camera facing Gumball and Darwin, who are looking happy. Miss Simian spits out her coffee through her nose.]

[Subtitles say 10:28 A.M. In class, Gumball has a huge smile on his face]


 * [also smiling] Dude, stop smiling. I can feel her eyes burning the back of my head! [Darwin turns around. Miss Simian is staring through a hole that has been burned into Teri's face. Sarah's head has melted and is boiling]


 * It's not my fault! [singing] My cheeks are begging me to stop! But my heart, my heart says keep smiling, homie!


 * [storms to Gumball] How DARE you sing in my class?


 * I'm sorry, but since this morning, [singing] I think there might be something strange with us, maybe- [Gumball closes Darwin's mouth]


 * What is wrong with you?


 * [singing] If joy like this is wrong, then gosh darn it, I don't wanna feel right, bab- [Darwin jams his hand against Gumball's cheek, which shuts him up]


 * How could you be in such a good mood on a Monday morning in the middle of a surprise test?


 * [takes Darwin's arm and puts it where his nose would be] I don't understand it myself, miss, but I just feel so hap- [sees Darwin's face and starts laughing maniacally while coughing out a rainbow liquid. Miss Simian starts to look shocked. The camera hits her face]


 * [in his office, recording himself pretending to talk to a student in trouble] I'm sorry, what did you say? Young man, I'll have you know that I'm the authority in this school. I'll let it slide for now this time. Or maybe I'll JUST- [pretends to fight, thrusting his fists near the camera. Miss Simian opens the door, Brown freezes then Miss Simian closes the door, and opens it again. This time, Principal Brown is in his chair.] Ah! Miss Simian! What can I do for you?


 * [gets very close to Principal Brown] There's a disease, spreading through the school!


 * What? What do you mean?


 * An outbreak, an outbreak of joy!


 * Right, now I'm not implying what you just said sounds crazy, it sounds more like: [starts to flail around his chair, making weird noises. Miss Simian looks unimpressed; he then stops] Actually, now that I said it myself, it does sound a little crazy.


 * [speaks angrily] I’LL PROVE IT TO YOU!!!


 * Wait! Don't play the tape! [Whispers] Uh, but if you do so, please don't let it get on the internet, people's lives will be ruined by things like that.

The Experiment
[Subtitles say 11:06 A.M.]


 * Dr. Simian's log. The subjects' state is now getting worse. The disease has distorted their face into a hideous grimace.


 * There's nothing wrong with these kids, they're just smiley because they're happy. And for the record, you're not a doctor.


 * The happiness IS the disease! And for the record, [makes fart sound]. All right, try and stop smiling.


 * Okay!


 * This should prove my point. [Gumball tries to pull his lower lip down so he looks unhappy]


 * Try harder!


 * [takes off his mouth] Oh! I know! [puts mouth back upside down] There.


 * Hmm... [Gumball's face warps, with his mouth going back to looking smiley]


 * See? This is proof that these children are diseased! It's scientific!


 * That was a lot of things ending in "ic", it was graphic, it was idiotic, it was sick, one could even say it was horrific, but it certainly wasn't scientific!


 * I thought that was fin-flapping-tastic! [Subtitles say 15:33 P.M.]


 * The subjects seem to be getting worse, but still, no-one takes me seriously.


 * Maybe that's because you're full of it.


 * Professor Simian, signing out.


 * You're not a prof-[static]


 * [shines a flashlight onto Gumball] Look at their eyes. They're all weird!


 * Maybe it's because you've been shining a flashlight into them for half an hour.


 * What, really? What time is it?

''[Subtitles that say "16:06 P.M." and knocks down Miss Simian]''


 * [pants while pushing down the subtitles after getting back up] It's not just the flashlight. Look at those faces. [Waves at Darwin] Hello? Hello, is anybody there? [switch to Darwin's point of view, where Miss Simian is a colorful sock monkey and the nurse is a candy cane] Hello? Hello? [Darwin turns to Gumball]


 * Do you see what I see?

[Exit Darwin's point of view]


 * The cuddle monkey says it wants a kiss.

[Gumball and Darwin try to kiss Miss Simian]


 * No, no, no, no. Stop. No, don't do that. What the-- [presses on Gumball's lips] No humiliarity! [Gumball and Darwin get up, and Miss Simian backs up in front of the door] Oh, no, no. Get back. [Miss Simian starts throwing jars at them] No! Aah! [Opens up a jar and throws the liquid at them]


 * What are you doing?


 * Throwing water at them.


 * That's not water. It's cough syrup. AND THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TREAT STUDENTS!!!

The Proof
[Subtitles say 16:36 PM]


 * I had no other choice but to put the subjects into quarantine. Their state is deteriorating. I will soon have proof of their infection. I also resolved my difference of opinion with the medical staff. [the nurse pulls off tape on her mouth] Research supervisor Lucy Simian, signing out.


 * Supervisor? More like a super nut job! I'm not watching you torture children for being happy! I'm getting Principal Brown!


 * Fine! I'll conduct my experiments without you!


 * You are not qualified to conduct experiments!

[Miss Simian mocks the nurse]


 * You're ugly enough without making faces!


 * Wait, what? How did she see that?

''[Gumball and Darwin are laughing hysterically, then rainbows float out of their mouths and they fall unconscious. The monitor plays a tune, while the screen becomes rainbow-colored]''


 * Oh. My. Gosh. PROOF!

[Principal Brown and the nurse are walking to the infirmary]


 * Like this? [mocks Miss Simian]


 * No, more like this [mocks Miss Simian] And she's giving herself all these titles, I mean, what is a Senior Mega-Consultant Superviologist anyway?

[They open the infirmary door, Miss Simian dances]


 * IN YOUR FACE! I told you they were ill! Look at them!


 * Oh, my goodness. THE CHILDREN! Miss Simian, do you realize what this means?


 * Oh, yes. It means YOU WERE WRONG, and [points to the nurse] YOU WERE WRONG, and I WAS RIGHT! [dances]

The Contamination
''[Gumball and Darwin wake up as huggers, and jump onto Principal Brown, infecting him with the Joy Virus. Gumball, Darwin and Brown are are walking to Miss Simian and the nurse, while they are backing away from them. Miss Simian throws the nurse into the infected, infecting her, too. Miss Simian enters her office, trying to close the door as the infected try to get in. Miss Simian looks at the CCTV camera footage]''


 * Oh, no, it's spreading! IT'S SPREADING!

[On the footage, the nurse is seen jumping onto Rocky, infecting him]


 * Ah! Hey, it really works! Ahahahah...


 * Ladies! Contaminate me!

[The infected girls completely ignore Tobias, and infect Leslie instead]


 * [sighs] The flower boy. Typical.

[Gumball and Banana Joe chase Penny into the library, cornering her]


 * No!

''[Gumball infects Penny and kicks Banana Joe away. Penny laughs]''


 * [from her office] It's infected everyone. [slow motion] NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

''[In slow motion, Miss Simian begins trashing her office. She flips over the desk, but lands right where it was. She tips everything off of the desk and flips the desk upside down. She knocks over a fan, causing a book to hit the tape recorder, which plays "Moonlight Sonata". Principal Brown, who is outside of the office, pulls a sad face, gets cured, and runs away]''


 * The music, the music is the cure! The PA system. It's our only chance.

''[Subtitles say 18:20 P.M. Miss Simian is slowly walking down the dark hallway. She spots Anais faced in a corner, making crying sounds]''


 * Hey. Hey, kid, kid, stop crying, I'm not infected. See this face?

''[Anais turns around - she's infected. She runs toward Miss Simian, who dodges. Anais runs inside a locker, and Miss Simian quickly closes it]''


 * No running in the halls.

[Miss Simian turns to another hallway, filled with infected people, and quickly hides]


 * There's no other way. [Miss Simian tries to pull a smiley face, struggling, but eventually succeeds. She walks down the hallway pretending to be infected]


 * Heh-huh Rainbows! Peace!


 * Uuuhhh!


 * Uuuhhhh!

''[Banana Joe is walking down the hallway, his skin peeled off. Miss Simian tries to resist]''


 * [fixing Banana Joe's peel] DRESS CODE!!!

''[Her voice catches everyone's attention. They all start chasing her and Miss Simian defends herself in the process. Eventually, she meets Tobias, who is not infected. Miss Simian slams his locker door on him]''


 * Ow! What the--Ow!


 * Sorry, but it's your own fault. You're so multi-colored that I thought you were one of them. [Resumes running as everyone approaches from around the corner. She enters the PA room, puts the tape recorder near the mic, and rewinds the tape]


 * Come on, come on, come on, come on. [Everyone is now outside of the door. The tape finishes rewinding] Yes. [As she's about to play the song, Gumball and Darwin come up behind her from the darkness.] You gotta be kidding me. [She screams as everyone outside in the hall is shown. Fade to black]

''[Static, then Gumball and Darwin are shown clinging to Miss Simian. The camera is recording]''


 * [to the camera] The joy. It's starting to get to me. There's only one way to defeat it, you have to play a piece of music. [cough] I don't actually know [cough] what it's called, but it goes something like this: DAA DAA [cough] Sorry, I'm not much of a singer. DAA [cough] I'm sorry. I let you down. This story came to a happy-- ENDING! [becomes infected and laughs maniacally]

''[Static. The camcorder's tape cuts to Principal Brown in his office, swinging a mop around]''

[Episode ends]