The Sock/Transcript


 * Miss Simian: Class! Time to hand in your homework!
 * Darwin: What are we going to do? What are we going to do? If we tell her the truth, she'll flip!
 * Gumball: Be cool buddy, it'll be fine.
 * Miss Simian: [grunts as she takes up the students' homework] Ugh! At least it's on time.
 * Darwin: I wasn't built to take this much pressure!
 * Gumball: Relax man, we'll just tell her what really happened.
 * Miss Simian: Alright you two, what's today's excuse?
 * Gumball: [clears throat] Our dad ate our homework.
 * Miss Simian: [growls angrily, as the shot abrubtly transitions to the outside of Miss Simian's room] Go see the guidance counselor immediately!
 * Gumball: But, Miss Simian-
 * Miss Simian: And don't come back until you've learned how to tell the truth! [slams door]
 * Gumball and Darwin: [groan]


 * Mr. Small: And this, is what the inside of a liar looks like.
 * Gumball and Darwin: Ew!
 * Mr. Small: Notice, the dark abyss here. That's the corrupt soul of the liar.
 * Gumball: But Mr. Small we're not liars.
 * Mr. Small: Hmph. You should tell that to the last boy who sat there and lied to me. He's there now!
 * Darwin: The prison!?
 * Mr. Small: No, next to it.
 * Gumball: The cemetery!? What happened to him?
 * Mr. Small: He just works there.
 * Gumball and Darwin: [relieved 'sigh]'
 * Mr. Small: Now, let me show you something. [rummages around in his cabinet, he takes out a small hat and blows on it] This, is the lying hat. Now, watch what happens when I put it on. Your mother called!
 * Gumball and Darwin: Oh!
 * Mr. Small: She says she hates you!
 * Gumball: [gasp, tearfully] She does?
 * Darwin: [glass breaking] I think my heart just broke.
 * Mr. Small: It's okay kids, that was a lie.
 * Gumball and Darwin: [relieved sigh]
 * Mr. Small: But you see, that's what a lie will do! Hurt your feelings. She hates you!
 * Gumball and Darwin: Aww.
 * Mr. Small: She loves you.
 * Gumball and Darwin: Yay!
 * Mr. Small: Hates you!
 * Gumball and Darwin: Aww.
 * Mr. Small: Loves you.
 * Gumball and Darwin: Yay!
 * [he continues to ask this until their voices become so fast that they're indistinguishable, Gumball and Darwin start breathing heavily afterwards]
 * Mr. Small: So, what have we learned today?
 * Darwin: Never trust a man in a hat.
 * Mr. Small: Yes, but what else?
 * Gumball and Darwin: Uhh...
 * Mr. Small: Honesty is the best policy!
 * Gumball and Darwin: Oh.
 * Mr. Small: Say it!
 * Gumball and Darwin: Honesty is the best policy.
 * Mr. Small: Good, and again!
 * Gumball and Darwin: Honesty is the best policy. Honesty is the best policy. Honesty is the best policy. [the scene dissolves with the audio]


 * Gumball Okay Darwin, remember, from now on, we only tell the truth.
 * Darwin: Okay! Your face is too big.
 * Gumball: [offended gasp] Well, when you say the letter 's', your gills whistle!
 * Darwin: [while whistling his 's's] You smell so stinky, sea sailor sing shanties about your stinkiness!
 * Gumball: [shouting] You walk like a princess!
 * Darwin: [shouting] You walk like a pigeon!
 * Gumball: Okay, that's us covered, let's bring our honesty to the world!


 * Darwin: You've got a monobrow! [Juke makes a sad tape rewinding noise]
 * Gumball: You've got no hands! [Adam deflates] Just being honest.
 * Darwin: Your face is burnt.
 * Gumball: I love you! [Penny gasps]
 * Darwin: But he'll never make the first move.
 * Gumball: Hmph.
 * Darwin: He's having a party on Friday, and he didn't invite you.
 * Tobias: What?!
 * Idaho: Sorry man, you're just not cool enough.


 * Gumball: Whoa! This one is long overdue. Hey Tina! [Tina looks at them and growls] You smell, and it's not very ladylike!
 * Darwin: It's like a sweaty watchstrap.
 * Gumball: Nah, it's more like raw chicken and rancid milk, in a plastic bag.
 * Darwin: Yeah! That's been left in the sun for a week.
 * Gumball: Okay, now that we've got your smelliness covered, let's move on to your personality. [Tina growls angrily and stomps on them]
 * Darwin: Oww...
 * Gumball: Yep, truth hurts.


 * Miss Simian: Oh, Nigel...
 * Principal Brown: Let's leave all this behind and go live on a desert island.
 * Miss Simian: But how would we survive?!
 * Principal Brown: On fruit, water, and love.
 * Miss Simian: Oh!
 * Gumball: [clears throat] Did you ask us in here for a reason?
 * Principal Brown: Yes, of course Watterson. I've been getting a lot of complaints, what on Earth's gotten into you?
 * Gumball: Principal Brown, can I be honest with you?
 * Principal Brown: I, er, uh,- yes.
 * Gumball: I can't help thinking that your relationship with Miss Simian, could be comprimising your professionalism.
 * Darwin: I completely agree Gumball, and frankly, I fear my education is suffering as a result.
 * Gumball: And besides Principal Brown, you can do so much better than that!
 * Principal Brown and Miss Simian: [they both growl angrily at them]


 * Mr. Small: Okay, so you got honesty wrong. Perhaps we should try something else! I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. [he rustles around in his filing cabinet] Uh, one second. [popping sounds, grunting sounds] [dopey voice] Hello children, I'm the Honesty Bear!
 * Gumball: O-kaaay...
 * Mr. Small: I'm here to tell you that honesty's not all black and white, but, like my fur, it's more of a grey area. Grey. See that? Grey fur. Now, there are some things that are "too" honest, to say out loud.
 * Gumball: Honesty Bear, I'm confused, what can we be honest about?
 * Mr. Small: Let me put this in a language you kids can understand, hippity rap!


 * Mr. Small
 * Uh uh uh uh, honesty!
 * [crab scratch] Honesty!
 * Break it down!
 * When ya' wanna be honest, just beware!
 * Truth hurts in this nitrogenic atmosphere.
 * You gotta wake up, realize and recognize,
 * The time for truth, has strategeical lies!
 * But keep them lies of a managable size,
 * Or tears will arise, and hurt their eyes!
 * So before you speak, it's best to remember:
 * Each individual case will require a specific judgement call depending on who you're talking to and the context of the conversation!


 * Mr. Small: Any questions? No? Excellent! Goodbye. [he rudely shoves the two of them out the door]


 * Gumball: Hmm... Okay, I think I got it. You should always tell the truth unless you have to lie, but if you do lie you should tell the truth about it unless you're talking to someone who's lying because if they tell a lie and you tell the truth it'll be a lie because you were lying about telling the truth inside of a lie so the whole thing's a lie while still being true! [Darwin's head explodes]


 * Gumball: [sigh] Man this truth and honesty thing is hard.
 * Principal Brown: Has anyone seen the nurse?! I think my head may be on fire. Is my head on fire?
 * Gumball: Umm, would it be a good thing or a bad thing if it was on fire?
 * Principal Brown: A bad thing of course!
 * Gumball and Darwin: It's not on fire.
 * Principal Brown: Oh! Hoho, whoo! You know for a minute there I thought my head was on fire. What a relief. So, how are things with you Watterson?
 * Gumball: Uh! Yeah, uh, not bad. You?
 * Principal Brown: Pretty good. Pretty good. So, no more of that lying trouble I hope?
 * Gumball: Uhh.. [coughs loudly] No.
 * Principal Brown: Alright then! Toodle-oo! [the fire alarm starts ringing and the sprinklers turn on]


 * Mr. Small: Hmm, okay... Looks like I'm going to have to introduce you to someone else. [he rummages through his filing cabinet] I'd like you to say hello, to the Silence Snake.
 * Gumball and Darwin: Hello Silence-
 * Silence Snake: Silencesss...!
 * Gumball: But-
 * Silence Snake: Silencesss...! [Gumball and Darwin let out a small whimper]
 * Mr. Small: Now, I bet your tiny minds are thinkin' [dopey, childish voice] "But, what if there's something important we need to say?" Well, why don't you ask, the Silence Snake? [Gumball and Darwin let out another scared whimper] Oh go on, he won't bite.
 * Gumball: Okay... what would,-
 * Silence Snake: Silencesss...!
 * Mr. Small: Well it looks like my work here is done, ahh... [he begins to lose his balance] Wha, whoa, woo, ahhhh! Oof! [the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet shuts] [muffled] Uh, boys, uh, can you hear me? Say something!
 * [the Silence Snake is glaring at Gumball and Darwin, which makes them too scared to say anything]
 * Mr. Small: I think my knees are digging into my back, you need to help me. Now, there should be a little gold key, on my desk. Oh, ah, don't worry, I've got it here. Oh gosh, please no! Oh wait, maybe I can just, [a horrible crunching sound] Auuuogh!
 * Gumball and Darwin: [shudder]
 * Mr. Small: [urgently] Okay you need to get some help right now! Right now! [Gumball dials the Elmore Police Station]
 * Doughnut Policeman: Elmore Police. [Gumball inhales, but Darwin slaps his mouth closed]
 * Darwin: Mmm, mm, mm! [the Silence Snake is still glaring at them, they rush out the door to get help]
 * Doughnut Policeman: Hello? Hello? Aw, I'm sick of these prank phone calls!


 * Principal Brown: Hmm? Oh, it's just not the same. [Gumball and Darwin rush in making urgent sounds] Oh, what now? [Gumball and Darwin continue attempting to communicate without opening their mouths] "Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh?" What's that supposed to mean?
 * Gumball: Ha, ahh, wha! Ooh!
 * Darwin: Hnngh, [panting] hnngh!
 * Principal Brown: What?! Miss Simian's trapped down the old abandoned well? I'm coming, my smoochkins! [he falls through a second story window] Ahh! [slams onto the pavement] [weakly] Elbows... don't fail me now...


 * Miss Simian: So anyway, the plan is to live on fruit, water, and love.
 * Rocky: Dude, I don't care.
 * Miss Simian: Well, go back to fixing the toilets then! [Gumball and Darwin run up and try to talk to Miss Simian] What do you want? [they do the same routine again] What? I'm trapped down the old abandoned well? Hold on! I'm coming! [she falls through a second story window] Ahh! [slams onto pavement] [weakly] Come on chin... don't fail me now...


 * [Gumball and Darwin literally run into Rocky in the hall, his crowbars fall with a clang]
 * Rocky: Whoa! Slow down little dudes. [they do the routine for him] What's that? Mr. Small rocked back smugly on his chair fell into the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet it locked shut and you want to use these crowbars to break him out?
 * Gumball and Darwin: [gasp] Hmmmm!
 * Rocky: Aww, see ya! [he jumps out the window]


 * Mr. Small: Ah! Oh! Ah! [Gumball and Darwin rush inside the room] Boys? I-Is that you? Do something, anything! [Darwin hits the side of the filing cabinet with the crowbar] Ow! Well, on the plus side I think that loosened the lock a little, keep going! [they both start hitting the cabinet with their crowbars] Can I, crawl out, ooh [the drawer pops open, Mr. Small inhales deeply before Darwin accidentally hits it again, causing the drawer to shut] Ah! Just a thought, but maybe you wanna' lever the drawer open with that crowbar?
 * [Gumball and Darwin strain to open the door, but the cabinet falls on the floor with a loud thud]
 * Doughnut Policeman: Freeze! Police! [gasps] You're coming with me you little hooligans!
 * Gumball: But! [he notices the Silence Snake and stays silent]


 * Doughnut Policeman: Why won't you talk? Talk darn it, talk!
 * Nicole: Officer, there's clearly been some kind of misunderstanding.
 * Doughnut Policeman: Well ma'm, looking at their rap sheet it seems they're not first time offenders. Multiple accounts of antisocial behaviour, vandalizing school property, and setting your principal on fire!
 * Miss Simian: And all because you lied about your father eating your homework.
 * Richard: [Richard falls on the floor and begins to sob] Okay! I did it!
 * Miss Simian: But why?
 * Richard: I thought it was gonna' make me smart!
 * Doughnut Policeman: Well, it obviously didn't. So, I guess you boys didn't lie after all.
 * Nicole: Oh, I'm so proud of you two!
 * Gumball and Darwin: Thanks, mom.
 * Principal Brown: By the way, you don't happen to know where Mr. Small is, do you?
 * Doughnut Policeman: The only evidence we could find was this sock. [the Silence Snake hisses and Gumball and Darwin immediately deny that they know where Mr. Small is] Oh well, case closed!


 * Mr. Small: [from inside his room] This isn't funny anymore! Will someone please open this thing!?
 * Rocky: Eh? [loud rock music is heard coming from his headphones, he doesn't hear anything] Meh. [he walks away]
 * Mr. Small: HEEELLLLLLLL-!