The Kids/Transcript

Bathroom

 * (whispering) You still got it.
 * Hey, kids. Do I look old to you?
 * Uh, It's hard to say. I guess that's the good thing about being fat- It fills out all the wrinkles!
 * Agh! Well, guess my age.
 * and : Uh...
 * Ooh! Ice Age!
 * What?! Are you kidding me? When do you think I was born?
 * Uh, I don't know. 1592?
 * What?!
 * Minus a hundred!
 * 1492? That's when America was discovered!
 * Aw, come on! Help us out here. Was it B.C. or A.D.?
 * Hmmph!
 * What did you say to your father?
 * It's not our fault! It was a trap!
 * Ooh, was he fishing for compliments again?
 * Yeah. Some reality got caught in the net.
 * But you know what it's like, Mrs. Mom. You're pretty old, too.
 * I'm old?
 * Yeah, I mean that you're so old t- that you learned to drive on a horse!
 * You're so old that you ate dodoes your first Thanksgiving!
 * You're so old that if you had kids now, they'd be born middle-aged!
 * Yeah, I mean, that you're so old that-
 * ALRIGHT!
 * No one stays young forever, you know. You'll see how it feels when it happens to you.
 * Aw, I think we'll be fine.
 * Yeah, dude. I've been twelve like... Forever, now!
 * I think we can safely say that we'll be young forever and never cha-a-a-a-ange!
 * Dude! Are you alright?
 * What's happening?
 * I think our voices are broke!
 * Dude, I think you made some of my organs move inside...
 * No one stays young forever, you know. You'll see how it feels when it happens to you.
 * Aw, I think we'll be fine.
 * Yeah, dude. I've been twelve like... Forever, now!
 * I think we can safely say that we'll be young forever and never cha-a-a-a-ange!
 * Dude! Are you alright?
 * What's happening?
 * I think our voices are broke!
 * Dude, I think you made some of my organs move inside...
 * I think our voices are broke!
 * Dude, I think you made some of my organs move inside...

Living room

 * Okay that was weird, but I'm not gonna let it ruin our day. I'll call Penny and see if she wants to go to the mall.
 * Fitzgerald residence!
 * Hi, can I speak to Penny  pleeeease...
 * Is this a joke?
 * No.
 * This better be a joke.
 * No, wait, I don't think you understand-
 * I don't think you understand. You think you can call my house and freak us out? You think you've got a scary voice?  This is a scary voice. Now listen to me. I have a very specific set of skills. Skills I've acquired over a very long career. In real estate. If you never call by daughter again, that, will be the end of it. But if you do, I will look for you. I will find you. And I will build a house around you. With no doors.
 * Ok, bye!
 * What are you looking at?
 * I dunno, what are you pointing at?
 * Come on,  let's just go together.
 * What are you looking at?
 * I dunno, what are you pointing at?
 * Come on,  let's just go together.
 * Come on,  let's just go together.

The Bus

 * Hello, two kids-price tickets, please.
 * You digust me!
 * Wait, what? Why?
 * Where is your pride? Where is your beard? WHERE IS YOUR AXE?!
 * Wait,why are you driving with an axe?
 * Oh i use it to push the pedals.
 * Sir I think you confuse. We're not what you--
 * Your manly warrior voices gave you away our people will wonders in the mines of Esmaradell and here you are, pretending to be children to scrounge your bus fare! Shame on you.
 * Dude we're not cheating anyone. We're kids.
 * I should report you to the Council of Elder
 * You dont need a discount. Your mouth is full of gold and wisdom!
 * How can someone be so ill and mean so evil?
 * Do you feel like walking? I feel like walking.
 * How can someone be so ill and mean so evil?
 * Do you feel like walking? I feel like walking.
 * Do you feel like walking? I feel like walking.



Make The Most of It!

 * and : We enjoy it while we can. We enjoy it while we're kids. We enjoy it while there's still time. To make the most of it. We go around the block and we loiter by the mall. The people think we're thugs, so they give the cops a call. But we can get away with it 'cuz it's a public space. Turns out we weren't loitering, just standing in one place.
 * I don't wear a suit or a-
 * and : Stupid tie!
 * I dress with my eyes closed and-
 * and : I still look fly!
 * (spoken) It looks like you got a leg transplant from a wiener dog.
 * (spoken) Yeah well you- *groans* And when I don't have a comeback I can always cry.
 * and : We enjoy it while we can. We enjoy it while we're kids. We enjoy it while there's still time. To make the most of it.
 * I'm allowed to eat candy, it's okay to be chubby. It's called baby fat, that's how my momma likes me. I don't need to worry about the calories I ate. 'Cuz I'm just a kid with a crazy metabolic rate.  (spoken) Too far.
 * Don't you ever worry about the cavities in your teeth?
 * Who cares if these fall out, I've got new ones underneath!
 * I'm getting tonnes of loot, 'cuz I look so cute. Where are these presents from? It just doesn't compute.
 * We don't have to worry about makin' ends meet. We just throw things in the buggy that we like to eat. 'Cuz when you're still a kid, everything is magic. You don't know it yet.
 * and : Life can get pretty tragic.
 * and : We enjoy it while we can. We enjoy it while we're kids. We enjoy it while there's still time. To make the most of it
 * We don't have to worry, 'cuz we don't have jobs. We can sit around all day and hang out just like slobs.
 * and : We don't freak out about resumes or skills. 'Cuz we don't have either, we got no bills. We got all the time that we wanna kill.
 * (spoken) What time is it?
 * and : It's time to chill!
 * (spoken) What do you think you're doing?
 * (spoken) Just enjoying not having a job.
 * (spoken) Well, you can't stay here!
 * (spoken) Why? Does the sight of freedom hurt your adult feelings?
 * (spoken) No, kid! You're gonna have to move, because-
 * When you're still a kid, being sick is cool. Mom gives you hugs, and you don't have to go to school. Stay at home, watch TV, all day slackin' off. If someone checks on you, just give them a little cough
 * (spoken) Are you alright?
 * (spoken) Aww!
 * It's not my fault if I behave like a dummy. I do a lot of stupid things, 'cos I find it funny.
 * and : We don't need an excuse, 'cuz we've got imagination. We're using it right now to escape the situation. Because when you're a kid, you dream of many things. Like being a Ninja Dentist, or a Wizard Cop with wings. We could fight a shark-bear-gator with a sword made of swords!. Be the best at everything and win awesomeness awards. See an underwater castle with a seahorse made of crystal. Saving mermaids from sharkpeople using golden laser pistols. Plunder the universe in our pirate spaceship. Go back in time to teach cavemen how to kick-flip. Don't need to worry about our future plans for college. Super powers, robot arms, that's a substitute for knowledge
 * It's okay for me to dream that I'm a cowboy from the west!
 * And for me to keep hopin' that there's still a change to grow a (deep voice) chest!
 * and : We don't need an excuse, 'cuz we've got imagination. We're using it right now to escape the situation. Because when you're a kid, you dream of many things. Like being a Ninja Dentist, or a Wizard Cop with wings. We could fight a shark-bear-gator with a sword made of swords!. Be the best at everything and win awesomeness awards. See an underwater castle with a seahorse made of crystal. Saving mermaids from sharkpeople using golden laser pistols. Plunder the universe in our pirate spaceship. Go back in time to teach cavemen how to kick-flip. Don't need to worry about our future plans for college. Super powers, robot arms, that's a substitute for knowledge
 * It's okay for me to dream that I'm a cowboy from the west!
 * And for me to keep hopin' that there's still a change to grow a (deep voice) chest!