The Responsible/Transcript

The Perfect Babysitters

 * Oh, no! It seems I can't put them on. I'm afraid we can't go to the parent's evening.
 * Ready to go.
 * Ah.
 * Hi. I'm here to sit on the baby.
 * What?
 * Well, duh! I'm the babysitter!
 * Richard, where did you find that guy?
 * On the Internet...
 * Where am I going to find a babysitter at this time?
 * Ahem!
 * I can't believe I'm going to say this. I guess you guys are old enough to babysit?
 * and : Us?
 * Yes, you. But promise you'll be responsible.
 * I promise to be the most responsible kid and will handle my responsibilities in the most responsible way.
 * Yeah, responsible!
 * You have no idea what responsible means, do you?
 * and : Nah.
 * It means acting like a grownup. And most of all, it means taking care of your little sister.
 * What?!
 * Can I trust you guys to do that?
 * Come on, mom. We were born reprehensible.
 * Responsible.
 * Yeah, that's what I meant.
 * Richard, put your pants on. We're off.
 * No!
 * Richard. Pants... on.
 * No!
 * Nooo! I don't wanna go to school!
 * We have to go! It's a parents evening, and we are the parents!
 * I'm putting a lot of trust in you kids.
 * Don't worry, mom. You won't be disappointed.
 * So how do you feel, Darwin?
 * Pretty responsible. And you?
 * I feel like a new man... a responsible man.
 * I can't believe this. I'm going upstairs.
 * and : STAIRS! AAAHHH!
 * Oww! What are you doing?
 * Seventy-nine percent of stair accidents happen on the stairs.
 * What does that even mean?
 * It means you're safer sitting here.
 * Okay.
 * : Welcome to Daisy the Donkey show! We'll be right back after these messages.
 * : When you're deciding where to go for a hamburger-
 * Aah! Commercials! They'll corrupt your mind!
 * Bad commercials! Bad commercials!
 * Are you completely out of your mind?
 * There's...too...much...violence...on...TV...anyway.
 * And you chose to demonstrate that by smashing the TV in front of me?
 * It was the responsible thing to do.
 * Even though you set it on fire.
 * It's not on fire. Oh, it is on fire...  FIRE!
 * Stop! Don't throw water on an electrical-
 * -fire... You should always use a fire extinguisher or if unavailable, baking soda. But most importantly call an adult or the emergency services.
 * Yeah of course, but ours was a responsible demonstration of what not to do in case of an electrical fire.
 * How could mom put you in charge?
 * What is wrong with you?!
 * Papercuts.
 * Ridiculous, and look at the mess you're making!
 * It's a small price to pay for your safety.
 * You're too young to understand.
 * Excuse me, but who makes your breakfast every day?
 * and : You, of course.
 * And who helps you with your homework?
 * and : You.
 * So I should be in charge.
 * But who did mom put in charge?
 * You...
 * So who has to do what we say?
 * Me.
 * Yeah of course, but ours was a responsible demonstration of what not to do in case of an electrical fire.
 * How could mom put you in charge?
 * What is wrong with you?!
 * Papercuts.
 * Ridiculous, and look at the mess you're making!
 * It's a small price to pay for your safety.
 * You're too young to understand.
 * Excuse me, but who makes your breakfast every day?
 * and : You, of course.
 * And who helps you with your homework?
 * and : You.
 * So I should be in charge.
 * But who did mom put in charge?
 * You...
 * So who has to do what we say?
 * Me.
 * Me.

Pre-PTA meeting

 * Uhh, I feel like I'm in one of those dreams. The ones where you go to school naked.
 * Oh come on Richard, stop being so dramatic. We're the parents now, there's nothing she can do to you.
 * You get an F minus in parenting! Next!
 * Oh, the Wattersons.
 * Are you aware that your husband isn't wearing any pants?
 * Oh, the Wattersons.
 * Are you aware that your husband isn't wearing any pants?
 * Are you aware that your husband isn't wearing any pants?

Back to the Kids

 * Aw, look at that grumpy little face.
 * I know what will cheer her up. How about a walk in the park?
 * Hmm, yeah I guess that could be okay.
 * Hmm, yeah I guess that could be okay.

Park

 * Come on, it's for your own safety.
 * Oh, isn't she lovely? How old is she then?
 * She's four now.
 * Well now, you want a biscuit? Huh? You won't get a taste of this you won't ever get a taste of this that's right cause it's mine. Whoo I was just teasin' ya, you want a little bit of--
 * Ah! Oh! she bit me!
 * You know what this means?
 * She must be hungry!
 * You know what this means?
 * She must be hungry!

Hungry

 * It's time for num-nums! We have a mackerel sandwich, a potato, and a little something for dessert.
 * Are you kidding me?
 * Of course! That food is way too chunky for a little baby like her, she could choke.
 * I know what to do.
 * Bon appetit!
 * Alright, you asked for this.
 * Okay, bath time.
 * Bon appetit!
 * Alright, you asked for this.
 * Okay, bath time.

Bathing

 * Ah, just right.
 * Isn't water dangerous?
 * How do you expect me to wash myself without water?
 * Haven't you heard of dry cleaning?
 * Fine, get out of here!
 * They grow up so fast.
 * Shhh!
 * Is that water I hear?
 * No! I just... flushed?
 * Oh, speaking of which we're gonna need you to wear this.
 * WHAT!?!
 * We don't want you to have any accidents.
 * Very responsible thinking, Gumball.
 * Hm, thanks.
 * Now be a big girl and--
 * There's no way I'm wearing a diaper!
 * Get back here!
 * Come back Anais! You can run but you can't hide!
 * Open this door young lady! Don't make me tell mom that you've been a bad baby!
 * Aah! She's not in there, she ran out the window!
 * Oh, what's mom gonna think? We're in so much trouble!
 * You goons really walked into that one!
 * Anais, let us in.
 * Babysit yourself on the roof until mom and dad come back.
 * and : Anais! Anais!
 * Oh look, a book, I hope I don't give myself a papercut.
 * and : Anais!
 * Oh no, no diaper. I surely hope I don't have an accident, on your bed!
 * and : Anais! Anais!!
 * And you know what I'm gonna have now? A nice relaxing bath, with real water!
 * Open this door young lady! Don't make me tell mom that you've been a bad baby!
 * Aah! She's not in there, she ran out the window!
 * Oh, what's mom gonna think? We're in so much trouble!
 * You goons really walked into that one!
 * Anais, let us in.
 * Babysit yourself on the roof until mom and dad come back.
 * and : Anais! Anais!
 * Oh look, a book, I hope I don't give myself a papercut.
 * and : Anais!
 * Oh no, no diaper. I surely hope I don't have an accident, on your bed!
 * and : Anais! Anais!!
 * And you know what I'm gonna have now? A nice relaxing bath, with real water!
 * Oh look, a book, I hope I don't give myself a papercut.
 * and : Anais!
 * Oh no, no diaper. I surely hope I don't have an accident, on your bed!
 * and : Anais! Anais!!
 * And you know what I'm gonna have now? A nice relaxing bath, with real water!
 * And you know what I'm gonna have now? A nice relaxing bath, with real water!

Post-PTA meeting

 * Well, it could've been worse.
 * Are you kidding me? Look at the bill, how do you set fire to a swimming pool?
 * I know, pretty good huh?
 * ...that you're always there to keep an eye on them?
 * ...that you're always there to keep an eye on them?
 * ...that you're always there to keep an eye on them?

Underwater

 * Do something!
 * Get on the bed and stay where you are. We'll figure out a way to rescue you.
 * Don't worry! I'll smash the door in,- -Ah! You wouldn't know where the keys are by any chance, would you?
 * Somewhere safe.
 * Ah, what are we gonna do?
 * Hey, how's it going?
 * I don't know, how do you think it's going?
 * Okay, take a deep breath
 * , and : Woohoo!
 * Good job everyone!
 * Hey don't worry, we can use this diaper as a parachute and float safely down to-
 * They're back!
 * ,, and : Oh no.
 * See honey? I told you there was nothing to worry about.
 * Hi.
 * Thank heavens you're safe!
 * So you're not angry at us for trashing the house?
 * Oh no. Angry doesn't BEGIN TO COVER IT!!!!!!!
 * Hey don't worry, we can use this diaper as a parachute and float safely down to-
 * They're back!
 * ,, and : Oh no.
 * See honey? I told you there was nothing to worry about.
 * Hi.
 * Thank heavens you're safe!
 * So you're not angry at us for trashing the house?
 * Oh no. Angry doesn't BEGIN TO COVER IT!!!!!!!
 * Thank heavens you're safe!
 * So you're not angry at us for trashing the house?
 * Oh no. Angry doesn't BEGIN TO COVER IT!!!!!!!
 * Oh no. Angry doesn't BEGIN TO COVER IT!!!!!!!

Blame Game

 * How do you burn the TV underwater?
 * WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!?!
 * Mom, it's my--
 * No, I've got this.
 * No, Gumball, it was me that left the faucet running!
 * Please sis, let your brother be, responsible for once in his life.
 * Thanks, Gumball.
 * Mom-, it was Darwin.
 * WHAT!?! It was her that flooded the place!
 * I thought you were going to take the rap! Anyway, it was clearly mom's fault. She was the one who left Gumball in charge.
 * Well it, it's dad's fault for not finding a proper babysitter!
 * Well, um, none of this would've happened if it wasn't for you!
 * Um, who are you blaming here?
 * The internet?
 * [All agree]
 * Well, um, none of this would've happened if it wasn't for you!
 * Um, who are you blaming here?
 * The internet?
 * [All agree]
 * [All agree]