User blog:ACGuy/MA-8901-BG

She has been through a tough time. Her parents had separated a long time ago, but she has not gotten over it yet. She broke up with her boyfriend as they found out they did not understand each other as well as they thought they would. Her friends could not give her advice nor understand her situation. She was completely depressed. She thought that she would get better with time, but she did not. One day, she came to my house to have a talk with me. We sat on the couch.

"You remember the situation I'm passing through, right?" "Yeah, I do. D'you feel any better?" "Not really. I'm getting even worse." "Well, I told you to go to a psychotherapist, and you didn't listen to me. That'd have helped you, of course not instantly, but right now you could be a lot better than you're now, and-... Sorry, I've gotten a little pedantic, haven't I?" "Hmmph... Well, it was actually my fault, I should've gone, not just sit there and wait for me to magically get better. Can you bring me some water? I need to clear my throat." She was on the verge of tears.

I brought her a glass of water. She drank it, calmly. She remained quiet for a moment. Then, she started to mourn slighty.

"I've been thinking. The only thing I've done is fucking up stuff, I've never done anything useful... I-I've been thinking... A-about killing myself. I-I know it's a little extreme, but if I'd never been born, my friends and family would've been a lot happier than they are, I know it, it's all my fault."

The moment she said that, I immediatly got off the couch.

"Do you even know what you're saying? That would actually fuck up more stuff than it would fix. Suicide is not a solution, it's the coward's exit... Also, it's not like you can kill yourself. You ain't alive. Nor dead. You don't exist." "WHAT?" "You don't exist. You are just part of the fantasy world my mind's created to cope my guilt." "What the hell are you talki...?"

I have been here since the incident. That incident in which I brutally murdered my family. That was... like 12 years ago, probably? I do not remember. Time passes really slowly in here. It is not like you can do much here. I pass most of my time tied to my bed. Why did I killed them? I do not know, I just felt like it. Would I do it again? Of course not, murdering is a horrible thing and I know it. Will I leave this place someday? I do not think so, they think I am dangerous. There is no exit, either. Or maybe...

"Woaaah!" I had just woken up. "That was the weirdest dream I've ever had. That's it! Last time I have squid for dinner."