The Apology/Transcript


 * [While turning around] Now, pay attention! This diagram reveals everything you need to know-

Class: Augh!


 *  [Faces the class again] What?

Class: [Collective muttering]


 * [Turning around, again] Hm. Now we shall continue. This area is-

Class: Augh!


 *  [Facing the class]  What?! [Turning back to the board] This area is mostly composed of hot gases. Never look at it directly with the naked eye, or you will burn your retinas.

[ turns around with burning eyes.]


 * This could lead to rash acts...

[Banana Joe throws his eyes off of his face.]


 * Nausea...

[Masami vomits rainbows.]


 * Weightloss...

[Leslie's petals fall out.]


 * Malfunction, confusion...

[Bobert shorts out, an icecream cone melts, and Sussie regurgitates a brown liquid.]


 * Or explosion.

[Alan blows up.] 


 * [shouting angrily] Oh, I can't take this anymore!


 * [Hysterical] Every second I look at it, means another year of therapy!


 * [Covering his eyes] Augh, I-I gotta tell her, man!


 * You can't talk to a teacher about her tushy! It's too touchy!


 * Aw, c'mon. You can't leave her like that. It-It's cruel.

Okay, but we got to be subtle.

[Writes something down on paper, and hands it to .]

[ folds it into a paper plane.]


 * Psst! !

[Throws airplane.]


 * Huh?

[Plane lands in her eye.]

At the Principal's Office

 *  [Screaming at ' and '  You are nothing, but a pair of disruptive, disrespectful, delinquents, from a dysfunctional devasty of degenerates and dimwits!!

Principal Brown: What do you have to say for your defense?


 * Uh, it, uh was an accident, sir! We were trying to tell her something!

Principal Brown: Tell her what?


 * Uh-uh I can't say it. It's too embarrassing.

Principal Brown: [slamming his fist on the desk] For the last time, why did you throw a paper plane at your teacher's face?!


 *  [Whispering to Principal Brown] It says it all on the paper.

Principal Brown: [Reading to himself, muffled] You do not know how much it shows, but the wind has blown in the hills below.


 * Speaking of which, can anyone else feel that draft?

['' walks away to close the window. The screen zooms in on her butt.]''

[Principal Brown spits out his beverage while giving himself a facepalm for an extended period of time.]


 * [Whispering to Principal Brown] Maybe you should say something...

Principal Brown: Yes, I suppose.

[Principal Brown walks to Miss Simian, and whispers something into her ear.]


 * [Gasps whilst pulling her dress down] You knew about this, and you thought it was funny, didn't you?!

[ and  simultaneously shake their heads.]


 * You think this is funny?!

Principal Brown: Lucy, please. I think you owe them an apology.


 * Don't you "Lucy" me, Nigel! These kids tried to make a monkey out of me, and you want me to apologize?!

Principal Brown: Uh, you kids are free to go!

[ goes "ape" and throws furniture around, while making monkey sounds.]

In the Hallway

 * Hm. There's one thing I don't understand...


 * Yeah, why did she go ape when we just tried to help her?


 * No, why do monkeys have hair all over their bodies, except for the ugly part where they need it the most?

[Bell rings.]

In the Classroom

 * [To   Have you noticed that  has been acting a little "off" lately?


 * Now that you mention it, she has been keeping a particularly close eye on us.

[Screen pans out showing s eyes stretched to 'and .]''

['and ' try to make their way out the classroom, when they're greeted by 's hand.] 

['slaps s hand, as if giving a high-five.]''


 * Report card. Signed. : Oh! Okay.

['' glances at the report card and chuckles to herself.  and  join in nervously.] ''

In the Principal's Office

 * Its the most pathetic, half-baked, attempt at forgery I've seen in my 300,000 years as a teacher, and I've taught during the stone age!

Richard Watterson: [Gasp] Forgery-ers! My own flesh and blood accused of forgery-ing?

[Whispers to ] What does it mean?


 * Faking your signature.

Richard Watterson:  [Gasps again]

Principal Brown: We need you to sign this suspension card.


 * Oh, but-

Richard Watterson: But, but, but!

[Richard signs the card.] 

[Principal Brown looks at the signature to see that they are both the same.]

[Scene Skips to Principal Brown's Office Trashed. Only Miss Simian and Principal Brown present.]
[ crying]

Principal Brown: Uh, listen, these kids are decent children. There's nothing you can suspend them for. They don't fight, they respect school property, they don't steal...

At the Library
[ and  find a 100 dollar bill on the floor.]

& : Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!


 * [hiding behind a bookshelf] C'mon, pick it up and keep it for yourselves, you thieving hoodlums.


 * [Dancing] We're rich!


 * [Dancing]  We're prosperous!


 * We're opulent!


 * We're fresh!


 * We're gilded!


 * We're wealthy!


 * We're-- wait a minute. We need to change our phone numbers and leave town!


 * Why?


 * [Whispering]  'Cause they're all gonna want a piece of it.


 * Who?


 * Everyone! Look at all trying to get their creepy hands on my money!

[Leslie walks by, creeped out]


 * , you've changed!


 * No I haven't! I'm just the same, but happier because I'm rich!


 * Look at yourself! You're surrounded by all these riches, but you're the lonliest man in the world! [sobs]


 * You're-You're right! This money is evil! I wish I never found it!

''[Balls up money and throws it out the window.  goes after it]''

Outside

 * Mm. Have you heard? There's gonna be a big fight!


 * Why do you think I brought the popcorn? Who do you think it'll be?


 * I don't know. [Gasp] Imagine if it's Tina and Bobert!

[Cutaway of Bobert and Tina shooting a lazer at each other.]


 * If I saw that, I'd throw away my eyes, because nothing else in the world will be worth watching, anymore.


 * Really? What about [in a boxing announcer's voice] Alan versus Williaaaaaaaaaaam?

[Cutaway of Alan and William bumping into each other.]


 * Yeah, I'd watch it, but it'd be better if it were in a cage.

[A cage appears in the cutscene]


 * With spikes.

[Spikes appear in cutscene]


 * That was on fire.

''[Cage gets lit on fire. William and Alan bump nervously.]''


 * Oh, I can't wait to see who it is!

[Classmates form a crowd around 'and '.]

Crowd: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!


 * See? Look at them, about to fight like animals!

Prinicpal Brown: Why not focus your attention on someone who really needs it.

[Principal Brown puckers his lips.]


 * Shoosh. It's about to start.


 * Dude, what are we doing?


 * Stupid things because of peer pressure.

Alan: This would be even better with poison nun chucks.


 * You gotta get us out of this.


 * Okay, hold on, I got it. People of Elmore! You came to see a fight, and until a few seconds ago, I was just like you! But now that I know I'm the one who's supposed to get hit, I discovered something! Fighting is wrong! This is no way to settle a dispute. Because after all, what's more powerful? This [puts fist up] or this [gives  handshake and hug]?

[The crowd starts clapping and  is banging the window]

Principal Brown: Lucy, what's wrong? Speak.


 * This isn't at all what I had planned!

Principal Brown: Please don't tell me you're the one who arranged this fight.

[ goes ape and destroys his office again.]

The Museum

 * I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but I need your advice. Is it really wrong to create false evidence to frame some criminals who you know for sure are definitely, absolutely, without a single shadow of a doubt guilty?! [Talking to a baboon skeleton] Well I don't care what you say, DAD, I'm doing it anyway!

Boys Bathroom
[Sneaking into the boys room with her eyes covered and spray paint]
 * Let's see you get away with this one you little hooligans.

[Sprays herself]


 * And I know for sure these two did the graffiti because they were idiotic enough to sign there names at the bottom of it!

Principal Brown: Are you sure no one else could've done it?


 * Absolutely!

Principal Brown:   wrongly accusing the boys is one thing, but openly framing them is another! One more offense and you are fired! And you still owe these boys an apology.


 * [whispering] It's fine, it's fine.

[' is about to say that it already happened, but 'stops him.]
 * I'll apologize when fish start to walk.

Principal Brown: If this really is the kind of person you are, then we seriously need to talk about our relationship as well.

[ starts to go ape, but can't lift his desk.]

Principal Brown: I saw that coming. I glued everything to the floor. [They both start crying.]

Outside of School

 * I gotta be honest, . I'm not entirely comfortable with committing a crime.


 * Look, it's not a crime if you intend to get caught. Unless we actually do something bad, Simian's gonna blow a fuse and lose her hairy boyfriend. Do you really want that on your conscious? [ nods no] Good, now give me a leg up.


 * Now what am I supposed to do?


 * Give yourself a leg up.

''[Gives himself a leg up, literally. They sneak in the hallway and see Principal Brown crying and spilling coffee on himself because of the glue.  breaks into the bathroom through the air vent, while  just uses the door. He's about to say something.]''
 * Oh, of course.


 * Don't. Hehe. This is gonna be easier than I thought. [They see  and then she sees them and charges at them] Oh, why do I have to run every eight minutes of my life?!

[She is still charging and then you see  running away]
 * Wait, in the jungle when a gorilla charges, you have to stand up to the ground.


 * Uh, is it working dude? Dude?


 * I just realized, we can't let her catch us, until we've done something bad.


 * Ah, you could've told me!

[She is still charging and  ''starts running with his legs coming off and then his top half has to catch up. ' is in a locker and opens it for '.]''
 * Sorry!


 * Quick, get in here. [She crashes into it, losing a tooth, which  puts back in her mouth where it came off.]

[ starts throwing rocks at the building.]
 * You get Brown's attention, I'll deface his car.


 * Psst, Principal Brown, Principal Brown, Principal Brown, Principal Brown, Principal Brown.


 * [gasp] Dude, why is every single window broken, except for Brown's?


 * How about you do it yourself if your such a hotshot. [ appears]


 * I caught them, I finally caught them. Which means, I can do this. [Struggles to smile] You're coming with me to the principal's office.


 * With pleasure. Wait, we forgot to spray our names.


 * What do you mean?


 * Well, duh, if we don't sign it, Principal Brown will think its you again, then you'll get fired and lose the love of your life. Now where would that leave us?


 * Are you trying to say you only did this to save my reputation, my job, and my relationship?


 * Of course. What do you take us for, some kind of criminals?


 * Well, yes. [Gasp] Then I was wrong. Right, I'll clean this up, you need to get out of here before Principal Brown sees this.


 * I don't think so,. We're not letting you ruin your life.


 * Don't worry, I won't. Just go! [They were leaving and she whispers to them] Boys, I'm sorry.


 * What?


 *  [a little louder] I'm sorry.


 * Say again.


 * [a little louder] I'm sorry.


 * Heh, heard it the first time miss. Just wanted to milk it.


 * [chuckling] Those little...

Principal Brown: [In his car, looking at the spray paint of a pose] Care to explain?


 * Wha... Ugh.