The Job/Transcript

A Shocking Revelation

 * Mom! Wake up!
 * Ah! Oh!
 * Mom? Are you okay?
 * Oh, I had the weirdest dream, I was on the front lawn, and your father had a job as a pizza delivery guy!
 * Ha! That wasn't a dream, that's what I just told you! And you fainted! Ha ha ha!
 * Eh. Uh, I guess I was just overcome by a strange new feeling!
 * What do you mean?
 * I think i'm pruhhh - I think i'm puhrulll - I think i'm prood of you Richard!
 * You mean "proud"?
 * Yes, I think so. It's just, I'm not used to saying that word much, particularly to describe your father. Uh, uh, I think I need to go lie down. Something about this is not right. (to Gumball and Darwin) Please follow him to make sure nothing goes wrong!
 * [Gumball and Darwin nod]
 * I gotta say, Dad, I never thought you were gonna get a job!
 * Neither did I! I found a number for Fervidus Pizza Delivery, but I didn't realize it was a job application. Should've known it was strange they wanted my Social Security number, but look at me now!! I am an Italian Food Distribution Engineer! Your mother is prood of me, and best of all, I can eat as much pizza as I like!
 * and : THEY GIVE YOU FREE PIZZA?
 * Technically, no! But what I do is:
 * Technically, no! But what I do is:


 * Step 1: Remove a slice from the center of the pizza.
 * Step 2: Eat the pizza slice.
 * Step 3: Push the remaining halves of the pizza back together, and cover your tracks.
 * Step 4: Put the pizza in its box.
 * Step 5: Enjoy how clever you are.
 * Step 6: Repeat.
 * Gawwh... Well, these pizzas aren't gonna deliver themselves! Whoa whoa whoa! whoa! Ha ha ha, GAAAH!
 * (proudly )Look at him... (noticing Richard dropped several pizza boxes) He's not gonna keep this job for long unless we give him a hand.

Whispers of Doom

 * Your father has a job... Your father has a job. SOMETHING'S GOING TO GO TERRIBLY WRONG, ISN'T IT?!
 * No, this is a good thing! We can finally buy all the things we need!
 * What do you mean? We've got everything we need!
 * Mom, we've all been wearing the same clothes for the past year, you three don't even have any shoes, and I think it's time Darwin wore some pants.
 * Huh... Wait a minute, show me that. Look at the crack down the earth, and your father's eyes! I've got a bad feeling about this.
 * Mom, Please. It's just delivering pizzas! How wrong can it go?
 * Ominous Voices: Very wrong....

A Very Special Delivery

 * Okay,438 Elm Street. That's the Place.
 * [Gumball rings the doorbell, Mr. Pepperoni opens the door]
 * (gasp) Siciliana,come see what the stork brought us!
 * [rushing footsteps, Siciliana appears at the door]
 * (gushing) Oh look, he's got his father's eyes! Oh he's beautiful.
 * Thank you so much. Here's a twenty.
 * [Gumball uses the hand holding the pizza box to take the money, causing the pizza to fall. The pizza slowly slides down the porch stairs, leaving a trail of blood red pizza sauce. The Pepperonis stare, frozen in horror. Gumball slowly puts down the now empty pizza box, casually handing them a different one, which Siciliana accepts, still gaping at the previous spectacle. Gumball and Darwin inch down the stairs, then dash off, but not before smashing the dropped pizza into the pavement.]

Richard on the Job

 * (Singing): Here I am, I got a J-O-B
 * Earnin' plenty o' dough for my family
 * Yeah, I'm Richard Watterson, employee
 * So have some R-E-S-P-C-K-T
 * I got a pizza in the box
 * I got a cola in the bottle
 * And I'll get it to ya' faster when I'm pullin' on the throttl-AHHHH!

''[Richard loses control of the delivery moped, starts skidding down the road. He distorts the existence of objects he passes by - he reverses the roles of a dog and his owner, a traffic light starts changing signals randomly, and the outfits of mannequins ond isplay get swapped.]''

Made with All-Natural Ingredients

 * Oh man, we gave them the vegetarian! What are we gonna do?!
 * (after stroking his chin) Improvise!
 * [Gumball rings the doorbell]
 * Are you sure this is going to work? Because right now-
 * [the screen scrolls down to reveal a poorly improvised vegetarian pizza - a mud crust with random plants and rocks found in an average garden strewn over as toppings.]
 * -it kinda looks like a load of grass and dirt...
 * Ehhh, it just needs some mozzarella.
 * [Spots a piece of old, chewed gum on the floor and picks it up, spreading it around their improvised vegan pizza appetizingly.]
 * There!
 * (looking withered from hunger) Ohhh, finally! I've been on this Tibetan diet where you're supposed to eat nothing but sunlight, but it's been really cloudy! I think I need to eat something that actually exists!!
 * [Digs into the "pizza", shoveling lump after lump of it down his throat. After a few seconds, he stops, realizing what he just ate. His eye twitches.]
 * ...At least it was organic...
 * [Mr. Small faints, his body sprawling out over his porch. Gumball pokes him with his shoe.]
 * (panicking) DUDE! I think he stopped breathing!
 * [Mr. Small blows a bubblegum bubble out of his mouth, signalling that he is, indeed, breathing. It inflates to a decent size, then pops. Darwin sighs in relief.]
 * That'll be twenty dollars.

A Healthy Dose of Unreality

 * [Nicole is in the kitchen, getting a mug full of water from the sink. Richard passes by the house, his reality-distorting effect still kicking, and causes the water to defy gravity. Nicole panics and shuts the water off. Anais casually strolls in.]
 * (still shaken up) Anais! Did you see that?! (pointing to the faucet).
 * See what?
 * [Nicole turns the faucet on again, but since Richard is long gone, it flows normally.]
 * (cheekily) Yeah, I know, running water! Wasn't like that in your day, huh? You know...when the world was in black and white, and you could leave your front door open, and everyone cycled to school in a bike with one big wheel at the front...
 * I don't claim to understand it, Anais, but something is going wrong. Seriously wrong. And I think it has to do with your father.
 * (scared) I think we're going to stop with the coffee...
 * (snapping) DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE I'M HYSTERICAL!

A Creepy Bunch of Bananas

 * [Gumball rings the doorbell to The Banana estate. Banana Bob answers]
 * Ah, pizza!
 * [Banana Bob starts chanting "pizza" repeatedly. His wife and son come to join him as Gumball and Darwin look on awkwardly. Richard passes by and once again distorts reality, this time putting the Banana family in an infinite loop, cursed to repeat the Pizza chant forever.]
 * Okay...um, so...guess what's in the box!
 * [The Bananas are still chanting "Pizza". Gumball takes that as their answer to his question/]
 * Correct! And for ten points, what's round, from Italy, and sometimes has olives on it?
 * [Same as the previous question. Darwin starts giggling.]
 * Right again! And, for double or nothing: what is the name of the tower that leans to one side!
 * [The Bananas are still chanting "Pizza".]
 * Eh, it's "pisa", but I'll give you that one.
 * (getting annoyed at their unresponsiveness) O-okay, okay, game's over guys.
 * [pausing to wait for a response]
 * and :: Riiight.
 * I'm just going to put the box down here. O-okay, bye now... (closes door)
 * Well somebody likes pizza...
 * [Gumball peeks through their mail slot. He sees the family still chanting pizza repeatedly, but in slow motion.]
 * That's one creepy bunch of bananas man.

Media Blitz

 * [Nicole is still worried about the state of the world. She shivers on the couch as Anais comforts her.]
 * Mom, when you say "Dad having a job has upset the fundamental balance of the universe", are you sure you don't just mean he's changed the balance of power in the house, and that upsets you because you're a little bit of a control freak?
 * No...well, maybe uh, I don't know anymore!
 * [Gumball and Darwin casually walk in]
 * Boys! What's going on with your father? Has something terrible happened?
 * Um, he dropped a few pizzas so...we delivered 'em. That's about it.
 * (relieved) Maybe I should just try to forget about this...
 * [Nicole turns on the TV. A breaking news report is on, alerting the citizens of Elmore of the strange things happening around the town.]
 * Reports of strange occurences all around Elmore! At Food 'n' Stuff, it's been nighttime all day!
 * It's supposed to be noon!
 * Meanwhile, residents were confused by unseasonal snow!
 * It's supposed to be June!
 * And one senior citizen seems to have inverted gravity!
 * I'm supposed to be on the ground!
 * [Nicole shuts off the TV, and starts getting angry. She realizes the only rational explanation for this is Richard getting a job.]
 * SEE? I told you! This is all because of your father! Some things are not meant to be! Dogs shouldn't get on with cats, men shouldn't have ponytails, and your father is not meant to have a job!
 * What are we gonna do?!
 * We have to stop him.

The Eleventh Hour

 * [Nicole, the kids, and a kidnapped Larry rush to fire Richard in their car.]
 * Look, I'm sorry, but tearing apart the fabric of the universe is not a dismissible offence! Now please let me go!
 * Don't you understand?! You need to fire him!
 * But he's doing okay!
 * What if he delivers a pizza late?
 * Uh, well, yeah I guess I could fire him for that...
 * Then he's not gonna deliver this one.

The Doom Song

 * Mild or spicy, my flavors will exhilarate
 * You get them double-quickly when I'm twisting the accelerator!
 * twisting the accelerator!
 * twisting the accelerator!