The Microwave/Transcript

The Grossest Thing Ever

 * Behold, Darwin! The grossest thing ever, I shall name it the gross jar! It shall be my legacy to the world! It's the coolest thing ever!
 * But I thought that my tap dancing dolphin impression was the coolest thing ever?
 * Yeah, but this just literally blew you out of the water.
 * What's inside?
 * Well...
 * Okaaaay... so what are you going to do with it?
 * Yeah, well, that's the problem. I don't really know. It needs a final touch to make it a true masterpiece.
 * and : Nuke it!
 * Could you tell me when my coffee's ready? I'll be in the garden
 * What's going on?
 * and :
 * It's looking at me!
 * Who? Where did you find an eyeball?
 * I didn't! It must be the atomic power of the microwave.
 * It looks like it's alive.
 * Mama.
 * Did you hear that? He called you mom!
 * Hmmmmm. And i guess that makes you its dad!
 * It's dad? AHHHHH! What am i gonna do?! I don't wanna be a baby father! Let's ditch it!
 * Shhhhh! Don't say stuff like that in front of him! I meant c'mon,it's kinda cute. Hello, little guy!
 * Don't you worry about a thing. Me and your father will take care of everything.
 * DARWIN! Where do you think you're going?
 * Uhhh.. Buy some stuff.. at the shop?
 * What are you doing? He's your son!
 * Im sorry little guy. From now on, i'll always be there for you.
 * Darwin, i think he's ready for his first steps!
 * Wait!  Come on, don't be shy, come to daddy! Awww, he's kinda got in my eyes, don't you think?  AHHHH! IT'S GOT MY (???) TOO!
 * Dude, it's what babies do, it's just suckling.
 * IT'S NOT SUCKLING IT'S EATING!
 * Okay, relax, he's just playing. He'll come out of his own.
 * Okay, okay ,okay. AHHHH! IT'S TEETH ARE SINKING IN!
 * Okay, that's enough! Bad baby! Stop moulding your father and get back in you jar this--  AHH! IT'S GOT MY NECK!
 * l I know what it is, it must be hungry.
 * Uhhh.. Buy some stuff.. at the shop?
 * What are you doing? He's your son!
 * Im sorry little guy. From now on, i'll always be there for you.
 * Darwin, i think he's ready for his first steps!
 * Wait!  Come on, don't be shy, come to daddy! Awww, he's kinda got in my eyes, don't you think?  AHHHH! IT'S GOT MY (???) TOO!
 * Dude, it's what babies do, it's just suckling.
 * IT'S NOT SUCKLING IT'S EATING!
 * Okay, relax, he's just playing. He'll come out of his own.
 * Okay, okay ,okay. AHHHH! IT'S TEETH ARE SINKING IN!
 * Okay, that's enough! Bad baby! Stop moulding your father and get back in you jar this--  AHH! IT'S GOT MY NECK!
 * l I know what it is, it must be hungry.
 * Okay, that's enough! Bad baby! Stop moulding your father and get back in you jar this--  AHH! IT'S GOT MY NECK!
 * l I know what it is, it must be hungry.