The Banana/Transcript

You're supposed to chew things you eat!

 * This pie chart is an illustration of the composition of happiness. This portion here represents the ratio of love needed in one's life. This portion here is the- [gets drowned out]
 * [chews on his pen] My brain is amazing. When I find something boring it actually prevents me from hearing it. [Mister Small keeps talking, but falls asleep]
 * Hm, I don't think it's your brain, I think it's his. He should seriously give up on this herbal tea.
 * [wakes up, inhales sharply] And this portion here represents the- [bell rings] Class disbluffed. [falls asleep again]
 * [walks to Darwin's desk and gives him a pen] Thanks for the pen, dude!
 * No problem.
 * [picks up pen, it is chewed a little] Hmm... Hey!
 * [turns] What?
 * [Gumball moves his hand to Joe to the pen, he keeps doing this until Joe is swinging his arms] What the derp is that?!
 * I don't know, what are you doing?
 * The pen! You chewed his pen.
 * [stops swinging his arms] No, I didn't. [leaves classroom]
 * What the...can you believe this guy?
 * Relax, dude, it's only a pen.
 * [yells] Don't you dude me when I'm right! You're supposed to chew things you eat, not people's stuff!
 * What about gum?
 * What about it?
 * You don't eat gum, but you chew that. It's even in the name, "chewing gum".
 * Yeah, sure, but that's specifically made for chewing. It wasn't a chewing pen, you write with a pen!
 * You get a fountain pen, you won't spray water with it.
 * [yells] You just don't chew other people's pens! It's the principle! This is what society is built upon, respect!

Can I borrow your glue?

 * [Walks to Joe in the cafeteria, inhales sharply] You know Joe, there's nothing that can't be solved with an apology, Joe.
 * Hmm... I forgive you for accusing me of chewing the pen.
 * [inhales sharply] Can I borrow your glue, please?
 * Yes, of course. [gives glue to Gumball] But don't go chewing on it! [laughs]
 * [laughs]

Exacting justice!

 * What are you doing?
 * [Stops] Exacting justice! [Continues]
 * What kind of justice is there in piercing a tube of glue like a psycho?
 * [sighs, slaps Darwin with a ruler]
 * Ow!
 * Now, what do you feel is an appropriate thing to do in return?
 * Turn the other cheek. [Turns]
 * Which means I can do this. [slaps Darwin again]
 * Ooh!
 * That emotion you're feeling, it's your thirst for justice. Quench it! [Darwin bends back ruler, but stops]
 * But what if you offer love instead of hatred? [Strokes Gumball]
 * Oh yeah, [strokes Darwin] that is nicer... [grabs Darwin's fin] but it's not justice! [slaps himself with Darwin's fin] This is justice! [slap] This is justice! [slap] This! [slap] Is! [slap] Justice! [slap]
 * Oh yeah, [strokes Darwin] that is nicer... [grabs Darwin's fin] but it's not justice! [slaps himself with Darwin's fin] This is justice! [slap] This is justice! [slap] This! [slap] Is! [slap] Justice! [slap]

A sticky situation.

 * [whistles, goes into the classroom, sees a note on his desk, reads] "Thanks for the glue." [sighs] How swell! I should make them a card to celebrate our friendship!''
 * Gee, that's what I call a sticky situation! [laughs, the container of glitter falls] Whoopsie! [laughs, reaches to it, but gets his hand stuck to a piece of paper] Hmm, Darwin's homework. Well, what am I gonna' glue now? [laughs, pulls homework off, tearing it in half, his hand sticks to the floor] Looks like I'm getting more and more attached to this school. [laughs pulls it off, gets hand stuck on one of his eyes] Now I'm even bonding with myself! [laughs; grunts and pulls an eye off laughs, looks at eye, screams]
 * Gee, that's what I call a sticky situation! [laughs, the container of glitter falls] Whoopsie! [laughs, reaches to it, but gets his hand stuck to a piece of paper] Hmm, Darwin's homework. Well, what am I gonna' glue now? [laughs, pulls homework off, tearing it in half, his hand sticks to the floor] Looks like I'm getting more and more attached to this school. [laughs pulls it off, gets hand stuck on one of his eyes] Now I'm even bonding with myself! [laughs; grunts and pulls an eye off laughs, looks at eye, screams]

We did the best we could

 * Okay, Joe we're going to take the bandages off now, but I just want to warn you that... we did the best we could. [Takes of the bandages and gives a mirror to Joe]
 * [Looks in mirror and his mouth and eyes are not there. He drops the mirror and screams with no words. Mister Small puts on Joes eyes and mouth] Noooooooooooooo-oh! Actually, not bad.
 * We found this tube of glue stuck to your uh... Anyway, in the future you need to be more careful, this tube was covered in holes.
 * But, it wasn't when I lent it to Gumball.
 * Hmm...
 * Hmm...
 * Hmm... [gets hand glued to his mouth] Oh, come on!

The glue I get

 * The glue I get, but the glitter? That's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it doesn't make it any nicer. You were right dude, we should've let that pen stuff slide.
 * [inhales sharply rapidly]
 * [Darwin tries to break into Joe's locker by banging a book on it.] Dude! Please chill out! Here, have some love. [Pats Darwin, who opens the locker and pulls out a book]
 * This, this is for my homework! [chews noisily, pulls out a football] And this, is for the glitter! [puts football in mouth and tries to pop it, but fails]
 * Just pop it already! [the football pops, Gumball screams]
 * He destroyed your desk too, so chew on this! [shoves a jockstrap in Gumball's face]
 * [Pretends to chew on jockstrap] Nyeh, nyeh! That's for my desk that I don't really... care about that much... Nyeh, nyeh! Take that, you banana... [Darwin keeps digging i the locker, Gumball throws jockstrap beheind him]
 * [grabs a fountain pen] Oh, look! A pen! And it's not chewed! [chews noisily] What else can we do to it?
 * [over intercom] Attention please, can Gumball and Darwin Watterson please come to Mr. Small's office thank you very much.

Conflict Resolution

 * [chuckles]
 * [chuckles]
 * [clears throat] Any conflict can be resolved with these three tools. The mirror reminds us that an enemy is just ourselves, but seen from another angle, the water reminds us that we all have something in common, and the hourglass is the time we need to reach an understanding.
 * [screams as Darwin flips an hourglass, filling it, then splashes water on Mr. Small and smashes a mirror right in front of him]
 * Come on, you googly-eyed punk!
 * Darwin!
 * We got one minute, let's finish this!
 * Geez, Louise! The pen! Give him the new pen!
 * I didn't chew your pen, honestly! But, I bought you a new one, [pulls out pen] because I myself have a pen of great sentimental value.
 * [laughs] It's not a fountain pen, is it?
 * Actually, yes, it is.
 * and : [whimper, as the pen they were chewing is the one Joe is talking about]
 * It's the pen that Obadiah Banana, the founder of our family, used to sign the registry when he first came to this country. [Gumball and Darwin whimper] It was a very expensive pen. I'm not even gonna' tell you where he had to hide it to keep it safe! [laughs] I would lose my mind if anyone chewed on that pen! Anyway, please accept this new pen, and let's be friends again.
 * Aww! [snivels]
 * [whispering to Darwin] Dude, we have to get to his locker before he sees what we've done.
 * Thank you, we gotta' go now, bye!
 * [Stops them] One minute! Thank you for a beautiful resolution. Banana Joe, you can go, I just need to fill out your hall pass guys. Gum...ball... [laughs] that's a funny name, isn't it? Ah, do you spell with two or three l's?
 * Two, two l's!
 * [laughs] I'm sorry, I just put one. [Rips it up]
 * Dude! You could've just put another one at the end!
 * Of course! Silly old hippie, I'll do another one; oh wait, I'm all out, uh I'll have to print one. [Reaches under his desk]
 * Come. On!
 * Huh?
 * Just print it, please!
 * Yeah, sure. Here it is, old reliable. [ Pulls out a typewriter and blows dust off, Gumball and Darwin cough, Mister Small stares at it] I don't know how it works.
 * Just. Let. Us. Go! Okay?!
 * You seem a little stressed up guys, you wanna try my herbal infusion? [drinks some] It's very good for the nervaallll... [trails off]
 * Mr. Small? [The tea pours out]
 * Yo!
 * Right, come on. [They run out of the room]
 * Woooohooo!

Joe finds the pen



 * Hey! Turn around, you cowards.
 * [laughs] No, thank you!
 * Turn around and face the can of butt-whoopin that I'm gonna' open on you!
 * Wouldn't it be better to stay like we are for that?
 * [screams] Turn around!
 * [inhales] Okay. [Gumball and Darwin turn around]
 * [yells as he charges towards Gumball and Darwin, rushes under them and hits a water fountain, face first. He groans as he slowly becomes unconscious and a bruise covers his face]
 * Augh, that's just great! Now people are gonna' come around the corner, see him like that and think we're massive bullies!
 * Which we are! Because of us he lost an eye, and we attacked him with a mirror, we punctured his tube of glue, and ruined everything in his locker, he got a huge brown banana bruise on his little face and we even managed to ruin the most precious thing his family ever owned! [They start crying]
 * [Stops crying] He did chew on the pen, though.
 * [Yells] It doesn't matter! What are we gonna' do now? [Gumball starts punching himself in the face] What are you doing?
 * Making it look like he won the fight.
 * [gasp] And then we'll be even, and we can be friends again, and no one will ever know what horrible people we are! [Starts slapping himself]
 * [happily beating himself up] Banana Joe, please! Not the face!
 * [also happily beating himself up] Oh, no! Not with the elbow!

[Gumball jumps up and down on his face while Darwin kicks himself]
 * Hey dude, pull one of my teeth out! [Darwin reaches into Gumball's mouth, but he stops him] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's completely over-the-top is it? Let's just get into position. [both fall down next to Joe and act unconscious as Joe wakes up]
 * [coughs] What happened?
 * [groans] You kicked our butts like a beast, that's what happened.
 * Awesome. I mean, how did it ever come to this?
 * It's our fault, Joe. We didn't know it was your family pen.
 * Well, Obadiah Banana always said that nothing was lost until you lose a friend, and I don't want that to happen to us.
 * [cries] That's really lame.
 * Group hug? [They try to hug but fail]
 * [standing up] Ow! What is that? [reaches in his pocket and pulls out a pen] Oh, hey Darwin here's your pen. [holds it out to Darwin]
 * [in a angry and serious tone] What?
 * Your pen, look, its got your initials on it. Wait, [laughs] oh, man. You know what this means? It means the pen you lent Joe was my pen, not yours, and I was the one who chewed it. I always chew my pen. [laughs] Isn't that funny? So all this fight for nothing, when I had the pen in my pocket the whole time. Pretty funny, huh guys? Guys? [Both Joe and Darwin make a fist at Gumball, but start stroking Gumball rather than harming him for starting this tragic episode, Gumball stares in confusion]