The Apprentice/Transcript

In the Parking Garage



 * Are you testing my personality?




 * Actually, you know what? [He gets out of the car, locks it, and walks away, then runs into Gumball again] What the-- How?


 * You lock cars to stop people from getting in, not getting out.


 * Oh, yeah.


 * And it's a criminal offense to leave a child unaccompanied in a vehicle.


 * I think that's pretty low down on a cop's list of priorities.




 * Were you about to leave a minor unaccompanied in a vehicle?!




 * No, he's just going home.


 * Unaccompanied?



At Chanax. Inc



 * What do you want?!


 * The chance to prove that I'm the right man for your daughter! If you won't test me, then I'll test myself! Like, uh, my love for Penny is as strong as my arms! [Arm-wrestles with himself. Patrick walks away and Gumball continues struggling] See? I win! That means I lost, too. [Runs after Patrick] Oh, wait, Patrick, hold on!


 * [to Karen] Hi. I have a 10:00 with the CEO.


 * Okay. And, uh, who is this?




 * Oh. What are you doing?


 * Proving my flexibility, because you know what happens when you're not flexible in a relationship? It breaks.


 * Sir?


 * Aha yes! He's my.. uh...apprentice. He follows me everywhere quietly and never does anything embarrassing.




 * Okay, well, he needs to sign in, too."[Gumball walks up, extends his arms, and signs the contract with his butt. Karen gives him a shocked expression and he winks at her]"

Operation Peanut Butter



 * And so the apprenticeship begins, learning from the man himself!


 * I think I'm gonna be sick.




 * Wait! [Runs to the restroom at lightning speed and blocks the door] This is the perfect chance to protect you in a vulnerable situation! [Imitates a walkie-talkie] Pssh, commencing Operation Peanut Butter. Sir, that might no be safe. I'll go in first. [He kicks the door open and cartwheels in] Clear. Clear! [Pushes one of the Clipboard Men out of the room] All clear. You are good to go. [Patrick goes in] Pssh, Operation Peanut Butter is a success. I repeat, Opera--


 * Can you please, just, stop saying that?


 * Sir, yes, sir! Would you like me to keep the door open to ensure your safety?


 * No! ...Actually, you could just, bring some water.

In the Elevator



 * It's my genes, isn't it?


 * What now?


 * You're worried that my DNA isn't good enough for your grandchildren.


 * What are you talkin' about?




 * [giggles] Well, you see, Patrick, DNA is the molecule that (?) the genetic code of life. It programs everything in your body, whether you're [shape-shifts] tall, small, or [a reptile] crawl. Whether you're a bat, a rat, or a cat, DNA is inherited from your parents--


 * Okay, I admit, I am worried about your father's genes. I heard he ended up in the hospital last week 'cause he wanted to know what lightning tasted like. But you can't do anything about your DNA.


 * [gleefully] Can't you? [Plucks a nucleobase off of the DNA and says in a pig's squeal with subtitles] How about a new voice? Oh - wait a sec...






 * I'll...uh...


 * [smiling awkwardly] Take the next one?


 * No, I was gonna say I'm gonna wear my eyes the other way around and bleach my brain.


 * Okay.



The Meeting

 * ...'Mornin'.


 * Good morning, sir. [Puts his hand up. Gumball high-fives him with a hand coming out of his head] So, uh, to begin a beginning [chuckles and takes out papers, putting them on the desk], I have a (?) development opportunity for your company.




 * He's acting like he's on television, but he's actually in an important business meeting!




 * Um, maybe I should just cut to the chase. I would like to present to you the--




 * He's trying to help, but he's making you look like a foo-hoo-hool!


 * I would like to present to you the--[There is a big poof of steam and the Goblin laughs again]